When you have the same commute every day little things take on a great deal of significance and annoyance. I had a great example of one of these today. I found myself behind a loaner Lexus on a two lane road. This isn’t too big of a deal, it’s nice to know that a dealership will still lend out loaner vehicles, but I noticed that the car had its window wipers on when it wasn’t raining. And continued to have the window wipers on for the entire fifteen minutes that I followed it.
You would not believe how much this upset me. It was even worse than when you follow someone with their turn signal on. Sure, that drives you up the wall but at least you understand how it could happen. We all have left a turn signal on only to notice twenty or thirty seconds later. It is easy to miss. But how the hell can you not notice that your windshield wipers are on? Even in an unfamiliar car it shouldn’t be that difficult to figure out how to turn them off. Given that it is a loaner car it is not as though it should be in bad condition. I just got more pissed off every time I looked through the windshield and saw those blades flip across. Made me wonder how they got their hands on a Lexus in the first place.
Anyway, so we fired Charlie Weis today. That means we won’t have him to kick around anymore, which is kind of a shame since he was a rather large target. My choice to fill his sweatshirt is Mark Mangino. I think we can all agree that our hope of having a talented, inspiring coach on the Notre Dame sideline is pretty much a pipe dream. Instead I think we should just focus on hiring fatter and fatter coaches until TLC dedicates a camera crew to the team to film their “800 pound coach” special. If anyone can explain to me what those shows on hyper-obese people have to do with learning I am all ears. All it teaches me to do is put down the sandwich.
Tiger Woods Update: He will not play in his own tournament and is likely out until the start of next year. Also, one of his friends has stated that he is in the market for a “Kobe special.” I’m guessing that he is going to go shopping at Jared’s. Because what is the 13 letter answer to “What does a guy do after hooking up with a skank in Australia who then brags about it to all of her friends in New York?”
It is interesting to see that other people are picking up on whether or not this should be a story or not. If this is indicative of an affair or spousal abuse does not at the moment impact whether he makes a 20 foot putt. But since Tiger Woods is a billion dollar brand built upon being a squeaky clean image this is a huge story. If John Mallinger had this happen to him it would not even have made the ESPN ticker. Who is John Mallinger? He was the 50th best golfer in the world last year bringing in $1.7 million. Tiger Woods is paid for being a celebrity that is what endorsement dollars are for. In return for those payments you lose the right to privacy. Yes, in a perfect world we would let Tiger sort this out on his own but we all want to see our heroes get dirty. It makes them human.
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