Candy Corn: I may be the only person on the planet who actually enjoys candy corn. I could eat it all day. In the middle of July I will see a bag of candy corn in the store that has clearly been there for nine months and have to be physically restrained from buying it. This despite the fact that candy corn has no discernable taste or even reason to exist. I just consider it to be the physical embodiment of awesomeness. Also, I really do have to wonder about why we are donating candy corn to the poor as it is like going, “Sorry you can’t have real vegetables but here is a confectionary vision of what vegetables are like.”
Circus Peanuts: In the history of the planet no one has ever eaten a circus peanut. I believe that they may be the least popular candy ever made. In fact, I don’t even know if they technically make them. I think that they made one batch in 1967 and they have sat on store shelves ever since. If you went into a store and put a note on the back of a bag of circus peanuts and returned in a year that same bag would still be there. Please, if any of my worldwide readers can profess to being a fan of this item let it be known in the comments.
Nerds: Ah, one of the candies of the gods. Now, as someone who was called a nerd his entire childhood (shocking, I know) I was at first a little hesitant about a candy called Nerds. I mean it is just another opening for wet willies and the dreaded rear admiral. But, Nerds were absolutely kick ass. You got two flavors that you could either enjoy on their own or in combination and the entire thing was basically pure sugar. Even better was the fact that it wasn’t something that you would down in thirty seconds. A candy bar is finished in moments but a box of Nerds could last you an entire day. Best fifty cents you could ever spend.
Whatchamacalit: Is it a chocolate bar? Is it a peanut butter bar? Is it one of those damn Fiber One bars that I am now forced to eat as an adult in an effort to become “regular?” No one knows. It is the glowing briefcase in Pulp Fiction of candy bars. Everyone has theories but there is no conclusive proof.
Rolos: The favorite of dentists everywhere. In fact, I have always assumed that most of the candy industry is funded by dentists in a wonderful perpetual cycle of tooth decay. Nothing can be more tasty and more damaging than the Rolo. Just gooey caramel and chocolate that will stick to your molars and you can actually feel it tear the enamel away and you just don’t care. I mean, it is freaking caramel! You would drink a glass of the stuff if you could.
Dr. Pepper: Wait you say. Dr. Pepper isn’t candy? That may be true everywhere except in wonderful Berwyn where as a kid one of our neighbors would on Halloween give each of us a can of Dr. Pepper. I swear I am not making this up. All of my brothers can attest to this fact. I have never understood why this was the case or why none of us ever questioned it. I love my hometown but you have to admit this might explain why I ended up being someone who you wouldn’t describe as typical.
Best of 120 Minutes: I don’t know if the Freddy Jones Band ever appeared on 120 Minutes but I listened to them in college so I figured that it would be a good match. Plus I believe that this video captures every early 90’s video cliché imaginable. Out of focus band shots? Check. Angsty slow motion? Check. Unnecessary use of blue screen? Check. Great band though.
The five random CDs of the week (new car, same story):
1) Loreena McKennitt “The Book of Secrets”
2) Gillian Welch “Time (The Revelator)”
3) Son Volt “American Central Dust”
4) The Iguanas “Super Ball”
5) Jay Bennett and Edward Burch “The Palace at 4 AM (Part One)”
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