Ladies and gentlemen, I have found the ultimate gift. If you are still fretting about finding that perfect present for the special someone in your life have no fear. I have found your solution. Even if you have completed your shopping and your gifts are now meticulously wrapped I suggest that you throw everything you bought out, no, not even that. I ask that you build a bonfire in your backyard out of those pitiful trifles that you misguidedly thought could bring joy to your loved ones. The ultimate expression of the modern American experience is available for purchase. Better than the Chia Tree. More glorious than the OvGlove. Yes, even more stupendous than the Billy Bass. I give to you the Clapper Plus.
(This is real. Oh yes, this is real.)
Now I assume that everyone is familiar with the Clapper. A rather simple switch that is activated through an auditory input, most commonly a forceful slapping of one’s hands together in what is colloquially referred to as “a clap”. By connecting a device such as a lamp to the Clapper one can control the flow of electricity to the lamp thus allowing the illumination of a room to be commanded from the comfort of their own chair. No longer must one be confronted by long, treacherous walks and confusing switches. The Clapper solves all of those perplexing issues.
However, under certain circumstances one finds themselves in situations where clapping (or loud noises in general) are frowned upon. As the commercial clearly indicates, suppose that you are in a room with a mother and her small child who has finally fallen asleep. In such an instance one cannot haphazardly clap their hands and risk waking the infant, possibly causing irreparable harm to the child’s psyche resulting in a lifetime of psychiatric care. But how can one then turn off the light? For such a situation the Clapper Plus was created. Clapper Plus: The Clapper with a remote control.
Yes, while the Clapper freed you from the tedium of having to use both legs and a modicum of fine motor control in order to turn off the lights, the Clapper Plus now frees you from having to utilize all of your arm muscles. Now turning off the lights is simply a button push away. For the more adventurous amongst you they recommend mounting the Clapper Plus remote to the wall, thus replacing a light switch with another, more convenient light switch. The possibilities boggle the mind.
What does this say about our society? Are we so lazy that we can no longer be bothered to clap? Is cynicism running so rampant that people no longer understand how to clap? Should the Clapper Plus be bundled with coupons for gastric bypass surgery? Given that the use case shown in the commercial involves a mother and child (the Madonna with child imagery running rampant throughout the entire 30 second spot), doesn’t this raise the question of whether people who own a Clapper should be allowed to procreate? If operating light switches proves difficult how in the world will one provide food, shelter and emotional support for a helpless, totally dependent human being?
What worries me the most about this is the fact that it shows that we are becoming more and more dependent on things to do even the most simplest tasks. Douglas Adams wrote about this a decade ago when he asked the simple question “Could you build a toaster?” Think about it, we are sitting in the most technically advanced civilization that has ever existed (at least since the destruction of Atlantis) yet if I asked you to make toast you would be lost without a toaster. Even with a EE degree I’d struggle in building one and would be lucky to only burn the toast as opposed to an entire building. Part of that is modern society; with so much specialization we can no longer understand much that surrounds us. But you have to fight it. Not all technology is necessary. At the end of the day, you need to be able to flip the switch yourself.
(This is real. Oh yes, this is real.)
Now I assume that everyone is familiar with the Clapper. A rather simple switch that is activated through an auditory input, most commonly a forceful slapping of one’s hands together in what is colloquially referred to as “a clap”. By connecting a device such as a lamp to the Clapper one can control the flow of electricity to the lamp thus allowing the illumination of a room to be commanded from the comfort of their own chair. No longer must one be confronted by long, treacherous walks and confusing switches. The Clapper solves all of those perplexing issues.
However, under certain circumstances one finds themselves in situations where clapping (or loud noises in general) are frowned upon. As the commercial clearly indicates, suppose that you are in a room with a mother and her small child who has finally fallen asleep. In such an instance one cannot haphazardly clap their hands and risk waking the infant, possibly causing irreparable harm to the child’s psyche resulting in a lifetime of psychiatric care. But how can one then turn off the light? For such a situation the Clapper Plus was created. Clapper Plus: The Clapper with a remote control.
Yes, while the Clapper freed you from the tedium of having to use both legs and a modicum of fine motor control in order to turn off the lights, the Clapper Plus now frees you from having to utilize all of your arm muscles. Now turning off the lights is simply a button push away. For the more adventurous amongst you they recommend mounting the Clapper Plus remote to the wall, thus replacing a light switch with another, more convenient light switch. The possibilities boggle the mind.
What does this say about our society? Are we so lazy that we can no longer be bothered to clap? Is cynicism running so rampant that people no longer understand how to clap? Should the Clapper Plus be bundled with coupons for gastric bypass surgery? Given that the use case shown in the commercial involves a mother and child (the Madonna with child imagery running rampant throughout the entire 30 second spot), doesn’t this raise the question of whether people who own a Clapper should be allowed to procreate? If operating light switches proves difficult how in the world will one provide food, shelter and emotional support for a helpless, totally dependent human being?
What worries me the most about this is the fact that it shows that we are becoming more and more dependent on things to do even the most simplest tasks. Douglas Adams wrote about this a decade ago when he asked the simple question “Could you build a toaster?” Think about it, we are sitting in the most technically advanced civilization that has ever existed (at least since the destruction of Atlantis) yet if I asked you to make toast you would be lost without a toaster. Even with a EE degree I’d struggle in building one and would be lucky to only burn the toast as opposed to an entire building. Part of that is modern society; with so much specialization we can no longer understand much that surrounds us. But you have to fight it. Not all technology is necessary. At the end of the day, you need to be able to flip the switch yourself.
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