A welcome break...

So the lamp in my office had a significant light bulb failure this week. Those things happen of course. I went to my cabinet and found out that the stash of light bulbs that I have had since I moved into this place had finally run out. A quick trip to the store later (because otherwise I would be writing by the glow of the laptop screen and that grows tiring very quickly) and I came back with one of those energy efficient fluorescent bulbs. Now I had never bought one before but I thought that I should be nice to the environment and pick one up.

As a result, I now feel as if I am sitting in some corner of an airport under really bad lighting. Seriously, it just looks totally wrong. I know that I am saving energy and carbon emissions but can’t I just have a light bulb that lights up like a light bulb. I know that I will get used to it but it’s tough to adjust to a new form of light when you are in your mid-30’s.

Switching gears, as I also took a networking class yesterday I will state officially that if anyone knows of a job where I might possibly be qualified please let me know. I will treat you to the Outback Steakhouse gift card that is currently sitting somewhere in my apartment. I’m starting to get serious about the whole job search process and would like to find something in the next month or two. I’ve got some feelers out there already but I’ll take any advice that I can find. At some point I’ll need to start getting paid again.

I know it probably seems odd that I haven’t been serious about it up to now. If you know me then you know that work and my career seem to be the driving force in everything I do. I think I just got tired of that and wanted to spend some time where that was not my biggest concern. To just shut down and sleep in and return to the person that I want to be. Sitting in a cube for hours a day is not exactly a natural environment and though I enjoyed my times it also became quite a drag. This has been my first chance in ages to just stop everything and get back to being me.

The results have been astounding. A lot of the issues that have been plaguing me for years and have just gnawed at me have gone away. I just feel like I am back to being me again. There wasn’t some magic button that got pushed; I think I just finally caught my breath. Took a few moments to look around and see the beauty that was around me. Take the time to actually talk with my friends instead of just run by them as I race from one moment to the next. All of those things we wish we could do I have had the time to enjoy.

I’ll be back working soon enough. Yes, I’ll probably complain about whatever company I find myself in. But I hope that this part of myself will remain. I’ve actually relaxed. People who have known me for a while understand how insane a statement that is. I’m always stressed; it is my primary emotion. That is a tiring way to live and from now on I just want to be a bit more zen with the world. I think that might be the way to go.