Country of Origin?

So I had a class on interviewing techniques today. It was one of the most useful classes that I have taken since I started actually trying to find gainful employment. Not that the other ones were bad, it is just that I don’t really need to go through a self-assessment (as others have noted, I might be the most self-aware person on the planet) or a resume class (because I have made a living out of having pieces of paper that say that I am smart). But going through the ins and outs of the interview process (as well as how to negotiate) is always useful.

Now I am very familiar with the behavioral style of interviews otherwise known as the “tell me about a time when” interview. Basically as long as you can think on your feet and tell a story you can make it through those. I’ve even dealt with psychological screening questions before, which are always a joy to go through. Apparently employers feel that they need to question my sanity along with my talent set. But something I’ve been thinking about this week is changing the tone of the entire interview process. Instead of reacting to questions why not take a more proactive, even aggressive approach? Such as the following…

“You consider that to be a valid question? Seriously, is that what they teach you to ask in order to find the most qualified candidate? You might as well just throw all the resumes up in the air and grab one at random.”

Or

“What do you mean you are not going to hire me? Have you lost your mind? I mean, it is possible that you ate lead paint chips as a child but otherwise I can’t think of one valid reason why this company shouldn’t hire me. Hell, they should hire me just so they could fire you. I could fill both roles without breaking a sweat.”

Who knows, it might work.

The other big thing is that it is National Spelling Bee week! I of course have already assembled my fantasy team (The Onomatopoeia Britannica) for the event. Hey, if ESPN is going to broadcast it I am going to wager money and develop a fantasy team for it. My rules are pretty straightforward. Look for kids who did good, but not too good, in the geography bee. The kids who win that tend to peak too soon and are coming off such a rush that they don’t have their game faces on. Also, always lean towards the home schooled kids. They tend to be more socially backwards and inclined to spend their time reading a dictionary as opposed to playing organized sports or being outdoors.

For those who wonder, I actually never competed in one of these spelling bees. I wouldn’t have been very good though I was a pretty good speller in my day. I can memorize like mad so I might have had a shot but was never into it. I did however win a rather large history quiz contest in grade school, which resulted in my meeting my congressman a few times. It was essentially one large history trivia contest and I smoked the field at that. Yep, even as a kid I was a trivia maven. And of course, I competed in more math contests than I could possibly imagine even making state my senior year. Yes, that is how it is phrased. I’m not sure if I should be proud of that fact. I was the coolest guy there so at least I had that going for me.