Time to dip into the Infrequently Asked Questions file…
Question: What is the Shakespeare project and why does it become important in December?
Answer: The Shakespeare project is my quest to a) read every Shakespeare play and b) read one Shakespeare play a year. This has been going on basically since I was thirteen years old and has taken on a life of its own. Here is the list so far
The Comedy of Errors (the first play I ever read)
Romeo and Juliet
The Merchant of Venice
Julius Caesar
Hamlet
Macbeth
King Lear
Richard III
Othello
As You Like It
Measure For Measure
A Midsummer Night’s Dream
Much Ado About Nothing
The Taming of the Shrew
The Tempest
Twelfth Night
The Merry Wives of Windsor
Cymbeline
The Winter’s Tale
Titus Andronicus
(This list isn’t meant to make me sound smart. It’s honestly the first time I’ve listed them all and I needed it for reference.)
Admittedly, only four of these were read for a class and the rest were read with varying degrees of understanding. For example I really need to reread King Lear, Macbeth and Richard III because all I remember about them is that one had a daughter named Cordelia, one had a lot of people named Mac in it and one involved either a whore or a horse, I can never remember which. But over time I’ve been able to learn how to read Shakespeare and I have to say that I do enjoy it.
This year I’ll be reading Henry IV Part I as I think I’ve gone through all of the comedies and now will start to tackle the histories. It’s become part of the tradition that I read Shakespeare in December partly due to the fact that I wait until the end of the year to meet this goal and partly because its seems kind of poetic to curl up on a cold December night and read the greatest playwright’s works. See, even a cynical bastard like me has a soft side.
Question: Speaking of cold winter nights, what were you listening to while driving through a snowstorm?
Answer: Jack Johnson and Nina Simone. Jack Johnson is probably not recommended as it is entirely about surfing and in this instance seems to be an entire album made to remind you that you are an idiot for living in the Midwest. (By the way, Brushfire Fairytales has not aged well. That’s not a shot at Jack because I love his stuff. It’s just that you can see how much he has improved over time. He might be one of the few people where I prefer his later work.) Listening to Nina though while watching people spin in the snow is a wonder. Cool jazz for a cool night.
Question: If, oh who am I kidding, when you build your time machine where is the first place you are going to go?
Answer: For the longest time the answer to this question was that I would go back in time to meet Isaac Newton and then kick his ass for inventing calculus and making my life a living hell in college. Though that would probably invalidate the entire universe so there are some risks, though I could totally take him in a fight. However, I read something today that made me really want to visit the Australian outback 50,000 years ago. Apparently at that time there was all of this mega-fauna roaming around like eight foot tall kangaroos and wombats the size of cars.
I don’t know about you, but I think an eight foot tall kangaroo would be the coolest thing ever. Could you imagine a herd of those guys hopping past you. Were talking Yao Ming with good hops here. Your reaction would be “Aw, aren’t they cute…oh my Science they’re headed this way. Run for your life.” Plus, I just like the idea that wombats exist, and car sized ones would be like really furry cattle. Or buffalo with a softer side.
Thursday, November 30, 2006
Wednesday, November 29, 2006
My Own Private Cubicle
(I know I set a “Don’t talk about work” rule and this is the third day in a row where work will play a part. It’s more of a “Don’t talk about what I do, who I work for or who I work with” rule.)
I have a very strange seating arrangement at work. I am the only person from my department on my wing of the building. Honestly, every other person on this side of the floor reports to a different VP than I do. I ended up here because a year ago there was an empty cube and this is where I was placed. It leaves me on a little island in my own little self-contained workgroup. I love it, they just leave me in my little corner and let me be a subtle genius. It’s pretty cool.
There are some drawbacks, though. See, the weather started turning bad today and at three I started to notice a lot of people leaving work. I just figured that it was a case of people being too scared to drive in sleet and using it as an excuse to get out of work and put my headphones back on and went back to my spreadsheet. When I left at five I realized that my car was basically the only one in the parking lot. It was like a ghost town. It then dawned on me that they may have announced to the entire campus that they should go home early and I wasn’t notified about it. Not sure if I am proud of that or rather disturbed.
Still, the drive home was easy and it only took me five or ten minutes longer than it usually does. Tomorrow should be worse with the first real snow of the season but I like snow. It will make for a very interesting commute, though.
The other thing about the rather rough conditions this evening is that it meant that no one came out for trivia tonight. There were a grand total of five teams playing so of course this is the night that I am on fire answering a ton of questions right. We won, which is something that we haven’t done in ages at the Flea Market, but it almost doesn’t count. And I am still pissed about missing a Family Guy question (I thought James Woods was the name of the junior high as opposed to the high school). But I did know that Bill Clinton gave Monica Lewinsky “Leaves of Grass” to read, which should count for something.
And I don’t know if I’ll believe it until I see it but apparently in the KC magazine it states that trivia at the Flea Market is the in thing to do if you are single. This astounds me. First of all, this would make me cutting edge. Second, I’ve been playing there for six months and not only have I not hooked up with anyone but I can’t even imagine a situation where that would even have been feasible. Finally, does this mean that I have entered a world where my knowledge of pro wrestling and video games is considered to be attractive? Like maybe there are women coming to these games going, “You know what I look for in a husband? Someone who can identify the theme song to The Tick. And who can tell me what college team plays at Beaver Stadium.” Every time I think I’ve figured out this world I hear something like this and can’t figure out if I’m the coolest guy on the planet or the biggest loser or that I’m potentially both at the same time.
I have a very strange seating arrangement at work. I am the only person from my department on my wing of the building. Honestly, every other person on this side of the floor reports to a different VP than I do. I ended up here because a year ago there was an empty cube and this is where I was placed. It leaves me on a little island in my own little self-contained workgroup. I love it, they just leave me in my little corner and let me be a subtle genius. It’s pretty cool.
There are some drawbacks, though. See, the weather started turning bad today and at three I started to notice a lot of people leaving work. I just figured that it was a case of people being too scared to drive in sleet and using it as an excuse to get out of work and put my headphones back on and went back to my spreadsheet. When I left at five I realized that my car was basically the only one in the parking lot. It was like a ghost town. It then dawned on me that they may have announced to the entire campus that they should go home early and I wasn’t notified about it. Not sure if I am proud of that or rather disturbed.
Still, the drive home was easy and it only took me five or ten minutes longer than it usually does. Tomorrow should be worse with the first real snow of the season but I like snow. It will make for a very interesting commute, though.
The other thing about the rather rough conditions this evening is that it meant that no one came out for trivia tonight. There were a grand total of five teams playing so of course this is the night that I am on fire answering a ton of questions right. We won, which is something that we haven’t done in ages at the Flea Market, but it almost doesn’t count. And I am still pissed about missing a Family Guy question (I thought James Woods was the name of the junior high as opposed to the high school). But I did know that Bill Clinton gave Monica Lewinsky “Leaves of Grass” to read, which should count for something.
And I don’t know if I’ll believe it until I see it but apparently in the KC magazine it states that trivia at the Flea Market is the in thing to do if you are single. This astounds me. First of all, this would make me cutting edge. Second, I’ve been playing there for six months and not only have I not hooked up with anyone but I can’t even imagine a situation where that would even have been feasible. Finally, does this mean that I have entered a world where my knowledge of pro wrestling and video games is considered to be attractive? Like maybe there are women coming to these games going, “You know what I look for in a husband? Someone who can identify the theme song to The Tick. And who can tell me what college team plays at Beaver Stadium.” Every time I think I’ve figured out this world I hear something like this and can’t figure out if I’m the coolest guy on the planet or the biggest loser or that I’m potentially both at the same time.
Tuesday, November 28, 2006
Life, Liberty and Enchiladas
My biggest challenge in writing a novel: apparently it is bad form to write a novel in bullet point form.
Topic # 1: Like probably ninety percent of the people who read this blog, I drive past a Taco Bell on the way to work every morning. I’ve noticed recently that they fly flags over the Taco Bell. Not the American flag or the Kansas flag (which features wheat and the state motto “Darwin was a moron”). No, they are flying the tricolors of Taco Bell Nation. I am really concerned about this as it leads to the possibility of all of the Taco Bells of the world joining up and declaring themselves a sovereign land of five and only five ingredients. They would probably have one of the largest militaries in the world, though you’d only have to wait until they turned thirty and started to suffer weekly heart attacks to defeat them.
Topic # 2: To my neverending amazement, Pandora alternately understands my musical tastes and misses by such a margin that it disturbs me. On the positive side, it intuitively knew that I needed to listen to Matthew Sweet today. However, it also wanted me to listen to Shakira and this scares me. I don’t want to listen to Shakira, I don’t want to know what Shakira sounds like and I don’t know how anything in my playlist would lead you to think that Shakira would be up my alley. It’s a great way to do streaming radio, if only for the WTF moments that arise.
Topic # 3: Oh, and my new notebook complaint related to Pandora. My new laptop has a digital volume control meaning that the sound is either off or really, really loud. The old one I could control so that I could wear headphones but still hear everything going on behind me. Now, it’s just me and the music and even that is too loud. This isn’t an item I can officially complain about though. Can’t really tell your boss that you don’t like your new laptop because it isn’t as good at playing CDs as the old one.
Topic # 4: Has anyone else noticed the new commercials for Mel Gibson’s “Apocalyptico”? They are actually promoting it by showing Mel and having him talk about the film. Given that he is persona non grata in Hollywood right now I wonder if this means that even the voice over guy they use for every trailer won’t work for him. When the “In a world…” guy doesn’t even take the paycheck, you’re in trouble. Plus, I don’t know how you promote a film about a pre-Columbian civilization performed in dead languages with subtitles. Maybe the tagline could be “Want to have other people think you are intelligent and arty? Watch this film. Or, at least realize that the seats are really comfy and the theater is air conditioned so you can take a nice nap. Or you could act like a teenager and make out during the film. Not like anyone is going to quiz you on plot details or anything.”
Topic # 5: I know I spent much of last week ranting about how How I Met Your Mother was stealing aspects of my life for their plot lines. Not that I want to continue that train of thought but Marshall was wearing a Notre Dame t-shirt for no reason whatsoever last night. I’m just saying…
Topic # 1: Like probably ninety percent of the people who read this blog, I drive past a Taco Bell on the way to work every morning. I’ve noticed recently that they fly flags over the Taco Bell. Not the American flag or the Kansas flag (which features wheat and the state motto “Darwin was a moron”). No, they are flying the tricolors of Taco Bell Nation. I am really concerned about this as it leads to the possibility of all of the Taco Bells of the world joining up and declaring themselves a sovereign land of five and only five ingredients. They would probably have one of the largest militaries in the world, though you’d only have to wait until they turned thirty and started to suffer weekly heart attacks to defeat them.
Topic # 2: To my neverending amazement, Pandora alternately understands my musical tastes and misses by such a margin that it disturbs me. On the positive side, it intuitively knew that I needed to listen to Matthew Sweet today. However, it also wanted me to listen to Shakira and this scares me. I don’t want to listen to Shakira, I don’t want to know what Shakira sounds like and I don’t know how anything in my playlist would lead you to think that Shakira would be up my alley. It’s a great way to do streaming radio, if only for the WTF moments that arise.
Topic # 3: Oh, and my new notebook complaint related to Pandora. My new laptop has a digital volume control meaning that the sound is either off or really, really loud. The old one I could control so that I could wear headphones but still hear everything going on behind me. Now, it’s just me and the music and even that is too loud. This isn’t an item I can officially complain about though. Can’t really tell your boss that you don’t like your new laptop because it isn’t as good at playing CDs as the old one.
Topic # 4: Has anyone else noticed the new commercials for Mel Gibson’s “Apocalyptico”? They are actually promoting it by showing Mel and having him talk about the film. Given that he is persona non grata in Hollywood right now I wonder if this means that even the voice over guy they use for every trailer won’t work for him. When the “In a world…” guy doesn’t even take the paycheck, you’re in trouble. Plus, I don’t know how you promote a film about a pre-Columbian civilization performed in dead languages with subtitles. Maybe the tagline could be “Want to have other people think you are intelligent and arty? Watch this film. Or, at least realize that the seats are really comfy and the theater is air conditioned so you can take a nice nap. Or you could act like a teenager and make out during the film. Not like anyone is going to quiz you on plot details or anything.”
Topic # 5: I know I spent much of last week ranting about how How I Met Your Mother was stealing aspects of my life for their plot lines. Not that I want to continue that train of thought but Marshall was wearing a Notre Dame t-shirt for no reason whatsoever last night. I’m just saying…
Monday, November 27, 2006
Another couple lost...
There are a couple of things that you don’t want to see when you walk into your cubicle on a Monday morning. Security guards waiting outside your desk is one of them. Seeing the blue screen of death on your laptop is another. I had the latter happen to me today (though I have actually seen the former happen at various points in my career). Yes, I go away for the weekend and my laptop at work decided to give up the ghost. We were able to save the information but I was forced to upgrade to a new laptop. It’s like an early Christmas present.
Or at least it is for the most part. It’s nice having a bright screen that is actually larger than a piece of paper and the space bar on this one actually works for a change but it is still tough getting used to a new machine. As you could guess, I spend a lot of time at my computer and not only does every icon need to be in a particular spot on the screen for me to be happy I also need the keyboard to feel a certain way. And that’s a bit of an issue right now.
See, I never learned how to properly type. Never took a course and my hands are constantly in the wrong positions. However, I’ve memorized the keyboard and can type at a really good speed until my hands cramp up. This means that a new laptop has me hitting the caps lock key every five seconds because it is where the A key used to be. It’s like I should change my out of office message to “Expect productivity declines until my brain rewires itself.” Yeah, this is what I deal with at the office on a fairly regular basis.
The other big news story of the day is clearly the Pamela Anderson-Kid Rock divorce. Coming on the heels of the Reese-Ryan divorce, the Brit-K-Fed divorce and the impending Tom-Katie divorce (we’re going to rescue you Katie, just stay strong) this is really beginning to make me question the strength of relationships in Hollywood. There should be like a federal inquiry or something on this. I mean, who could ever imagine Kid Rock and Pam breaking up? Or were smart enough to take the under?
(Also, can someone explain the attractiveness of Pamela Anderson to me? This has bugged me for a decade now. I have never understood what made guys go nuts for her. She has enough plastic in her that if you held her next to an open flame she’d melt, she’s got absolutely no intelligence, and I don’t even think she has that pretty of a face. Is the interest in the injections and nothing else? And isn’t that kind of sad?)
Or at least it is for the most part. It’s nice having a bright screen that is actually larger than a piece of paper and the space bar on this one actually works for a change but it is still tough getting used to a new machine. As you could guess, I spend a lot of time at my computer and not only does every icon need to be in a particular spot on the screen for me to be happy I also need the keyboard to feel a certain way. And that’s a bit of an issue right now.
See, I never learned how to properly type. Never took a course and my hands are constantly in the wrong positions. However, I’ve memorized the keyboard and can type at a really good speed until my hands cramp up. This means that a new laptop has me hitting the caps lock key every five seconds because it is where the A key used to be. It’s like I should change my out of office message to “Expect productivity declines until my brain rewires itself.” Yeah, this is what I deal with at the office on a fairly regular basis.
The other big news story of the day is clearly the Pamela Anderson-Kid Rock divorce. Coming on the heels of the Reese-Ryan divorce, the Brit-K-Fed divorce and the impending Tom-Katie divorce (we’re going to rescue you Katie, just stay strong) this is really beginning to make me question the strength of relationships in Hollywood. There should be like a federal inquiry or something on this. I mean, who could ever imagine Kid Rock and Pam breaking up? Or were smart enough to take the under?
(Also, can someone explain the attractiveness of Pamela Anderson to me? This has bugged me for a decade now. I have never understood what made guys go nuts for her. She has enough plastic in her that if you held her next to an open flame she’d melt, she’s got absolutely no intelligence, and I don’t even think she has that pretty of a face. Is the interest in the injections and nothing else? And isn’t that kind of sad?)
Sunday, November 26, 2006
Holiday Recap
You know, it’s kind of odd that on the night of a major holiday that I don’t spend a page writing about the meaningfulness (or commercialization) of the event. Instead I write about old Nirvana songs. Sadly, that is probably a more genuine feeling from me than if I wrote about a group of people who for some reason thought that wearing belt buckles on their hats was a very wise fashion choice. It’s a bad sign when you are thrown out of England for “not being cool enough.”
It was a pretty calm holiday. It came down to traveling to visit my family or dinner at Chili’s and while it is the place where fun and family meet, there is something about having my Thanksgiving dinner served with an inordinate amount of flair that seems rather unappetizing. It was really good to get home and see everyone for a few days. Since I moved out here that has been a rarer and rarer occurrence and I’ve learned to appreciate the times I do get to just relax with my family. Plus, in what must be the first time ever, both of my flights were on time and I had only minor waits to pick up my luggage. I’m now officially dreading my next flight because it is going to have to be a disaster just to even things out.
(Well, maybe the ND game was the disaster that evened things out. Yeesh, that was not fun to watch. We always seem to be about a step slower than those teams, which is a bit of an issue for our defensive backs. I was actually at the game the last time we beat USC and at the time it really didn’t feel like that big of a deal. Maybe I should have realized that we needed to savor the moment at the time.)
And, in what should come as a surprise to no one, I pretty much spent the entire weekend avoiding shopping malls. I can not understand people who will camp outside for Black Friday sales. Nintendo Wii debuts, that I can see waiting for due to its unrivaled awesomeness. But to get a discount on a DVD player at Target? Is that worth losing sleep over? That said, I just do not have the mindset for shopping in those environments. I walk into a mall with a gameplan, complete with primary and secondary objectives. If a store does not contain one of the items that I require I will not even glance at it as I going hurrying past. Shopping isn’t meant to be fun, it is time that should be minimized at all costs.
Well, unless you are shopping for electronics. In that case, you really need to test out every system before you determine the best one. And music stores don’t count because until you go through every rack you can’t be certain what gems are hidden. But that’s not shopping, that’s enjoying life.
Time to readjust to life in an office. It was so nice not having to set an alarm for a few days.
The five random CDs of the week:
1) Jack Johnson “Brushfire Fairytales”
2) Nina Simone “At the Village Gate”
3) Michael McDermott “Bourbon Blue”
4) Paul Burch and the WPA Ballclub “Blue Notes”
5) Robbie Fulks “Georgia Hard”
It was a pretty calm holiday. It came down to traveling to visit my family or dinner at Chili’s and while it is the place where fun and family meet, there is something about having my Thanksgiving dinner served with an inordinate amount of flair that seems rather unappetizing. It was really good to get home and see everyone for a few days. Since I moved out here that has been a rarer and rarer occurrence and I’ve learned to appreciate the times I do get to just relax with my family. Plus, in what must be the first time ever, both of my flights were on time and I had only minor waits to pick up my luggage. I’m now officially dreading my next flight because it is going to have to be a disaster just to even things out.
(Well, maybe the ND game was the disaster that evened things out. Yeesh, that was not fun to watch. We always seem to be about a step slower than those teams, which is a bit of an issue for our defensive backs. I was actually at the game the last time we beat USC and at the time it really didn’t feel like that big of a deal. Maybe I should have realized that we needed to savor the moment at the time.)
And, in what should come as a surprise to no one, I pretty much spent the entire weekend avoiding shopping malls. I can not understand people who will camp outside for Black Friday sales. Nintendo Wii debuts, that I can see waiting for due to its unrivaled awesomeness. But to get a discount on a DVD player at Target? Is that worth losing sleep over? That said, I just do not have the mindset for shopping in those environments. I walk into a mall with a gameplan, complete with primary and secondary objectives. If a store does not contain one of the items that I require I will not even glance at it as I going hurrying past. Shopping isn’t meant to be fun, it is time that should be minimized at all costs.
Well, unless you are shopping for electronics. In that case, you really need to test out every system before you determine the best one. And music stores don’t count because until you go through every rack you can’t be certain what gems are hidden. But that’s not shopping, that’s enjoying life.
Time to readjust to life in an office. It was so nice not having to set an alarm for a few days.
The five random CDs of the week:
1) Jack Johnson “Brushfire Fairytales”
2) Nina Simone “At the Village Gate”
3) Michael McDermott “Bourbon Blue”
4) Paul Burch and the WPA Ballclub “Blue Notes”
5) Robbie Fulks “Georgia Hard”
Thursday, November 23, 2006
The choice is yours, don't delay
A few days ago I was watching television and came across something that tied into one of my major musical tenets. Within a few hours of each other I watched a Classic Albums documentary on Nirvana’s “Nevermind” and I then watched the full video for “Come As You Are”. This is really important to me because most people claim that “Smells Like Teen Spirit” is the song that ended hair metal but I don’t believe that it is true. It hurt it, definitely, had hair metal on the ropes but it is “Come As You Are” that put hair metal away for good.
It’s a little difficult to imagine what the music world was like fifteen years ago. It was a time when Skid Row was on the cover of every music mag and we weren’t that far removed from Wilson Phillips and Nelson ruling the charts. Sure, you also had Metallica and Guns N Roses as the two biggest bands on the planet but for the most part, music still seemed to be glam and style over substance. There was an underground scene and everyone had heard Losing My Religion more times than they could remember but it still seemed to be separate from everything else.
That’s what Nirvana broke into but to be honest, from Smells Like Teen Spirit you didn’t know if they were going to be a huge band or just another one hit wonder. It was different and unique but that is not unusual in music. So were the Crash Test Dummies and no one gave a damn about them before or since. And that’s the way I view Smells Like Teen Spirit, it was a warning shot and an indication of a different type of musical movement beginning. But it wasn’t what broke everything.
That’s where the opening bass line of Come As You Are comes in. That song and video were so completely opposite of what you would see from Motley Crue or Bon Jovi that it forced you to wonder what it all meant. You had the band playing behind a wall of water so that you could never quite make out what they looked like, as opposed to being able to name the brand of lipstick the band members were wearing. There were images of cells and babies, which screamed that this was about a new form of music rather than being mainly about strippers (which is what every third hair metal song was about). There was the dog with the satellite dish over its head that symbolized, ok, I don’t have a freaking clue what it was supposed to mean. Other than it and the image of Kurt swinging from the chandelier tended to stay with you for a very long time.
But it’s the final shot, the last thing you see as the guitar feedback fades, that said this is a different world now. The camera seems to be lying on a lawn with the band looking at it. And slowly, so slowly, Kurt leans forward to kiss the lens. Again, I don’t know if I can explain how different this was than everything else you would see on MTV. We weren’t that far removed from Home Sweet Home ruling the nightly request countdown for a year. Or Warrant’s Cherry Pie video, which involved a fire truck, pastries and probably something else that I’m forgetting. None of it was about showing vulnerability but that is what Nirvana did in those few seconds. Everyone knew that they could rock, hell, a lot of people considered them to be a metal band in the beginning., but it’s that one moment that changed everything.
It’s hard to realize that we are fifteen years removed from my first seeing that video. It makes you wonder if what you’ve done in the meantime has been worthwhile. But more than that, I wonder if I’ll ever be able to pinpoint a time when I’ve seen a culture change due to something as simple as a song.
It’s a little difficult to imagine what the music world was like fifteen years ago. It was a time when Skid Row was on the cover of every music mag and we weren’t that far removed from Wilson Phillips and Nelson ruling the charts. Sure, you also had Metallica and Guns N Roses as the two biggest bands on the planet but for the most part, music still seemed to be glam and style over substance. There was an underground scene and everyone had heard Losing My Religion more times than they could remember but it still seemed to be separate from everything else.
That’s what Nirvana broke into but to be honest, from Smells Like Teen Spirit you didn’t know if they were going to be a huge band or just another one hit wonder. It was different and unique but that is not unusual in music. So were the Crash Test Dummies and no one gave a damn about them before or since. And that’s the way I view Smells Like Teen Spirit, it was a warning shot and an indication of a different type of musical movement beginning. But it wasn’t what broke everything.
That’s where the opening bass line of Come As You Are comes in. That song and video were so completely opposite of what you would see from Motley Crue or Bon Jovi that it forced you to wonder what it all meant. You had the band playing behind a wall of water so that you could never quite make out what they looked like, as opposed to being able to name the brand of lipstick the band members were wearing. There were images of cells and babies, which screamed that this was about a new form of music rather than being mainly about strippers (which is what every third hair metal song was about). There was the dog with the satellite dish over its head that symbolized, ok, I don’t have a freaking clue what it was supposed to mean. Other than it and the image of Kurt swinging from the chandelier tended to stay with you for a very long time.
But it’s the final shot, the last thing you see as the guitar feedback fades, that said this is a different world now. The camera seems to be lying on a lawn with the band looking at it. And slowly, so slowly, Kurt leans forward to kiss the lens. Again, I don’t know if I can explain how different this was than everything else you would see on MTV. We weren’t that far removed from Home Sweet Home ruling the nightly request countdown for a year. Or Warrant’s Cherry Pie video, which involved a fire truck, pastries and probably something else that I’m forgetting. None of it was about showing vulnerability but that is what Nirvana did in those few seconds. Everyone knew that they could rock, hell, a lot of people considered them to be a metal band in the beginning., but it’s that one moment that changed everything.
It’s hard to realize that we are fifteen years removed from my first seeing that video. It makes you wonder if what you’ve done in the meantime has been worthwhile. But more than that, I wonder if I’ll ever be able to pinpoint a time when I’ve seen a culture change due to something as simple as a song.
Wednesday, November 22, 2006
Voices on the internet
The cover article for this month’s Wired magazine is about a subject that I’ve been thinking about over the past couple of days. It focuses on the internet phenomenon of Lonelygirl15, which is probably the first episodic web broadcast to really break big. Sure, there are some pod casts that had success but these videos are the first buzz worthy mentions in the new internet paradigm. People have given a lot of reasons for its success: interesting writing, a blurring between fiction and reality, or its interactive nature. All of those hold some truth but in the end I think there is one huge reason that people overlook: Lonelygirl15 looks like someone you would really want to date.
I know that sounds really bad, almost chauvinistic. Like the only reason these guys have any buzz is that they found this exotic looking 19 year old Australian girl to act in front of a webcam. That’s not my point. If you had Nicole Kidman doing this it wouldn’t be interesting at all. She’s incredibly beautiful but is so beautiful and famous that she doesn’t really exist as a human being. What would you say if you walked into a room and Nicole Kidman was there? What would your reaction be? It probably wouldn’t be any different than if you discovered the Easter Bunny or the Tooth Fairy or the Soul Cake Tuesday Duck. But people like Jessica Rose (the actress behind all of this) have a quality that just makes you want to know them and even more, give you the impression that if you ran into her at a bar that you’d be able to hit it off.
See, modern entertainment has had a strange evolution over the last hundred years. It started off as pure escapism: here is what life could be like if you weren’t dealing with the dust bowl or random bear attacks. There was no connection to reality, everything was just a soundstage backdrop of a perfect world. Over the years that false front still exists its just that we now all believe that our lives are supposed to mirror what we see on television and in the movies. We want the perfect house and the perfect smile and love at first sight because damnit, if it can happen to Rob Schneider in a movie why can’t it happen to me in real life?
So we look to entertainment now to escape a life that isn’t as glamorous as we dream it to be as well as to give us hope that maybe there is a chance for us after all. So when this girl starts posting videos to YouTube and you see that she is cute and interesting and smart you become intrigued. Maybe you check out her MySpace page. Maybe you send her an email. And she responds and you think that who knows, maybe this will be the one moment in your life where you find yourself living a movie. And it’s all because of the girl with the interesting eyebrows.
To me, that’s the future of entertainment. We really don’t want to watch beautiful people living lives that we can’t imagine anymore. There’s no joy in watching Paris Hilton either as a person or a fictional character. To be honest, it’s like watching a National Geographic special on kangaroos: fascinating at a distance but having absolutely no relevance on my life. But things like a good reality show or Ted’s journey for love in HIMYM tend to give you hope that the world is a little less plastic than we fear. That’s what we should learn from Lonelygirl15. We’re not looking to the internet to create a new form of entertainment. Were looking for someone out there in the world who will listen.
Have a happy Thanksgiving everyone.
I know that sounds really bad, almost chauvinistic. Like the only reason these guys have any buzz is that they found this exotic looking 19 year old Australian girl to act in front of a webcam. That’s not my point. If you had Nicole Kidman doing this it wouldn’t be interesting at all. She’s incredibly beautiful but is so beautiful and famous that she doesn’t really exist as a human being. What would you say if you walked into a room and Nicole Kidman was there? What would your reaction be? It probably wouldn’t be any different than if you discovered the Easter Bunny or the Tooth Fairy or the Soul Cake Tuesday Duck. But people like Jessica Rose (the actress behind all of this) have a quality that just makes you want to know them and even more, give you the impression that if you ran into her at a bar that you’d be able to hit it off.
See, modern entertainment has had a strange evolution over the last hundred years. It started off as pure escapism: here is what life could be like if you weren’t dealing with the dust bowl or random bear attacks. There was no connection to reality, everything was just a soundstage backdrop of a perfect world. Over the years that false front still exists its just that we now all believe that our lives are supposed to mirror what we see on television and in the movies. We want the perfect house and the perfect smile and love at first sight because damnit, if it can happen to Rob Schneider in a movie why can’t it happen to me in real life?
So we look to entertainment now to escape a life that isn’t as glamorous as we dream it to be as well as to give us hope that maybe there is a chance for us after all. So when this girl starts posting videos to YouTube and you see that she is cute and interesting and smart you become intrigued. Maybe you check out her MySpace page. Maybe you send her an email. And she responds and you think that who knows, maybe this will be the one moment in your life where you find yourself living a movie. And it’s all because of the girl with the interesting eyebrows.
To me, that’s the future of entertainment. We really don’t want to watch beautiful people living lives that we can’t imagine anymore. There’s no joy in watching Paris Hilton either as a person or a fictional character. To be honest, it’s like watching a National Geographic special on kangaroos: fascinating at a distance but having absolutely no relevance on my life. But things like a good reality show or Ted’s journey for love in HIMYM tend to give you hope that the world is a little less plastic than we fear. That’s what we should learn from Lonelygirl15. We’re not looking to the internet to create a new form of entertainment. Were looking for someone out there in the world who will listen.
Have a happy Thanksgiving everyone.
Tuesday, November 21, 2006
Technology Friviolity
A correction on a post from last week: As I was informed by the formidable trivia team of Hot Dog Water, I was incorrect in my belief that the video for Asia’s classic “Heat of the Moment” had this vague Raiders of the Lost Ark theme. That song’s video consisted of a heck of a lot of video monitors showing band related images. The Asia song I was thinking of was “Don’t Cry”, whose video does actually contain the band members falling into quicksand, bursting into flames and getting chained to walls. I was also wrong in the involvement of guitars but I think that is due to the last trap being a table similar to the one a guitar is placed on in Def Leppard’s “Rock of Ages” and the one that a Wilson sister from Heart (the one married to Cameron Crowe, not the one only filmed from the neck up) emerges from in a video as if she was poured into a mold.
And yes, I spent a heck of a lot of time on YouTube today determining these facts. I’m not sure what fact is more disturbing here. That I, someone with a number of degrees and believed by many people to contain actual intelligence, had the major focus of his life being searching out clips of nearly twenty five year old Asia videos or that someone a) recorded those videos on a tape, b) held on to that tape for two decades and c) decided to upload it to a website. Somehow I feel that this isn’t the best use of the internet. Coolest, yes, but maybe not the best.
Had this thought cross my mind as I was racing through Best Buy this morning to pick up my copy of How I Met Your Mother on DVD. Given the amount of free publicity I’ve given that show over the past year you’d think I’d get a copy of it gratis. Don’t get me wrong, it’s my favorite show on tv by a long shot (especially since the Simpson’s has decided to go into full on suck mode) but don’t I deserve something for being such a proselytizer of the show’s awesomeness? Of course, I bought a copy anyway and am now going through all of the commentary tracks waiting for them to say something like, “People keep on asking us where we get the ideas for the episodes. Well, there’s this guy in Kansas City…”
As you can tell, this has been a day for a lot of great thinking on my part. (Seriously, someone posted Asia videos on YouTube. I want to know why. Sure, it was of great benefit to me but who the hell kept a copy of those for two decades?) I do want to mention one idea that has been floating through my mind recently that would be good to discuss. I was given the suggestion recently that instead of writing a novel maybe I should write a collection of pieces in the manner of David Sedaris.
It’s a really good suggestion for a number of reasons. First, while I’ve been writing a lot I haven’t actively been writing fiction for five years and haven’t been writing long-form fiction for more like eight. All of my focus over the past few years has been on these shorter pieces. Plus, I think that is where my strength lies. I don’t know if I could build a plot that holds up over two hundred pages. Finally, I’ve been reading a lot of things in the Sedaris mold like Sarah Vowell and Chuck Klostermann so I think I know how to do that style.
So while I haven’t officially decided that is what I’m going to do next year I’m leaning in that direction. It will be a collection of fiction and memoir and pop culture analysis, hopefully with one thread that connects all of it together. I’ll probably expand some blog entries and add a few stories that have never made it in here for various reasons. I’m still open to suggestions or ideas. But mainly I think this might be the best way for me to move towards writing that one major work I feel that I have in me.
And yes, I spent a heck of a lot of time on YouTube today determining these facts. I’m not sure what fact is more disturbing here. That I, someone with a number of degrees and believed by many people to contain actual intelligence, had the major focus of his life being searching out clips of nearly twenty five year old Asia videos or that someone a) recorded those videos on a tape, b) held on to that tape for two decades and c) decided to upload it to a website. Somehow I feel that this isn’t the best use of the internet. Coolest, yes, but maybe not the best.
Had this thought cross my mind as I was racing through Best Buy this morning to pick up my copy of How I Met Your Mother on DVD. Given the amount of free publicity I’ve given that show over the past year you’d think I’d get a copy of it gratis. Don’t get me wrong, it’s my favorite show on tv by a long shot (especially since the Simpson’s has decided to go into full on suck mode) but don’t I deserve something for being such a proselytizer of the show’s awesomeness? Of course, I bought a copy anyway and am now going through all of the commentary tracks waiting for them to say something like, “People keep on asking us where we get the ideas for the episodes. Well, there’s this guy in Kansas City…”
As you can tell, this has been a day for a lot of great thinking on my part. (Seriously, someone posted Asia videos on YouTube. I want to know why. Sure, it was of great benefit to me but who the hell kept a copy of those for two decades?) I do want to mention one idea that has been floating through my mind recently that would be good to discuss. I was given the suggestion recently that instead of writing a novel maybe I should write a collection of pieces in the manner of David Sedaris.
It’s a really good suggestion for a number of reasons. First, while I’ve been writing a lot I haven’t actively been writing fiction for five years and haven’t been writing long-form fiction for more like eight. All of my focus over the past few years has been on these shorter pieces. Plus, I think that is where my strength lies. I don’t know if I could build a plot that holds up over two hundred pages. Finally, I’ve been reading a lot of things in the Sedaris mold like Sarah Vowell and Chuck Klostermann so I think I know how to do that style.
So while I haven’t officially decided that is what I’m going to do next year I’m leaning in that direction. It will be a collection of fiction and memoir and pop culture analysis, hopefully with one thread that connects all of it together. I’ll probably expand some blog entries and add a few stories that have never made it in here for various reasons. I’m still open to suggestions or ideas. But mainly I think this might be the best way for me to move towards writing that one major work I feel that I have in me.
Monday, November 20, 2006
My Life is a Sitcom
Ok, I am now officially scared.
I knew when I started the blog two years ago that I was taking certain risks. I might embarrass myself, I could get myself fired, I could mistakenly tell a girl the link to the blog and have her find out way too much about me and hence, stop returning my calls. But in the cost benefit equation that is my life I figured that I could take that chance. I certainly never expected the following.
I am now convinced that one of the writers on How I Met Your Mother reads this blog.
Sure, I had an inkling when Ted got drunk on “Red Dragon” shots and had people writing on his arms in marker. There’s the whole “friends who are from Minnesota and a lawyer” bit. Heck, an episode revolved around “going to a dating service and having the number of perfect mates calculated for you”. But tonight is the clincher. Tonight we had a discussion on getting married at the Mall of America.
Which is what I wrote about here on June 26, including the requisite Orange Julius joke. Check the archives.
Look, I’m not asking for much (a signed photo of Allyson Hannigan would be nice). I find it rather funny to have the camera crew fliming my life for material. But really, if you want me to write for the show all you have to do is ask. I’m sure that I have a few Backer stories that could use a sitcom treatment. Plus, I can’t be the worst sitcom writer in the world. I think the trained manatees can beat the guys who write “According to Jim.”
Tonight’s episode was classic, though. Just the entire slap bet had me rolling with laughter. And yes, I’ll be picking up the first season DVD set tomorrow (thought about camping out for it, hey, it got all those PS3 guys on TV). I haven’t hit their MySpace page yet, though I should just so I could add a friend. Yes, if you have a page, please feel free to send me a friend request. It’s what my life has come to, begging for MySpace friends. It would probably help if I logged in more than once a month, though.
(I’ll still stand behind my belief that MySpace has jumped the shark. It’s not because I have a page or that television shows have pages. It’s because Chili’s listed their MySpace page on one of their commercials. How can you be hip and underground when Chili’s is using you for advertising? And who would have Chili’s listed in their Top 8? I can understand being devoted to a band, but who the hell dedicates their life to where they buy overprice potato skins?)
Last note: I can’t believe that they’ve cancelled the O.J. interview and book. Not because I thought it was a good idea, I was pretty firmly in the disgusting and disgraceful camp. I really want to understand how O.J. could go on the air saying, “Well, here’s how I would have killed the mother of my children.” But mainly I’m stunned by the fact that Fox changed their mind under the auspices of doing something morally right. It’s like, “That show about bears mauling passing by was cool and all, but this might just be a little too much.”
I knew when I started the blog two years ago that I was taking certain risks. I might embarrass myself, I could get myself fired, I could mistakenly tell a girl the link to the blog and have her find out way too much about me and hence, stop returning my calls. But in the cost benefit equation that is my life I figured that I could take that chance. I certainly never expected the following.
I am now convinced that one of the writers on How I Met Your Mother reads this blog.
Sure, I had an inkling when Ted got drunk on “Red Dragon” shots and had people writing on his arms in marker. There’s the whole “friends who are from Minnesota and a lawyer” bit. Heck, an episode revolved around “going to a dating service and having the number of perfect mates calculated for you”. But tonight is the clincher. Tonight we had a discussion on getting married at the Mall of America.
Which is what I wrote about here on June 26, including the requisite Orange Julius joke. Check the archives.
Look, I’m not asking for much (a signed photo of Allyson Hannigan would be nice). I find it rather funny to have the camera crew fliming my life for material. But really, if you want me to write for the show all you have to do is ask. I’m sure that I have a few Backer stories that could use a sitcom treatment. Plus, I can’t be the worst sitcom writer in the world. I think the trained manatees can beat the guys who write “According to Jim.”
Tonight’s episode was classic, though. Just the entire slap bet had me rolling with laughter. And yes, I’ll be picking up the first season DVD set tomorrow (thought about camping out for it, hey, it got all those PS3 guys on TV). I haven’t hit their MySpace page yet, though I should just so I could add a friend. Yes, if you have a page, please feel free to send me a friend request. It’s what my life has come to, begging for MySpace friends. It would probably help if I logged in more than once a month, though.
(I’ll still stand behind my belief that MySpace has jumped the shark. It’s not because I have a page or that television shows have pages. It’s because Chili’s listed their MySpace page on one of their commercials. How can you be hip and underground when Chili’s is using you for advertising? And who would have Chili’s listed in their Top 8? I can understand being devoted to a band, but who the hell dedicates their life to where they buy overprice potato skins?)
Last note: I can’t believe that they’ve cancelled the O.J. interview and book. Not because I thought it was a good idea, I was pretty firmly in the disgusting and disgraceful camp. I really want to understand how O.J. could go on the air saying, “Well, here’s how I would have killed the mother of my children.” But mainly I’m stunned by the fact that Fox changed their mind under the auspices of doing something morally right. It’s like, “That show about bears mauling passing by was cool and all, but this might just be a little too much.”
Sunday, November 19, 2006
Why is Melissa Joan Hart MIA?
Weekend thoughts…
1) What I learned this weekend: Ted from How I Met Your Mother is in Not Another Teen Movie. I’d be a lot happier if I learned this through the internet rather than the fact that I spent a portion of my Saturday night lying on the couch watching Not Another Teen Movie. With the special pop-up comments on that mention exactly which teen movies were being parodied at any given time. On that point: remind me to add She’s All That to my Amazon wish list.
2) Ultimate sign that you have reached regular status: Walk into the bar and it is packed, actually having to wait outside to get in. Walk up and while still three deep at the bar have a bartender reach over the crowd to hand you your drink before you have even made eye contact with anyone. Maybe on some level I should be worried about these things but I think everyone should have at least one place where this is the norm. Or where they are the Norm.
3) I accomplished one of my 43 things this weekend! Ok, it was getting my car washed. What, you were hoping for me to attack one of those deep and meaningful goals first? To be honest, this was something that was months overdue as my car looked like absolute hell. I was at the point where I would actively tell people that I didn’t own a car as opposed to offer them a ride. It was to the point where buying a new car was becoming a legitimate option just because it would be cleaner.
4) You can tell that the holidays are approaching when I make a trip to the drug store to pick up as much Sudafed and cough drops as I possibly can. Yeah, it’s looking like I’m getting one of my annual holiday head colds. Started feeling it coming on on Friday and it’s slowly been getting worse as the weekend has progressed. Just once I would like to have a holiday weekend where I didn’t feel like I was going to have my head explode from sinus pressure. (I figure that I’ll never have a holiday weekend where my head doesn’t feel like it’s going to explode from stress.)
5) Listened to the Damien Rice CD a couple of times over the weekend and I would definitely pick it up. I’ve seen a few reviews where they thought it sounded unfinished and I can see that complaint but it really isn’t that much of an issue. It’s a little disjointed at times but the moments of pure brilliance that occur on the disc more than make up for it. Any disc that has me hitting repeat over and over again is a good one.
6) Here’s my explanation of why Damien is so cool. I made it home on Friday night in time to watch him perform ‘9 Crimes’ on Conan. It’s the first song on the disc but the first voice you hear on the song is Lisa Hannigan’s. She sings the entire first verse while Damien is just playing the piano. Then he joins in, followed by Vyvienne Long’s mournful cello and the song just builds and builds from there. It’s chilling and beautiful and daring. I know of few solo artists who would open an album with anything other than their own voice.
The five random CDs of the week (and in a first, I’ve seen all of these people in concert):
1) Richard Buckner “Meadow”
2) Blue Rodeo “Tremolo”
3) Zachary Richard “The Best of Zachary Richard”
4) Webb Wilder “Hybrid Vigor”
5) R.E.M. “Automatic for the People”
1) What I learned this weekend: Ted from How I Met Your Mother is in Not Another Teen Movie. I’d be a lot happier if I learned this through the internet rather than the fact that I spent a portion of my Saturday night lying on the couch watching Not Another Teen Movie. With the special pop-up comments on that mention exactly which teen movies were being parodied at any given time. On that point: remind me to add She’s All That to my Amazon wish list.
2) Ultimate sign that you have reached regular status: Walk into the bar and it is packed, actually having to wait outside to get in. Walk up and while still three deep at the bar have a bartender reach over the crowd to hand you your drink before you have even made eye contact with anyone. Maybe on some level I should be worried about these things but I think everyone should have at least one place where this is the norm. Or where they are the Norm.
3) I accomplished one of my 43 things this weekend! Ok, it was getting my car washed. What, you were hoping for me to attack one of those deep and meaningful goals first? To be honest, this was something that was months overdue as my car looked like absolute hell. I was at the point where I would actively tell people that I didn’t own a car as opposed to offer them a ride. It was to the point where buying a new car was becoming a legitimate option just because it would be cleaner.
4) You can tell that the holidays are approaching when I make a trip to the drug store to pick up as much Sudafed and cough drops as I possibly can. Yeah, it’s looking like I’m getting one of my annual holiday head colds. Started feeling it coming on on Friday and it’s slowly been getting worse as the weekend has progressed. Just once I would like to have a holiday weekend where I didn’t feel like I was going to have my head explode from sinus pressure. (I figure that I’ll never have a holiday weekend where my head doesn’t feel like it’s going to explode from stress.)
5) Listened to the Damien Rice CD a couple of times over the weekend and I would definitely pick it up. I’ve seen a few reviews where they thought it sounded unfinished and I can see that complaint but it really isn’t that much of an issue. It’s a little disjointed at times but the moments of pure brilliance that occur on the disc more than make up for it. Any disc that has me hitting repeat over and over again is a good one.
6) Here’s my explanation of why Damien is so cool. I made it home on Friday night in time to watch him perform ‘9 Crimes’ on Conan. It’s the first song on the disc but the first voice you hear on the song is Lisa Hannigan’s. She sings the entire first verse while Damien is just playing the piano. Then he joins in, followed by Vyvienne Long’s mournful cello and the song just builds and builds from there. It’s chilling and beautiful and daring. I know of few solo artists who would open an album with anything other than their own voice.
The five random CDs of the week (and in a first, I’ve seen all of these people in concert):
1) Richard Buckner “Meadow”
2) Blue Rodeo “Tremolo”
3) Zachary Richard “The Best of Zachary Richard”
4) Webb Wilder “Hybrid Vigor”
5) R.E.M. “Automatic for the People”
Friday, November 17, 2006
Madness of crowds
Correction: I should not have made too much fun of Kansas’ loss to Oral Roberts as Oral Roberts features the 900 foot Jesus. He’s really tough to defend in the low post. Either that or MC 900 Ft. Jesus is on the squad and even that guy has some shifty moves.
(Yeah, I’m an Illini who wouldn’t mind seeing that traitor Bill Self fail miserably. I’m just a little bitter about a coach quitting his job at a point where it was nearly impossible to find a successor. Thankfully, Weber can coach and wears cool fluorescent orange sportsjackets while doing it.)
I decided upon something tonight. I always talk about how I like seeing bands in small clubs and how I hate it when bands get big. I finally figured out why, when I first see a band typically the only people who like the band are there and they are all cool. As the band gets more popular suddenly all of these people who aren’t nearly as cool you are surround you and instead of enjoying the set all you can do is think, “Who the hell let these morons in?” It’s a dangerous tipping point.
This is on my mind since I just got back from seeing Old Crow Medicine Show and they have moved from their bluegrass following to more of a jamband following. This means that yet again I was forced to deal with hippies, white people with dreadlocks, Deadheads and a bunch of guys who think that beards make a really good fashion statement. I swear, these people will be sixth against the wall when the revolution comes. (I’d have them higher but I figure it’s going to take some time to get them to the wall. We’ll probably have to announce a Phish reunion concert in Vermont and account for van breakdowns, money crisis, and really interesting cloud formations.) While I appreciate that they support these guys (who are some of the best musicians around), it somehow takes some of the fun out of the show for me.
(And can someone please explain the beard thing to me? There were dozens of guys there with really scraggly beards. I know Kansas is behind the fashion curve but I was confused as to what decade I was supposed to be in. Now if you want to know what’s hip, check out Starzan Tees: where not doing the required reading is a prerequisite for cool.)
It was a good show but not a blowaway one. Liberty Hall never seems to mike them correctly, which has to be tough given that they only use pick up mikes and they have four vocalists. They’ve always sounded tinny in that place. It’s still amazing to see these guys go at it at full throttle. They are a bluegrass band made up of a bunch of young guys and they play like they’re in a punk band. Plus, one guy plays a guitjo and he does it extremely seriously, possibly because playing a guitjo (which is part guitar, part banjo) is nearly impossible without growing a third arm. Check them out, put them in your Pandora playlist, the usual drill.
That’s about it. I’ll have my thoughts on the new Damien Rice disc next week. My first thought is you have to listen to the song “9 Crimes”. Wow, that’s worth buying the album right there. Until then, I’ll be off on my usual adventures. Have a fun weekend, Go Irish, and may we find a way that both Ohio State and Michigan lose on Saturday.
(Yeah, I’m an Illini who wouldn’t mind seeing that traitor Bill Self fail miserably. I’m just a little bitter about a coach quitting his job at a point where it was nearly impossible to find a successor. Thankfully, Weber can coach and wears cool fluorescent orange sportsjackets while doing it.)
I decided upon something tonight. I always talk about how I like seeing bands in small clubs and how I hate it when bands get big. I finally figured out why, when I first see a band typically the only people who like the band are there and they are all cool. As the band gets more popular suddenly all of these people who aren’t nearly as cool you are surround you and instead of enjoying the set all you can do is think, “Who the hell let these morons in?” It’s a dangerous tipping point.
This is on my mind since I just got back from seeing Old Crow Medicine Show and they have moved from their bluegrass following to more of a jamband following. This means that yet again I was forced to deal with hippies, white people with dreadlocks, Deadheads and a bunch of guys who think that beards make a really good fashion statement. I swear, these people will be sixth against the wall when the revolution comes. (I’d have them higher but I figure it’s going to take some time to get them to the wall. We’ll probably have to announce a Phish reunion concert in Vermont and account for van breakdowns, money crisis, and really interesting cloud formations.) While I appreciate that they support these guys (who are some of the best musicians around), it somehow takes some of the fun out of the show for me.
(And can someone please explain the beard thing to me? There were dozens of guys there with really scraggly beards. I know Kansas is behind the fashion curve but I was confused as to what decade I was supposed to be in. Now if you want to know what’s hip, check out Starzan Tees: where not doing the required reading is a prerequisite for cool.)
It was a good show but not a blowaway one. Liberty Hall never seems to mike them correctly, which has to be tough given that they only use pick up mikes and they have four vocalists. They’ve always sounded tinny in that place. It’s still amazing to see these guys go at it at full throttle. They are a bluegrass band made up of a bunch of young guys and they play like they’re in a punk band. Plus, one guy plays a guitjo and he does it extremely seriously, possibly because playing a guitjo (which is part guitar, part banjo) is nearly impossible without growing a third arm. Check them out, put them in your Pandora playlist, the usual drill.
That’s about it. I’ll have my thoughts on the new Damien Rice disc next week. My first thought is you have to listen to the song “9 Crimes”. Wow, that’s worth buying the album right there. Until then, I’ll be off on my usual adventures. Have a fun weekend, Go Irish, and may we find a way that both Ohio State and Michigan lose on Saturday.
Wednesday, November 15, 2006
Waiting for Zelda (the other one...)
Sometimes I wonder if it will ever be possible for me to write a novel given that what I am best at is just listing a whole bunch of random ideas. Maybe I’ll just pitch it as a breakthrough in the field of stream of consciousness writing and convince critics that this is the greatest advance in literature since the days of Joyce and Beckett. Not sure how I’ll be able to spin the Speed Racer references into something meaningful, though….
1) Contrary to popular opinion, this is not being written while waiting in line outside of a Best Buy as I attempt to purchase both a Playstation 3 and a Nintendo Wii. That’s because I’m no longer a teenager whose entire life revolves around video games. I’m now an adult whose entire life revolves around video games who can hire teenagers to wait in line for me. Hey, if outsourcing works for companies it can work for me as well. My early analysis, skip out on getting a PS3 unless you desperately want a Blu-Ray DVD player. Not many games, too high of a cost, and it’s just not going to be worth what they’ll be going for on eBay. The Wii, on the other hand, might actually be the first Nintendo system that I will be tempted to buy. The Wiimote is the first innovation in gaming that I’ve seen in ages and it just looks super cool. To the point that I’m willing to freeze myself in order to make waiting for its launch go faster.
2) Yeah, a South Park reference. I am so trying to use the phrase “Science H. Logic” in everyday conversation. I don’t really care if anyone gets it. I just want to say things like “Science be praised” and “Logic help us” around the office in an attempt to get in trouble for free speech once again.
3) Frightening statistic I learned while writing the blog this week: Do you know how many copies of the 4 Non Blondes album was sold? 5 million. I shit you not. This is an album that consists of only one song, I dare you to name another one. Yet this still went quintuple platinum. I know I argue about the long tail and the death of the big hit and how that might be a bad thing but in cases like this I have to admit, knocking a few million album sales off of that one would make the world a better place.
4) Remember when I talked about being in New Orleans and meeting the other volunteers and feeling like I was the worst person on the planet because I worked in an office selling widgets while they all seemed to be trying to save the world? Well, it’s nice to know that whenever I feel that way I can always turn to O.J. to be reassured that while my life may not be as noble as it could be, I’m definitely not at the tail end of the list. I’m not sure how you could have the gall to write a book called “Theoretically, if I wanted to kill my ex-wife and a random acquaintance who happened to be there at the time this is the exact methodology I would have utilized.” I’m not sure how Fox could bring themselves to air this. It makes “When Animals Attack” look nuanced.
5) Kansas lost to Oral Roberts tonight. At home. I’m not sure how to explain it, other than maybe the Jayhawks looked at the calendar and thought that it was March already. (Ooh, too soon?) I’ve watched a little of my Blue Devils and, uh, I think it might be a long season. I think they’re ranked 11th because of the name on the front of the jersey and not the ones on the back. I just have a feeling that their games are not going to be must see tv for me.
1) Contrary to popular opinion, this is not being written while waiting in line outside of a Best Buy as I attempt to purchase both a Playstation 3 and a Nintendo Wii. That’s because I’m no longer a teenager whose entire life revolves around video games. I’m now an adult whose entire life revolves around video games who can hire teenagers to wait in line for me. Hey, if outsourcing works for companies it can work for me as well. My early analysis, skip out on getting a PS3 unless you desperately want a Blu-Ray DVD player. Not many games, too high of a cost, and it’s just not going to be worth what they’ll be going for on eBay. The Wii, on the other hand, might actually be the first Nintendo system that I will be tempted to buy. The Wiimote is the first innovation in gaming that I’ve seen in ages and it just looks super cool. To the point that I’m willing to freeze myself in order to make waiting for its launch go faster.
2) Yeah, a South Park reference. I am so trying to use the phrase “Science H. Logic” in everyday conversation. I don’t really care if anyone gets it. I just want to say things like “Science be praised” and “Logic help us” around the office in an attempt to get in trouble for free speech once again.
3) Frightening statistic I learned while writing the blog this week: Do you know how many copies of the 4 Non Blondes album was sold? 5 million. I shit you not. This is an album that consists of only one song, I dare you to name another one. Yet this still went quintuple platinum. I know I argue about the long tail and the death of the big hit and how that might be a bad thing but in cases like this I have to admit, knocking a few million album sales off of that one would make the world a better place.
4) Remember when I talked about being in New Orleans and meeting the other volunteers and feeling like I was the worst person on the planet because I worked in an office selling widgets while they all seemed to be trying to save the world? Well, it’s nice to know that whenever I feel that way I can always turn to O.J. to be reassured that while my life may not be as noble as it could be, I’m definitely not at the tail end of the list. I’m not sure how you could have the gall to write a book called “Theoretically, if I wanted to kill my ex-wife and a random acquaintance who happened to be there at the time this is the exact methodology I would have utilized.” I’m not sure how Fox could bring themselves to air this. It makes “When Animals Attack” look nuanced.
5) Kansas lost to Oral Roberts tonight. At home. I’m not sure how to explain it, other than maybe the Jayhawks looked at the calendar and thought that it was March already. (Ooh, too soon?) I’ve watched a little of my Blue Devils and, uh, I think it might be a long season. I think they’re ranked 11th because of the name on the front of the jersey and not the ones on the back. I just have a feeling that their games are not going to be must see tv for me.
Tuesday, November 14, 2006
Cleaning out the cobwebs...
What’s bouncing around my noggin right about now…
1) Writing about Big Country and Men at Work last night made me think about what I consider to be the most underrated band in history: Midnight Oil. Talk about a band that played with passion. Every single song seemed to be focused on changing the world. They played message songs a lot less heavy handed than U2 (ok, slightly heavy handed but at least they weren’t waving flags around during their stage show). If their lead singer looked more like Bono and less like a zombie they probably would be selling out arenas to this day. Hell, if their lead singer looked like Rob Zombie they’d probably be selling out shows left and right. They deserve more than being a footnote in music history.
2) Music history is a very strange little subject. Some bands are forgotten for selling no records while others are considered icons in the industry while selling nothing in the process. No one actually bought a Stooges record, it was just great seeing Iggy Pop live. People talk about Joy Division and the Replacements with awe but at the time they could barely get noticed outside of a small underground following. I’m not saying that Hootie and the Blowfish were better, just that building a musical legacy is a crapshoot.
3) Caught a bit of Dan Rather’s new show on HD-Net. There are certain people who should not be broadcast in high definition and Dan Rather is on the list. Not saying that I would look much better, seeing my acne (which will go away when I finish puberty, or so I’ve been told) transmitted across the nation in digital quality. The weird thing about high definition is that it seems more real than real life. I mentioned before watching Tift Merritt in high def to see what she looks like, which is insane because I stood right in front of her and talked to her for a few minutes one night. Somehow seeing her on tv felt more real though. Wow, that probably needs to be added to my list of “most depressing things I’ve ever written”.
4) How I Met Your Mother update: The show seems to be regaining its footing, though it still hasn’t hit the level it was at last year. Marshall and Lilly are back together, which was necessary from a story point of view. It was either that or get rid of Allyson Hannigan and I would be greatly depressed if that happened. It’s just a matter of time before Ted and Robin break up and here is my prediction on how it will occur. (Note: I haven’t read any spoilers, I just think I understand how plots work). Robin will over the course of the year begin to think more and more about settling down and starting a family while Ted becomes more involved with the skyscraper that he is designing. In the end Robin will give a “it’s the building or me” ultimatum and the building will win. Ted will then spend a couple of episodes depressed until he finally meets his dream woman (in my plot, a returning Victoria only because she was awesome.)
5) Two great moments in the show over the last two weeks. Number one: Ted explaining to Marshall how to ask a girl out “Hands in your pockets, shoulders slightly slumped, looking upwards in a manner of shy sensitivity.” It’s worked occasionally. And this week in Atlantic City with Barney playing the most bizarre poker game imaginable culminating with Marshall yelling “Split your tiles, if you find the jelly bean you’ll triple your money.” It’s funnier on tv.
1) Writing about Big Country and Men at Work last night made me think about what I consider to be the most underrated band in history: Midnight Oil. Talk about a band that played with passion. Every single song seemed to be focused on changing the world. They played message songs a lot less heavy handed than U2 (ok, slightly heavy handed but at least they weren’t waving flags around during their stage show). If their lead singer looked more like Bono and less like a zombie they probably would be selling out arenas to this day. Hell, if their lead singer looked like Rob Zombie they’d probably be selling out shows left and right. They deserve more than being a footnote in music history.
2) Music history is a very strange little subject. Some bands are forgotten for selling no records while others are considered icons in the industry while selling nothing in the process. No one actually bought a Stooges record, it was just great seeing Iggy Pop live. People talk about Joy Division and the Replacements with awe but at the time they could barely get noticed outside of a small underground following. I’m not saying that Hootie and the Blowfish were better, just that building a musical legacy is a crapshoot.
3) Caught a bit of Dan Rather’s new show on HD-Net. There are certain people who should not be broadcast in high definition and Dan Rather is on the list. Not saying that I would look much better, seeing my acne (which will go away when I finish puberty, or so I’ve been told) transmitted across the nation in digital quality. The weird thing about high definition is that it seems more real than real life. I mentioned before watching Tift Merritt in high def to see what she looks like, which is insane because I stood right in front of her and talked to her for a few minutes one night. Somehow seeing her on tv felt more real though. Wow, that probably needs to be added to my list of “most depressing things I’ve ever written”.
4) How I Met Your Mother update: The show seems to be regaining its footing, though it still hasn’t hit the level it was at last year. Marshall and Lilly are back together, which was necessary from a story point of view. It was either that or get rid of Allyson Hannigan and I would be greatly depressed if that happened. It’s just a matter of time before Ted and Robin break up and here is my prediction on how it will occur. (Note: I haven’t read any spoilers, I just think I understand how plots work). Robin will over the course of the year begin to think more and more about settling down and starting a family while Ted becomes more involved with the skyscraper that he is designing. In the end Robin will give a “it’s the building or me” ultimatum and the building will win. Ted will then spend a couple of episodes depressed until he finally meets his dream woman (in my plot, a returning Victoria only because she was awesome.)
5) Two great moments in the show over the last two weeks. Number one: Ted explaining to Marshall how to ask a girl out “Hands in your pockets, shoulders slightly slumped, looking upwards in a manner of shy sensitivity.” It’s worked occasionally. And this week in Atlantic City with Barney playing the most bizarre poker game imaginable culminating with Marshall yelling “Split your tiles, if you find the jelly bean you’ll triple your money.” It’s funnier on tv.
Monday, November 13, 2006
Musical Guilty Pleasures
(How neglected is my MySpace page? I couldn’t even remember the link correctly when I built the Friends of the Blog. That’s since been corrected, along with a few other additions. Just another step into turning this blog into a worldwide internet portal.)
While listening to Pandora today a song came on that I love but that my enjoyment of the song pretty much means that I should tear up my music critic membership card. I thought that I’d list some of these guilty pleasures. None of these songs are considered critical masterpieces but I guarantee you’ll be singing them for the rest of the day.
Big Country “In a Big Country”: This is the one that caused all of this. Some bands name their first album after themselves. Big Country took it further and named their first single after the band. I still think this song is one of the best ever even though it consists of only eight lines and probably half of those contradict the other half. But it had a really funky guitar line that was mixed to sound like bagpipes and was sung with such passion you really felt that declaring it a Big Country was the most important point one could make in the world. Also, watching the video as a kid made me want to be a musician in that it implied being in a band involved riding in boats, deep sea diving and racing across the countryside in ATV’s. Like learning to play guitar automatically earned you the right to be a low rent James Bond.
Asia “The Heat of the Moment”: There is no good reason to like Asia. (I mean the band, not the continent. I’m not that cynical.) Liking the band is basically saying you like bad prog rock and really fancy album covers. But for some reason you can’t really question how cool this song is. I don’t even know if you could say that it sounds two decades old. More like it’s one of those songs where you immediately sing along with the chorus. (Question: Am I right in remembering this video as having this strange, Raiders of the Lost Ark vibe, going on? Like the band members had to deal with a lot of traps that seemed to be invented by some ancient civilization that was really, really focused on guitars? Or am I thinking about something else?)
Len “Steal My Sunshine”: Look, we are all allowed to have one summer song that we can enjoy regardless of the fact that it seems like it written by the dumbest band ever. I mean, they sampled “More More More” for crying out loud. Plus, if the video was anything to go by, I think the entire song was about going out and buying ice cream. Still, this is one of those bright, happy songs that no one ever believes that I have hidden in my music collection, packed away next to albums that consist entirely of murder ballads.
(Extemporaneous Discussion: Here is the most frightening fact that I learned at work today. Christina Aguilera’s new single was written by Linda Perry. Who is Linda Perry you may ask? Is it Steve Perry after a sex change? Sadly, no, but you do know Linda Perry. Remember the incredibly frightening singer in 4 Non Blondes who sang “What’s Going On”? That’s her (technically, the song was called What’s Up but people only remember the chorus and her even scarier hat). This is who is writing your pop hits. It’s like looking behind the curtain when you see the wizard.)
The New Radicals “You Get What You Give”: I really, really like this song and am constantly bummed when I see it listed as a one hit wonder. Sure, it was the only hit but it seemed to deserve much more than to be included alongside the Macarena and Disco Duck. It was a song that preached rebellion by being silly, as opposed to most bands in the late nineties who seemed to imply that rebellion involved wearing black and cutting yourself. Plus, Danielle Brinsbois was in the band and she was also in Archie Bunker’s Place. Until Soleil Moon Frye starts a band this is the best we can hope for.
Men at Work “Down Under”: The first piece of music that I ever purchased with my own money was a Men at Work cassette. Yeah, that really doesn’t sound impressive. I should lie and say it was Miles Davis’ “Kind of Blue” but give me a break. I was nine. Instead I listened to Australian music that featured more instruments than technically necessary and a sense of humor that seemed to make everything they did a novelty song. Which isn’t fair since they were a good band and memorable. I hope they go down in history for the following. When Sydney was awarded the Summer Olympics in 2000 someone asked the lead singer what he felt this meant. He thought for a second and went, “Guess it means I’ll have to get the band back together.” They knew they were going to be playing at the ceremonies, that they were going to be the de facto theme song, and they figured they might as well sound good doing so. That is when you know you’ve written a good song.
While listening to Pandora today a song came on that I love but that my enjoyment of the song pretty much means that I should tear up my music critic membership card. I thought that I’d list some of these guilty pleasures. None of these songs are considered critical masterpieces but I guarantee you’ll be singing them for the rest of the day.
Big Country “In a Big Country”: This is the one that caused all of this. Some bands name their first album after themselves. Big Country took it further and named their first single after the band. I still think this song is one of the best ever even though it consists of only eight lines and probably half of those contradict the other half. But it had a really funky guitar line that was mixed to sound like bagpipes and was sung with such passion you really felt that declaring it a Big Country was the most important point one could make in the world. Also, watching the video as a kid made me want to be a musician in that it implied being in a band involved riding in boats, deep sea diving and racing across the countryside in ATV’s. Like learning to play guitar automatically earned you the right to be a low rent James Bond.
Asia “The Heat of the Moment”: There is no good reason to like Asia. (I mean the band, not the continent. I’m not that cynical.) Liking the band is basically saying you like bad prog rock and really fancy album covers. But for some reason you can’t really question how cool this song is. I don’t even know if you could say that it sounds two decades old. More like it’s one of those songs where you immediately sing along with the chorus. (Question: Am I right in remembering this video as having this strange, Raiders of the Lost Ark vibe, going on? Like the band members had to deal with a lot of traps that seemed to be invented by some ancient civilization that was really, really focused on guitars? Or am I thinking about something else?)
Len “Steal My Sunshine”: Look, we are all allowed to have one summer song that we can enjoy regardless of the fact that it seems like it written by the dumbest band ever. I mean, they sampled “More More More” for crying out loud. Plus, if the video was anything to go by, I think the entire song was about going out and buying ice cream. Still, this is one of those bright, happy songs that no one ever believes that I have hidden in my music collection, packed away next to albums that consist entirely of murder ballads.
(Extemporaneous Discussion: Here is the most frightening fact that I learned at work today. Christina Aguilera’s new single was written by Linda Perry. Who is Linda Perry you may ask? Is it Steve Perry after a sex change? Sadly, no, but you do know Linda Perry. Remember the incredibly frightening singer in 4 Non Blondes who sang “What’s Going On”? That’s her (technically, the song was called What’s Up but people only remember the chorus and her even scarier hat). This is who is writing your pop hits. It’s like looking behind the curtain when you see the wizard.)
The New Radicals “You Get What You Give”: I really, really like this song and am constantly bummed when I see it listed as a one hit wonder. Sure, it was the only hit but it seemed to deserve much more than to be included alongside the Macarena and Disco Duck. It was a song that preached rebellion by being silly, as opposed to most bands in the late nineties who seemed to imply that rebellion involved wearing black and cutting yourself. Plus, Danielle Brinsbois was in the band and she was also in Archie Bunker’s Place. Until Soleil Moon Frye starts a band this is the best we can hope for.
Men at Work “Down Under”: The first piece of music that I ever purchased with my own money was a Men at Work cassette. Yeah, that really doesn’t sound impressive. I should lie and say it was Miles Davis’ “Kind of Blue” but give me a break. I was nine. Instead I listened to Australian music that featured more instruments than technically necessary and a sense of humor that seemed to make everything they did a novelty song. Which isn’t fair since they were a good band and memorable. I hope they go down in history for the following. When Sydney was awarded the Summer Olympics in 2000 someone asked the lead singer what he felt this meant. He thought for a second and went, “Guess it means I’ll have to get the band back together.” They knew they were going to be playing at the ceremonies, that they were going to be the de facto theme song, and they figured they might as well sound good doing so. That is when you know you’ve written a good song.
Sunday, November 12, 2006
Matters of Habit
(I was able to successfully update my template so that I now have my “Friends of the Blog” section added on the right. This is going to be a collection of links to my friends, part-time advertisers, and some of my favorite spots online. Should help to give people a sense of some of the websites I hit on a regular basis. As always, your mileage may vary.)
It’s strange that I made this a three day weekend and my two major accomplishments were a) cashing in my remaining loose change and b) buying my first pair of corduroys since I was maybe ten. I’m not quite sure what has made me feel so strongly against wearing brown cords. I think it might honestly be because when I broke my leg as a kid I went to the emergency room in brown cords and I blame the pants for the entire event. Yes, you could pretty much trace my lack of style to about a half dozen events in my youth.
(Now, of course, I spend half my time reading men’s magazines and focusing on the clothing sections. I’m at the point where I should just get a subscription to GQ. Or hire someone to be my wardrobe consultant, a concept that I’ve thought a lot about recently. Oh, and the cords are green and look pretty cool.)
And speaking of strange changes in habit, the following struck me on Saturday afternoon. It was while watching the Notre Dame game and since the game was on the most obscure channel ever I was forced to go to a bar to watch the game. Now, that isn’t the worst thing in the world but I prefer watching the game from home, where I don’t have to deal with bad cigar smoke and people not paying attention to the game. Also, the bar showing the game was in Kansas and just on general principle I try not to hang out in bars in Kansas. Just because if you try to order something exotic, like a Rolling Rock, they tend to stare at you blankly until you given in and go “I’ll have a Miller Lite”, which then leads to more blank stares and you end up drinking a Miller. Not a Light or a Genuine Draft or even a Genuine Draft Lite, just a plain old Miller.
(Bars in Lawrence don’t count in this discussion, mainly because I’ve come to the conclusion that Lawrence isn’t technically in Kansas. Or the Midwest, for that matter.)
Anyway, I convinced them to serve me Guinness and it dawned on me that this was the most Guinness that I have drank in a bar in an insanely long time. That’s odd because for the longest time all I would drink was Guinness. I considered it my ultimate drink. You could drink it slow and have a relatively easy night but no one would ever make fun of you because you were drinking a Guinness and it had that dark and mysterious and dangerous edge to it. It served me very well until I moved here and I had a night in which, yeah, I don’t remember much about it. Other than I spent the next day lying on my couch listening to the Nascar race. It’s bad when you are too tired to either a) watch the race, b) turn off the tv or c) change the channel.
So I decided to blame the beer, as opposed to the half a pack of cigarettes or my own stupidity. (This was during the timeframe when people had convinced me that smoking would make me look cool, which makes me the oldest person to ever fall prey to peer pressure. And the only person who started smoking when he was 30.) But I stopped drinking Guinness and moved on to Wheat and on Saturday I was wondering why I had switched in the first place. And that made me wonder just how much of my life is made up of routines that exist for absolutely no purpose. Where I park my car, how I buy groceries, the way I walk around a mall, I have extremely concise patterns for all of these things. But there’s no real reason for them. It’s all due to some small event years ago that I’ve probably forgotten about by now.
There’s a deeper meaning in this but the Bears are playing and I want to catch the end of the game.
The five random CD’s for the week.
1) Iris DeMent “My Life”
2) The New Pornographers “Mass Romantic”
3) Keb’ Mo’ “Slow Down”
4) Hank Williams III “Lovesick, Broke & Driftin’”
5) Kelly Willis “Reason to Believe”
It’s strange that I made this a three day weekend and my two major accomplishments were a) cashing in my remaining loose change and b) buying my first pair of corduroys since I was maybe ten. I’m not quite sure what has made me feel so strongly against wearing brown cords. I think it might honestly be because when I broke my leg as a kid I went to the emergency room in brown cords and I blame the pants for the entire event. Yes, you could pretty much trace my lack of style to about a half dozen events in my youth.
(Now, of course, I spend half my time reading men’s magazines and focusing on the clothing sections. I’m at the point where I should just get a subscription to GQ. Or hire someone to be my wardrobe consultant, a concept that I’ve thought a lot about recently. Oh, and the cords are green and look pretty cool.)
And speaking of strange changes in habit, the following struck me on Saturday afternoon. It was while watching the Notre Dame game and since the game was on the most obscure channel ever I was forced to go to a bar to watch the game. Now, that isn’t the worst thing in the world but I prefer watching the game from home, where I don’t have to deal with bad cigar smoke and people not paying attention to the game. Also, the bar showing the game was in Kansas and just on general principle I try not to hang out in bars in Kansas. Just because if you try to order something exotic, like a Rolling Rock, they tend to stare at you blankly until you given in and go “I’ll have a Miller Lite”, which then leads to more blank stares and you end up drinking a Miller. Not a Light or a Genuine Draft or even a Genuine Draft Lite, just a plain old Miller.
(Bars in Lawrence don’t count in this discussion, mainly because I’ve come to the conclusion that Lawrence isn’t technically in Kansas. Or the Midwest, for that matter.)
Anyway, I convinced them to serve me Guinness and it dawned on me that this was the most Guinness that I have drank in a bar in an insanely long time. That’s odd because for the longest time all I would drink was Guinness. I considered it my ultimate drink. You could drink it slow and have a relatively easy night but no one would ever make fun of you because you were drinking a Guinness and it had that dark and mysterious and dangerous edge to it. It served me very well until I moved here and I had a night in which, yeah, I don’t remember much about it. Other than I spent the next day lying on my couch listening to the Nascar race. It’s bad when you are too tired to either a) watch the race, b) turn off the tv or c) change the channel.
So I decided to blame the beer, as opposed to the half a pack of cigarettes or my own stupidity. (This was during the timeframe when people had convinced me that smoking would make me look cool, which makes me the oldest person to ever fall prey to peer pressure. And the only person who started smoking when he was 30.) But I stopped drinking Guinness and moved on to Wheat and on Saturday I was wondering why I had switched in the first place. And that made me wonder just how much of my life is made up of routines that exist for absolutely no purpose. Where I park my car, how I buy groceries, the way I walk around a mall, I have extremely concise patterns for all of these things. But there’s no real reason for them. It’s all due to some small event years ago that I’ve probably forgotten about by now.
There’s a deeper meaning in this but the Bears are playing and I want to catch the end of the game.
The five random CD’s for the week.
1) Iris DeMent “My Life”
2) The New Pornographers “Mass Romantic”
3) Keb’ Mo’ “Slow Down”
4) Hank Williams III “Lovesick, Broke & Driftin’”
5) Kelly Willis “Reason to Believe”
Thursday, November 09, 2006
The Terrible Twos Begin Tonight!
I have to admit, I am utterly amazed by the following fact. Tonight (well, technically tomorrow but stay with me here) marks my two year anniversary in the blogsphere. Yes, as the ever growing list of past articles shows, it was just after the 2004 presidential election that I decided that my voice must be heard, that I had to propose my plan for a better world, and thus Battling the Current was born. Which then devolved into discussions on such varied topics as Lindsay Lohan, Voltron and dozens of bands that no one has ever heard of. But that’s beside the point. What I want to make abundantly clear is that I am without a doubt a more successful blogger than J.D. Salinger, Emily Bronte and William Shakespeare combined.
(Oh yeah, you can argue that they lacked things like computers and electricity but they’re supposed to be geniuses right? You’d think they could overcome a little hardship and start up a blog.)
Kidding aside, this really does feel like a major accomplishment for me. While I’ve been keeping a writer’s journal (it’s not a diary, damnit) since 1998 I would always hit a patch of one or two months where I wouldn’t write a single world. I’ve never really taken time off from this site, though, outside of when I’ve been out of town. If I’m near a computer I would make time to sit down and write whatever was on my mind. And while not all of it has been brilliance, I’d have to say that at times I’ve been able to make people laugh and think, which is all I’ve ever wanted to accomplish in the world. Given that two years ago I was going to be happy if anyone read it at all I’m proud of what this has become.
Of course, this means that it is time for a celebration and gifts to my faithful readers. And this time, I’m going to let you decide what I should do in honor of this occasion. I could put together Battling the Current Volume 3, another compilation of great music you’ve never heard of. I wouldn’t mind the next one of those being a theme (desert island songs, only drinking songs, whatever else you could think of). I could also make good on my promise of t-shirts but I’ll need to know that there is an actual demand before I make that effort. Or, I could do what I think is the best idea yet. See, I would basically like to buy everyone who reads this a drink since you’ve all essentially sat at the end of the bar with me and listened to my stories for two years. For that you are definitely owed a shot. So, we could set up a time where we all raise a glass and I either personally, or through the wonders of the internet, pay for a round of red headed sluts. Ideas (or better concepts)?
(Oh, and if you don’t have Battling the Current Volumes 1 and 2 and would like them, let me know. It’s the easiest way to understand all of the musical references that I make.)
I’ve got plans for the site as well. I want to increase the multimedia side of things (pictures would be a nice addition). There are some overall design issues that I’ve been putting off for a while that I need to address, mainly putting up a section of my favorite links. And I might move on to Blogger Beta, which would allow for tagging so that you could now get to all of the Forgotten Television Shows and Songbooks in one click. Plus, there is my usual goal of writing better and getting more readers and making the top 200,000 in technorati. Expect to see some upgrades sooner than later.
As always, thanks to everyone who reads this. There is no bigger thrill for me than to check my email and see that people have commented on the blog. It’s gotten me through more than a few rough patches over the past two years. And expect to have much more to read in the months and years ahead. I’m off to celebrate. Quo Vadimus.
(Oh yeah, you can argue that they lacked things like computers and electricity but they’re supposed to be geniuses right? You’d think they could overcome a little hardship and start up a blog.)
Kidding aside, this really does feel like a major accomplishment for me. While I’ve been keeping a writer’s journal (it’s not a diary, damnit) since 1998 I would always hit a patch of one or two months where I wouldn’t write a single world. I’ve never really taken time off from this site, though, outside of when I’ve been out of town. If I’m near a computer I would make time to sit down and write whatever was on my mind. And while not all of it has been brilliance, I’d have to say that at times I’ve been able to make people laugh and think, which is all I’ve ever wanted to accomplish in the world. Given that two years ago I was going to be happy if anyone read it at all I’m proud of what this has become.
Of course, this means that it is time for a celebration and gifts to my faithful readers. And this time, I’m going to let you decide what I should do in honor of this occasion. I could put together Battling the Current Volume 3, another compilation of great music you’ve never heard of. I wouldn’t mind the next one of those being a theme (desert island songs, only drinking songs, whatever else you could think of). I could also make good on my promise of t-shirts but I’ll need to know that there is an actual demand before I make that effort. Or, I could do what I think is the best idea yet. See, I would basically like to buy everyone who reads this a drink since you’ve all essentially sat at the end of the bar with me and listened to my stories for two years. For that you are definitely owed a shot. So, we could set up a time where we all raise a glass and I either personally, or through the wonders of the internet, pay for a round of red headed sluts. Ideas (or better concepts)?
(Oh, and if you don’t have Battling the Current Volumes 1 and 2 and would like them, let me know. It’s the easiest way to understand all of the musical references that I make.)
I’ve got plans for the site as well. I want to increase the multimedia side of things (pictures would be a nice addition). There are some overall design issues that I’ve been putting off for a while that I need to address, mainly putting up a section of my favorite links. And I might move on to Blogger Beta, which would allow for tagging so that you could now get to all of the Forgotten Television Shows and Songbooks in one click. Plus, there is my usual goal of writing better and getting more readers and making the top 200,000 in technorati. Expect to see some upgrades sooner than later.
As always, thanks to everyone who reads this. There is no bigger thrill for me than to check my email and see that people have commented on the blog. It’s gotten me through more than a few rough patches over the past two years. And expect to have much more to read in the months and years ahead. I’m off to celebrate. Quo Vadimus.
Oops I did it again
Looks like I got my prediction wrong last night. The democrats did end up taking control of the senate. That really surprised me, I figured they were going to lose in Virginia and Missouri. Claire won by a decent margin even though I would say that Talent ran better ads. Not better in that they proved his position or anything. Better in that he implied that his opponent was a tax cheat who encouraged the torture of senior citizens while living the high life in Bermuda. Now I wonder what I’ll do now that I won’t have any political ads to watch.
(In the one bright spot for republicans, Heath Shuler was elected to congress. Yes, the QB who you wouldn’t trust holding a clipboard got elected. Based on this, I expect Brett Farve to be elected king of Wisconsin in the next decade.)
But now I am very upset. Here it’s been twenty four hours since the democrats have taken over and is my life better? No. They’re just a bunch of slackers. Plus, now I won’t have as many people to blame with regards to the horrible state of the nation. Life is so much more fun when all you have to do is blame the other guy.
On to more important news, I am still reeling from the Brit-K-Fed story (which is now being referred to as Fed-Ex in a case of humor gone awry). The big development today was that Brit ended their marriage with a text message. That’s got to hurt. I’ve had break-ups through email before, which at least gives you the dignity of knowing that the other person sat down at a keyboard, looked at a screen and typed. Here, she was probably watching Dancing with the Stars and sent “ITS OVER L8R”. It’s tough to feel sorry for K-Fed because, well, the guy’s a friggin douchebag. But still, if you’ve got the phone out you could at least leave a message on his voice mail.
So where does Brit go from here? I’ll stand by my earlier prediction: expect an album in the next six months released to mixed reviews but accompanied by a Playboy shoot emphasizing her new womanly body. It’s pretty much her best option right now. It’s a vague attempt at recreating her image but to be honest, she’s a sideshow right now. Her best course of action is to admit it and make as much money off of it as she can. It’s not like people are waiting for her next single. She can’t even do the Debbie (I mean, Deborah) Gibson career track and star in Les Mis, mainly because that would require talent. Also, I don’t think that Brit would sing back up on a Circle Jerks song. So, we’re looking at Playboy, a couple of bad movies, and the top left square on Hollywood Squares. Still better than Tiffany, I’ll give her that much.
(In the one bright spot for republicans, Heath Shuler was elected to congress. Yes, the QB who you wouldn’t trust holding a clipboard got elected. Based on this, I expect Brett Farve to be elected king of Wisconsin in the next decade.)
But now I am very upset. Here it’s been twenty four hours since the democrats have taken over and is my life better? No. They’re just a bunch of slackers. Plus, now I won’t have as many people to blame with regards to the horrible state of the nation. Life is so much more fun when all you have to do is blame the other guy.
On to more important news, I am still reeling from the Brit-K-Fed story (which is now being referred to as Fed-Ex in a case of humor gone awry). The big development today was that Brit ended their marriage with a text message. That’s got to hurt. I’ve had break-ups through email before, which at least gives you the dignity of knowing that the other person sat down at a keyboard, looked at a screen and typed. Here, she was probably watching Dancing with the Stars and sent “ITS OVER L8R”. It’s tough to feel sorry for K-Fed because, well, the guy’s a friggin douchebag. But still, if you’ve got the phone out you could at least leave a message on his voice mail.
So where does Brit go from here? I’ll stand by my earlier prediction: expect an album in the next six months released to mixed reviews but accompanied by a Playboy shoot emphasizing her new womanly body. It’s pretty much her best option right now. It’s a vague attempt at recreating her image but to be honest, she’s a sideshow right now. Her best course of action is to admit it and make as much money off of it as she can. It’s not like people are waiting for her next single. She can’t even do the Debbie (I mean, Deborah) Gibson career track and star in Les Mis, mainly because that would require talent. Also, I don’t think that Brit would sing back up on a Circle Jerks song. So, we’re looking at Playboy, a couple of bad movies, and the top left square on Hollywood Squares. Still better than Tiffany, I’ll give her that much.
Tuesday, November 07, 2006
Starring Reese Witherspoon and Matthew Broderick...
8:55 P.M.: And coming to you live from the Battling the Current election headquarters it is time for Decision 2006. I’m joined by experts and…ah, who am I kidding. I can’t convince people to come to my Super Bowl party, there’s no way I was going to get people to watch election tallies with me. Just envision me much like Homer Simpson right now, sitting on my couch holding a pennant that reads “Democracy”.
8:57 P.M.: So this will be another experiment in live blogging. I’ll be watching the election returns and giving my insight into the races. It’s like when I cover the Oscars, except with a lot less glamour.
9:00 P.M.: Hey, Ted Kennedy won in Massachusetts! I didn’t even know that he was running. Heck, Ted probably didn’t even know he was running. Probably showed up at the polls this morning and went, “Uh, why is my name on the ballot? Has it been six years already?”
9:02 P.M.: Chocola looks to have lost the Indiana house race. This is only of note because he was the rep for the South Bend district so I got inundated with ads for him two years ago. I always found it funny because I always assumed that he was actually Count Chocola and running on a platform of fiscal responsibility and sugary breakfast cereals for everyone. And I don’t care about those spurious claims made by Boo Berry, I considered him to be an upstanding candidate.
9:06 P.M.: For those wondering, I’m watching the ABC coverage right now. Katie Couric is just too perky for me to handle this late at night and while Brian Williams is a cyborg-in-arms I always get the feeling that he is going to start shooting laser beams from his eyes and killing half the crew. ABC is slightly calmer and features Stephanopolous, who always makes me think of Sesame Street. (I’m watching in high def as well because, ok, there is no reason for this. It just makes the graphics a little nicer.)
9:11 P.M.: I should admit my prejudices up front. I voted the way I always vote: straight ticket democratic and against all judges unless they are Irish. I mean, who the hell do the judges think they are? What gives them the right to tell me what to do? You keep the Irish ones though, just in case you ever need to appear in court. Basically, I just vote the way I was taught to in Chicago civics courses. We were basically taught that the two party system was a crock and that a benign dictatorship was much preferred.
9:21 P.M.: I’ll be bummed for one Republican loss, which is Chaffee from Rhode Island. He was a good, independent minded politician. They threw out an incredible stat, his approval rating is in the sixtieth percentile and he still gets voted out. Really shows that this a referendum on something a lot bigger than a state election.
9:29 P.M.: Speaking about tallies, I watched a bit of VH-1’s Top 100 Songs of the 80’s countdown. I had to turn it off, even though it would have been beneficial for my trivia contests. They listed The Clash’s “London Calling” the 41st best song of the 80’s. I have two issues with this. One is the fact that the song was released in 1979. The other is that if you are making any musical list and include London Calling it is ranked in the single digits. I don’t care if it is a list of wedding polkas, on that list London Calling comes in eighth.
9:32 P.M.: Oh, and a joke I should have made at trivia on Friday. After missing a question on what amendment gave women the right to vote, “I didn’t know they needed a constitutional amendment to let women vote in American Idol?”
9:35 P.M.: Looks like Phil Kline is losing in the Kansas Attorney General race. That would be nice as I’d prefer an Attorney General who, I don’t know, doesn’t break the law every five minutes. Kline is quite possibly the only Attorney General I have ever seen who considers the Constitution to be optional.
9:42 P.M.: I wonder if the other analysts don’t believe that Stephanopolous actually exists. Like maybe he’s just a figment of Charles Gibson’s imagination. (Yeah, I know that Snufflaupagus’ existence is now known by everyone on Sesame Street but in my mind, only Big Bird knows about him. And why I know that and not the names of both senators from Missouri is beyond me.)
9:51 P.M.: Ok, this is getting boring. I’m switching over to Pants Off Dance Off.
9:52 P.M.: Or maybe that should be called, “Dear God, please put your pants back on.”
9:57 P.M.: The view from the couch so far. Democrats will pick up control of the house but are going to just fall short in the senate. Which means a good deal of gridlock for two years. In my mind, that might be an improvement.
9:59 P.M.: Wow, they’ve gone an hour of breaking news coverage and still haven’t talked about the biggest news story of the day. Who cares about a Connecticut house race when Brittney Spears has filed for divorce? Where is the wall to wall coverage of this? I mean, my entire faith in the concept of marriage has been shaken to the core. If Brit and K-Fed can’t live happily ever after what hope do I have? Life is just so unfair.
10:01 P.M.: The Johnson County soccer bonds have been defeated! That will teach those seven year olds a lesson. Start playing real sports. For those not in Kansas, this was a $75M bond issue to build 20 soccer fields. Yes, that is nearly $4M per field. Apparently, nine year olds need domed fields and Jumbotron screens. Jeez, when I was a kid I was happy to have one little league field with lights.
10:04 P.M.: Time for Stewart/Colbert, which will be slightly funnier than the regular coverage.
10:15 P.M.: Hey, we got our first Mondale joke of the evening! One of my favorite moments in the history of politics was at the 1992 Democratic National Convention. At one point, PBS was talking to Mondale, McGovern and Dukakis and asking about how they viewed Clinton’s campaign. I was seriously waiting for one of them to go, “Well, he’s doing the absolute opposite of what I did so I’m pretty sure he’s doing good.”
10:21 P.M.: Checking in on the Illinois results (where I may or may not have voted a half dozen times today. Man, I love political machines.) Blago was reelected governor, beating Julie Barr-Topinka, who is actually from my hometown. As someone born and raised in Berwyn, I feel confident in saying that I really don’t think the governor should come from that town. Hell, I probably shouldn’t be allowed to operate a website after growing up in that town. It’s not that the town is on the wrong side of the tracks, it is that the tracks literally went through my front yard. I’ll assume that Lipinski the Younger also won, nearly twenty years after I won a history contest sponsored by his dad. You want to get my vote? Let me win a hundred dollar savings bond by knowing that John Marshall was a Chief Justice.
10:27 P.M.: Dan Rather just quoted Pink Floyd’s The Wall. “You can’t have your pudding unless you eat your meat.” I should probably stop drinking now.
10:31 P.M.: A marathon commercial reminds me of something. I’ve got to hand it to Lance Armstrong for breaking three hours in the NYC marathon. You have to admit, that guy’s got ball.
10:32 P.M.: Oh, stop groaning. You try being creative after watching Wolf Blitzer’s beard for four hours. Seriously, does that guy ever look in the mirror and go, “Maybe the Santa Claus look just isn’t the best one for me.”
11:04 P.M.: I’m now watching the 1980 All-Star game on ESPN Classic. Yeah, time to call it a night. Or at least take a nap until the rebroadcast of Pants Off Dance Off.
8:57 P.M.: So this will be another experiment in live blogging. I’ll be watching the election returns and giving my insight into the races. It’s like when I cover the Oscars, except with a lot less glamour.
9:00 P.M.: Hey, Ted Kennedy won in Massachusetts! I didn’t even know that he was running. Heck, Ted probably didn’t even know he was running. Probably showed up at the polls this morning and went, “Uh, why is my name on the ballot? Has it been six years already?”
9:02 P.M.: Chocola looks to have lost the Indiana house race. This is only of note because he was the rep for the South Bend district so I got inundated with ads for him two years ago. I always found it funny because I always assumed that he was actually Count Chocola and running on a platform of fiscal responsibility and sugary breakfast cereals for everyone. And I don’t care about those spurious claims made by Boo Berry, I considered him to be an upstanding candidate.
9:06 P.M.: For those wondering, I’m watching the ABC coverage right now. Katie Couric is just too perky for me to handle this late at night and while Brian Williams is a cyborg-in-arms I always get the feeling that he is going to start shooting laser beams from his eyes and killing half the crew. ABC is slightly calmer and features Stephanopolous, who always makes me think of Sesame Street. (I’m watching in high def as well because, ok, there is no reason for this. It just makes the graphics a little nicer.)
9:11 P.M.: I should admit my prejudices up front. I voted the way I always vote: straight ticket democratic and against all judges unless they are Irish. I mean, who the hell do the judges think they are? What gives them the right to tell me what to do? You keep the Irish ones though, just in case you ever need to appear in court. Basically, I just vote the way I was taught to in Chicago civics courses. We were basically taught that the two party system was a crock and that a benign dictatorship was much preferred.
9:21 P.M.: I’ll be bummed for one Republican loss, which is Chaffee from Rhode Island. He was a good, independent minded politician. They threw out an incredible stat, his approval rating is in the sixtieth percentile and he still gets voted out. Really shows that this a referendum on something a lot bigger than a state election.
9:29 P.M.: Speaking about tallies, I watched a bit of VH-1’s Top 100 Songs of the 80’s countdown. I had to turn it off, even though it would have been beneficial for my trivia contests. They listed The Clash’s “London Calling” the 41st best song of the 80’s. I have two issues with this. One is the fact that the song was released in 1979. The other is that if you are making any musical list and include London Calling it is ranked in the single digits. I don’t care if it is a list of wedding polkas, on that list London Calling comes in eighth.
9:32 P.M.: Oh, and a joke I should have made at trivia on Friday. After missing a question on what amendment gave women the right to vote, “I didn’t know they needed a constitutional amendment to let women vote in American Idol?”
9:35 P.M.: Looks like Phil Kline is losing in the Kansas Attorney General race. That would be nice as I’d prefer an Attorney General who, I don’t know, doesn’t break the law every five minutes. Kline is quite possibly the only Attorney General I have ever seen who considers the Constitution to be optional.
9:42 P.M.: I wonder if the other analysts don’t believe that Stephanopolous actually exists. Like maybe he’s just a figment of Charles Gibson’s imagination. (Yeah, I know that Snufflaupagus’ existence is now known by everyone on Sesame Street but in my mind, only Big Bird knows about him. And why I know that and not the names of both senators from Missouri is beyond me.)
9:51 P.M.: Ok, this is getting boring. I’m switching over to Pants Off Dance Off.
9:52 P.M.: Or maybe that should be called, “Dear God, please put your pants back on.”
9:57 P.M.: The view from the couch so far. Democrats will pick up control of the house but are going to just fall short in the senate. Which means a good deal of gridlock for two years. In my mind, that might be an improvement.
9:59 P.M.: Wow, they’ve gone an hour of breaking news coverage and still haven’t talked about the biggest news story of the day. Who cares about a Connecticut house race when Brittney Spears has filed for divorce? Where is the wall to wall coverage of this? I mean, my entire faith in the concept of marriage has been shaken to the core. If Brit and K-Fed can’t live happily ever after what hope do I have? Life is just so unfair.
10:01 P.M.: The Johnson County soccer bonds have been defeated! That will teach those seven year olds a lesson. Start playing real sports. For those not in Kansas, this was a $75M bond issue to build 20 soccer fields. Yes, that is nearly $4M per field. Apparently, nine year olds need domed fields and Jumbotron screens. Jeez, when I was a kid I was happy to have one little league field with lights.
10:04 P.M.: Time for Stewart/Colbert, which will be slightly funnier than the regular coverage.
10:15 P.M.: Hey, we got our first Mondale joke of the evening! One of my favorite moments in the history of politics was at the 1992 Democratic National Convention. At one point, PBS was talking to Mondale, McGovern and Dukakis and asking about how they viewed Clinton’s campaign. I was seriously waiting for one of them to go, “Well, he’s doing the absolute opposite of what I did so I’m pretty sure he’s doing good.”
10:21 P.M.: Checking in on the Illinois results (where I may or may not have voted a half dozen times today. Man, I love political machines.) Blago was reelected governor, beating Julie Barr-Topinka, who is actually from my hometown. As someone born and raised in Berwyn, I feel confident in saying that I really don’t think the governor should come from that town. Hell, I probably shouldn’t be allowed to operate a website after growing up in that town. It’s not that the town is on the wrong side of the tracks, it is that the tracks literally went through my front yard. I’ll assume that Lipinski the Younger also won, nearly twenty years after I won a history contest sponsored by his dad. You want to get my vote? Let me win a hundred dollar savings bond by knowing that John Marshall was a Chief Justice.
10:27 P.M.: Dan Rather just quoted Pink Floyd’s The Wall. “You can’t have your pudding unless you eat your meat.” I should probably stop drinking now.
10:31 P.M.: A marathon commercial reminds me of something. I’ve got to hand it to Lance Armstrong for breaking three hours in the NYC marathon. You have to admit, that guy’s got ball.
10:32 P.M.: Oh, stop groaning. You try being creative after watching Wolf Blitzer’s beard for four hours. Seriously, does that guy ever look in the mirror and go, “Maybe the Santa Claus look just isn’t the best one for me.”
11:04 P.M.: I’m now watching the 1980 All-Star game on ESPN Classic. Yeah, time to call it a night. Or at least take a nap until the rebroadcast of Pants Off Dance Off.
Monday, November 06, 2006
Reviewing the library...
(Before I get started I would just like to remind everyone to get out and vote and kick those bums out of power. Unless of course you would prefer to keep the bastards in charge of this country, in which case I still encourage you to vote but I also then ask that you start working on getting me a housewarming gift for my inevitable move to Sydney. Seriously, can we please inform the worst administration since Millard Fillmore that we think they shouldn’t be allowed to run a little league team, much less a country?)
Anyway, since I’m thinking of updating my DVD library I thought that I might as well list some of the discs that I do have along with my typical cynical comments. It’s not a complete list, but it will give you some insight into some deeper aspect of my personality that you may not have noticed before.
Baseketball: Or maybe not. I still find this movie to be hilarious. That makes me the only one.
Beautiful Girls: Natalie Portman’s incredible portrayal of the insanely intelligent schoolgirl almost makes up for the fact that Rosie O’Donnell plays a major role in this movie. Sadly, Natalie wasn’t a miracle worker at 14.
Glory: This is the first DVD that I ever bought. When you want to test out a new technology always go with a war film. You get explosions, bright lights and great amounts of sound and fury. It helps that this is an incredible movie, especially for a civil war buff.
Star Wars Episodes 1-6: For the record, I didn’t buy the new editions of the original films, which are actually the original films. This means that I own the “Greedo shoots first and there is a completely unnecessary scene with Jabba the Hutt included” version of the films. You know, if Lucas was half as good a filmmaker as he is a businessman the prequels may have been, oh I don’t know, interesting.
The Whit Stillman Trilogy (Metropolitan, Barcelona, and…): Ok, I don’t own Last Days of Disco on DVD yet, even though I have the movie poster hanging in my dining room. It was only vaguely released on DVD and they want like 80 bucks for it and I’m waiting for a rerelease that may never happen. Still, these films contain some of the best dialogue I’ve ever seen in a film. I wish I could write the way these characters talk.
Spider Man 1 and 2: Some say it’s a great comic book movie. I say that any film that features Kirsten Dunst with red hair is a candidate for best film ever.
Bring It On: Ok, or Kirsten Dunst as a cheerleader
The Virgin Suicides: Or Kirsten Dunst as a depressed teenager. But since I also own Lost in Translation, this is more of a case of my being a fan of Sofia Coppola than anything else.
Picnic at Hanging Rock: This is an odd little Australian film that is like Blair Witch long before that flick was even thought of. It’s spellbinding and you never know quite what is going on. The landscape becomes one of the characters as the movie progresses. Quite possibly the best film you have never heard of.
The Richard Linklatter Collection (Slacker, Dazed and Confused, Before Sunrise, Before Sunset, Waking Life): Obviously, I’m a huge fan of Linklatter’s work in all of its idiosyncratic glory. Whether the plotless Slacker or the pick the future star Dazed and Confused, he seems to be the one director who speaks to my generation. Waking Life is easily one of my favorite films, an animated piece about the nature of dreams (just don’t use it as a date movie. Long story. La Femme Nikita worked out better for me.)
Exotica: Within six months there were three strip club movies released. In one, Jesse from Saved by the Bell tried to dance and look sexy and failed miserably. In another, Demi Moore showed that with enough plastic surgery even an older actress can have an opportunity to portray a character with absolutely no acting skills. In Exotica, Mia Kirshner dances to a Leonard Cohen song. Yeah, this movie is pretty freaking cool. (And you can get it at Target for like 8 bucks.)
The Player: I wish I could write here about Altman’s portrayal of the vanity of the movie industry, or his eight minute, no cut, opening shot or even Lyle Lovett’s incredible role as the creepy detective. But mainly I just want to point out that Tim Robbins wears really good suits throughout the entire movie. In a lot of films I’m scouring the credits to see who is on the soundtrack. In this one I’m trying to figure out who was the tailor.
Rudy: I am required by law to own this film. If I don’t, they take back my diploma.
Anyway, since I’m thinking of updating my DVD library I thought that I might as well list some of the discs that I do have along with my typical cynical comments. It’s not a complete list, but it will give you some insight into some deeper aspect of my personality that you may not have noticed before.
Baseketball: Or maybe not. I still find this movie to be hilarious. That makes me the only one.
Beautiful Girls: Natalie Portman’s incredible portrayal of the insanely intelligent schoolgirl almost makes up for the fact that Rosie O’Donnell plays a major role in this movie. Sadly, Natalie wasn’t a miracle worker at 14.
Glory: This is the first DVD that I ever bought. When you want to test out a new technology always go with a war film. You get explosions, bright lights and great amounts of sound and fury. It helps that this is an incredible movie, especially for a civil war buff.
Star Wars Episodes 1-6: For the record, I didn’t buy the new editions of the original films, which are actually the original films. This means that I own the “Greedo shoots first and there is a completely unnecessary scene with Jabba the Hutt included” version of the films. You know, if Lucas was half as good a filmmaker as he is a businessman the prequels may have been, oh I don’t know, interesting.
The Whit Stillman Trilogy (Metropolitan, Barcelona, and…): Ok, I don’t own Last Days of Disco on DVD yet, even though I have the movie poster hanging in my dining room. It was only vaguely released on DVD and they want like 80 bucks for it and I’m waiting for a rerelease that may never happen. Still, these films contain some of the best dialogue I’ve ever seen in a film. I wish I could write the way these characters talk.
Spider Man 1 and 2: Some say it’s a great comic book movie. I say that any film that features Kirsten Dunst with red hair is a candidate for best film ever.
Bring It On: Ok, or Kirsten Dunst as a cheerleader
The Virgin Suicides: Or Kirsten Dunst as a depressed teenager. But since I also own Lost in Translation, this is more of a case of my being a fan of Sofia Coppola than anything else.
Picnic at Hanging Rock: This is an odd little Australian film that is like Blair Witch long before that flick was even thought of. It’s spellbinding and you never know quite what is going on. The landscape becomes one of the characters as the movie progresses. Quite possibly the best film you have never heard of.
The Richard Linklatter Collection (Slacker, Dazed and Confused, Before Sunrise, Before Sunset, Waking Life): Obviously, I’m a huge fan of Linklatter’s work in all of its idiosyncratic glory. Whether the plotless Slacker or the pick the future star Dazed and Confused, he seems to be the one director who speaks to my generation. Waking Life is easily one of my favorite films, an animated piece about the nature of dreams (just don’t use it as a date movie. Long story. La Femme Nikita worked out better for me.)
Exotica: Within six months there were three strip club movies released. In one, Jesse from Saved by the Bell tried to dance and look sexy and failed miserably. In another, Demi Moore showed that with enough plastic surgery even an older actress can have an opportunity to portray a character with absolutely no acting skills. In Exotica, Mia Kirshner dances to a Leonard Cohen song. Yeah, this movie is pretty freaking cool. (And you can get it at Target for like 8 bucks.)
The Player: I wish I could write here about Altman’s portrayal of the vanity of the movie industry, or his eight minute, no cut, opening shot or even Lyle Lovett’s incredible role as the creepy detective. But mainly I just want to point out that Tim Robbins wears really good suits throughout the entire movie. In a lot of films I’m scouring the credits to see who is on the soundtrack. In this one I’m trying to figure out who was the tailor.
Rudy: I am required by law to own this film. If I don’t, they take back my diploma.
Sunday, November 05, 2006
An end of an era...
Topic #1: I think I can add this to the list of signs that you have spent way too much time in one bar. Went out on Saturday night and when I got to the bar my very first reaction wasn’t “Wow, look who is all here” or “I wonder what I should have?” It was “Cool, we got new bar stools! Maybe they’ll let me put my name on one!” The only equivalent story I have is the one night at the Backer when they took the mirror from behind the bar out to be cleaned, which resulted in Super and me staring at the wall for an hour saying things like “Something’s changed” and “This is really freaking me out” and “You never appreciate a mirror until it’s gone”. I think the only reason we changed topics was due to Donna threatening to brain us with a bottle of Jager if we didn’t shut up.
Topic #2: Pretty confident that the biggest news story of the weekend was the revelation that Doogie Howser is gay. I have to say, this one did take me by surprise and there aren’t many Hollywood stories that would do that. I mean, if it was revealed that Tom Cruise had brainwashed Katie Holmes and had her carry a baby that isn’t his, culminating in a staged wedding all in an attempt for Tom to show his manliness I’m pretty sure that my response would be a yawn. But this one made me take a second look.
First off, props to Doogie for being so open and cool about it. If you read the statement it is totally a “No big deal, just figured that I’d get it out there so no one would make an issue of it.” Plus, I think I’ve gained a hell of a lot more respect for him as an actor because he is perfect in the role of Barney, the womanizing, purely evil character on How I Met Your Mother. He pulls that off without a hitch and that’s just impressive. Especially after watching Jason Priestly trying to play a doctor in Love Monkey, which was a challenge because he wasn’t able to convince me that his character was able to read. But yeah, Doogie’s relationship with his video camera toting buddy may now take on a whole deeper level of meaning.
Topic #3: Sufjan Stevens was just insane on Austin City Limits last night. They introduced him as “being a new voice in American folk music”, which would make sense except that I don’t see to many folk acts include five violinists, two cellists, a brass section and the entire band wearing vaguely boy scout looking outfits complete with butterfly wings. Yeah, pretty sure Dylan didn’t look that way before he went electric. From my point of view, Sufjan is the first new artist I’ve heard in ages. Meaning that I don’t have anyone to compare him to, he seems to have created his own genre. That’s not something you find everyday.
Topic #4: Thanks for all of the comments and movie suggestions. I’ll start building a list and posting it and see what people think. I have a sense that I’ll fill in my Gen X collection, especially after watching Kicking and Screaming over the weekend (not the Will Ferrell one, the one about a bunch of guys who had just graduated and have no clue what to do with their lives). I’ll talk about the movie sometime this week, there were two quotes that hit me and I need to figure out how to write about them. But thanks for all the suggestions (Virginia Woolf included. Wow, you can tell that my readership has grown).
The five random CDs for the week
1) Old 97’s “Satellite Rides”
2) Various Artists “Emerald Rock”
3) Chris Mills “The Silver Line”
4) Nirvana “MTV Unplugged in New York”
5) Maggie Walters “Maggie Walters”
Topic #2: Pretty confident that the biggest news story of the weekend was the revelation that Doogie Howser is gay. I have to say, this one did take me by surprise and there aren’t many Hollywood stories that would do that. I mean, if it was revealed that Tom Cruise had brainwashed Katie Holmes and had her carry a baby that isn’t his, culminating in a staged wedding all in an attempt for Tom to show his manliness I’m pretty sure that my response would be a yawn. But this one made me take a second look.
First off, props to Doogie for being so open and cool about it. If you read the statement it is totally a “No big deal, just figured that I’d get it out there so no one would make an issue of it.” Plus, I think I’ve gained a hell of a lot more respect for him as an actor because he is perfect in the role of Barney, the womanizing, purely evil character on How I Met Your Mother. He pulls that off without a hitch and that’s just impressive. Especially after watching Jason Priestly trying to play a doctor in Love Monkey, which was a challenge because he wasn’t able to convince me that his character was able to read. But yeah, Doogie’s relationship with his video camera toting buddy may now take on a whole deeper level of meaning.
Topic #3: Sufjan Stevens was just insane on Austin City Limits last night. They introduced him as “being a new voice in American folk music”, which would make sense except that I don’t see to many folk acts include five violinists, two cellists, a brass section and the entire band wearing vaguely boy scout looking outfits complete with butterfly wings. Yeah, pretty sure Dylan didn’t look that way before he went electric. From my point of view, Sufjan is the first new artist I’ve heard in ages. Meaning that I don’t have anyone to compare him to, he seems to have created his own genre. That’s not something you find everyday.
Topic #4: Thanks for all of the comments and movie suggestions. I’ll start building a list and posting it and see what people think. I have a sense that I’ll fill in my Gen X collection, especially after watching Kicking and Screaming over the weekend (not the Will Ferrell one, the one about a bunch of guys who had just graduated and have no clue what to do with their lives). I’ll talk about the movie sometime this week, there were two quotes that hit me and I need to figure out how to write about them. But thanks for all the suggestions (Virginia Woolf included. Wow, you can tell that my readership has grown).
The five random CDs for the week
1) Old 97’s “Satellite Rides”
2) Various Artists “Emerald Rock”
3) Chris Mills “The Silver Line”
4) Nirvana “MTV Unplugged in New York”
5) Maggie Walters “Maggie Walters”
Thursday, November 02, 2006
Loose change...
Time to close out the week in much the same way I started it, with a lot of random comments that don’t really amount to anything.
For years I always laughed at anyone who used one of those Coinstar machines. You know the ones where you put in a dollar of change and it gives you ninety one cents back. I’m the first person to call lotteries a tax on people who are bad at math but these machines are for people who have no concept of the value of money. Or at least that is what I thought until recently. I found out a few weeks ago that they will give you gift certificates to Amazon instead of cash and in the process not take a nine percent commission for counting your change.
This has been a very important discovery for me as I haven’t cashed in any of the loose change that I’ve accumulated since I moved to this town over three years ago. Given that I live a predominantly cash life this turns into an incredible amount of quarters just lying around the apartment. (Why a cash life? Mainly because I don’t want an itemized credit card statement at the end of the year telling me precisely how much I’ve spent at my favorite bar. I already have one bartender describing me as his vacation fund, I don’t need to know the specifics.) And since I spend a lot of time on Amazon this is a perfect match.
So this leads me to a question that I posed in my monthly report but no one has replied to yet. My main goal is to convert my loose change into a more impressive DVD collection. Here is my question, what are the ten DVD’s that you feel you must have in a collection in order for it to complete? Don’t care about genre or quality, just what do you think are the must-owns. Just post a list in the comments, I want to get an idea of what I should pick up. (True, I might already own some of them so don’t bother listing “Bloodbath: Wrestling’s Greatest Steel Cage Matches” because I already have that one. Hey, don’t look at me that way, I got it as a Christmas present.)
The big celebrity news is that Ryan Phillipe and Reese Witherspoon are getting divorced, which leads to the question, “Wait, they were still married?” This falls into the Chad Lowe-Hillary Swank category of where one wins the Oscar and the other’s career consists mainly of guest spots on ER. You can measure the lifespan of those relationships with a stopwatch. That said, who would’ve thought that a relationship founded on the set of Cruel Intentions would have lasted this long in the first place.
Think that will be it for the week. I’m out of ideas and don’t have any more stories from high school to share at the moment (though if I can ever dig up my prom photo I will post it.) I’m hoping that this weekend will be as interesting as last weekend’s, though this time with a slightly better conclusion. Or it will just turn into a quest to find the Morton Salt girl. As my novel used to be titled, my life really is a sitcom.
For years I always laughed at anyone who used one of those Coinstar machines. You know the ones where you put in a dollar of change and it gives you ninety one cents back. I’m the first person to call lotteries a tax on people who are bad at math but these machines are for people who have no concept of the value of money. Or at least that is what I thought until recently. I found out a few weeks ago that they will give you gift certificates to Amazon instead of cash and in the process not take a nine percent commission for counting your change.
This has been a very important discovery for me as I haven’t cashed in any of the loose change that I’ve accumulated since I moved to this town over three years ago. Given that I live a predominantly cash life this turns into an incredible amount of quarters just lying around the apartment. (Why a cash life? Mainly because I don’t want an itemized credit card statement at the end of the year telling me precisely how much I’ve spent at my favorite bar. I already have one bartender describing me as his vacation fund, I don’t need to know the specifics.) And since I spend a lot of time on Amazon this is a perfect match.
So this leads me to a question that I posed in my monthly report but no one has replied to yet. My main goal is to convert my loose change into a more impressive DVD collection. Here is my question, what are the ten DVD’s that you feel you must have in a collection in order for it to complete? Don’t care about genre or quality, just what do you think are the must-owns. Just post a list in the comments, I want to get an idea of what I should pick up. (True, I might already own some of them so don’t bother listing “Bloodbath: Wrestling’s Greatest Steel Cage Matches” because I already have that one. Hey, don’t look at me that way, I got it as a Christmas present.)
The big celebrity news is that Ryan Phillipe and Reese Witherspoon are getting divorced, which leads to the question, “Wait, they were still married?” This falls into the Chad Lowe-Hillary Swank category of where one wins the Oscar and the other’s career consists mainly of guest spots on ER. You can measure the lifespan of those relationships with a stopwatch. That said, who would’ve thought that a relationship founded on the set of Cruel Intentions would have lasted this long in the first place.
Think that will be it for the week. I’m out of ideas and don’t have any more stories from high school to share at the moment (though if I can ever dig up my prom photo I will post it.) I’m hoping that this weekend will be as interesting as last weekend’s, though this time with a slightly better conclusion. Or it will just turn into a quest to find the Morton Salt girl. As my novel used to be titled, my life really is a sitcom.
Wednesday, November 01, 2006
Yep, I was All-State in high school...
Earlier this week I joked about making up math pick-up lines back in high school when I spent too many weekends spent in math contests. There are a lot of stories to tell on that topic and one that no one will believe. That will be tonight’s topic, even though it breaks the first rule of Math Club in that you do not talk about Math Club.
Let’s flashback to my high school years. The younger EC doesn’t have the beer belly and wears even klunkier glasses and is less confident but also more oblivious, which in a strange way evens itself out. This made me an obvious candidate for the Math Club. However, as someone who hung out with the athletes and enjoyed music I was simultaneously the best math student and too cool for Math Club. Ok, maybe saying that I was too cool for Math Club isn’t that impressive of a statement but what I’m trying to get to here is that I didn’t look forward to solving equations after school and spending weekends in contests.
See, that was basically the entire purpose of Math Club. A few times a year you would go off on a Saturday to another school and compete against all these other schools in math. Like you would sit in a classroom, be handed a test and answer all of these questions. Incredibly, I was doing this in my free time. Theoretically it was to help me get into college but to be honest even I thought it was nuts. Basically it would turn into my buddy Shamus and I cracking jokes and ripping on every other purpose in the room (despite the fact that we were both two skinny white kids with glasses who could recite every line from Monty Python by heart).
Well, in my senior year I enter my last regional contest and ended up being one of the highest scores for my region. This meant that I was able to attend the big contest. Yes, arguably my biggest accomplishment in high school was I made the state tournament in math.
(Sigh. Is there a way to say that I was an All-State Mathalete and not sound like the biggest loser on the planet? It’d be easier to say that I spent four years of high school stealing hubcaps.)
Anyway, so my dad drives to me the state tournament at ISU. I’m the only person from my school to qualify so I’m a team of one, dressed in my usual attire of jeans and a Duke basketball t-shirt. In this crowd that stood out. Because these guys had team uniforms. Yes, the math teams all had matching outfits with cute math related sayings on them. Those that didn’t have uniforms were wearing Mathematica t-shirts with pictures of funky geometric shapes on them. I looked around the hall where everyone gathered for the opening ceremonies and I immediately thought a) these people are all freaks and b) I’m probably the only one with a date for prom in this entire room.
It got worse. They go through the welcome and the instructions and then it was time to sing the ICTM State Math Contest Song. In the words of Henry Rollins, I shit you not. Here, reprinted without anyone’s permission, are the lyrics to the ICTM State Math Contest Song.
“It’s the ICTM State Math Contest
And it’s sponsored by CNA
Algebra, Calculators, Pythagoras,
Problem solving all the way.
It’s the ICTM State Math Contest
Great questions for challenge and play
Stimulation for students, ideas for teachers,
Illinois it’s a glorious day.
Illinois it’s a glorious day.
Illinois it’s a glorious day.”
Ok, so here I am. It’s a Saturday morning. I’m somewhere in Normal, Illinois. I’m surrounded by people speaking in math puns and singing, with full enthusiasm usually reserved for a Slayer concert, a song with the words Pythagoras in it. I wasn’t psyched to win the contest. I wanted to flee the room. I expected to start to hear them chant “One of us. One of us” at any moment.
So needless to say I didn’t win. And I’m really, really proud of that fact. And while I hope that my kids will inherit my problem solving ability I also really hope that they get my love for books as well. Because, well, you can talk about poetry and seem cool. But singing about calculators? My lord, even on my geekiest day I can’t come close to touching that one.
(Side note: the reason I have the lyrics is that I kept the program from that day. I don’t know what is more disturbing, that I kept the program from a math contest that I was in fifteen years ago or that I found it in only three minutes. Apparently I do have every aspect of my life in one large, organized file.)
Let’s flashback to my high school years. The younger EC doesn’t have the beer belly and wears even klunkier glasses and is less confident but also more oblivious, which in a strange way evens itself out. This made me an obvious candidate for the Math Club. However, as someone who hung out with the athletes and enjoyed music I was simultaneously the best math student and too cool for Math Club. Ok, maybe saying that I was too cool for Math Club isn’t that impressive of a statement but what I’m trying to get to here is that I didn’t look forward to solving equations after school and spending weekends in contests.
See, that was basically the entire purpose of Math Club. A few times a year you would go off on a Saturday to another school and compete against all these other schools in math. Like you would sit in a classroom, be handed a test and answer all of these questions. Incredibly, I was doing this in my free time. Theoretically it was to help me get into college but to be honest even I thought it was nuts. Basically it would turn into my buddy Shamus and I cracking jokes and ripping on every other purpose in the room (despite the fact that we were both two skinny white kids with glasses who could recite every line from Monty Python by heart).
Well, in my senior year I enter my last regional contest and ended up being one of the highest scores for my region. This meant that I was able to attend the big contest. Yes, arguably my biggest accomplishment in high school was I made the state tournament in math.
(Sigh. Is there a way to say that I was an All-State Mathalete and not sound like the biggest loser on the planet? It’d be easier to say that I spent four years of high school stealing hubcaps.)
Anyway, so my dad drives to me the state tournament at ISU. I’m the only person from my school to qualify so I’m a team of one, dressed in my usual attire of jeans and a Duke basketball t-shirt. In this crowd that stood out. Because these guys had team uniforms. Yes, the math teams all had matching outfits with cute math related sayings on them. Those that didn’t have uniforms were wearing Mathematica t-shirts with pictures of funky geometric shapes on them. I looked around the hall where everyone gathered for the opening ceremonies and I immediately thought a) these people are all freaks and b) I’m probably the only one with a date for prom in this entire room.
It got worse. They go through the welcome and the instructions and then it was time to sing the ICTM State Math Contest Song. In the words of Henry Rollins, I shit you not. Here, reprinted without anyone’s permission, are the lyrics to the ICTM State Math Contest Song.
“It’s the ICTM State Math Contest
And it’s sponsored by CNA
Algebra, Calculators, Pythagoras,
Problem solving all the way.
It’s the ICTM State Math Contest
Great questions for challenge and play
Stimulation for students, ideas for teachers,
Illinois it’s a glorious day.
Illinois it’s a glorious day.
Illinois it’s a glorious day.”
Ok, so here I am. It’s a Saturday morning. I’m somewhere in Normal, Illinois. I’m surrounded by people speaking in math puns and singing, with full enthusiasm usually reserved for a Slayer concert, a song with the words Pythagoras in it. I wasn’t psyched to win the contest. I wanted to flee the room. I expected to start to hear them chant “One of us. One of us” at any moment.
So needless to say I didn’t win. And I’m really, really proud of that fact. And while I hope that my kids will inherit my problem solving ability I also really hope that they get my love for books as well. Because, well, you can talk about poetry and seem cool. But singing about calculators? My lord, even on my geekiest day I can’t come close to touching that one.
(Side note: the reason I have the lyrics is that I kept the program from that day. I don’t know what is more disturbing, that I kept the program from a math contest that I was in fifteen years ago or that I found it in only three minutes. Apparently I do have every aspect of my life in one large, organized file.)
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