Degrees that don't pay

Monday Weigh In: Back at 209 pounds. I’m going to try to start working out and dieting in earnest now if only to keep my mind off of other matters. I am pretty sick of carrying this extra twenty pounds and need to get it off before I attend several weddings, including my own.

Some people may have seen this on Yahoo today (well, those four people other than me who still use Yahoo) but they listed the ten worst paying college degrees. I find this list fascinating as these are the people who were having a great time in college while I was sitting in a lab setting fire to electric circuitry. Let’s see who was at the bar while I was building transistors…

10: Drama: Not too much of a surprise here as this is essentially a degree labeled “waitperson in training.” I’ll always give someone credit for following their dream of wanting to be an actor but most of them will be lucky to eek out a living in local productions. As a rule, professions that most people would consider to be fun don’t pay very well.

9: Fine Arts: Outside of the possibility of appearing on Project Runway this degree may be even less useful than drama. And I know a lot of people who went to art school and are universally the coolest and smartest people I know. However, there just isn’t much day to day requirement for sculpture or abstract painting. Again, engrossing field without much of a market.

8: Hospitality and Tourism: I didn’t even know that you could major in this. To be honest, I’m not sure what classes would comprise such a major. Are there classes to be Julie on the Love Boat? Or Isaac for that matter? Somebody please explain to me what this major entails other than showing Midwestern tourists where the extra towels are.

7: Education and 2: Elementary Education: Sigh. Want to know why we have a screwed up education system in this country? Look no further. I really would like to be a teacher someday. Heck, I wouldn’t mind being a teacher right now. I could teach math, physics or even English and enjoy every single moment of it. But the fact is I can make so much more money working in the private sector that it can’t make me cross that threshold. If you want to improve the education system you have to make it so that people like me will decide that it is in our best interest to be teachers as oppose to constantly bitch about the poor state of the education system.

6: Horticulture: In the wise words of my idol Dorothy Parker “You can lead a horticulture but you can’t make her use it.” Again, this is another major that I was completely unaware of as it is essentially majoring in gardening. We’re not talking agricultural degrees, which are useful and valuable, but rather just being good at flower arranging. I’ll mock them now given that two decades ago they were mocking me.

5: Spanish: Ok, this one confuses me. I can see a lot of opportunities to utilize a Spanish major besides being a high school teacher (see education rant.) Minor (or double major) in business and you open yourself up for all sorts of opportunities in working with Latin America. Even just working as a translator would be valuable. Of all the degrees on this list this is the one that I did not expect to find here.

4: Music: Back in the dark ages when I was in college I knew this girl whose goal in life was to be a grade school band teacher. She explained to me how fulfilling it would be to teach kids music and instill in them the love of music at a young age. Now, given that I am a guy who still holds the dream of having a book in Barnes and Noble I really shouldn’t make fun of other people’s dreams. But to me that was just setting the bar too low for life. You’re 19, shouldn’t your goal in life be just a little higher. Like being a high school band director?

3: Theology: As someone who knows theology majors I always say that while they do not make much money they are given the inside information as to how to reach heaven. I figure that has to be worth a bit more than my annual bonus.

1: Social Work: Guess this finishes off the list of majors and fields where you actually help people but make absolutely no money for doing so. It is just the way our priorities lie as a civilization. You can help people and be poor or be a money grubbing scumbag and be rich. Sigh once more.

The five random CDs for the week:
1) Buddy Miller “Midnight and Lonesome”
2) Julie Miller “Broken Things”
3) Beth Orton “Trailer Park”
4) The Brunettes “Structures and Cosmetics”
5) The Saw Doctors “Songs from Sun Street”