Should've hired Billy Idol as the evening's entertainment

Re: Last post’s comment. It’s interesting that I might be the only person in the world who is chastised for being content. While I admit that bitter, cynical, hates everything and everyone EC makes for much more interesting blog posts I would hope that I am occasionally allowed to feel content with my circumstance. It is a rather rare occurrence. So though I offer great apologies to those who believe that my quality of writing has suffered because at the moment I am not moping about complaining about how horrible my life is please allow me to enjoy my current harmonious state. I think I deserve this respite.

Guess I might as well write about Jenna Bush’s wedding. Now I wasn’t there of course though I did send a very nice espresso machine. (I have one rule regarding wedding gifts. Always buy the one thing on the registry that you are certain will never be opened. Everyone asks for an espresso machine but no one ever uses theirs. It just sits in a box in the junk closet and gets moved from house to house for twenty years until it is finally tossed. By the time they open the box and discover that all that is in there is rolled up balls of newspaper they won’t even remember who sent it to them.) But even given my absence there are a couple of comments I would like to make.

First off, isn’t it strange how low key of an affair this was. I mean, we are talking about the president’s daughter getting married and it was barely a blip on the radar. I mean, this was nothing compared to the Miley Cyrus pictures or the fact that the entire Speed Racer franchise was ruined this weekend to the point that I can no longer wear my Racer X t-shirt with pride. Royal weddings are always massive events and while presidents aren’t royalty you would think that this would be a bit more significant. It might just be because the Bush twins have been really low profile over the past eight years. I’m not sure if I could recognize them, which wasn’t the case of Chelsea who became her own media figure even if she didn’t want to be one.

Also, I’m impressed that Jenna married Sammy Hagar. The choice of “I Can’t Drive 65” as the wedding song was a given and I did appreciate the fact that the entire wedding reception was sponsored by Cabo Wabo tequila. Cabo Wabo: It’s what you drink when you are trying to impress someone who doesn’t know any better. Oh sorry, she married Henry Hager, my mistake. (Does anyone else get a weird vibe from his picture? I mean, she seems out of his league.)

But to give credit where credit is due, their first dance was to a Taj Mahal song so props for that.

And since people want to know the particulars here they are. 200 guests with presumably an open bar. I believe oil wells were given as gifts to all of the attendees (either that or they were hand delivered their tax rebate checks). 14 women comprised the “house party” because apparently bridesmaids are passé now or something. 14 guys were tagged to be ushers, which usually means you wear a suit and try to act like you’re not already drunk. Particulars of the pre-nup were not discussed, which I feel should now just be a part of the vows. “Do you take this woman until death do you part with the knowledge that if you leave her prior to that moment she shall legally claim your car, your baseball card collection and your left kidney?”

Yeah, I know. I am such a romantic.