Super Blog II

4:44 P.M.: Coming to you live from the living room couch at Battling the Current headquarters it is Super Blog 2. Featuring a cast of…well, actually it’s just me here. Dude, this Super Bowl party sucks. Oh well, at least this way I don’t have to worry about anybody else getting to all the good beer before I do.

4:46 P.M.: As always, here are the ground rules. I’m going to watch the Super Bowl and keep a journal of all my comments on the night. Think of me as the wiseguy sitting in the back of the room, except that I’m writing everything down. Like why do we have Joss Stone as a part of the pregame festivities? We’re in Motown and that is like the equivalent of having a tribute band as your featured entertainment.

4:55 P.M.: Ah, Hank Williams Jr. proof once again that talent skips a generation in the Williams household.

4:56 P.M.: Dude, is this a home game for Pittsburgh? Lots of terrible towels in the crowd.

5:02 P.M.: Desmond Howard was an MVP? Yeesh, I think I tried to forget that game. And Mark Rypien? But here comes my man, the sack man Richard Dent.

5:09 P.M.: I don’t know if I would want to have my team run onto the field to The Verve’s “Bittersweet Symphony.” It’s Seattle, we could at least have used an old Pearl Jam riff. However, I once again would like to than the New England Patriots for getting rid of the “Introduce each player individually” portion of the pre-game show, which was the dullest ten minutes in football.

5:17 P.M.: The continuing popularity of Jessica Simpson continues to baffle me. Please tell me what aspect of her personality or her look is supposed to be attractive. I mean, she looks like if you exposed her to an open flame she’d melt.

5:18 P.M.: Harrison Ford, please remember that you are in your sixties now. I know the last time we heard form you you were dating Lara Flynn Boyle but still, ditch the earring.

5:19 P.M.: Come on, bring on the coin flip. I’ve got fifty bucks on heads.

5:23 P.M.: As always, all of America needs to have it explained which side is heads and which side is tails.

5:24 P.M.: It’s tails. God I hate Tom Brady. The bastard costs me fifty bucks in games that he isn’t even playing in.

5:25 P.M.: We have Suzy Kobler and Joe Namath in the same place. Please, please, please have her interview him again. It would be television history.

5:26 P.M.: Blockbuster Online, otherwise known as, “Stop using NetFlix, please? I mean, sure we were the most evil corporation in history but we promise we’ll be good from now on.”

5:32 P.M.: Bud Light gets first commercial of the evening. And Burger King is continuing with their tradition of extremely disturbing commercials. I can do without a Busby Berkley montage featuring women dressed as condiments. But maybe that’s just me.

5:51 P.M.: V for Vendetta, one of the few films that I am looking forward to seeing. If only because Natalie Portman may be the only actress who can make a shaved head appear attractive.

5:56 P.M.: That was a weak offensive pass interference call on Seattle. He barely touched the guy when he switched directions. Could have been a touchdown.

5:58 P.M.: Yay, we finally have points. Josh Brown, a two year veteran of my fantasy team, hits a long field goal.

6:00 P.M.: Random news note of the night #1: They are going to release a four disc DVD set of the best of The Electric Company. Cool, I’ll get to learn how to read all over again and enjoy the work of Morgan Freeman.

6:05 P.M.: You know, it might be nice if Pittsburgh decided to play offense. They certainly didn’t in the first quarter.

6:14 P.M.: Good commercial for Mobile ESPN. Still doesn’t explain exactly what the product does, but a ton of good visuals in the spot.

6:17 P.M.: Monkeys! First rule of advertising, anything that can be promoted can be promoted better through the use of a monkey.

6:21 P.M.: Does anyone want to cheer Tom Cruise in a movie? Honestly, is there a less liked pop culture figure right now? In MI:3 I bet you that the crowd will be cheering every time he gets hurt.

6:27 P.M.: First really good commercial with extreme Kermit. Though the Michelob Ultra ad has the greatest disparity between the awesomeness of the ad and the dismalness of the product.

6:28 P.M.: I’d talk more about the game but there just hasn’t been anything to talk about. It’s better than a blow out but it just hasn’t been much of a game so far.

6:41 P.M.: Big Ben did not make it in on that bootleg. It was the right call to run a bootleg but he was definitely stopped short.

6:43 P.M.: Dude, they just do not want Seattle to win this game. Ben definitely did not break the plane of the end zone.

6:55 P.M.: And it’s halftime, which means that it’s time for Lingerie Bowl III! Just kidding. I mean, it is on but I’ll stick with the scheduled programming.

6:56 P.M.: Hey, Sprint has a commercial. I’ll, I’ll, I’ll just keep my mouth shut.

6:59 P.M.: This has nothing to do with the game but it is one of the biggest news events of the weekend for me. Not only do we have the Lisa Loeb dating show on E! right now but there are two major Lisa Loeb events from this weekend. The first is that they are releasing a best of Lisa Loeb CD. Yes, an entire CD. Someone sat down and actually chose 14 songs. You don’t need 14, all you need is Stay. The other is courtesy of VH-1’s Best Week Ever. Apparently, while she was on Isaac Mizrahi’s show she showed off her thong. Having viewed the footage that may have been Lisa’s best career move in a good decade. It completely goes against her image and has nothing to do with music but hey, publicity is publicity.

7:11 P.M.: Ok, who told the Rolling Stones to play a song that isn’t one of their hits? None of us are watching this for their great musicianship any more so just play Satisfaction or I’ll switch the channel to a Simpson’s episode that I saw before and it wasn’t even funny then.

7:17 P.M.: Just for the record, there are certain people who just shouldn’t be seen in high definition. Mick Jagger and Keith Richards are pretty high on that list. Definitely not the most telegenic band of all time.

7:33 P.M.: Fast Willie Parker just broke a huge run to start off the second half. Now Pittsburgh will get to play their style of football. Mainly run the ball and just keep the clock running.

7:42 P.M.: Josh Brown misses yet another field goal showing why I won’t be drafting him next year. And you know what else I miss? Bud Bowl. Is it that difficult to animate beer bottles playing football? I mean, I used to gamble on the outcome of the game. Now that was a good commercial. Of course, we have also just had a Fabio sighting. Fabio, proving that all you need to make it in this world is really good hair.

7:45 P.M.: Remember that time when Fabio got hit in the face by a seagull while he rode on a roller coaster? That was awesome.

7:50 P.M.: Hummer wins for weirdest commercial. Giant Robot and Monster have a baby car. How can you have a commercial with a giant robot that sucks? I mean, that is just behind monkeys in the marketing handbook.

7:52 P.M.: Huge interception by the Seahawks. We might have a game of this yet though that was a really ill advised pass by Ben. He just lofted the ball up there with a DB hanging behind the man.

7:54 P.M.: Touchdown Seahawks as Jeremy Stevens finally catches the ball. We can officially state that momentum has shifted.

7:56 P.M.: Random news note of the night # 2: I’ve once again received my Jackson County property tax form. Once again I have to declare how many gilts I have. I mean, I didn’t know that there was technically a measurement system for guilt. Also, I have to report all of my poultry. This is understandable as I do run that free range chicken ranch in my apartment. Ok, it’s not that much of a free range but it is a two bedroom apartment so they have some room to move around in.

8:15 P.M.: A Benny Hill reference? I…I…I better show that discretion is the better part of valor.

8:27 P.M.: The gadget play works and Antawn Randle El becomes the first point guard to throw a touchdown pass in the Super Bowl. Seattle now has a lot of ground to try to make up in less than nine minutes.

8:30 P.M.: Once again we show that the blog is on the leading edge of the pop culture curve as we beat a national MacGyver reference to the punch by a good week. Though it looks like he cut back on the super mullet, which is a travesty.

8:35 P.M.: Well, if that Hasselbeck fumble stands everyone will know what I meant by saying that having Matt Hasselbeck on your team is like getting punched in the groin repeatedly. You know it’s coming but that just doesn’t make it any easier.

8:52 P.M.: The Steelers are just going to run out the clock. Seattle does what Seattle always does, they get really close to winning but never quite get there. I think they’ll win for the newest tortured sports town.

9:02 P.M.: Steelers win. Congrats to Bettis and company.

The five random CDs for the week:
1) Sinead Lohan “No Mermaid”
2) Blue Rodeo “The Days In Between”
3) Son Volt “A Retrospective: 1995 to 2000”
4) U2 “The Unforgettable Fire”
5) Josh Rouse “Under Cold Blue Stars”