“You’re just too sarcastic for me.”
I’ve had this feeling expressed to me recently and I’ve been trying to develop a response ever since. Given that sarcasm is my primary emotion it is tough to come to grips with the fact that I might be going overboard. This is especially true when there are other people who have told me that they like having me around because they can always count on my having a caustic comment on whatever situation we seem to find ourselves in. But the real question is why I am so sarcastic and cynical and what does it say about me.
The simple answer is that sarcasm is my defense mechanism against a world that I consider cruel and harsh and rather pointless. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again; I truly believe that one can view life as either a tragedy or a farce and I for one choose farce. If I spent every moment caring about the state of the world I would not be able to get out of bed in the morning. Life is tough, no matter who you are or how blessed you happen to be. We suffer, we hurt, the people you love leave you, dreams slip through your fingers and this pattern continues until one day you are no longer here and there is no guarantee that there is anyplace else to go to. The world can be dark as hell if you look at it honestly.
So I don’t. I view everything as a joke because I think the world is rather silly. We all try really hard at a world that was never meant as having any order. Put it this way, I view life as trying to climb up a very icy incline. Every once in a while you will slip and fall to the bottom. If you filmed that you would probably get a full season on ABC from it. Hell, people still watch America’s Funniest Home Videos. Maybe it shows a degree of cruelness and schadenfreude on my part but I think it is pretty clear that I am more than willing to point out my own foibles and laugh at them. If I didn’t this blog would be incredibly boring.
I’m a cynic with a sarcastic wit. I feel that it is my duty to point out when the Emperor has no clothes. Given how logical I am I don’t know how to live without pointing out when life has gone beyond all rational measures. But the fact that I’m a cynical bastard does not mean that I am uncaring or inconsiderate. In fact, I would like to think that the opposite is true.
My one goal in life is to have everyone I meet have a better life because they met me. Maybe I helped them out of a jam, maybe I provided friendship, or maybe I just made them laugh. That is all I want to accomplish in life. If I do this one thing I will be smiling when I draw my last breath because I will know that I have done my job.
So while I laugh at the world I do everything I can to make it a better place. I don’t argue, I’ve never thrown a punch, and I go out of my way to make things easier for others. I do my best to try to make my time on this planet as enjoyable for everyone as possible. We do not live in a world of rainbows and unicorns and I find it silly to act as we do. But that doesn’t mean that I do not strive to make such moments occur.
Because as cynical as I may be I still yearn for those moments when the shadows of the world disappear and all you are left with is the brilliance of this amazing place we find ourselves in. Those brief glimpses of infinity where the big picture momentarily becomes clear and life becomes what you dream it to be. You strive for those, you try to hold on to them until the very last moment, because they are what makes being alive so worth it. Being a cynic doesn’t mean that you do not see the beauty in life. It means that you are upset that people continue to get in the way of it.
So yes I am sarcastic. Am I too sarcastic? Who knows. At the end of the day I am just me. That is all I can present to anyone. I provide no airs, no masks that I hide behind, no false pasts about who I am. It might not always be the wisest tact but I remain true to myself and that is all that I care about.
Wednesday Night Music Club (ok, a day late): As you can tell I am in a bit of a dark mood today. Haven’t had one of these for a few months. I’m going to blame the weather. It is gray and dreary and rainy and when that happens I go into the dark corners of my personality. Thought I’d share some of the music that I tend to listen to when this happens. Nothing like listening to the Cowboy Junkies in a darkened room to make you wonder about what life really means.
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