6:10 AM: Woken up by alarm clock
6:11 AM: Slam down snooze alarm in an effort to restart dream that I was just having involving Kirsten Dunst, Natalie Portman, and a lot of champagne
6:15 AM: Have the secondary alarm clock (located across the room from the primary alarm clock) go off. Wonder just why I always have to be so damn logical about everything.
6:16 AM: Get out of bed, turn off alarms and look out the window to realize that I am still in Kansas City
6:17 AM: Shake fist at sky and curse my fate for a good five minutes
6:25 AM: Shower, shave and go through all of the steps required to make myself passable as a human being
6:35 AM: Turn on local morning news
6:40 AM: Hear newscaster mention, “The police action in Westport is ending…”
6:41 AM: Look out window and wave at the police officers
6:50 AM: Breakfast consisting of Rice Krispies. As I bring the spoon to my mouth suddenly realize what my ex-girlfriend meant when she said that I had the emotional maturity of an eight year old
7:10 AM: Get in car to make my way to work, putting in one of the random CDs of the week.
7:15 AM: Wonder just how high I could have been to make buying a Natalie Imbrigulia CD seem like a good idea
8:00 AM: Make it to my cube, having encountered the most traffic in the office parking lot.
8:30 AM: Go to get coffee and see that once again someone has decided to use the decaf coffee pot to make super caffeinated coffee.
8:31 AM: Shake fist at sky and curse my fate for a good five minutes
8:40 AM: Walk through two buildings just to buy decaf coffee
8:41 AM: Walk back realizing that I’ve basically spent two bucks and fifteen minutes to buy warm, bitter water
9:00 AM: Check email and see that Super Dave made another comment on my blog at two in the morning. Wonder just what I could have written about that would be important enough to comment on at two in the morning, much less read
9:30 AM: Get serious about working by playing The Postal Service’s “Give Up”. Remember to thank Super Dave for telling me about the disc a year ago even though it took me that long to actually buy it. Hum "Such Great Heights" for the rest of the day.
10:45 AM: Receive phone call from literary agent stating, “Look, just because you can prove that five people have read your blog doesn’t mean that we can just print up the whole thing and assume that anyone would buy it. To start with, you would really need to increase the Voltron references.”
11:27 AM: Get sidetracked by a thought on Celebrity Fit Club. Why is Young MC referred to as “Young” by the people running the show like it is his first name? Wouldn’t that be equivalent of calling Vanilla Ice simply Vanilla? And how the hell is he not on this show?
12:10 PM: Lunchtime. Order a salad. Look at watch and realize I can now pinpoint the exact moment at which I completely lost my mind.
1:15 PM: Realize that the spreadsheet I had spent the morning working on is referencing the wrong information and thus making the past few hours meaningless
1:16 PM: Shake fist at sky and curse my fate for a good five minutes
(Part 2 next week. Where you will get to find out just what happens when EC leaves the office…)
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