It snowed today, our first snow of the season. As a result, please indulge me in my annual rant entitled “Are you all a bunch of freaking morons?”
Seriously, is there a single person in this town who knows how to drive?
Understand that we received an inch of snow today. No more, no less. Even without treating the streets an inch of snow should not prove to be a hindrance to anyone. Yes, things will be sloppy and slick but the roads are in no way impassible in this condition. Yet we have people leaving work early, avoiding the office and spinning out on the roads all because they seem to be completely oblivious as to how to drive in the snow.
As a guide to those of you who were not granted with common sense, here is all you need to do. 1) Go slower than you usually drive. 2) Give people space because you can’t brake as quickly. 3) If you feel that traction is going to be a problem drop down to a lower gear. There is a reason why your automatic transmission has those numbers 1, 2 and 3 after D. 4) When you clean the snow off your car don’t just clean off the front windshield. And don’t feel proud of yourself for cleaning the rear windshield as well. Clean off the roof of your car and your front and rear hoods. If you don’t all of that snow ends up either on your windshield or the windshield of the guy behind you.
See, that’s not too difficult. I lived through Chicago winters driving a Grand Am with no ground clearance. If I can get around following these rules I don’t know why other people can’t.
I’m embarrassed that events were cancelled tonight because of the snow. (Well, that’s in general to my usual embarrassment about Kansas City. You know that whole “evolution is a myth” thing really doesn’t make you proud of where you happen to find yourself.) This isn’t bad weather at all. I can understand cancellations when there are four or five inches of snow on the ground or during ice storms. But this is like cancelling due to rain.
I’ve never quite understood this town when it comes to snow. If I was in Arkansas or Oklahoma (why I haven’t the clue) I could understand people freaking out due to snow. There it would be a once every five or ten year event and the city wouldn’t have the equipment to handle it. But every year KC gets four or five snowstorms with one really good half a foot storm. Nothing unusual about this at all yet from watching the news you would get the impression that people are storing provisions in anticipation of not being able to dig out of their homes. It’s just bizarre.
Remember that I really like snow. It makes driving a pain and I’ve shoveled more driveways in my time than I would like to admit but there is one huge benefit to a nice snowstorm. It makes the world a lot prettier. At this time of year everything is dark and gloomy and I can go an entire day without seeing the sun. Drive to work in the dark, spend the day in a cubicle where I have to walk around a corner to see a window, and then drive home in the dark. Even when the sun is out all you see are leafless trees and brown grass. Snow creates a clean palate for the world.
Oh well, tomorrow I’ll go to work along with everyone in their SUV’s doing their best to insure that global warming causes an end to winter as we know it. Enjoy the snow while it lasts kids.
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