I’ve been thinking a lot about what I should do for a living. Obviously this is a big question for me as everyone continually asks what I plan on doing next. I was granted a few blissful weeks where saying “I don’t know” was a valid answer but now that reply just makes me look lazy. I’m in my mid-30’s; I should have figured this out by now. The thing is I don’t think I ever had it figured out in the first place.
My becoming an electrical engineer was as much a result of my being insanely practical when I was sixteen than anything. As I told someone today I was one of those people who was forty when they were sixteen. No rebellious spirit, just a focus on doing the job and making a career. I’ll never claim that I was naturally an electrical engineer. Sure, there were parts of the field that excited me but it was never my biggest interest. I’d much rather study history or English. Those two fields were my passions. But I happen to have this innate talent for math and science and I knew that I could go to college and four years later have a nice job by being a EE. There was not a doubt in my mind that I would be successful and it all went according to plan.
But I’m not sure if that made me happy. I did luck into the one part of electrical engineering that I truly enjoyed. I can’t explain it but I did get quite a thrill out of figuring out how the electrical grid worked and being able to predict what would flow on each line. I still got burnt out on it but it was at least enjoyable. When that happened I decided to go to business school in order to further my career. Again, no doubt in my mind that I would succeed.
So I accomplished that task as well and moved on to the world of finance. I’ve show some talent there as well but I saw that when I was stuck in more of an accounting role I got bored and needed more freedom. Marketing gave me that freedom but I still was never just handed the ball and allowed to run wild. Hence, my leaving the company to pursue momentary gainful unemployment.
None of this answers the question of what I want to do next. I still don’t know if I have an answer. Yes, I would like to try my hand at being a writer but I still don’t know if I have the courage to do so. Writing is my passion and my dream and I still fear being told that I am just a hack at it. It’s why I didn’t become an English major and even as an adult I don’t know if my ego could take that big of a hit. I can do finance in my sleep or go back to engineering but I don’t know if any of that will make me happy. Those would just be jobs. I’d get my paycheck and then
focus on my real life. That’s not naturally bad but it isn’t my goal.
I just want to find a job where I feel inspired every day. Where I feel that I am making a difference. Where I can use my myriad of skills as the numbers guy who understands culture and customers to become incredibly successful. There has to be something out there for a guy like me. I guess I just have to find it.
This all would have been much easier if my lifelong dream had been to be a fireman.
3 comments:
You are searching for the holy grail, my friend. If working were meant to be meaningful or inspiring or enjoyable you probably wouldn't get paid to do it; you'd be paying to do it.
I hereby declare myself the master of your destiny. You are a writer. There is nothing else you were meant to be. You were meant to write and make a living doing it. You can live where ever you want and make how ever much you need and you will have plenty of free time to pursue your other interests.
There are a couple of reasons that you will become a writer.
1. You are extremely good at it. You have talent. You have an abundance of talent. Being good enough is not even close to being one of your obstacles.
2. You are funny and interesting and unique. The world has a right to you, don't keep yourself from it any longer.
3. I said so.
while you are a good writer, do you think you could really stay in a job that requires no quantitative analysis? you are a good writer, but you are great with numbers.
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