World Cup Preview Part Two

Monday Weigh In: Clocked in at 207.5 pounds this week which is down a pound from last week. While I am a little annoyed that I am not making more progress (I would love it if one workout would result in my being in perfect shape) I am now seeing several weeks of losing that pound a week that I am aiming for. I still think that I can do better but the wonders of actually paying attention to portion size and getting fit is beginning to pay off.

Ok, time to finish off the World Cup preview. And be thankful that last night I didn’t use my Ghanareans pun.

Group E
Teams: Netherlands, Denmark, Japan, Cameroon
Predicted to move on: Netherlands, Cameroon
Thoughts: In what is always confusing the Netherlands are the Dutch and Denmark are the Danes. The Danes are not the Dutch though for what it is worth. You can always tell the Dutch due to the fact that they are always wearing Orange (and I’m talking University of Illinois level orange) and they are typically winning. If you want to cheer for a small European country with liberal drug laws this is your best choice. I’m pulling for Cameroon to sneak into the second round based solely on the fact that they are referred to as “The Indomitable Lions of Cameroon”. I’m not making that up; it is the official team name. Compare that to the US which is known as, “The Men’s National Team.” Japan is pretty much just happy to be here and the Denmark team would much rather be playing with legos.

Group F:
Teams: Italy, Paraguay, New Zealand, Slovakia
Predicted to move on: Italy, Slovakia
Thoughts: Defending champion Italy gets a really easy draw as they should walk through the group. That said, Italy has a history of forgetting to show up for its first few games so there is a chance that anything could happen. The Italian team is best known for their blue jerseys, fiery tempers, and tendency to smoke while playing. I’ll cheer for Slovakia because my Czech squad didn’t make it so I’ll pull for our former countrymates. Paraguay is best known for having Ascencion as its capital or possibly Montevideo. Seriously, do we need both a Paraguay and a Uruguay? Can’t we just merge those countries into one and make all of our lives easier? If you live in a major city I would recommend finding the Kiwi bar to watch the New Zealand games. Not because you’ll be cheering the winner but mainly because Kiwis are really, really cool.

Group G:
Teams: Brazil, North Korea, Ivory Coast, Portugal
Predicted to move on: Brazil, Portugal
Thoughts: Glorious leader predicts great success for North Korea! Other nations forfeit games before taking field! Rumors that entire team defected upon landing entirely untrue! Possibility that poor performance will lead to invasion of South Korea quite high! I’m not kidding on the last one. I could actually see that happening.

Anyway, it is tradition in the World Cup that one group be known as “The Group of Death”. Since the groups aren’t seeded in the traditional sense one group always tends to get overloaded with top teams. That happened with this group as you have traditional powers Brazil and Portugal competing against up and comer Ivory Coast, which has the home continent advantage. Sadly, Ivory Coast’s best player broke his arm last week, which for some reason means he won’t be able to play. I don’t understand that given that you can’t use your hands but that means that Brazil and Portugal should move on. This is still the most interesting group to watch though just because no one has a clue what the North Korean team is going to be like.

Group H
Teams: Spain, Switzerland, Honduras, Chile
Predicted to move on: Spain, Switzerland
Thoughts: Spain is one of the favorites for the World Cup and I’d expect them to make the knock out stage. However, this is Spain that we are talking about and if there is one team that chokes on a regular basis it is the Spanish. I mean, they literally take siestas during games. Honduras is in the Cup (while countries like China and India are not) and that in and of itself should leave you stunned. Come on, can you think of a category where Honduras would be considered one of the top 32 countries in anything? Chile has a chance but I expect the Swiss with their clockwork precision and complete neutrality to get the second spot.