Tuesday, November 28, 2006

Life, Liberty and Enchiladas

My biggest challenge in writing a novel: apparently it is bad form to write a novel in bullet point form.

Topic # 1: Like probably ninety percent of the people who read this blog, I drive past a Taco Bell on the way to work every morning. I’ve noticed recently that they fly flags over the Taco Bell. Not the American flag or the Kansas flag (which features wheat and the state motto “Darwin was a moron”). No, they are flying the tricolors of Taco Bell Nation. I am really concerned about this as it leads to the possibility of all of the Taco Bells of the world joining up and declaring themselves a sovereign land of five and only five ingredients. They would probably have one of the largest militaries in the world, though you’d only have to wait until they turned thirty and started to suffer weekly heart attacks to defeat them.

Topic # 2: To my neverending amazement, Pandora alternately understands my musical tastes and misses by such a margin that it disturbs me. On the positive side, it intuitively knew that I needed to listen to Matthew Sweet today. However, it also wanted me to listen to Shakira and this scares me. I don’t want to listen to Shakira, I don’t want to know what Shakira sounds like and I don’t know how anything in my playlist would lead you to think that Shakira would be up my alley. It’s a great way to do streaming radio, if only for the WTF moments that arise.

Topic # 3: Oh, and my new notebook complaint related to Pandora. My new laptop has a digital volume control meaning that the sound is either off or really, really loud. The old one I could control so that I could wear headphones but still hear everything going on behind me. Now, it’s just me and the music and even that is too loud. This isn’t an item I can officially complain about though. Can’t really tell your boss that you don’t like your new laptop because it isn’t as good at playing CDs as the old one.

Topic # 4: Has anyone else noticed the new commercials for Mel Gibson’s “Apocalyptico”? They are actually promoting it by showing Mel and having him talk about the film. Given that he is persona non grata in Hollywood right now I wonder if this means that even the voice over guy they use for every trailer won’t work for him. When the “In a world…” guy doesn’t even take the paycheck, you’re in trouble. Plus, I don’t know how you promote a film about a pre-Columbian civilization performed in dead languages with subtitles. Maybe the tagline could be “Want to have other people think you are intelligent and arty? Watch this film. Or, at least realize that the seats are really comfy and the theater is air conditioned so you can take a nice nap. Or you could act like a teenager and make out during the film. Not like anyone is going to quiz you on plot details or anything.”

Topic # 5: I know I spent much of last week ranting about how How I Met Your Mother was stealing aspects of my life for their plot lines. Not that I want to continue that train of thought but Marshall was wearing a Notre Dame t-shirt for no reason whatsoever last night. I’m just saying…

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