Waiting for Zelda (the other one...)

Sometimes I wonder if it will ever be possible for me to write a novel given that what I am best at is just listing a whole bunch of random ideas. Maybe I’ll just pitch it as a breakthrough in the field of stream of consciousness writing and convince critics that this is the greatest advance in literature since the days of Joyce and Beckett. Not sure how I’ll be able to spin the Speed Racer references into something meaningful, though….

1) Contrary to popular opinion, this is not being written while waiting in line outside of a Best Buy as I attempt to purchase both a Playstation 3 and a Nintendo Wii. That’s because I’m no longer a teenager whose entire life revolves around video games. I’m now an adult whose entire life revolves around video games who can hire teenagers to wait in line for me. Hey, if outsourcing works for companies it can work for me as well. My early analysis, skip out on getting a PS3 unless you desperately want a Blu-Ray DVD player. Not many games, too high of a cost, and it’s just not going to be worth what they’ll be going for on eBay. The Wii, on the other hand, might actually be the first Nintendo system that I will be tempted to buy. The Wiimote is the first innovation in gaming that I’ve seen in ages and it just looks super cool. To the point that I’m willing to freeze myself in order to make waiting for its launch go faster.

2) Yeah, a South Park reference. I am so trying to use the phrase “Science H. Logic” in everyday conversation. I don’t really care if anyone gets it. I just want to say things like “Science be praised” and “Logic help us” around the office in an attempt to get in trouble for free speech once again.

3) Frightening statistic I learned while writing the blog this week: Do you know how many copies of the 4 Non Blondes album was sold? 5 million. I shit you not. This is an album that consists of only one song, I dare you to name another one. Yet this still went quintuple platinum. I know I argue about the long tail and the death of the big hit and how that might be a bad thing but in cases like this I have to admit, knocking a few million album sales off of that one would make the world a better place.

4) Remember when I talked about being in New Orleans and meeting the other volunteers and feeling like I was the worst person on the planet because I worked in an office selling widgets while they all seemed to be trying to save the world? Well, it’s nice to know that whenever I feel that way I can always turn to O.J. to be reassured that while my life may not be as noble as it could be, I’m definitely not at the tail end of the list. I’m not sure how you could have the gall to write a book called “Theoretically, if I wanted to kill my ex-wife and a random acquaintance who happened to be there at the time this is the exact methodology I would have utilized.” I’m not sure how Fox could bring themselves to air this. It makes “When Animals Attack” look nuanced.

5) Kansas lost to Oral Roberts tonight. At home. I’m not sure how to explain it, other than maybe the Jayhawks looked at the calendar and thought that it was March already. (Ooh, too soon?) I’ve watched a little of my Blue Devils and, uh, I think it might be a long season. I think they’re ranked 11th because of the name on the front of the jersey and not the ones on the back. I just have a feeling that their games are not going to be must see tv for me.