Ok, I’ll admit, that is a fair cop. Starting a story with “so this drunk chick ended up on my lap asking me if I was married” and not explaining what happened next is a little weak. But as will soon be made abundantly clear, I had a reason to be vague.
(For the record, my reply was “Not that I recall”, which is a) clever and b) accurate given that there are a few hours on Bourbon Street that I still can’t account for.)
But if I have learned anything it is that being clever is not a very useful strategy with someone who is so drunk that she basically can not stand on her own. All that happened next was that we talked for a minute or two and then she was off with the other people that she came in with. If I had my A game on something interesting would have happened. If I brought my B game, at least something would have happened. Last Friday I think I was bringing my V game, which is when I open my mouth and I am embarrassed by what I am saying while I am actually saying it. Like I get halfway through the sentence and just say, “Wow, this isn’t working at all, is it?”
(Erik, feel free to punch me right now for this. And the story that follows.)
She wasn’t the only drunk girl who decided to talk to the guy at the end of the bar. Had another conversation with a loud drunk girl, who was wondering why I was so tense and stiff. That is a very good question because even though I was at a bar at two in the morning (having gone to my first bar at three that afternoon, don’t even bother asking) I just could not let myself go. I’m not sure why that is but I just haven’t been having fun when I go out. I head out to the bar and I think about work and my future and then wonder why I keep on waking up at four in the morning every night for the past month. I just haven’t been able to let everything go for a few moments and instead when I’m at the bar I feel like I’m just going to work again. I need a mindset change rather quickly.
Oh, she did ask me one of my favorite questions, “Who are you here with?” My answer is always, “Me” and that freaks people out. No one quite understands that I believe that just because I might not always have a crowd of people with me doesn’t mean that I should just lock myself in my apartment and live my life by interacting with the digital representations of people. It’s better with a crowd, definitely, but barring one I’ll still live life on my own terms.
How I Met Your Mother Update Part 5: It dawned on me this evening that Barney has somehow obtained a job that gives him a window office in Manhattan with an assistant while I work in a box somewhere in a converted cornfield in Kansas. This tells me one thing, I really need to wear suits more often. I’m wondering what would happen if I just started wearing a suit and tie to the office everyday. First of all, it would probably take a week for anyone to notice but I wonder what would happen. I’m really thinking of trying it and then continually upping the ante. Like start off by just wearing a tie and then bring on the suit coat and just keep on going until I’m showing up to work wearing top hat and tails. Including white gloves and a cane. I just think this would be stellar.
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