Thursday, May 08, 2008

And shouldn't cat food be mouse flavored?

As I’ve mentioned before, one of the nice side effects of unemployment is that I get to watch a lot of television. This means that I get to see some commercials that I might otherwise not come across. Clearly the daytime television audience is slightly different than that from later in the day. For example, let us examine Fancy Feast.

Now I have nothing against cats per se. They are perfectly respectable creatures, even if they do view the world in four dimensions and thus suddenly take off without warning because they see what is going to happen in that spot at some time in the future. And obviously they do need to be fed. So I understand the need to buy cat food. I can even see that you love your cat to the point that high quality cat food would be a consideration. However, the following seems to be a bit overboard. You can get your cat Filet Mignon Flavor with Real Seafood and Shrimp. If that doesn’t please your cat’s palate then maybe you can try the Tuscan medley, which is inspired by the artistry of Tuscan cuisine (that quote is directly from the website.)

I hate to break it to you but your cat does not understand the concept of cuisine. It is not transported to Italy and imagines itself hiding out in some villa somewhere. It’s a cat. They are not capable of higher level reasoning. They see it as food, plain and simple. They don’t have a palate. For crying out loud, they lick themselves at every opportunity. Though let’s be honest, if the human race was that flexible we probably still wouldn’t have invented the wheel. But seriously, there has to be something better for you than to pay for gourmet cat food for a creature that cannot comprehend the concept of gourmet food. Feed your cat well, take care of the little guy, but don’t waste money on something this foolish. Give what you would spend to charity or something. I’m sure some people would like real seafood or shrimp.

(Why seafood and shrimp are considered separate items really needs to be discussed as well. If shrimp have started walking I really think that should be a news item.)

There is one other story that I found out about today that I need to mention. I finally saw a mention on VH1 that they are casting for season two of The Pick Up Artist. Once again, my agent has failed to get me an early audition for the show. In fact, I’ve even missed the ability to apply online for a position. Now the good news is that I would probably be disqualified from the show for the fact that I am just too awesome for words but I’d still like a chance to meet Mystery and / or El Matador. J-Dog always seemed to be a bit of a douche, though.

But that does mean I will have another season to live blog, which is awesome. I’m curious as to who they got to apply. You actually know going in that you will be embarrassed in front of a national television audience. But, Mystery does have some lessons to teach even if they are rather disturbing at times. I still think he is wrong at points (including the fact of viewing relationships as some massive video game) but the guy does seem to have a decent grasp on psychology. If anything, this lets me know that I will soon get to watch guys geekier than me on tv. Can’t complain about that.


Foodie said...

I insist that you spend some time with my cat. I mean this. I want you to come over one evening or maybe for a couple of hours on the weekend and hang with Jack.
Today Jack asked me to give him some really expensive cat food and I asked him if smoked salmon would work. He said that would be fine.
You'll see. And when you do? I want you to blog about it.

Anonymous said...

I'm with you EC. Strangely enough, long time friend of the blog Maggie Walter's father was once talking to me about how a woman he knows buys bottled Evian and gourmet cat food for her cat, switching daily so her cat didn't get bored. His response, "It's a cat. You give 'em one kind of food, no choices. Hell, it's free. If they don't like it, they can go get a job."