Perfect Mates Revisited

Today’s selection for the Wednesday Night Music Club is the band I get to see next month, the incomparable Arcade Fire. Another show from the Netherlands and I wish the Dutch would be a little more enterprising and activate my login so I could post just one song and not the entire hour and a half concert. Anyway, listen to the third song of the show “No Cars Go” as it has my vote to be named the new national anthem of Canada.

My Perfect Mate list came up in conversation tonight (and has been mentioned in passing last week) so I thought that it would be time to reexamine it. For those not familiar with the concept, a Perfect Mate is someone who, if they knocked on my door right now with a priest standing beside them and said “EC, wanna get married? Now or never” I would say yes without even hesitating. And by marry I mean to death do us part. These are women who I will gladly sit next to in matching recliners when I am eighty-five years old talking about how the neighbor mowed the lawn today. So this is a list of women who exemplify what I find beautiful and amazing and fascinating. Here is the list from 2004, the last time I posted it.

# 10: Kate Beckinsale
# 9: Beth Orton
#8: Martina Hingis
#7: Parker Posey
#6: Gwyneth Paltrow
#5: Kirsten Dunst
#4: Neko Case
#3: Kelly Willis
#2: Natalie Portman
#1: Julie Delpy

On the whole, I’m still pretty happy with the list. Kate Beckinsale has fallen off as I hate the roles she has taken as of late. I’m pretty sure that starring in an Adam Sandler comedy pretty much disqualifies you from being viewed as attractive in my mind. If she makes Last Days of Disco Part 2 then maybe we’ll talk.

I know I discussed Neko as a voice crush but really Beth Orton is truly my voice crush. I’m the only music critic who named Comfort of Strangers album of the year and I still find her voice to be the most amazing thing around. It is beautifully flawed with nooks and crevices that provides mystery to the simplest song. That’s not something you say about someone like Kelly Clarkson.

Martina Hingis (who is Czech, not Swiss) would probably still be on the list as I need there to be at least one nice Czech girl I could marry and make my family happy. The rest would all be supermodels and to be honest, I’d prefer a tennis player. I could add Lisa Hannigan to the list to provide a nice Irish girl as well for symmetry. Parker Posey and Gwyneth Paltrow could be on the list or could maybe drop. They both exemplify qualities I love (indie coolness and intelligent grace, respectfully) but they might not deserve that ranking.

Kirsten Dunst is an interesting case as she is falling fast. Not as much due to anything she’s done and more due to the fact that I saw a picture of her feet online and, well, they made you rethink things. See, this is something Dante never had to deal with. He could love Beatrice from afar and not have to worry about coming across pictures of the love of his life online featuring a foot rash so severe that I’d be in a doctor’s office and not wearing sandals on a red carpet. Also, she’s lost too much weight and seems to think that the Spider-Man franchise revolves around Mary Jane, which costs her serious points.

The top four would still be my top four. Maybe a slightly different order. Neko could be third just due to her overall coolness. Julie and Natalie would be first or second and I could just flip a coin to figure who would win. Given that my new laptop is named Natalie while my old one was Julie that’s probably a sign though to be honest I’d actually mesh better with Julie. Still, those are my top four.

You might notice that I didn’t mention Kelly yet. There’s a reason. A very good reason. Because I just got back from seeing her in concert and I’m still bouncing off the walls. A full story in the next post, complete with pictures. Including the most awesomest picture ever. Stay tuned.