Monday, April 07, 2008

Congrats to those in the Sunflower State

Sigh. I know I know. I’ve made a living, or at least as much of a living as one can make on a blog with no revenue stream, making fun of Kansas in general. But tonight I have to congratulate the Kansas Jayhawks and most valuable player Supernintendo Chalmers for winning the national championship tonight. I have to give them credit. A team that I constantly deride for folding and choking whenever things get tough made an amazing comeback. They didn’t give up, they made a huge steal when they needed it and they went for the kill in overtime. Congrats to all of those partying on Mass. Street and elsewhere tonight.

(I still stand by my belief that Bill Self is a toupee wearing traitor. I am an Illini after all. But I think I even like him more than Calapari, who makes me feel like I need to take a shower after just watching him coach.)

As opposed to writing a review of the game, which you’ll probably find elsewhere on the web written by people who actually took notes other than Chris Douglas-Roberts really should have just stayed with his maiden name, I have two commercials that I saw that I need to discuss. The first was I believe for Degree anti-preprint. This ad features our hero using degree before he rushes off to a futuristic business meeting. One that requires a jet pack and numerous technological advances to meet with his boss which is apparently a liquid metal robot. A robot who uses thousands of years of scientific advancement to determine whether or not he is sweating when he enters the room.

I have two issues with this ad. First off, what would the robot care if he was sweating or not? Does he have some incredible olfactory sensors built in to his design? Why would a robot be programmed to be incredibly sensitive to the point of being offended by biological based faux pas? That seems like a major waste of code. Secondly, if we are now at the point where we have jetpacks and liquid metal robots wouldn’t you think that we would be able to also invent some decent videoconferencing capabilities? Why in the world is this guy in such a hurry for a face to liquid metal construct meeting? Just set up a webcam. It would save a lot of effort.

The other was a Miller Lite ad for beer heaven. Obviously I am someone who has spent a lot of time dreaming of a beer heaven. Many nights have been spent at the end of the bar wondering just what a place would be like. They were right on many aspects. The beer that automatically moves from the bartenders hand to your own. The stool with your own name on it that turns into a recliner. Those I both dream of. However, the bartender was a dude, which wasn’t quite the way I envisioned it. While it was nice that the waitress didn’t shatter the bottles when she dropped them when she picked them up she didn’t turn to the guy and tell him to stop by after closing. And most importantly, it seemed like you were only able to order Miller Lite. Now I do drink Miller Lite, it is my default beer of choice when I really don’t care what I am drinking, but I would hope to have other options in beer heaven. A keg of Boulevard Wheat. The occasional Guinness. A Pilsner Urquell always at the ready. That is my idea of heaven.

Speaking of that, I am rather confident that there is a large party going on down the block from me right now. I’ve been ordered out drinking so that others can live vicariously through me. Good enough reason for me.


Foodie said...

Damn it I wish I'd watched the game with you. All because of your commercial comments. I spent a good hour of my date the other night watching TV (which I never watch) and commenting on all of the commercials. I don't think he liked it but I made myself laugh and I can't help it - when you don't watch TV normally, these things really impact you. For example, I must have one of those KFC grilled wraps as soon as possible. What time do you think they open in the morning?

Anonymous said...

what to do with your free time - get one of these and ride around like General Grievous!

The Motorized Monocycle