All bands should wear Illini sweaters...

Wednesday Night Music Club: It dawned on me that I mentioned Sufjan Stevens yesterday and that was probably the one reference in the entire piece that people might not get. I mean, I did include a song on Battling the Current Volume 2 but there are a lot of people reading this now who weren’t around back then. So here is a stripped down, live version of Chicago, which is just on this side of amazing. I’m in awe of any song that has a chorus of “I’ve made a lot of mistakes in my time.”

It might be time for a Volume 3 as well. We are nearing the third anniversary of Battling the Current after all. Wow, five nights a week for three years. That’s a lot of words.

And on what I wrote last night, I’m glad that I’ve gotten some positive comments on it. I haven’t written something like that for a while, mainly because I have a hell of a time writing something like that and keeping it from being so sappy that it is suitable for use as a breakfast topping. I think I did a good job, especially given that it really was written in half an hour. For some reason while driving to work in the morning the opening paragraph floated into my mind and I decided to go with it.

(I will say that driving home from Lawrence in a massive storm one night really was the impetus of the piece. It wasn’t really raining, just huge sheets of lightning crisscrossing the sky. Given that the area between Lawrence and KC is simply a bunch of open fields it was a pretty awesome site. It’s nice to be awed by something you’ve experienced a thousand times but never thought about.)

Anyway, it was either that or write about how The Pick Up Artist got a shout out on The Big Bang Theory this week. Not that I’m, you know, writing scripts for that show or anything. Sure, I’ve gotten some calls to help tighten a few up but I’m not technically writing for them. Yet. I do have to say that this episode was absolutely spot on from the innate geek joy of dressing in costumes to the complete incomprehensibility of how to interact at parties to Leonard deciding to think and be nice when Penny is kissing him. I think I’ve had that exact same conversation myself including the “yep, I’m a freaking genius” line. I checked and this show is actually getting better ratings than How I Met Your Mother so it might miraculously survive this first season.

HIMYM still hasn’t seem to have found its rhythm. While it is brilliant that porn can be a topic of a sitcom at 7 in the evening I’m not sure if the story went anywhere. The thing with that show is that there is always an overriding plot. In season one it was Ted trying to get Robin. In season two it was Ted and Robin as a couple and Lilly and Marshall getting married. This season doesn’t seem to be about anything yet and we still haven’t addressed why newlyweds Marshall and Lily still haven’t dealt with the fact that they are sharing an apartment with their bachelor friend from college. I know New York is a tough place to make it on your own but doesn’t that seem a little weird? Or have I just spent too much time in the Midwest?

Taking stock...

At this moment I find myself roughly 93 million miles away from a large ball of hydrogen and helium that as a result of nuclear fusion is supplying me with all of the light and heat that I need to survive. If I glance out the window I can see a sphere of carbon about 225 thousand miles away, which seems to be smiling at me. In the entire course of human existence twelve men have stood on that sphere and looked back at the blue green ball in the sky that I call home. At that distance if they put their thumb up in the air they could block the planet from their view entirely.

For most people, this is nothing to write home about.

I live on a planet composed of tectonic plates shifting in every direction. At times the pressure formed by these plates colliding is released in such a manner that entire cities are leveled. Occasionally entire mountains erupt spewing molten rock and sulfur out into the countryside. Sometimes this freezes whatever was in its path in a state of eternal rock.

We all consider this to be completely natural.

Given the right combination of air pressure patterns winds can arise in such a way that a funnel cloud will descend from the sky, ripping up everything in its path. A few hundred miles away from me right now a city no longer exists because the sky took it away. During this huge bolts of electricity can streak across the sky, turning darkness into day. Uncontrollable and unpredictable, it’s a seemingly purposeful dance of sparks and fireworks across the horizon.

No one in the Midwest even blinks an eye at this. We just say that it sounded like a train.

I have been known to find myself in a large metal box 35,000 feet in the air held aloft only by the applied knowledge of thousands of years of the study of physics. In doing so I have crossed oceans while I slept and have seen the same sky that my forefathers saw hundreds of years ago. I’ve attended weddings where I could not understand a word but was treated like a guest of honor all the same. I’ve had dinner with people from every continent and almost all walks of life.

This is simply viewed as having an interesting life.

I have a heart that has pumped non stop for 34 years, lungs that consistently fill with oxygen and 30 feet of intestines. My eyes have allowed me to see my niece two hours after she was born, my ears have granted me the wonders of hearing Sufjan Stevens and my nose has let me understand what it truly is like to be in New Orleans. I have experienced emotions so strong that I have sprinted to a computer to write them down in an attempt to store them for the future. Others write music or paint pictures or scream from rooftops just so they can let people understand what it feels like to be alive.

And we don’t typically notice any of this.

Isn’t that weird?

What is it about life that makes us completely blind to the sheer majesty of it all? Is it because we are all so focused on the details, so intent on making the next paycheck or the next meal that we can’t look up and go “wow”? Is it because if we did that is all we would ever do; stand there, jaw agape at how we’ve somehow gone from swinging in the trees to talking on cel phones?

I don’t have the answer. That might be the only time in history that I have admitted that in public. All I know is that over the past few months I’ve been so focused on results and end states that I haven’t enjoyed the moment. You could probably replace months with years and not have much of a complaint on my end. But right now, I just kind of feel like looking around and going “wow”. I complain about my life too much. It would be much better if I stood in awe of it for a change.

We all need matching luggage

(For those who believe that my music selection is an indication of my overall state, I’ve spent the past two days alternating between blaring The Polyphonic Spree’s “The Fragile Army” and Freedy Johnston’s “Blue Days, Black Nights”. So, yeah, I’m pretty much a human yo-yo right about now. Still, it’s nice to know that I’ll always have my music.)

As I didn’t have any concerts to go to this weekend (and no, I was not able to be persuaded to go see Van Halen twenty plus years after it was last cool to see Van Halen) I decided to catch a movie. Specifically, I went to see The Darjeeling Limited at the Tivoli. First off, I have to say how cool it is that I live two blocks from the Tivoli. On a Saturday night I get to go and watch art films surrounded by maybe a dozen people. I don’t know why I spent so much on a home theater system, I basically have my own theater down the block. Plus, it’s not like you get strange looks for going to movies by yourself when no one is there.

(Ok, so maybe I shouldn’t admit that I go to movies alone. Given that I go to bars alone and grab tables for one at restaurants this really isn’t that big of a deal. As someone once told me, I am very content with my own company.)

Anyway, I did catch the version of the film with the short starring Natalie Portman and Jason Schwartzman at the start. First impression, is Jason like 4’ 2”? I swear Natalie was taller than him and she is incredibly short. Second, I’m not quite sure what the bruises on Natalie symbolized but I could probably do without them. Third, yep, you sure do get to see a lot more of Natalie than you typically would in say, the Star Wars prequels. Fourth, I like someone carrying an iPod with them to provide their own soundtrack. Fifth, I have no clue what the short was actually about other than two people in a bad relationship in a hotel room in Paris.

As for The Darjeeling Limited I have to say that it is a rather odd movie. Not that it is a bad movie, I liked it a lot, just that it might be unlike anything that I had seen in a very long time. There are essentially only three characters and a grand total of eight speaking roles. You have three rather estranged brothers (Schwartzman, Adrien Brody and a bruised and battered Owen Wilson) on a train trip across India in an attempt to find their mother, address the loss of their father and go on a spiritual journey based on laminated itinerary cards. That makes it sound like there is a driving plot but there really isn’t. As a viewer, you are just along on the journey with them as almost a fourth brother.

Now I’m a fan of Wes Anderson’s work. I think Rushmore is beyond brilliant and The Royal Tennenbaums is wonderfully flawed. The films are interesting just to look at just in terms of the sets and the costumes. He also has a way with language that while not realistic makes for wonderful storytelling. Still, it’s tough to recommend this movie. Not because it is bad, just because it’s different. You laugh but then you wonder why. And then you find yourself touched and you wonder why as well.

Maybe the most off putting part is Owen Wilson’s strong performance. He spends the entire filmed bruised and bandaged from a motorcycle accident. It’s a departure for someone best known for his looks. Add to that his recent suicide attempt and his role seems to take on five different levels of meaning. At one point he looks in the mirror and goes “I think I still need more time to heal” and you wonder just how real a statement that is.

This film isn’t as funny as Rushmore. It’s slightly more realistic than Tennebaums. It contains much less wetsuit action than The Life Aquatic. I’m not quite sure what this movie is like. It’s a road movie on a train. Except the wacky adventures never seem to come because at some point in life you can’t rely on wacky adventures any more. At some point you need to search for truth.

Or I'll just be a miniature golf scorekeeper...

Best of 120 Minutes: Wow, now I feel old. I just realized that this song came out when I was a senior in high school. Back when we thought that the fall of the Berlin Wall was a big deal. Does anyone else realize that kids in college today have no idea what the Cold War was like? Seriously, they’ve never had to deal with a communist threat. Hence, they probably don’t care about the Olympics nearly as much as I do.

Anyway, I actually remember sitting in a high school assembly grooving to this song. Why it was being played I have no idea. Also, I’ve drank with the bass player of Jesus Jones. How in the world that actually happened is beyond me. Still better than my brother’s story of drinking with REO Speedwagon.

So I took Friday off and slept in until eleven. Yep, that’s how freaking sleep deprived I’ve been recently. There are a lot of reasons why I sometimes don’t make much sense, a complete lack of sleep is one of them. My main reason for taking the day off was to have a follow up with my doctor on my medical misadventure from last month. The good news is that I have been given an effectively clean bill of health. The bad news is I still have regular appointments “until I feel normal again.” I still haven’t figured out if that is my sense of normal or what a regular person would consider normal. To be honest, I have no idea what that would feel like. I assume that when I find Adam Sandler films funny I’ll be considered normal. Talk about the cure being worse than the disease.

The fun thing is that my doctor is at KU Med so I also have med students using me as their test subject. He was showing the student how to listen to heart and lungs. Not a big deal to me, I’ve got a great doctor and I understood this when I went to KU Med in the first place. However, it just feels bizarre to have a doctor use me as an example of a perfectly healthy specimen. I even have a healthy liver apparently. I have no idea how that is even possible.

On that note, I was out at the bars last night. Given the way my week had gone I kind of needed a night out on my own. Also, this was one of my favorite weekends to go out as I get to rip on Halloween costumes. Personally, I told everyone that I was dressed as Bill Gates. Do you know how many months I have worked to perfect this flabby physique, unmanageable hair and unfashionable glasses? That is dedication to a costume.

(Question for whoever reads this: Should I do the following for Wednesday: buy a red and white striped shirt, a red and white striped stocking cap, put on my old glasses, and sit in a bar and gauge people’s reaction? After how many cries of “We’ve found Waldo” do you think I would go insane?)

Some things I learned from watching the crowd last night. I’m pretty confident that wearing a banana costume will not result in affection from the ladies. A KU shirt and a pillow makes for a rather effective impersonation of their football coach. The Paul Bunyan and Babe the Blue Ox combination was actually rather clever and it took me time to get the reference. Props to the guy dressed like Hunter S. Thompson, which is something I should do one of these years. Still, nothing that tops the Rainbow Brite girl from last year or the guy dressed as a shower.

And sadly, I didn’t run into the Morton Salt girl. In either the actual girl I talked to last year or the metaphorical girl of my dreams who may or may not be carrying a yellow umbrella at any given moment in time. But it’s not Halloween yet and you should never count me out. Life always has its way of making my stories for me.

The five random CDs for the week:
1) Eleni Mandell “Afternoon”
2) Immaculate Machine “Fables”
3) Various Artists “Soundtrack to Before Sunrise and Before Sunset”
4) Aimee Mann “The Forgotten Arm”
5) Mary Lou Lord “Got No Shadow”

Hasek to the castle

(I know this is of interest to no one other than me but according to my writer’s journal this is my 202nd entry of the year and I’ve written just shy of 160,000 words. I’m now somewhere north of 750 blog posts as well. And the three year anniversary of the blog is coming up in a few weeks and you know what that means. Actually, if you do please let me know. I’d really like to find out.)

There are times in your life where you begin to question just precisely when you lost the plot. Driving to Lawrence on a Wednesday night to see a band from Prague mainly just so you could say that you’ve seen a band from Prague is one of those times. Actually, I owe much thanks to a friend of mine for telling me about Uz Jsme Doma, a rather cool band from my homeland. Though traveling the US to play next to pinball machines at the Replay Lounge seems to be an odd fate.

Now despite the fact that I am Czech and have a last name that is apparently unpronounceable I don’t actually speak the language. I can recognize it when I hear it and it does sound familiar at some level but it is odd to hear people singing in it. Not that I don’t listen to music in foreign languages. I’m a huge fan of the Iguanas and most of their stuff is in Spanish and I don’t know how many Cajun and zydeco discs I have that are in French. But it was comforting in a way to hear the language in the crowd and during the sound check. It is a part of who I am, after all.

(Personally, I just like the fact that when someone asked me today about why I went to Lawrence to see a band I had never heard of I was able to answer “Because I can.” At the end of the day, sometimes you have to do things just because you can do them. It keeps you from being a target market complete with focus groups and fun sized self sealed packages of enjoyment.)

You might have noticed that this makes four shows in Lawrence in eight nights, which I believe is a new record for me. It also is one of the reasons why I’m taking tomorrow off from work. I just cannot run that many late nights and long drives in a row. It didn’t help that one of the long time friends of the blog decided that at 2:15 in the morning it was vitally important that I know that he was currently watching old Beavis and Butthead videos. I’m a bit sleep deprived right now as a result of all of this.

I guess that is a sign that I really am growing old. I swear that a year or two ago I could bounce back from a schedule like this a lot quicker. Not that it was easy, just that I didn’t get home from work and immediately want to lie down and not move for twelve hours. I hate the fact that I’m going to be forced to admit that I’m an adult sooner rather than later. I can hide the gray in my hair but I can’t hide the fact that closing time is getting harder and harder to reach. I read somewhere this week that at 35 you realize that you have become the person you are going to be for the rest of your life. I’m ten months away from turning 35 and that scares the hell out of me. I still need to evolve.

And with that, enjoy the weekend everyone. At least Notre Dame is guaranteed not to lose this time.

I've got a microphone...

Best of 120 Minutes: Yeah, Liar! Liar! I’ll tear your heart out, I’ll kick your ass.

(Settle down, Beavis)

So I went to see Henry Rollins give a spoken word performance on Sunday night. It’s strange that it is called spoken word as that tends to bring up the image of bad poetry readings. I’ve been to those and this wasn’t it. It was Henry Rollins getting on stage, grabbing a microphone and talking for three hours straight. This is something I gladly pay to see.

(One of the coolest things is that when Henry is on stage he grabs the microphone and wraps the cord around his hand in exactly the same manner as if he is fronting a band. I think it is impossible for him to just talk into a stationary microphone. This all adds to the sense of danger and excitement as if there is a possibility that a band will miraculously appear behind him.)

What did he talk about? Well, he started off by talking about how cool Lawrence is and how there isn’t another place like it in the country. I have to agree with him there, it is this island of sensibility and intelligence in the midst of, well, Kansas. True, the coolness has a footprint of about twelve square blocks but it is a pretty sweet twelve blocks.

There was a story about interviewing Christopher Walken for his television show. Apparently Christopher Walken is always Christopher Walken. I don’t think he actually plays any roles, he just speaks like that the entire time. Henry pretty much said it was the worst interview he ever had as he couldn’t stop going, “Dude, it’s Christopher Walken” every five seconds. (I like the fact that Henry admits that he is a sniveling fanboy a lot of the time. Any musician who talks about how in awe he is of other musicians is letting his guard down much more than one would expect.)

He also hit on politics and that is the part that I want to touch upon tonight. He was in Israel and was having lunch with a friend when Condoleeza Rice’s motorcade drove by. Henry being Henry of course ran outside to swear at her and flip her off. As he explained he doesn’t hate her. She is an extremely intelligent and sensible woman. He just hates the fact that she has sold out her beliefs for an administration that lies and he can’t believe that she can sit there and spew forth the talking points knowing that she doesn’t believe in them.

Now I try not to get into politics here mainly because it tends to just upset people. But I’m from Chicago so I’m a democrat by law and that is where most of my political leanings lie. But here is my view on Condi and why I agree with Henry. She got her Masters degree from Notre Dame. She might be the highest ranking government official ever with ND ties. I truly believe that you cannot spend several years on that campus and not have the spirit and ethics of that school placed into your world view. Not everyone takes them on to the same level but it definitely should become a part of your day to day existence. That’s what troubles me about Condi. I’m an ND grad and I have an issue with the government’s policies and I only know what is in the press. She knows what is truly going on. And I really do wonder what is going to happen when she decides to clean her conscience.

Cleaning out the DVR

Just found out that one of my favorite artists is finally having a couple of pieces go up on auction. The above image is a Banksy, this brilliant British graffiti artist who is either the most amazing person on the planet or an arrogant, talentless prick depending on your point of view. I’m strongly in the first camp as I think that this guy just does some brilliant work. It is graffiti masquerading as fine art or fine art masquerading as graffiti. It always makes you stop and think, which is pretty much the definition of art in my book.

Anyway, so they are putting a handful of his original pieces on the auction block and it is a pretty rare event. That’s the problem when your medium is spray paint and public property, it makes it really difficult to sell the pieces. It looks as if I sell everything I own, cash out all my accounts, get rid of that spare kidney, and sell the rights to my biography I would just have enough money to make a bid. Not actually by the piece, mind you, but I would be allowed to raise one of those little paddles with a number on it. Sigh. One of these days I’ll win the lottery and I’ll get to own one.

Switching gears, I finally got around to watching my tape of How I met Your Mother and The Big Bang Theory tonight. Is it me or are they trying to get really cute with HIMYM this year? We’ve had Mandy Moore and Enrique Iglesias as guest stars. Tonight we had Barney drawing graphs in the air. Now I am personally all for discussing relationships in graphical form and the Betty Mendoza line is a pretty awesome line but it seemed a little too cute and sitcom-y, especially from a show that seems to be pretty realistic. That said, the entire episode was meant to provide some backstory on how everyone met.

Mainly this finally meant that we find out how Ted and Barney met. I don’t think this was ever discussed before. Barney was always their friend but it was never shown how they met other than they met at the bar. I still think there is a story here that hasn’t been explored. We know a bit of Barney’s backstory and how he learned to suit up but what drove him to grab Ted at random and make him his wingman has to have some deeper significance. I’d help write it but you know, with the upcoming writer’s strike and all I’ll probably have to hold back on my scriptwriting.

(Oh, and here is another “They are stealing my life to write this show” moment. They’ve revealed that the mother is a woman in a yellow raincoat and a yellow umbrella. Which would make her look vaguely like the Morton Salt girl. Which is precisely what a girl I talked to at a bar a year ago said she was going as for Halloween. I’m telling you, someone on that writing staff reads this blog.)

I have really grown to like The Big Bang Theory. The show does seem to be written specifically for me as I don’t think that anyone else gets the physics humor. The good news is that they have done a much better job in writing the character of Penny, the only normal person on the show. Basically, they smartened her up a little and had her start firing back at the guys and going off on them for being so socially inept. Not meanspirited but realistic. That didn’t exist at first, probably because I bet they didn’t have a single woman writer on staff for the pilot. As a rule, guys interested in writing sitcoms with calculus jokes are probably not going to be very adept at writing convincing female characters.

Still, this is a really good show. We’ve had a few Roseanne reunions that have been worthwhile. Sheldon’s supergenius character is just outstanding. There is a level of brilliance one can reach where the common world just seems completely incomprehensible and that’s what Sheldon inhabits. I’m not there, I’m more of the guy who wants to fit in but wonders why everyone else is so slow at times, but I understand the type. Basically, I’m a sucker for humor that involves a whiteboard. Oh and my favorite exchange tonight

(Leonard provides an in-depth analysis of his potential relationships)
Sheldon: “You know, you are lucky that I am one of the three people in the Western Hemisphere who could follow your train of logic.”
Leonard: “Really? Thanks for listening.”
Sheldon: “I didn’t say I cared, I just said I could follow it.”

But who does Van Damme support?

I haven’t given an update on the status of Cobra Kai, the awesomest fantasy football team in the land recently and since we are at the midway point of the regular season I thought that now would be as good a time as any. After an auspicious 0-3 start, thanks to Lee Evans being just abysmal as a receiver and my inability to start the right quarterback, I have turned the season around with four straight wins. Barring David Garrard throwing something like 10 touchdowns in the second half I’ll be tied for first place in my division after this week.

However, I have to say that being on my team is apparently a curse. I have now lost my third running back to a season ending injury. Cadillac Williams, Michael Pittman and Ronnie Brown have all been carted off the field on my watch and I wouldn’t be surprised if Joseph Addai spontaneously combusts tonight. Right now my number two back is Kenny Watson from the Bengals and that is just sad. I’ll probably have to trade one of my three headed QB monster of Favre, Hasselbeck and Anderson in order to get someone who will at least be worth starting. Until then, I might be pinning my hopes on Wes Welker for the rest of the season.

There were also two news headlines that I saw today that I need to discuss. The first is that Kid Rock was arrested in a brawl outside of a Waffle House. It wasn’t the arrest or who was involved that was important, it is the location. What in the world can take place at a Waffle House that would cause a fight to occur? Was there a dispute over maple syrup? Did someone order Canadian bacon and was charged with being un-american? There’s a lot of things that you could do to increase your street cred but fighting in a Waffle House is not one of them. I guess it beats a Denny’s, though.

(I did actually have breakfast at Denny’s on one of my last business trips. I’m embarrassed to say that it was a really good breakfast. I’m not even talking in my usual post-modern ironic sense of the word, I mean it was actually good food on a jet lagged morning.)

The other headline was that Chuck Norris had announced who he is supporting for president. This was a front page headline on CNN today. Maybe it’s a good thing that the ice caps are melting and we’re pretty much just going to call it a day for this planet. I’m not sure if I can deal with being in a country where Chuck Norris’ political views are reported in one of the most popular news sources. Seriously, I dig the internet memes surrounding Chuck but it’s a joke. Why in the world would we want to show the world that some people view this seriously?

Not that I don’t want levity in the world but come on, how in the world is this a news story? Of all the things going on that can get coverage, from Iraq to Myanmar to the environment to whatever, this gets front page space. Maybe the Paris and Britney culture has gone too far. Everything needs a celebrity angle now, even if it means absolutely nothing. It’s at times like this that I wonder why I try to write fiction. I try to hold up a mirror to the world and I need to ransack a fun house just to find something to make it all look normal.

Just wow...

Wednesday Night Music Club: In a change of pace the Wednesday Night Music Club will be on Sunday this week while the best of 120 Minutes will be on Wednesday. Part of this is due to the fact that it is my blog and I’ll do whatever the hell I damn well please with it. Partly it is due to the fact that I feel that calendars and clocks are part of an oppressive regime focused on destroying creativity (though my boss never views it quite the same way). But mainly it is because I really, really don’t want to wait until Wednesday to talk about the Polyphonic Spree.

(That would be the wild band shown above. Typically I hate people who decide to videotape shows from the crowd because I never understood what the enjoyment was of capturing out of focus video with really bad sound. However, in this instance it might be the only way to explain what I saw on Saturday.)

Yep, I went to The Polyphonic Spree show in Lawrence on Saturday night and it was, in a word, insane. I’m not sure if there is any other way to describe the band. I mean, 21 people were on stage at the same time. There was a six woman choir performing orchestrated dance moves that consisted mainly of whipping their hair around. There were two violinists, a cellist and a full brass section. There was a flutist (or flautist I’m never sure which is which) who gave the most energetic performance I’ve ever seen with that instrument on a rock stage. (Though truth be told, I’ve never seen Jethro Tull) For crying out loud, they even had their own harpist. To call this a band gives a disservice to the word band.

Leading it all is Tim DeLaughter, the former frontman for Tripping Daisy. I’m not sure where he came up with this idea or how he convinced everyone to go along with it but he has created something that is so amazing I’m not sure if I can describe it. Basically, this band rocks. I saw them at the Granada, which is not a big venue at all, so you just have 21 people going full energy at all times. If you’re not playing your instrument you are singing along. Tim leads the show somewhere along the lines of a religious revival. Standing on the monitors, leaning into the crowd, just exhorting everyone to relish this precise moment.

(He actually said that. “Remember that you will only have this night, this moment, once in your entire life. Make it one that you’ll remember forty years from now.”)

The songs are vaguely psychedelic and half of them seem to be about how awesome the sun is. That probably explains why the hippie girl who was dancing wildly beside me grabbed my arm at one point, looked me dead in the eye and yelled “It’s the sun!” That didn’t happen at the Drive By Truckers show. The clip is from my favorite Spree song, “Hold Me Now”, which is upbeat and happy and just shows how amazing the band is. I was singing along at full volume, as was most of the crowd. If you know me you probably can’t imagine seeing me sing along with the band. I’m usually hanging out next to the soundboard, drinking a beer and complaining about the band’s lack of proper bridge structure. With the Spree you just don’t care about any of that shit. You just want to sing and bounce and feel alive. Outside of The Frames, I don’t think I’ve ever seen a band that when I left I wanted to go out and change the world.

Some other highlights: 1) They had a red banner across the stage to hide the setup. When they started playing they put a spotlight on it and someone held their hands up in the shape of a heart. Tim then cut the banner, following the heart shape. 2) At one point Tim grabbed someone’s cel phone (who had it up in the air so a friend could hear) and started singing into the phone, 3) For the encore they came out in their traditional choir robes and walked through the crowd, 4) The show only cost $16 so I paid less than a buck per band member.

Seriously, if you ever get the chance to see these guys you have to. There really is nothing like it out there.

The five random CDs for the week:
1) Robert Earl Keen “What I Really Mean”
2) Pieta Brown “Pieta Brown”
3) Richard Buckner “Dents and Shells”
4) Cowboy Junkies “200 More Miles”
5) U2 “Boy”

Southern rock opera

I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again, I’m addicted to Ticketmaster. It’s a rather horrible addiction. My bartenders don’t charge me a five dollar service fee just so I can have a beer. Heck, I get special privileges just because they know that I am the bar’s profit margin. Ticketmaster rakes me over the coals every time and thanks me by offering me a chance at getting backstage passes to Kenny Chesney, which would be good only if they came with the opportunity to knee Kenny Chesney in the groin.

Basically I go to a lot of concerts. Some, like Wilco, are for bands that I have been following for a decade and have every note they’ve ever recorded. Last night was a little different. Last night I went to see Drive By Truckers, a band that I had heard incredible things about but had never actually seen. Or possibly even listened to. I think I may have heard a song of theirs once. In my mind, that’s enough to drive out to Lawrence.

(In a driving rainstorm no less. It’s always fun to be driving on a road you can’t technically see. I did pass one semi that was lying on its side on the side of the road. Police and ambulance were already there, as was a local news crew featuring a reporter who looked like she would rather not be out in the rain.)

Drive By Truckers are known as a southern rock band. That is how critics will describe you after you release a two disc rock opera based on Lynyrd Skynyrd. The band isn’t just a quasi tribute to the Van Zandts, their music is a lot deeper than that. I was really impressed by the lyrics, which were out of this world at times. For a loud show (and I was next to the sound board where the guy had a dB meter with him) featuring a band with interesting facial hair, you would not expect lyrics that could really be described as poetic in the tragic southern Faulknerian sense of the term.

Two things that will stay with me from the show. First off, the band took the stage with a bottle of Jack Daniels. I don’t think that’s a first for me. The fact that before they started the set they handed the bottle amongst themselves and all downed swigs from it was impressive. Continuing to pass it around during the set was even more so. By the end of the set the band was lit but seemed to improve as they went along.

The second part was that they had a three guitar attack that just blew me away. Now as much as I’m a music critic (at least in my own mind) I am not big on the technical aspects of music. I’ve always explained it as I’m a writer so I can understand how challenging it is to write meaningful lyrics. I can’t play guitar so the difference between bad guitar playing and good and amazing really isn’t that big in my mind. But this was out of this world good. I would actually watch their hands to try to figure out who was playing which part. It wasn’t “two guys strum, one guy solos.” You basically had three solos going on simultaneously and it worked. I really wish I could have seen them when they still had Jason Isbell in the band. That must have been insane.

Great show, really glad I went. Not the typical Wednesday night and I missed trivia but sometimes you’ve got to do what you’ve got to do. Have a great weekend everyone.

Life is now officially a sitcom...

Wednesday Night Music Club: This is probably the best known act that I have ever featured on a Wednesday. I mean, Aimee Mann performed on the Oscars and that is watched by a billion people. Of course that last stat is entirely untrue as the Oscars aren’t even the most popular show in the States and never rank amongst the top shows of all time. I think the only one that does is when John Wayne received an honorary Oscar. And think about it, would anything (other than the World Cup final) actually gain the attention of 1/6th of the world’s population. Given that we can discount most of China and India from watching the Oscars we now need a quarter of the rest of the world to watch and that just isn’t going to happen. But I digress…

The interesting thing is that I really was never that big of an Aimee Mann fan until I saw her in concert. I’m not entirely sure why I went to see her, other than I knew that she was playing in Lawrence and I had more than enough free time on my hands. But am I glad that I went. She is just an incredible performer and songwriter and just seems to be one of the coolest people that you could ever see. I think I’ve ended up picking up every disc that she has released and I listen to them constantly. Here’s Pavlov’s Bell, a rather neat song.

This news story was all around the net today and it bothered me for some reason. This week marks the twentieth anniversary of Baby Jessica falling down the well. Ok, I understand that part and I remember it being a big story because child in danger with a happy ending will always make headlines. I can even see a twenty years later story as we find Baby Jessica now a 21 year old mom in a West Texas town. No problem there, either. It’s the million dollar trust fund that she will receive at 25 that bothers me.

According to the stories, there were over a million dollars in donations given to Baby Jessica 20 years ago so they set up a trust fund for her that she can’t access until she turns 25. Does this strike anyone else as odd? I mean, I fully understand people donating money to help defray costs for the medical bills and the rescue efforts. I can even see sending gifts or sympathy or encouragement for going through a tough ordeal. But becoming a millionaire for falling down a well as a baby and surviving the event effectively unscathed? Doesn’t that just seem wrong for some reason? Or am I really just that cynical of a bastard that I can’t see that this is just a karmic payment for pain and suffering?

Switching gears, I’ll just provide the highlights in celebrity gossip for the week. My beloved Lindsay is out of rehab and there are already rumors floating around of her hanging out at bars and drinking. That’s my girl! Also, she has hooked up with a new boyfriend who is sadly not me though I have to be sixth on the depth chart by now. The cool story is that this guy was engaged and he broke up with his fiancé by simply never telling her about it. He just stopped returning her calls and she started seeing the paparazzi shots in the paper. That might be the cruelest thing that I have ever heard. And remember, my beloved would still rather date him over me. But, it’s only a matter of time.

Oh, and Paris Hilton going to Rwanda is part of a reality show. Because when I think of wacky reality show hijinks I think of Rwanda. Sigh. And people wonder why when I go to Europe I claim to be from Saskatchewan.

The Apex of Reality

“It’s the most inane and idiotic show in the history of television. It’s right up your alley.” And with that, I was introduced to the most amazing piece of television wizardry since The Pick Up Artist. I can only be talking about one thing, “A Shot at Love with Tila Tequila.”

For the record, I know about this show because Danny (the source of the quote) was the sound engineer for the show. Danny is the only person on the planet that I know who has a job that is weirder than mine. He travels the world doing the sound for reality television shows. I watch these shows as mindless entertainment, for him it’s his freaking job. While my job is…is…still classified but vaguely involves spending all day surfing the net at least I can explain it. I’m not even sure how to explain this show.

I’ll start by explaining who Tila Tequila is. If you don’t know who she is then congratulations, you are probably above the age of 22. She is a MySpace celebrity. I’m not sure what qualifies someone as a MySpace celebrity other than accepting every friend request, even those that are clearly from spam sites. (For the spam sites, could you at least vary the page design? I hate getting requests for the same page under five different names.) Basically, Tila made a name for herself by posting pictures of herself in skimpy clothing and ceaselessly promoting herself as, well, someone who will post pictures of themselves in skimpy clothing for free. I believe Meryl Streep got her start in the same fashion.

All of this enables one to their own reality show on MTV, which has so given up on the concept of having anything relate to music that the idea of VJs seems quaint. But it can’t just be any type of reality show, it has to be a reality dating competition. And because you have to top Flavor of Love, Tila Tequila just happens to be bisexual so this show is, for all intensive purposes, Bisexual Bachelorette.

(I swear I’m not making any of this up. This all on Tuesday nights on MTV.)

Yep, so you’ve got guys and girls competing for the love of Tila, who has the personality of a block of wood. I know that’s not what has made her a minor celebrity but for crying out loud, can’t you show a slight bit of emotion? The guys all have six pack abs and seemed to have collectively failed to pack shirts. Or they can’t figure out how to put them on as they do not seem to be the brightest bunch. I’m pulling for the guy who has the subtitle “Pizza Delivery Guy” whenever he is shown, if just because I have a feeling that he isn’t actually a contestant but is in fact just the pizza delivery guy. The girls are a strange mix as you can imagine. I think the intelligent ones intentionally got eliminated first. Danny once told me that anyone who agrees to be on a reality show is at least a little unhinged, I’m pretty sure anyone who signed up for this show didn’t have a door to begin with.

You could make a lot of grand claims about what this says about society in general. We have someone who is famous for being famous except that she really isn’t famous in the first place. We have people who are so desperate for their fifteen minutes of fame that they’ll showcase themselves in the most embarrassing manner possible. And you’ll have someone with multiple degrees spend an hour watching the show and a half hour writing an essay about it in the hopes that a few people might find it funny. I’m not sure what this really says about society other than a) we all want to be famous, b) put people in skimpy clothing and you can guarantee ratings and c) I have way too much free time.

We're an American Band...

For those people who feel that I go to too many concerts I’d just like everyone to rest assured that I occasionally skip shows that I might otherwise see. For example, contrary to popular opinion I did not go and see Kevin Costner in concert last night. I am not making any part of that sentence up. Kevin Costner, for the lack of a better term let’s call actor, performed with his band at Harrah’s Casino last night. I can guarantee you there was a bigger crowd for him than there was for Soul Asylum or Rufus Wainwright in the same venue. I don’t even want to imagine why that would be the case.

I did think up some ideas of what I would have done if I was at the show. I would probably try to get as close to the stage as possible and heckle like mad. Here are my best ideas “For the Love of The Game was meandering and pointless”, “Seriously, a post apocalyptic drama featuring a guy trying to deliver the mail? You thought that was a good idea for a movie?” and “Dances With Wolves as Best Picture over Goodfellas? How do you sleep at night?” Well, they can’t all be gems. I’d probably just settle for “You suck, Costner” until they threw me out.

On to the topic of American Band. From what I have read this will not simply be a cover song competition in the manner of American Idol. Bands will have the option of performing either original material or cover songs. Now a tribute band competition would actually be a decent idea for a reality show. They had a bad celebrity impersonation show this summer but tribute bands are an interesting sub-genre of music that deserves a spotlight every once in a while. Any musical genre that feature Lez Zeppelin and a version of Kiss made up entirely of little people is worth an hour on Fox. But I digress…

On the whole I don’t really have a problem with the idea behind this show. It’s that feeling that a band is intrinsically better than just a person singing. Probably because my entire problem with American Idol is that the focus is entirely on the singer and not the song. In fact, you can barely remember what anyone sang after the performance, you just remember all of those vocal tricks like never holding a freaking note. You know, that Christina Aguilera “let’s vary a single note by three octaves in an attempt to give it meaning” which would make sense if the note wasn’t for the last syllable of “baby”. What I love about music is songwriting and words and emotion and those things are completely lacking on American Idol, where the goal is to provide the world with enjoyment in individually sealed packets.

Still, I doubt that we are going to find the next great band in one of these shows. There might be some with talent and maybe the next Hootie and the Blowfish is hidden in the mix. But I just can’t see a Nirvana or Sonic Youth deciding to base their future on a Fox reality show. People who are going to change the face of music aren’t going to do it through a talent show. They’re going to do it by staying true to themselves and performing what they believe in, not what Simon Cowell’s label wants them to in order to satisfy the tween demographic. Those bands are out there, you just have to search to find them.

You've got a blue eyed soul...

Best of 120 Minutes: Back in my day, we didn’t have huge portions of the DVD section at Best Buy dedicated to Anime. (Or DVD for that matter but let’s ignore that for the moment.) I couldn’t just walk into any bookstore and pick up Manga collections. Nope, back in my day if we wanted to act like we were hip to Japanese culture we had to watch Matthew Sweet videos. See how much we had to suffer compared to the kids of today? Do you know how hard it was to create a complete set of Voltron episodes on VHS? And let’s not even get into the minor differences between Battle of the Planets and G-Force. Anyway, for those who need their anime fix here is “Girlfriend.”

Bizarre TV moment of the day: Flipping on A&E and seeing the movie Mannequin. Now A&E stands for Arts and Entertainment and I’ll be damned if I can figure out how Mannequin fits into either of those categories. This would be somewhat along the lines of AMC deciding to show an Air Bud marathon. I make fun of MTV for not showing music but technically they are at least still broadcasting television.

So I went to see Wilco at the Crossroads on Saturday night. For those who don’t know their KC geography, the Crossroads is about three blocks from the new Sprint Center. This wouldn’t be an issue except that Elton John was playing the inaugural concert there at the same time thus creating a parking zoo. First off, Elton John fans aren’t the type that typically go downtown and seem to be confused by the concept of one way streets. Then there are the opportunists best exhibited by the following example.

While driving to the Crossroads I come across this guy standing in a small parking lot with a cardboard sign on which he had written “Parking - $10” with a magic marker. Now this lot is a good six blocks from the Sprint Center and about five from the Crossroads. In addition, I drive by this lot weekly when I go to the Brick and I’m almost certain that this guy had nothing to do with it. But he had it pretty filled when I drove by. I bet he pocketed $200 and then called the tow company. I admire that sort of ingenuity, I really do. Me, I parked in a free lot that Grinders had set up a block from the show.

Grinders is kind of what I assume South by Southwest is like, which I would know better if I ever made it to Austin. Basically this big open backlot covered with mulch featuring a stage, beer stands and not much else. This isn’t a problem except that we got three inches of rain on Saturday thus resulting in rather wet mulch, which when you stand on it for five hours without moving tends to cause a degree of lower back pain never before experienced. Add to that the fact that I decided to be cool and not wear a jacket, resulting in my being cool and cold. The price of fashion, I guess.

Wilco was just amazing. I’ve seen the band several times over the past decade and this might be the best I’ve ever seen them. It was definitely the happiest I’ve seen Jeff Tweedy in a long time. Typically he can get annoyed with the crowd or the band but this time he just seemed to be enjoying himself. It was interesting in that the focus was not on the latest album. They tended to play those songs almost as an afterthought to the playlist. It definitely was not a “let’s push the new disc” type of show.

Mainly because they did something I never would have expected; they played four songs off of AM. That is Wilco’s first album and my personal favorite even though it is in no way their best disc. Being a critic and a fan are really two different things. As a critic I can find flaws in AM and see how it is simple and restrained and not as technically and lyrically challenging as something like Yankee Hotel Foxtrot. The fan in me will always grab AM when I want to listen to a disc, though. It was amazing to see Wilco play these songs because for years they simply haven’t. I don’t know if I’ve ever heard them play Box Full of Letters live and it is one of my favorite songs. That really was a treat for me, it was as if the band was thanking its long time fans.

Overall, just a great show. The band was tight, the music was great and the crowd was really cool. The asshole quotient seemed to be extremely low and I didn’t even seem to be surrounded by a bunch of people more interested in talking than seeing the show. That is a rarity at a show like this and I have to say it impressed me. Add this to Arcade Fire as shows that made me wonder if there really is a music community in this town.

The five random CDs for the week:
1) Robbie Fulks “13 Hillbilly Giants”
2) Sarah McLachlan “I Will Remember You”
3) Kasey Chambers “Barricades and Brickwalls”
4) Cowboy Junkies “The Caution Horses”
5) Uncle Tupelo “Not Forever, Just For Now”

Friday cannot come soon enough...

For those reading this who also receive the Notre Dame alumni magazine you really, really need to read the class notes section. Apparently my voice mail messages are now considered newsworthy. Yep, that’s just how awesome I am. Thanks as always to the ever amazing Rosemary who always turns our class notes into something bordering on brilliance.

(Though reading in another section that two students were shot outside of Club 23 was rather disconcerting. It’s one of the reasons why I drank at the Backer though it’s not like that had a better safety record or anything. The students being robbed at Turtle Creek didn’t surprise me. After living there for two years nothing surprises me anymore. It amazed me when I moved to KC and I discovered that I no longer had people screaming outside my window on a Thursday night.)

Staying with the Notre Dame theme, does anyone know why we just exhumed George Gipp’s body? I know that we are lacking depth at running back but this is a rather drastic measure. Though a zombie George Gipp in the backfield would be rather awesome. He wouldn’t have breakaway speed but he’d be really tough to bring down. It’s just a strange story made even stranger by the fact that ESPN was filming it. Given that this is a network that feels that rodeo is suitable for ESPN Classic I sadly have to admit that this is a move in the right direction.

Anyway, the week is almost over. I am unbelievably grateful for this. I woke up yesterday and I thought “It’s nice to have a day off.” Then I realized it was Wednesday and just started swearing at random objects in my apartment. I don’t know why this week has been so draining on me. I’ve been busy at work but not overwhelmingly so. Haven’t had too many late nights with the worst being last night when I watched my tape of the Top Chef reunion special. Not sure why I needed to watch that on the same day but I did. I’ll miss the show but I will gain some free time at least until Project Runway starts up. I probably shouldn’t admit that I watch that show. Though it probably balances out the fact that last night I named random third tier G.I. Joe characters.

Oh, and I’ve been meaning to mention this all week. Given all the upheaval at my job I’ve decided to focus my attention on obtaining the Chairman’s job. Of all the high ranking executive jobs it is clearly my favorite. Mainly because it is the one where you don’t really have any defined job. You just kind of sit around and drink with the Board of Directors. That and meet with other companies and have people buy you expensive dinners. I can really see myself excelling at that type of position. I’ll even bring my own silverware.

I think that’s it for the week. Obviously I would be well served to get some sleep. Have a great weekend everyone. Go Illini and keep the streak alive. As for Notre Dame, well, if we could beat BC at some point I’d be happy. I’ve never gotten to see that happen as a student or as an alumni.

Prettiness is a virtue

Wednesday Night Music Club: On Saturday night I had one of my famous rambling conversations with long time friend of the blog Erik. As is typical of the two of us, we hit upon a variety of topics all in an effort to avoid looking at the score of the Notre Dame game. One of those topics is exactly how I discover music. And the following example is pretty typical.

If you’re in my apartment (well not now, if you’re in my apartment right now I’m really going to start freaking out) you’ll probably notice that on my fridge I have a signed set list. It is signed by the one and only Tift Merritt. How did I become a fan of someone named Tift? Simple, while leaving a Kelly Willis show I was given a handout promoting her album. There were two important parts to this promotion 1) it had positive buzz from several sources that I respected and 2) she was really cute. That’s usually enough for me. Sometimes all you want is to listen to a pretty girl with a guitar.

Anyway, this is a long way to introduce the song “Virginia, No One Can Warn You”, which is a favorite of mine. Great video as well as I’m a sucker for no edit steadicam videos. If it worked for Lisa Loeb there is no reason why it can’t work for anyone else. (I should note however that it is entirely possible that I had a relationship end due to a Tift Merritt song. Well, I feel more comfortable blaming the song as opposed to my utter stupidity. It’s a long story and will probably make up a chapter of my novel.)

Hey Garth Brooks is going to broadcast one of his KC concerts live to theaters around the country. This is..this is…really harkening back to the days of closed circuit television. I know, we’re all expecting me to make some snarky comment on Garth but I haven’t heard of a closed circuit deal for nearly twenty years. Why not just do a live pay per view Garth? If it works for Wrestlemania it will work for you. Hell, if it works for Girls Gone Wild it will work for you.

That said, if it is in theaters that will spare us from having another Ben Stiller movie filling up the enormoplex. I did like the fact that one of the blurbs for his new movie was “The funniest Ben Stiller movie ever.” That’s like the least positive comment ever. They might as well have gone with “At least the boom mike never appeared in any of the shots” or “Odds are if you fall asleep you’ll get a restful nap.” I’m sorry, I know the guy means well and I was a fan of The Ben Stiller Show but that was in 1992. And that was mainly for Jaenene Garoffolo. I really don’t need to see him in another screwball romantic comedy.

(Another great bit from The Big Bang Theory: “I propose that we meet for dinner followed by a movie, most likely a romantic comedy starring either Hugh Grant or Sandra Bullock.”)

Oh, and of course the answer to the leader of the Autobots takes a paragraph to explain. Are we talking about prior to the death of Optimus Prime or not? Do the Dinobots count as part of the Autobots or are they their own independent unit closely associated with the Autobots. Were there any cooler characters in G.I. Joe than Tomax and Xamot? Ok, that’s not a Transformers questions but identical telepathic twins who also felt each other’s pain? How cool was that?

Now excuse me, I have to go watch Mean Girls

I love the fact that people write that they “tolerate my obsessions”. I assume that they could care less about my compulsions. And it’s not that I am obsessed with my beloved Lindsay, this is simply a level of devotion quite similar to what Dante had for Beatrice. It’s all meant to inspire a work of great literature as opposed to, say, a restraining order. And anyway, given that I’m the Comptroller for the Lindsay Lohan Liberation Front it’s kind of my job. Trust me, it’s not the easiest group to keep the books clean. I’m still trying to figure out how to properly depreciate three crates of peppermint schnapps.

Of course, the reason for the comment that started the previous rant was my statements on Garth Brooks fans. Remember that I am nothing if not a music snob. I started to dislike Dave Matthews when he became popular and wouldn’t go see Coldplay just because I didn’t want to be surrounded by 20,000 people who knew nothing about music. I’m not sure why I correlate popularity with suckiness but I do. Now, as to Garth I did find out a few things that does put the story a bit more into his favor. First, the only shows that he is doing in 2007 are in KC. That explains the nine night stand but raises the question “Why not tour and why KC?” Apparently being centrally located comes in handy occasionally. Also, they aren’t using the stadium for anything else so might as well fill it with Garth.

And yeah, I can see the point that he puts on a nice show and the tickets are reasonable. It’s just music that I don’t get. I still have a hard time admitting that I listen to country music. It’s why I always use the alt-country label even though that is completely meaningless. I’ve seen Alison Krauss and Lyle Lovett this year and that is country music but I call it something else. I just have an issue with people wearing cowboy hats without irony I guess. It will be a good show but it’s just not my style.

Actually, my biggest issue is that I hang out at a bar a few blocks from the arena and I dread what the parking situation is going to be like. I’ll get a sense of it this weekend when they have the first show (Elton John) going up against a Wilco show down the street. It’s definitely going to be a clash as I’ll be amongst the Gen X hipsters at Wilco while the…while the…who the hell goes to see Elton John anyway? That’s just a show you attend to say that you saw him in concert right? I saw Fats Domino for that reason but at least I knew that was going to be a good performance. Again, I fear the mainstream. If you can sell out a basketball arena you are probably not for me.

Changing Gears Part 1: While watching the weather this weekend I noticed that there is a city named Tightwad, Missouri. First off, I am so going to retire to Tightwad. Second, any guesses as to what their high school mascot is?

Changing Gears Part 2: Sadly I didn’t win the Nobel Prize for Physics this year. Apparently my power plant consisting entirely of drinking birds is too avant garde for the establishment. Dr. Holonyak got screwed over again and he does deserve it one of these years. For those who wonder why I’m still so proud of my electrical engineering background (and the University of Illinois in particular) here is what was done by people in my program historically. John Bardeen (who passed away just before I entered Illinois) won two Nobel Prizes in Physics, one for inventing the transistor and the other for inventing the superconductor. Jack Kilby (who was still a professor emeritus when I was there but I never met) won a Nobel Prize for inventing the integrated circuit, Holonyak invented the LED. While I was there they built Mosaic, the first web browser, in the same building I was taking classes in. So pretty much the greatest inventions of the second half of the twentieth century were made by Illini.

Oh, and we also built HAL. Watch the movie, he’s born in Urbana. That’s how awesome the Illini engineering program is. We were building killer computers 40 years ago.

Free at last

A few people reading this know where I work. Others could probably figure it out without much difficulty. Most would question whether what I do should technically qualify as work but that is either here nor there at the present moment. I just want everyone to know that I am indeed applying for the CEO job. As well as the COO job. Hell, might as well go for the CFO spot as well, I’m actually qualified for that one. I’ve never before quite found myself in a company devoid of senior leadership. At least not officially devoid, I don’t know if I’ve ever worked for a company that I would trust my executives as coaches of a little league team.

Moving on to much more important news, my beloved has been released from rehab! Yes, my darling Lindsay Lohan has been freed from Le Cirque where she spent most of her time learning to…learning to…I don’t know, swing from a trapeze while symbolizing man’s inhumanity to man or something like that. I only went to Cirque du Soliel once and the tickets were free. Thankfully, my friends in the Lindsay underground (we may not be many in number but we are strong in spirit) have whisked her away from Utah and into a state where the Absolut flows freely and plentifully. Hey, how else are you going to celebrate getting out of rehab? By reading a book? By reflecting on how you threw your career down the toilet by hanging out with Paris and Britney?

It will be interesting to see how Lindsay’s next act progresses. For the moment, let’s assume that she has cleaned up her act. That’s a huge assumption but let’s give her the benefit of the doubt. Now, while she still has some court cases pending she’ll at worst get a few days in jail and a long probation. The rehab stint will help her case at least. She wouldn’t be able to get any insurance company to back her on a major film so the big studios are out. But let’s say she waits six months and then goes to New York to shoot a few indie films. No money but you know there are a few directors who would kill to put her in a film. One of those turns into a hit at Sundance and she is back in business. Hell, if Robert Downey Jr. can get his career turned around Lindsay sure can.

It’s interesting in that despite everything that she did, Lindsay in no way screwed up her career as much as Brittney. Partly that is because Brit had so much of her career built up on this clean cut image and when that was removed she lost a lot of her appeal. There’s also the whole fact that she is a mother of two acting horribly and that makes it much tougher to forgive her actions. A 20 year old Lindsay is reckless but hasn’t hurt anyone directly. Brit has some innocent bystanders. In the end though, Lindsay does have some acting talent while Brit never really had any talent in the first place. And to comeback you need to have something to comeback with.

How I Met Your Mother was much better tonight. Anything that brings back Winnie Cooper is a good thing. The fact that Winnie Cooper is now this math genius just makes her more attractive in my eyes. Yes, I find the ability to write calculus formulas immensely attractive. That explains a lot when you think about it. On that subject, I really dug The Big bang Theory tonight. Again, this show seems to be written specifically for me and thus I have no idea how it lasted three episodes. World of Warcraft jokes, dating by proposing your hypothesis and “given alcohol and poor judgment you might have a chance” just made for a great show. I’m just amazed that a show whose humor often requires a high end knowledge of theoretical physics actually got on the air.

One win from a bowl game...

Best of 120 Minutes: Figured that since I featured videos from Veruca Salt and Liz Phair over the past two weeks I might as well complete the Wicker Park triumvirate and play Urge Overkill. There was a brief moment in the early 90’s when Chicago was considered to be a hip music town. It really just consisted of these three bands and the Smashing Pumpkins (sometimes people would stretch and include Hum and Poster Children but in all honesty, I’m the only person on the planet who still remembers those bands.) It’s strange as to how few good rock bands came from Chicago. Until the early 90’s the best group was Styx as Cheap Trick is technically from Rockford. Anyway, at one point in my life I recommended Urge Overkill (and Sister Havana in particular) as proof of my awesome taste in music. Yeah, that didn’t really work out for me.

I find it incredibly funny that the first game that Notre Dame wins is the one that I don’t watch. If I watch every down they play horribly. If I avoid the game completely they pull off a big road upset. In the words of that wonderful poet Alanis Morisette, “Isn’t it ironic, don’t you think.” Well, at least I now don’t have to worry about a winless season. It’s still going to be a brutal season but that and a loss by USC makes life more bearable.

Plus, I did get to watch my Illini pull off one of their biggest wins ever. Ok, so it was a completely overranked Wisconsin team and I think that a few people had us as the favorites but damnit, we officially beat the number five team in the nation and that’s all I’m going to focus on. Do you know how long it has been since we beat a top five team? Hell, do you know how long it has been since we’ve won three conference games in a season? As always, I’m impressed by the current generation of Illini fans, who always wear orange and are loud and rambunctious. This is counter to when I was a student where we made up the most cynical fanbase ever. We booed our own team on homecoming. Admittedly, anyone who gives up a 17 point lead to Northwestern on homecoming deserves to be booed.

I’m just happy that my school is actually respectable in football again. Illinois is a school that never gets the respect it deserves. It’s one of the top schools in the country but no one ever realizes it. I was in a EE program that is equivalent to that at MIT, Stanford and Berkley but it’s tough to get anyone to admit it. Though I was happy to see that Dr. Holonyak got mentioned in the publicity commercial for the school at halftime. I met him a couple of times and the guy only invented the LED. Not a minor accomplishment.

Ok, there is one big music story that I need to touch on. As I mentioned last week, when I saw Arcade Fire with a three quarters filled Starlight I had my faith in humanity restored. Then I remembered that Garth Brooks was playing the Sprint Center in KC and I lost it again. Well, the tickets went on sale on Saturday and not only did that show sell out but they added eight additional shows. I’m not making this up. There is so much demand for Garth Brooks tickets in KC that he can sell out a basketball arena for nine consecutive nights. I’m not sure if this is a good sign for Kansas City or humanity in general.

Seriously, do you have any desire to see Garth Brooks? Even in a post-ironic “let’s make fun of the crowd” sense of the term? We’re talking about someone who hasn’t been relevant for a decade. Given that there are roughly 18,000 seats this means that nearly 150,000 people in this region want to see him play. That’s frightening. There is no other way to put it. I was one of like forty people seeing Mark Olson play. I doubt that Polyphonic Spree will sell out a small venue. But enough people for a sizable city want to see Garth. Just bizarre.

The five random CDs for the week:
1) Belly “Star”
2) Cowboy Junkies “The Trinity Sessions”
3) Bob Dylan “The Essential Bob Dylan”
4) Jack Ingram “Jack Ingram”
5) The Gourds “Shinebox”

Still wish Lia had lasted longer...

Medical update for anyone who is wondering. It looks like today will be my first day in weeks that I will make it through on just two Advil. This is down from the ten or so I was taking a day two weeks ago. And trust me, I could have chewed Advil like they were M&M’s when all of this started. My back is still sore and mornings are more than a bit of a pain but I have now progressed to the point where it no longer hurts when I breathe. So, I’m making progress. Given that I was able to stand for three hours at the Arcade Fire show I have to say that I am basically back to normal.

News item of the day that doesn’t really surprise me: Australian customs officials seized a drug shipment that was hidden inside a Mr. Potato Head doll. Outside of an AT-AT, a Mr. Potato Head is probably the most obvious place to hide drugs. Sometimes people just deserve to be caught.

So I found out today that the Notre Dame game is not going to be televised in KC on Saturday night. On one hand, this means that maybe we should have held the Home Away From Home game this weekend as at least I would have been able to see the game. On the other hand, it will be nice to have one Saturday that is not spent hurling obscenities at a television screen. Technically I can watch a game at a bar but it is one of those strip mall bars and just going into the place will make me depressed. Watching the game will just make things worse.

Heck, I can’t even win with the team in PS2. I lost to Penn State and Michigan, though I had chances to win both games. I’m just happy that I got Doctor Wang to be named players of the game. That and getting to hear “Wang unloads” and “Wang down with a sack” from the announcers. I think that it is entirely possible that I am still in the sixth grade.

Yeah, it’s just been that type of week. Not much has been going on and I’m kind of low on topics. I did watch the Top Chef finale last night and I have to say that I can’t argue with Hung winning. Some people online don’t like him because he was edited to be a villain but in reality the guy is just competitive. I completely understand why he would not help out some of the other chefs when he is competing against them. It is a competition after all. Technically, Hung is a brilliant chef. The one critique is that his food doesn’t always show the originality you would hope for and can be almost mechanical in a sense. That said, he’d be the first person I’d hire to work in my kitchen.

However, of all the contestants the one whose restaurant I would want to eat in is Dale’s. He lost because of inconsistency and a tendency to go all out and put everything on the line. But that is someone who you can tell cooks with heart and soul and his dishes seem to be flavorful and unpretentious. It’s the type of food that you know you would have a great time eating. Part of this is my standing up for a fellow Chicagoan but the dude can flat out cook. I’m happy he made it to the end.

And like most guys, I’d be more than willing to date Casey. There were some rumblings online that she only made it to the end because she was attractive but she is a really talented chef. When she was on she was dead on. I just think she needs another year or two before she really takes off. That’s what I like about Top Chef. Of all the reality competition shows this is the one where you realize that a) these people are really talented and b) they may end up with top careers as a result of it. Unlike American Idol, Top Chef will never result in anything as horrible as a Daughtry CD.

Have a great weekend everyone.

MBA = Figure Four Process

Wednesday Night Music Club: Most people know that I wear headphones for the majority of the workday. Hell, I’d wear them the entire day if I didn’t have to do things like talk to people or go to meetings. For those who wonder just what I’m listening to a lot of the time it is Kathleen Edwards. Of all the pretty girls with guitars that I listen to she is my favorite. I’m just incredibly impressed with her songwriting. It’s very natural but really engaging. Plus, I really dig this video.

Ok, I have to bring to everyone’s attention the absolute best web site ever. I believe the entire internet has been created just so that this site can exist. I am talking about www.ricflairfinance.com I know that when I think about obtaining a car loan the first thought that comes to my mind is “I bet if “Nature Boy” Ric Flair was doing the negotiations I would get an even better rate.” I mean he is a limousine riding, jet plane flying, Rolex wearing son of a gun so obviously he knows a lot about money. Well, ignoring the fact that the IRS was going after him for back taxes and all.

Now I do need to be honest here, if you asked me to list my idols Ric Flair is probably still in my top five. The guy was the greatest wrestler that I’ve ever seen. For those of you who go “but wrestling is fake” than just view that as my saying he is the best actor I’ve ever seen. For about a ten year stretch he really was the best performer in the business. The problem is he is now 57 years old and still wrestles. I don’t really want to see him wrestle anymore. I’d like him to retire with dignity and maybe this company will help him do it. Though the picture of him in his wrestling gear on the splash page is probably not the best choice.

Switching topics, my apartment complex has decided to have some fun and reseal the parking lot. Sounds simple enough but this has turned into a comedy of errors. The timeline has changed at least twice to the point that people are confused about where they can and can’t park and end up getting told. Plus, after two weeks of notices of telling us where off the property we can park I come home to a notice today saying “Oops, you really shouldn’t park there.” Also, my apartment now smells like asphalt, which is always a good thing.

Probably my biggest issue is that I now have to park my car outside for the first time in four years. To be honest, this apartment is the first time in my life that I actually had a garage I could park my car in. I never imagined that I would grow so attached to such a thing. It is surprisingly comforting to know that I don’t have to scrape the ice off the windshield or step into a car that is at 120 degrees anymore. I know it shows that my life is pretty sweet when I’m bitching about having to park a block away from my apartment but damnit, sometimes I just don’t feel like walking.

To be young is to be sad is to be high

Ok, so maybe K-Fed doesn’t have the best intentions in mind as he seeks custody. Maybe this is all a ploy for him to get more child support to help out his financial situation. In a way, that makes me all the more impressed. That would imply that K-Fed is able to perform basic math and I really thought that was well past his capabilities. The guy amazes me daily.

So, I saw Ryan Adams in concert tonight and I lived to tell the tale. The show was at the Uptown and Ryan drew the same size crowd as Weird Al (think about that and add in the fact that the Weird Al tickets were more expensive.) The show got off to an auspicious start as the 8 PM time on the ticket was replaced with an announcement of “Tonight’s performance will begin at 8:30.” First off, this meant that it was highly possible that Ryan was drunk off his ass already. It also marked the first time I’ve ever heard of one of his shows being referred to as a performance. We’re talking about a guy who couldn’t play guitar earlier this year because he broke his wrist skateboarding after having to cancel previous tours due to breaking his other wrist by falling off the stage. It’s less performance and more organized chaos.

(Oh, and Ryan didn’t seem drunk. More like hopped up on Red Bull and dealing with the fact that he quit smoking two days ago and was having serious coping issues. For a guy whose grip on reality is rather slight to begin with this is not entirely a good thing.)

In an interesting change of pace, the stage was barely lit. It was intentionally dark and given that the Uptown is a rather dark place to begin with it created this whole dangerous vibe to the entire show. Like you couldn’t tell what was going to come out of the shadows at any time. The set started off really well but seemed to peter out towards the end. Part of that is probably just my perception. While I’m a big fan of Ryan’s I kind of fell off the bandwagon a few discs ago. The music had gotten sloppy and I was pissed at him for writing a song about Beth Orton breaking up with him. I’m sorry but if you’re dumb enough to let Beth Orton get away you do not have the right to sing about it in an “oh look at how sad I am” way. Anyone with half of brain would hold on to her and not let go even if someone used the frigging jaws of life. But I digress… Basically, I’ll always like the guy for writing the lyric “So, that’s how the story goes. Can we cut to the scene where I’m holding you close” but wish that he would settle down a bit.

Easy Tiger, his latest disc, is a step in that direction but Ryan still seems hyper as hell on stage. He stormed off the stage in Minneapolis last week and seemed to be really on edge this week. He tried to do stage banter and it might have been funny to him but for those of us in the crowd it seemed off. It was also the first show I’ve ever attended where I seriously wondered if the guy was going to come out for the encore. It was a several minute wait and I really wondered if he had just gone “screw it.” You really don’t know with him.

It’s strange to see someone with that much talent not really waste it but not harness it properly. The guy releases one or two discs a year so it’s not like he isn’t productive. But you just think that with a little more work, a little more focus, a few less substances and maybe there would be utter brilliance. He’s already pulled it off a few times in his career. I just hope there is another trick up his sleeve.

K-Fed: Father of the Year

I saw what can only be described as an odd sight on the way to work today. As part of the Think Pink campaign, Kansas City has colored its fountains pink. Now I have absolutely zero problem with the cause and I hope that this raises awareness and funds. However, coloring the water pink gives a still groggy commuter on a Monday morning the disturbing impression that the fountains have started spewing blood. Given the state of Kansas City’s sewer system that actually wouldn’t surprise me.

I have to say that this was a second straight week of a weak How I Met Your Mother episode. It never really got going with three storylines being one too many. Robin pulling a gun on the people crashing in her apartment and yelling “I’m a Canadian” was surprisingly funny as was Ted’s rant about being from New York, which is really funny if you remember that he is actually from Ohio. Still, I expect a lot more from the show.

Big Bang Theory wasn’t hitting on all cylinders either. It seems to be a show with a premise and not much else. Sure, there is a lot of humor surrounding geeks trying to impress a beautiful woman but I’m not sure where they are going with it. I also don’t know why you need four geeks in the story. Two of them have no backstory at all and only seem to exist to fill in lulls in the conversation. Like I said last week, I dig any show that discusses the physics of Superman but that doesn’t get a show renewed.

(Ok, the sarcasm sign was funny.)

Obviously the big news is that Britney Spears is going to lose custody of her sons: Sean Preston and whatever the name of the other one is. Here is sign number one that your life is completely screwed up: when a court of law determines that Kevin Federline is a better parent than you are. Actually, let’s give K-Fed some credit here as he is actively seeking custody and showing some interest in the well being of his kids. I honestly did not expect that from him. Sure, he is still a douchebag but at least he is a considerate douchebag.

But wow, talking about falling so far so fast. I’m not saying that Britney was talented or anything, she was well produced and vaguely attractive though I never quite got what the big deal was. But she was undoubtedly one of the biggest stars on the planet for a time and now she is just a walking punchline. Or more like a stumbling punchline. I think this is what happens to child stars who never bother to have even a modicum of a normal existence. They have no idea what the real world is actually like and have no idea of life outside of a trailer on set (or in Britney’s case, trailers in general). It doesn’t have to be that way. Look at Natalie Portman, she’s been a movie star since she was thirteen but she took time to go to the Ivy League and get centered in life. Sometimes it is best to not be in the spotlight.

On the plus side, at least now my beloved Lindsay is no longer the biggest screw up on the planet.