The Second Half

Best of 120 Minutes: Let’s start off the week with something up tempo, shall we. Here is a classic from The Mighty Mighty Bosstones, a band that actually did not go down in history as being best known for their appearance in a Converse commercial. Personally, I like any band that has one guy whose job is to simply dance on stage. Doesn’t sing, doesn’t play an instrument, they don’t even hand him a tambourine. Just wear a suit and dance on stage. Awesome.

Well, I’ve reached the midpoint of my severance period and hopefully the midpoint of my unemployment. Can’t say for certain that that is the case but I would hope to be working again in the near future. I’m still confident that I will find something especially now that it will become my primary daily focus. But before I start talking about my job search plans I think I should spend some time discussing what I have learned over these past few months.

I’ve learned that without a daily work schedule the concept of days of the week begins to fall apart. I wished someone a happy Friday last week and realized that it really wasn’t any different than any other day of the week for me. I couldn’t even count the trivia game as unique as I do that three times a week. Every day becomes pretty much indistinguishable from the next outside of television schedules and thanks to a DVR even that is rather flexible. I think that adds to the fact that I somehow lost a week or two in May, apparently. I know where they went (and I certainly enjoyed them) but they still seemed to disappear from the calendar on me.

I’ve also learned that a job doesn’t mean nearly as much to my personal satisfaction as I thought it did. Everyone who knows me understands that I am a very achievement oriented person. I do want to be the best at what I do and I always assumed that I needed the structure of school or a job in order to feed that desire. Someplace where I could keep score and know what I have accomplished. But I think I have flourished since I’ve removed myself from that environment.

My stress levels are down greatly since I’ve just removed myself from that pressure of needing to succeed at every moment of the day. I’m nowhere near as obsessive compulsive as I have been in the past (and just wait until I am one day confident enough to share those stories). I’m happier than I have been in ages and even though things have gone pear shaped around me I have been able to keep my head about me and stay in the positive. My life isn’t perfect and I’m still the same flawed individual that I always have been but I’m much more settled into my own skin at the moment.

I don’t know where I will be nine weeks from now. Don’t know if I’ll have a job or who it will be with or even where it might possibly be. And I know that I will soon be back to the grind of getting up before seven, putting on the button down shirt and making my way to a cubicle five days a week. All I hope is that I don’t lose this feeling that I have inside me right now. I’m confident. I’m satisfied. I know who I am and I am pleased with that knowledge. It’s taken me so long to reach this point, longer than I ever expected, and I don’t want to give it up just yet.