Tonight marks the official changeover as I have now placed Natalie in her new home on my rather crowded desk. If there seems to be an inordinate number of spelling errors this week (or just general crabbiness on my part) understand that I am trying to learn a new computer and operating system along with the fact that while I am a very fast typist, I break every typing rule known to man. Thus, changing the size of the keyboard actually screws up my typing. It is very, very annoying.
And I have to say that naming the new machine Natalie has been very fitting. Mainly because while she is beautiful there is absolutely nothing that I can do to please this machine. Seriously, every piece of software has resulted in a war between myself and Vista. I finally got the wireless mouse to work, I have nearly succeeded in getting Office to unlock (though I’m using Works right now) and my attempt to install wireless broadband has been met with derision. It’s pretty much how I’d expect a date with Natalie Portman to go. She’d insult me for my inability to pour a glass of water correctly while all I could is sit there, drool, and go “You’re purty.”
(On the other hand, Julie and I worked together like we were soul mates. She knew exactly what I wanted and would meet me halfway on all of my hare-brained schemes. Is it right to feel like you have given up on your best relationship ever when that relationship is with a computer? It’s not like I threw her away, I’m just using her to work on my book but still. I really feel guilty about this and that is probably something I shouldn’t admit in public.
I have a few stories from the weekend that I just need to share.
Story #1: While driving past a Sonic I saw that the billboard read “Get your jumbo popcorn chicken here.” That is a rather stunning sentence when you think about it. I know what every single word in that sentence means but when placed in that order they become completely meaningless. Is the popcorn jumbo? Is there such a thing as a jumbo chicken that was created as a part of some freak genetic engineering experiment gone wrong. Is that something that I would want to experience? And is the middle of Kansas the best place to experience it? This is what I think about as I drive around town.
Story #2: I know a lot of people wonder what I do on a Saturday night. There are a lot of stories that have gone on over the years about my wild life. Well, as I was sitting in front of the television on Saturday night, watching Voltron and placing my bank statements in chronological order, I realized that this is probably how everyone envisions my life to be. It’s like I’m a twelve year old. A very organized twelve year old.
Oh, and some notes on Voltron. First, in telling the myth about the invincible Voltron they probably shouldn’t mention how the witch (who was impersonating a Goddess) cursed Voltron and separated him into the five lions. That tends to take away from the whole “invincible” claim. Second, it’s nice to see how the characters repeat the plot in every scene. I know this is something you notice as an adult but come on, did we need all five characters making the same point? Third, was Pidge always such a whiny bitch? He annoys the hell out of me. I mean, so does Sven but at least I know he gets his in the end. Finally, I think the lasting popularity of this show can be placed solely on the shoulders of Princess Allura. The rather beautiful shoulders of Princess Allura. Hey, for a ten year old you take your beauty where you can find it.
Story #3: I did watch “The Winner”, the new show on Fox with Rob Corddry that is from the makers of Family Guy. It is looking to be a great show. Love the fact that for some reason they set it in 1994, which is just a bizarre touch. Rob is hilarious as always and the kid they have acting with him is carrying his weight as well. And let’s be honest, while How I Met Your Mother is how I envision my life to be I bet more than a few people would see similarities in this show. But hey, he does become the richest man in Buffalo so I’ve got that going for me. Anyway, great show worth checking out. (Plus, best Simpson’s episode in ages tonight. Loved the music in the dark Stanley scene.)
The five random CDs for the week:
1) Allison Moorer “The Hardest Part”
2) Gomez “Bring It On”
3) Tanya Donelly “Lovesongs for Underdogs”
4) Kelly Willis “Bang Bang”
5) Billy Pilgrim “Bloom”
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