The level of courtesy required

I'm not sure what the following story says about me or society in general. I have been wondering lately if I have gotten a touch too cynical, or at least very dark-hearted about the world around me. Maybe this story explains where my head is at.

I've mentioned before that I now live in a high rise apartment. As a result, this is the first time in my life where I live in a building where I have to take an elevator on a daily basis. I didn't even have to do that in my dorm at college. This does force me into a fair bit of human interaction though not as much as one would expect. I apparently run on a different schedule than most of the people in my building as the elevator is typically empty when I get on. But this week I had a very interesting experience.

So I get home after working late and I'm in the lobby with two people who have gotten there before me. One of whom has a large number of shopping bags. They had already called for the elevator and when the doors open we all get in plus one other person on ahead of me. We all press our floor numbers except for the guy with the shopping bags, something that we all fail to notice until he sarcastically blurts out the following:

"Isn't anyone going to ask me my floor number?"

The degree to which this statement pissed me off really frightens me. His tone was just so accusatory as if the other three of us were just so pathetic that we lacked the common human decency to ask someone with bags what their floor was. And maybe there is something to be said for that but all I could think of was the following.

1) How the hell was I supposed to know to ask? There were three numbers pressed and a likelihood that one of them was the floor you wanted. 2) Why didn't you just say "Could someone punch 12 for me?" I would not have a single problem with that and would gladly do so. In fact, that is what I have done in similar circumstances. I've never taken it to be a god given right that complete strangers will preemptively bow to my every whim just because I have my hands full.

I left the elevator pissed off. I was upset that someone would dare try to guilt trip me just because I didn't go out of my way to assist someone I didn't know needed assisting. I'm not sure that I like having that feeling. Yes, I pride myself on being tough and living a take no prisoners, use every ounce of energy you have lifestyle. Henry Rollins would be very proud of my reaction, except that he would have encouraged me to swear at the guy as I left the elevator. The thing is, I'm not sure if that is who I really am.

I'm a nice guy. I go out of my way for people. I've said on occasion that I'm more interested in making other people happy than I am about making myself happy and I really think that is true. It's really the only way to explain the path my life has taken. And recently I wonder if that nice guy has just taken a few too many beatings and is being replaced with someone with a much harder edge. Someone who carries less guilt for not being perfect to all people at all times. While that probably makes me more like everyone else in the world I don't think I like it. I don't like being mean and I have a feeling that I am on that path.

It's something for me to think about at least. For my American readers, have a very Happy Thanksgiving tomorrow. For those from different lands, have fun in the office suckers. We've at least been smart enough to schedule holidays to provide for a four day weekend. Now if we were only smart enough to do so in nice weather.