Drinking for fun and profit and fame

Trivia Update: Victorious once again! Yes, the team of the Kai Badgers (one half Cobra Kai one half, uh, Badgers) proved victorious in the pub quiz, thereby earning us entry into a $500 quiz at the KC Irish Fest. Yeah, my schedule is now booked with trivia contests occurring three months in the future. Still, five hundred bucks is enough money that I’ll start training for it. Expect me to spend some time in Rocky IV level isolation, running hills while reminding myself of where Three’s Company was located.

My big impressive answers today were knowing all of the Irish Nobel Laureates, knowing that Optimus Prime led the good Transformers and being able to name all of the characters on The Facts of Life. This resulted in the following conversation with a teammate of mine.

John: “Chris, you really need to get a girlfriend.”
EC: “I know but apparently knowing all of this shit isn’t considered an attractive quality.”

Good times and hey, when my winnings cover my bar tab it is considered a good night.

Ok, there was a news story from last week that I need to discuss. Maybe you guys saw it. In Utah they found that in a townhouse that was recently vacated that it was filled with crushed Coors Light cans. As in 700,000 cans. With the math being that this guy drank 24 cans a day, every day, for eight years. And this makes me feel very, very small.

See, I realize that there is someone better than me at basically every aspect of life. You have the seven year old who swam from Alcatraz today and I couldn’t do that. I’ll admit that there are some people who would be considered better looking than me. I’ve even confessed that there are a handful of people who I deem to be smarter than me (there aren’t many and after one very bad experience I’ve learned not to date them). But I thought that there was one thing that I was best at the world in. I figured that no one could touch me in terms of being a beer drinking, obsessive compulsive slob. Now I read this story and I find out that I wasn’t even in the ballpark. Man, talk about feeling insignificant.

But a case of Coors Light a day for eight years? The guy’s liver should be placed in the hall of fame. Wouldn’t you get sick of Coors Light after a while? Like, maybe three beers into it? What is your mindset when you go into the liquor store every week? Did he ever see the other cases and go, “You know, maybe I should try some of that Michelob Ultra stuff. Just for a change of pace.”

All of this makes me think of Ben Franklin’s famous quote, “Beer is God’s way of letting us know that he wants us to be happy.” And my corollary “And Zima is God’s way of letting us know that he is very, very disappointed in us.”