Monday, February 20, 2006

Swimming to Oblivion

(In an attempt to shake things up a little I’ve changed the background on my desktop. Those of you who know me, especially those who sat behind me in business school, know that this just means that I switched which picture of Julie Delpy is currently greeting me when I turn on the machine. I don’t really consider it an obsession, more like a habit that has lasted over a decade.)

It’s February and that means one thing. Actually, it means a lot of things like rodents seeing their shadows, an unending month of gray days, and the fact that my not being in a relationship is apparently damaging to the US economy. But what it really means, and what it has meant since my youth, is that it is time for the Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Issue. Since the issue came in the mail last week I figured that I might as well give my impression. Which is, meh.

The swimsuit issue may be one cultural artifact that has seemingly lost all meaning and ability to raise any controversy. When I was a kid this was a major event. Sure, teenage hormones and access to only basic cable probably played a role in this but it was a big deal. There was basically a cult around the beauty of Kathy Ireland, who was unknown outside of that one week in February. (A cult that lasted until she started talking and, even worse, acting. When the highlight of your career is a film that was ridiculed on MST3K you really should stick to modeling). Even in college, this was the biggest week of the year as those of us with SI subscriptions became extremely popular. So what’s happened?

A bunch of things. First, I still think it jumped the shark when it became its own issue. Part of the charm (and thrill) was that it was just a regular issue of SI, which just happened to have girls in bathing suits in it this time around. Now it is its own issue and it’s like some weird fashion magazine. Plus this means that we get even more strange articles on the intricacies of photo shoots when most of us would rather read analysis of the Daytona 500 (look, cars going around in circles is more exciting than reading about having to get up at dawn to get the good light). Now it is an event and it just can’t live up to its own hype.

Plus, we now live in a world of Maxim and FHM and all the various offshoots. It just isn’t a big deal for a guy to buy a magazine with pretty pictures in them any more. The Swimsuit Issue used to be this big excuse to see what is now on every newsstand every day of the year. It’s just taken all of the uniqueness out of the thing. And that’s sad, more from a societal standpoint than anything. I mean, every other sociology student is writing a thesis on the pornification of America but it is a real point. I’m the free speech advocate but even I look at what is on display and think that there is no way that this could be healthy. Especially when it isn’t done for beauty or art or even self-expression, it’s just commerce, pure and simple.

SI tries to make it interesting. They brought Elle back, which is always cool. And Maria Sharapova made an appearance (following in the footsteps of Anna Kornikova and Steffi Graf) and that was greatly appreciated. Though someone should tell her to look like she is enjoying herself the next time around. Seriously, smile a little. But you know what, it just doesn’t really matter anymore. In a few weeks I’ll read the letters of people canceling their subscriptions and I’ll wonder, “If this makes you cancel a subscription how do you handle society? Can you unsubscribe from life?”

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