We really need a Spears Family Christmas Special

One of the horrible things about the writers’ strike is that it greatly reduces the number of topics I have to write about. No new How I Met Your Mother episodes (by the way, if the series does not resume the creators have informed me that the mother is the coat check girl) and The Big Bang Theory is in indefinite reruns. What in the world could possibly happen that I might be able to write about? I mean, it’s not like the younger sister of a troubled starlet is going to get pregnant or anything…

Oops…I did it again.

(Yes it is a horrible pun but do you know how many headlines are going to have a variation of that in the morning.)

For those of you who have missed the big news, Brit’s little sister and star of the hit Nickelodeon series Zoey 101, Jamie Lynn Spears is preggers. Now when you read Nickelodeon star and preggers that leads to one simple question with an obvious answer; Jamie Lynn is 16 years old. I think I speak for most of North America when I say that is seriously f-ed up.

I mean, being pregnant at sixteen is messed up to begin with. Last night I made fun of people with the Clapper having kids but at least they are adults. At sixteen you should barely be allowed to drive at night much less be involved in raising a child. Now on top of that, imagine having something like this play out in the national media. Does anyone ever dream of being the poster child for unwed teenage mothers?

Now add this to the banner year that the Spears family has been having already. Brit’s a complete mess and can’t even be bothered to make the court dates to argue for custody of her own two children. That’s the sad part of that whole state of affairs; she’s so screwed up that she can’t even be bothered to get out of bed to see if she can gain custody. Brit claims illness but let’s be honest, most mothers would come to court with their leg in a bear trap if it meant a better chance at seeing their kids. Maybe it is understandable that her little sister gets pregnant. It might be the only attention she has gotten all year.

You really have to look at their parents throughout all of this and wonder just what the hell they were thinking. Remember that both girls were raised to be superstars and not kids. This is like one of those beauty pageant moms gone berserk. The idea was to groom the girls into pop superstardom and as a result I don’t know if they have any grounding in reality. One can’t purchase fame and while you can manufacture infamy it just isn’t the same. Now Brit is a tired joke and Jamie Lynn will be handing her kid off to a nanny while wondering how to resurrect her career at 18. What a strange world.

(Switching gears, one story from the weekend that I need to share here. I had a dream that I was in How I Met Your Mother over the weekend. As in I was Ted or Ted was me or since the character is based on me I am me. Either way, I was literally in a bar with Barney and was able to successfully steal a girl away from him. That might be my biggest accomplishment of the past month and it wasn’t even real.)