TV on the radio...

Even more thoughts in search of a theme…

1) Best new video game on the market: Coming to you from Rockstar games (the makers of the Grand Theft Auto series) it’s Table Tennis for the Xbox 360. I swear I am not making this up. It’s ping pong in beautiful high definition with fully realized character modeling to the point that you can see the sweat stains on their shirts grow as the match progresses. Which doesn’t change the fact that you are still playing ping-pong on a computer, something that wasn’t that much fun when it was called Pong in the first place. It wasn’t the graphics that needed an upgrade, it was the game of ping pong that needed an upgrade. And how can Rockstar make a game that doesn’t include prostitutes? Somehow the world’s oldest profession and table tennis seems to be a perfect match to me.

2) Best new television show: Pants Off Dance Off on Fuse. They play a popular video in the background and a contestant dances and strips to the song. Once again, I am no where near creative enough to make this up. You really do have average people, very average people, people you really do not want to watch dance or strip, in front of a blue screen bouncing around and trying to be sexy. To say that it is something that you can’t take your eyes off of is an understatement. True, you then want to stick skewers into your eyes but you still can’t take your eyes off of it. Best name for a show in a long time as well.

3) On ABC this evening they showed four straight episodes of According to Jim. I am very confident that while this is not in violation of the new obscenity codes it is certainly in violation of the Geneva Convention. That has to pass the international standard for torture. Incredibly, someone somewhere must actually watch that show. With a hundred digital cable channels available they decide that a bad Jim Belushi sitcom that was past its prime during its pilot episode is the best entertainment choice.

4) It might surprise some people that I am not watching the new season of Queer Eye. It is probably more surprising that there is a new season, given that it is a show that completely disappeared from the cultural radar. Think about it, three years ago it was the biggest show going with everyone going bonkers over guys finally having a show in which they are given advice on how to improve themselves. But, they got overexposed and got too fancy with what they were doing. We didn’t need an entire Texas themed month featuring a frat house makeover. We don’t need weddings and engagements and other themed shows. We really want to see funny twentysomething dudes in messy apartments with no sense of style turning themselves around. That is what made the first few episodes awesome and what has been missing recently.

5) And yeah, I could still use the advice. Admittedly, I don’t need the Home Décor guy and I just need the Food part of Food and Drink. However, I could use the help in finding t-shirts that do not have the names of schools on them or advice on how to properly shave (though the Gillette Fusion with its five blades is surprisingly effective and terrifying at the same time). I don’t know if it is a good or bad thing that I would no longer qualify to be on the show.