My quick take on the president’s address. 1) Nice to see that we are pushing for more math and science in the classrooms. Of course, this is coming from a man who is on the record for believing in intelligent design over evolution. So, we’ll teach the kids science, it just won’t be good science. 2) And what is this about banning human-animal hybrids? I’ve put in decades of work towards creating the first Mog (half man half dog). It’s been my dream ever since that wonderful night nearly twenty years ago when I first saw Spaceballs. They are just trying to legislate away my dreams now. 3) For the record, the only part of the U.S. economy that has seen job gains in the Bush administration is the federal government. It’s been the exact opposite of small government. This isn’t just my liberal complaint, I heard that stat from Joe Scarborough who leans so far to the right that he needs a crutch to stand up straight.
However, I am all for trying to gain energy independence. If you believe what George Soros is saying, $200 a barrel oil is in the future, which would not cripple the American economy as much as reshape American society. It would result in a lot less cars, a lot more public transportation and a return to the concept of the neighborhood. While I am for all of those things I would much rather have a society where we just naturally move towards using less energy. It doesn’t take much to look at the weather and the air and figure out that we have had a major impact on the planet and that it just simply isn’t sustainable. To think that we can go forward at this pace and bring the rest of the world along with us will just lead us to disaster. (Years ago, back when I was in high school, I heard this point and it has always stuck with me. Imagine a billion Chinese all with freon in their refrigerators and gas guzzling cars. Think that won’t change the world’s weather?) At some point, we have to admit that we need renewable energy and yes, nuclear power.
(Ok, maybe that last point is only because I did my time in the nuclear reactor and don’t know why anyone else should be deprived of such a character building experience.)
But maybe I should be hopeful about all of this. Maybe we will be building a generation of well qualified engineers. I would hope to see that but even I wonder since I left that career path to enter the world of high finance and that is a really non-trivial point. I am in no way unusual in that I gave up a really good engineering job mainly because I realized that if I didn’t I would be destined to spend the next twenty years stuck in a cubicle. (Of course, I’m still in a cubicle but ignore that point for the time being.) It’s not enough to train people for these careers, I would like there to be an actual shift in the culture to that scientists are actually respected again. I grew up in the end days of NASA’s glory years and watching and learning about the space program is what brought me into the field. I saw what they did and thought that it was incredible. I don’t know if there is any modern equivalent. And when intelligent design is pushed as a valid idea, I know that we have a long way to go to change things.
Tuesday, January 31, 2006
Monday, January 30, 2006
Billboard banter
Three things, one based on a comment and two from driving around last night…
First, I am also amazed that MacGyver the movie has not been greenlighted yet. I know that he doesn’t use guns and that takes away from some of the huge action scenes but still, this would definitely rank above my spec script for Simon and Simon. I even checked online and didn’t see anything about any plans (and if it is not in Wikipedia it is not happening). We’ve pretty much already written the opening scene, MacGyver is grabbed off the ice of a celebrity hockey game and thrust back into service. Because even in a fictional world MacGyver would be a celebrity. I mean, the announcer would just announce him as MacGyver and someone in the crowd would go, “Hey Maurice, who the hell is that guy” and the other guy would go, “Come on Guy, it’s friggin MacGyver. He’s the guy who MacGyvers everything together.” There, first ten minutes of the movie done.
Next, I saw this a few times last night on my way back and forth to Lawrence. There were several houses that still had their Christmas lights on, including one that featured blinking Christmas canes. I’m not talking about the lights still being wrapped around the house, they were all plugged in. It’s the end of January people, we’ve already crossed the line from kitschy to just really trashy here. You can’t even use weather as an excuse since it’s been in the sixties for the past few weeks. At least have the decency to unplug them. It’s great that you have Christmas spirit and all but the rest of us are putting up our Groundhog Day decorations and if you can’t get with the program it will really screw up the entire neighborhood motif.
The last thing is probably the most interesting and most important. When you turn off of K-10 and on to Mass. St. in Lawrence you pass by this church that always has clever sayings on its message boards. You know, a few puns that try to make you aware that you haven’t been to church this decade and you really should start now. Well, last night they had one that has stuck in my head. It read, “You will never B good enough 4 heaven.”
That’s a rather sobering thought. It’s like they are telling you to just throw up your hands because no matter what you do, you are destined to a life in a rather warm climate. I don’t know if I’ve ever seen anything quite like that on a church sign, it is truly a negative connotation. It’s like a parent telling you that you will never amount to anything. I mean, you read that and you wonder, “What is the point of being good then?”
Of course, if you dig in a little deeper theologically speaking, you can understand that as individuals none of us possess the qualities needed for heaven but through God’s grace and mercy we can cross that threshold. But that’s a pretty deep thought and not one you are going to have when seeing a sign out of the corner of your eye at thirty miles an hour. Maybe the fact that I’ve spent a day wondering what they meant by the sign is the entire point. They made me reflect, which makes it very effective advertising and/or proselytizing. Still, I would rather avoid a church that starts off by going, “You’ll never be good enough. You’ll always be a failure.” I’d prefer a religion that is a little bit more upbeat, a little bit more forgiving.
(End note: I’ve decided to give this another try. Once again I’m going to do a “readers choose the topic” entry. Last time this resulted in two days of writing about the decline of the music industry. Just send me a topic, any topic, any question, that’s the challenge and that’s the risk. We’ll see what happens.)
First, I am also amazed that MacGyver the movie has not been greenlighted yet. I know that he doesn’t use guns and that takes away from some of the huge action scenes but still, this would definitely rank above my spec script for Simon and Simon. I even checked online and didn’t see anything about any plans (and if it is not in Wikipedia it is not happening). We’ve pretty much already written the opening scene, MacGyver is grabbed off the ice of a celebrity hockey game and thrust back into service. Because even in a fictional world MacGyver would be a celebrity. I mean, the announcer would just announce him as MacGyver and someone in the crowd would go, “Hey Maurice, who the hell is that guy” and the other guy would go, “Come on Guy, it’s friggin MacGyver. He’s the guy who MacGyvers everything together.” There, first ten minutes of the movie done.
Next, I saw this a few times last night on my way back and forth to Lawrence. There were several houses that still had their Christmas lights on, including one that featured blinking Christmas canes. I’m not talking about the lights still being wrapped around the house, they were all plugged in. It’s the end of January people, we’ve already crossed the line from kitschy to just really trashy here. You can’t even use weather as an excuse since it’s been in the sixties for the past few weeks. At least have the decency to unplug them. It’s great that you have Christmas spirit and all but the rest of us are putting up our Groundhog Day decorations and if you can’t get with the program it will really screw up the entire neighborhood motif.
The last thing is probably the most interesting and most important. When you turn off of K-10 and on to Mass. St. in Lawrence you pass by this church that always has clever sayings on its message boards. You know, a few puns that try to make you aware that you haven’t been to church this decade and you really should start now. Well, last night they had one that has stuck in my head. It read, “You will never B good enough 4 heaven.”
That’s a rather sobering thought. It’s like they are telling you to just throw up your hands because no matter what you do, you are destined to a life in a rather warm climate. I don’t know if I’ve ever seen anything quite like that on a church sign, it is truly a negative connotation. It’s like a parent telling you that you will never amount to anything. I mean, you read that and you wonder, “What is the point of being good then?”
Of course, if you dig in a little deeper theologically speaking, you can understand that as individuals none of us possess the qualities needed for heaven but through God’s grace and mercy we can cross that threshold. But that’s a pretty deep thought and not one you are going to have when seeing a sign out of the corner of your eye at thirty miles an hour. Maybe the fact that I’ve spent a day wondering what they meant by the sign is the entire point. They made me reflect, which makes it very effective advertising and/or proselytizing. Still, I would rather avoid a church that starts off by going, “You’ll never be good enough. You’ll always be a failure.” I’d prefer a religion that is a little bit more upbeat, a little bit more forgiving.
(End note: I’ve decided to give this another try. Once again I’m going to do a “readers choose the topic” entry. Last time this resulted in two days of writing about the decline of the music industry. Just send me a topic, any topic, any question, that’s the challenge and that’s the risk. We’ll see what happens.)
Sunday, January 29, 2006
A very slow weekend
(Look, I just said that I was going to try to be creative on Thursday nights. I never said that it would be good. It’s been a while since I’ve tried truly original pieces that aren’t taken directly from my life so it will be some time before I get back into the habit. Actually, since it was called “A Day in the Life…” maybe I should just blame my lifestyle given that it was pretty much taken directly from my life.)
We’ll start off with some good news. I have redeemed myself in the trivia world with a solid third place finish in last week’s game. While that just meant that I had the highest score of the teams that didn’t win any money at least I am no longer worrying about my memory. I mean, I remembered that Attilla the Hun died of a nosebleed, that Billy Wilder directed Sunset Boulevard and that Nicole Kidman was just named a UN ambassador. So my impending senility will be delayed by at least one more week.
This is one of those really odd weekends since there truly isn’t anything going on. It’s the off week before the Super Bowl so unless you want to watch the pregame show a week ahead of time there really isn’t much in the way of football. Though I did work out to the Arena Football game. Arena Football is a great sport to work out to, everytime you look up someone has scored. It’s like short attention span football. Plus, now that Kansas City has a team I have to be up to date on all of the teams and the strategies because that is all that will be discussed on sports radio. What else are we going to talk about? The Royals?
There weren’t even any good college basketball games on this weekend. Duke ran through Virginia with J. J. Reddick hitting every shot in sight. We did have in the first minute of the game absolute proof why everyone thinks that Duke gets all the calls when Reddick hits a shot from a good two feet inside the line and is given credit for a three pointer. Notre Dame lost another close game, this time to Villanova. I hate to say this as a Domer, but we might as well just start counting the days to the Blue-Gold game.
Sadly, that pretty much describes my weekend so far. Trivia, watching basketball, and if you add in doing laundry and cleaning my apartment you’ve pretty much covered my action packed weekend. Of course, that is changing tonight (and the reason why I am writing this so early) as I am heading off to my first concert of the year. Technically, the first concert that I’ve had to buy a ticket for this year. Heading off to see the critical darling Aimee Mann in what should be a good show. Haven’t seen her in concert before but everything that I’ve read has been good. I’ll be the one yelling, “Bring back ‘Til Tuesday”. I’ll give the review tomorrow.
The five random CDs for the week
1) R.E.M. “Life’s Rich Pageant”
2) Sarah McLachlan “Rarities, B-Sides and Other Stuff”
3) Jack Ingram “Hey You”
4) The Freddy Jones Band “The Freddy Jones Band”
5) The Corn Sisters “The Other Women”
We’ll start off with some good news. I have redeemed myself in the trivia world with a solid third place finish in last week’s game. While that just meant that I had the highest score of the teams that didn’t win any money at least I am no longer worrying about my memory. I mean, I remembered that Attilla the Hun died of a nosebleed, that Billy Wilder directed Sunset Boulevard and that Nicole Kidman was just named a UN ambassador. So my impending senility will be delayed by at least one more week.
This is one of those really odd weekends since there truly isn’t anything going on. It’s the off week before the Super Bowl so unless you want to watch the pregame show a week ahead of time there really isn’t much in the way of football. Though I did work out to the Arena Football game. Arena Football is a great sport to work out to, everytime you look up someone has scored. It’s like short attention span football. Plus, now that Kansas City has a team I have to be up to date on all of the teams and the strategies because that is all that will be discussed on sports radio. What else are we going to talk about? The Royals?
There weren’t even any good college basketball games on this weekend. Duke ran through Virginia with J. J. Reddick hitting every shot in sight. We did have in the first minute of the game absolute proof why everyone thinks that Duke gets all the calls when Reddick hits a shot from a good two feet inside the line and is given credit for a three pointer. Notre Dame lost another close game, this time to Villanova. I hate to say this as a Domer, but we might as well just start counting the days to the Blue-Gold game.
Sadly, that pretty much describes my weekend so far. Trivia, watching basketball, and if you add in doing laundry and cleaning my apartment you’ve pretty much covered my action packed weekend. Of course, that is changing tonight (and the reason why I am writing this so early) as I am heading off to my first concert of the year. Technically, the first concert that I’ve had to buy a ticket for this year. Heading off to see the critical darling Aimee Mann in what should be a good show. Haven’t seen her in concert before but everything that I’ve read has been good. I’ll be the one yelling, “Bring back ‘Til Tuesday”. I’ll give the review tomorrow.
The five random CDs for the week
1) R.E.M. “Life’s Rich Pageant”
2) Sarah McLachlan “Rarities, B-Sides and Other Stuff”
3) Jack Ingram “Hey You”
4) The Freddy Jones Band “The Freddy Jones Band”
5) The Corn Sisters “The Other Women”
Thursday, January 26, 2006
A Day in the Life of EC (Part 1)
6:10 AM: Woken up by alarm clock
6:11 AM: Slam down snooze alarm in an effort to restart dream that I was just having involving Kirsten Dunst, Natalie Portman, and a lot of champagne
6:15 AM: Have the secondary alarm clock (located across the room from the primary alarm clock) go off. Wonder just why I always have to be so damn logical about everything.
6:16 AM: Get out of bed, turn off alarms and look out the window to realize that I am still in Kansas City
6:17 AM: Shake fist at sky and curse my fate for a good five minutes
6:25 AM: Shower, shave and go through all of the steps required to make myself passable as a human being
6:35 AM: Turn on local morning news
6:40 AM: Hear newscaster mention, “The police action in Westport is ending…”
6:41 AM: Look out window and wave at the police officers
6:50 AM: Breakfast consisting of Rice Krispies. As I bring the spoon to my mouth suddenly realize what my ex-girlfriend meant when she said that I had the emotional maturity of an eight year old
7:10 AM: Get in car to make my way to work, putting in one of the random CDs of the week.
7:15 AM: Wonder just how high I could have been to make buying a Natalie Imbrigulia CD seem like a good idea
8:00 AM: Make it to my cube, having encountered the most traffic in the office parking lot.
8:30 AM: Go to get coffee and see that once again someone has decided to use the decaf coffee pot to make super caffeinated coffee.
8:31 AM: Shake fist at sky and curse my fate for a good five minutes
8:40 AM: Walk through two buildings just to buy decaf coffee
8:41 AM: Walk back realizing that I’ve basically spent two bucks and fifteen minutes to buy warm, bitter water
9:00 AM: Check email and see that Super Dave made another comment on my blog at two in the morning. Wonder just what I could have written about that would be important enough to comment on at two in the morning, much less read
9:30 AM: Get serious about working by playing The Postal Service’s “Give Up”. Remember to thank Super Dave for telling me about the disc a year ago even though it took me that long to actually buy it. Hum "Such Great Heights" for the rest of the day.
10:45 AM: Receive phone call from literary agent stating, “Look, just because you can prove that five people have read your blog doesn’t mean that we can just print up the whole thing and assume that anyone would buy it. To start with, you would really need to increase the Voltron references.”
11:27 AM: Get sidetracked by a thought on Celebrity Fit Club. Why is Young MC referred to as “Young” by the people running the show like it is his first name? Wouldn’t that be equivalent of calling Vanilla Ice simply Vanilla? And how the hell is he not on this show?
12:10 PM: Lunchtime. Order a salad. Look at watch and realize I can now pinpoint the exact moment at which I completely lost my mind.
1:15 PM: Realize that the spreadsheet I had spent the morning working on is referencing the wrong information and thus making the past few hours meaningless
1:16 PM: Shake fist at sky and curse my fate for a good five minutes
(Part 2 next week. Where you will get to find out just what happens when EC leaves the office…)
6:11 AM: Slam down snooze alarm in an effort to restart dream that I was just having involving Kirsten Dunst, Natalie Portman, and a lot of champagne
6:15 AM: Have the secondary alarm clock (located across the room from the primary alarm clock) go off. Wonder just why I always have to be so damn logical about everything.
6:16 AM: Get out of bed, turn off alarms and look out the window to realize that I am still in Kansas City
6:17 AM: Shake fist at sky and curse my fate for a good five minutes
6:25 AM: Shower, shave and go through all of the steps required to make myself passable as a human being
6:35 AM: Turn on local morning news
6:40 AM: Hear newscaster mention, “The police action in Westport is ending…”
6:41 AM: Look out window and wave at the police officers
6:50 AM: Breakfast consisting of Rice Krispies. As I bring the spoon to my mouth suddenly realize what my ex-girlfriend meant when she said that I had the emotional maturity of an eight year old
7:10 AM: Get in car to make my way to work, putting in one of the random CDs of the week.
7:15 AM: Wonder just how high I could have been to make buying a Natalie Imbrigulia CD seem like a good idea
8:00 AM: Make it to my cube, having encountered the most traffic in the office parking lot.
8:30 AM: Go to get coffee and see that once again someone has decided to use the decaf coffee pot to make super caffeinated coffee.
8:31 AM: Shake fist at sky and curse my fate for a good five minutes
8:40 AM: Walk through two buildings just to buy decaf coffee
8:41 AM: Walk back realizing that I’ve basically spent two bucks and fifteen minutes to buy warm, bitter water
9:00 AM: Check email and see that Super Dave made another comment on my blog at two in the morning. Wonder just what I could have written about that would be important enough to comment on at two in the morning, much less read
9:30 AM: Get serious about working by playing The Postal Service’s “Give Up”. Remember to thank Super Dave for telling me about the disc a year ago even though it took me that long to actually buy it. Hum "Such Great Heights" for the rest of the day.
10:45 AM: Receive phone call from literary agent stating, “Look, just because you can prove that five people have read your blog doesn’t mean that we can just print up the whole thing and assume that anyone would buy it. To start with, you would really need to increase the Voltron references.”
11:27 AM: Get sidetracked by a thought on Celebrity Fit Club. Why is Young MC referred to as “Young” by the people running the show like it is his first name? Wouldn’t that be equivalent of calling Vanilla Ice simply Vanilla? And how the hell is he not on this show?
12:10 PM: Lunchtime. Order a salad. Look at watch and realize I can now pinpoint the exact moment at which I completely lost my mind.
1:15 PM: Realize that the spreadsheet I had spent the morning working on is referencing the wrong information and thus making the past few hours meaningless
1:16 PM: Shake fist at sky and curse my fate for a good five minutes
(Part 2 next week. Where you will get to find out just what happens when EC leaves the office…)
Wednesday, January 25, 2006
Coming soon to a theater near you
Note to Dan from Minnesota: Thanks for correcting me on the fact that Bob Mould technically did not graduate from Macalester. Given that it is a school without too many famous alums I thought that I would do it a favor and add one. Plus, I continually hope that by mentioning Macalester maybe, just maybe, one specific alum might stumble on this site and put two and two together. I’d say that this is an impossible dream but the White Sox won the World Series so the concept of “impossible” is really questionable right now.
Caught a great ad in the Pitch today, which I get to add to my “Hey baby, you, me, Air Supply” spiel. Two days after Air Supply, in the exact same venue at the casino, we have women’s boxing. Yes, it’s Foxy Boxing at Harrah’s where we can pretty much be assured that the women will not be foxy and what they will be doing will barely qualify as boxing. Seriously, what girl will turn down that double bill. “So for Valentine’s Day not only will I take you the buffet at the casino but we’ll also see Air Supply. And on top of that, two days later you’ll get to watch the World’s Minimumweight Championship fight featuring Hollie “Hot Stuff” Dunaway. Why? Because that’s just how I roll.” As has often been said, I’m money and I don’t even know it.
Back to comments on comments, so we are going to have a Magnum P.I. movie. It’s at times like this when I wonder whether I really should try my career at screenwriting. I mean, my ideas are not very creative but I can do better than going, “Hell, I used to watch Simon and Simon as a kid. Why don’t we make a movie out of that?” (Actually, why aren’t we making a movie out of Simon and Simon? Put Damon and Affleck in it and I’ll break one hundred million at the box office and that will just be domestic.) (Oh, and would it kill anybody to bring back The Greatest American Hero? William Katt needs the work and it had the greatest theme song in the history television.) I am surprised at how scared Hollywood is from original concepts. Think about what they are putting out there. We have remakes of old television shows, remakes of old movies, adaptations of books, adaptations of video games, adaptations of books that had been made into video games, adaptations of comic books and adaptations of the movie “Adaptation”. No one is trying to risk a nice budget on a new project, which is the only way you create a new franchise. Let’s put it this way, if we worked under this principle in the early 80’s James Cameron wouldn’t have directed The Terminator, he would have made “Berzerk: The Movie.”
Staying on a movie note, I know that I am several days behind the curve but I do have to make my comments on the president’s speech at K State. Obviously I wasn’t invited since a) I would ask real questions and b) given some of my previous comments regarding K State I believe that I am officially banned from their campus. (All I said was that they do pretty good for a Division II school. What’s wrong with that?) Anyway, Bush’s response to the question of whether or not he has seen Brokeback Mountain is classic. Classic in that he stumbles for a good two minutes without saying anything even remotely intelligible other than mentioning ranchers. This is what worries me about having a president who has admitted that he doesn’t like to read. When he is forced to go off script he has absolutely no idea what to do. That is really, really frightening.
(Last note: have to forward on something Super forwarded to me. For the How I Met Your Mother fans (or people wondering just what the hell I am rambling on about), check out http://www.cbs.com/primetime/how_i_met_your_mother/barneys_blog Yes, it’s sad that a fictional character writes better than I do. But one of these days I will unleash a Venn Diagram in one of these posts and then watch what happens.)
Caught a great ad in the Pitch today, which I get to add to my “Hey baby, you, me, Air Supply” spiel. Two days after Air Supply, in the exact same venue at the casino, we have women’s boxing. Yes, it’s Foxy Boxing at Harrah’s where we can pretty much be assured that the women will not be foxy and what they will be doing will barely qualify as boxing. Seriously, what girl will turn down that double bill. “So for Valentine’s Day not only will I take you the buffet at the casino but we’ll also see Air Supply. And on top of that, two days later you’ll get to watch the World’s Minimumweight Championship fight featuring Hollie “Hot Stuff” Dunaway. Why? Because that’s just how I roll.” As has often been said, I’m money and I don’t even know it.
Back to comments on comments, so we are going to have a Magnum P.I. movie. It’s at times like this when I wonder whether I really should try my career at screenwriting. I mean, my ideas are not very creative but I can do better than going, “Hell, I used to watch Simon and Simon as a kid. Why don’t we make a movie out of that?” (Actually, why aren’t we making a movie out of Simon and Simon? Put Damon and Affleck in it and I’ll break one hundred million at the box office and that will just be domestic.) (Oh, and would it kill anybody to bring back The Greatest American Hero? William Katt needs the work and it had the greatest theme song in the history television.) I am surprised at how scared Hollywood is from original concepts. Think about what they are putting out there. We have remakes of old television shows, remakes of old movies, adaptations of books, adaptations of video games, adaptations of books that had been made into video games, adaptations of comic books and adaptations of the movie “Adaptation”. No one is trying to risk a nice budget on a new project, which is the only way you create a new franchise. Let’s put it this way, if we worked under this principle in the early 80’s James Cameron wouldn’t have directed The Terminator, he would have made “Berzerk: The Movie.”
Staying on a movie note, I know that I am several days behind the curve but I do have to make my comments on the president’s speech at K State. Obviously I wasn’t invited since a) I would ask real questions and b) given some of my previous comments regarding K State I believe that I am officially banned from their campus. (All I said was that they do pretty good for a Division II school. What’s wrong with that?) Anyway, Bush’s response to the question of whether or not he has seen Brokeback Mountain is classic. Classic in that he stumbles for a good two minutes without saying anything even remotely intelligible other than mentioning ranchers. This is what worries me about having a president who has admitted that he doesn’t like to read. When he is forced to go off script he has absolutely no idea what to do. That is really, really frightening.
(Last note: have to forward on something Super forwarded to me. For the How I Met Your Mother fans (or people wondering just what the hell I am rambling on about), check out http://www.cbs.com/primetime/how_i_met_your_mother/barneys_blog Yes, it’s sad that a fictional character writes better than I do. But one of these days I will unleash a Venn Diagram in one of these posts and then watch what happens.)
Tuesday, January 24, 2006
Scanning the dial...
Love Monkey Update: Show hit a decent bit of a stride tonight. I’m surprised by just how in depth they are going into the music scene. I’m not a hundred percent sure that it mirrors reality but it is probably a lot closer than anything that I’ve ever seen before. Plus, we got a Liz Phair shoutout as well as a guest appearance by Ben Folds (who looked like he had just rolled out of bed) so I can’t complain about that. Even better, it looks like Eric Bogosian might have a recurring role and if you need someone to play a smarmy record exec, Eric is the man. One point of concern though. Jason Priestly is playing a doctor. Let me repeat that, I am supposed to believe that Jason Priestly successfully completed medical school. I’m trying to think of an actor in a less fitting role. I’m pretty much down to Paris Hilton taking the lead in Nunsense.
Oh and even bigger television news we have UPN and WB merging to form an even bigger network that no one will ever watch. (Look, this is a public forum. It’s not like I can admit to watching the Gilmore Girls here.) I will say this is pretty unprecedented on a major network level. I’ve seen cable channels do it before (Comedy Central was actually formed by combining two other networks) but never big broadcast stations. I still don’t think that they will make much money since network television is dying a slow and painful death but hey, as long as Smackdown stays on the air I’ll be happy.
Completely changing gears here I have some good news in that I am starting to work out again. Yes, I can apparently do situps without pulling two hundred muscles, which is a major accomplishment. Of course, this means that I get to enjoy the wonders of the apartment workout room once again with this Sunday being a wonderful case in point. I go to put in my time on the treadmill thinking that I’ll watch the Steelers game while putting in my miles. See that someone else is already working out and per custom they control the remote. Not a problem since I also have my headphones (The Frames “Set List” makes a good workout disc). Well, not an issue until I look at the television and see that I am working out to the National Geographic channel. I’m not kidding, it was like sweat, look up, see piranhas devour some defenseless creature, focus for another lap, loop up, go “Hey, isn’t that a wildebeest?” and repeat. This would be the second worst choice I’ve ever seen for working out (with the worst being Oprah’s After the Show on Lifetime).
Oh, back to Love Monkey. They had the new female love interest list her top five songs. Dylan, The Cure’s Just Like Heaven, can’t remember the third. Then she listed The Clash “London Calling” (awesome song but a bit too much of a music snob statement) and her favorite Starship’s “We Built This City”. See, this is why I say the show might be a little too into music. For someone like me, I get the joke. The girl, who obviously knows her music, lists the worst song of all time as one of her favorites. I get it but I don’t know how many other people will. Still, nice to get a Starship reference out there in the pop culture world. Don’t see that every day.
Oh and even bigger television news we have UPN and WB merging to form an even bigger network that no one will ever watch. (Look, this is a public forum. It’s not like I can admit to watching the Gilmore Girls here.) I will say this is pretty unprecedented on a major network level. I’ve seen cable channels do it before (Comedy Central was actually formed by combining two other networks) but never big broadcast stations. I still don’t think that they will make much money since network television is dying a slow and painful death but hey, as long as Smackdown stays on the air I’ll be happy.
Completely changing gears here I have some good news in that I am starting to work out again. Yes, I can apparently do situps without pulling two hundred muscles, which is a major accomplishment. Of course, this means that I get to enjoy the wonders of the apartment workout room once again with this Sunday being a wonderful case in point. I go to put in my time on the treadmill thinking that I’ll watch the Steelers game while putting in my miles. See that someone else is already working out and per custom they control the remote. Not a problem since I also have my headphones (The Frames “Set List” makes a good workout disc). Well, not an issue until I look at the television and see that I am working out to the National Geographic channel. I’m not kidding, it was like sweat, look up, see piranhas devour some defenseless creature, focus for another lap, loop up, go “Hey, isn’t that a wildebeest?” and repeat. This would be the second worst choice I’ve ever seen for working out (with the worst being Oprah’s After the Show on Lifetime).
Oh, back to Love Monkey. They had the new female love interest list her top five songs. Dylan, The Cure’s Just Like Heaven, can’t remember the third. Then she listed The Clash “London Calling” (awesome song but a bit too much of a music snob statement) and her favorite Starship’s “We Built This City”. See, this is why I say the show might be a little too into music. For someone like me, I get the joke. The girl, who obviously knows her music, lists the worst song of all time as one of her favorites. I get it but I don’t know how many other people will. Still, nice to get a Starship reference out there in the pop culture world. Don’t see that every day.
Monday, January 23, 2006
...Was His Name O
Not surprisingly, I get a lot of spam in my email. To the point that there is a serious signal to noise issue but that is a story for another day. Typically I just delete it but I do keep track of what people are sending me just so I know what market segment people think that I am in. Saw one that made me stop and think for a really long time. The subject line read “Play Bingo Just For The Fun Of It.”
Question 1: Am I now at the age where playing bingo becomes a serious option? Did I have a Rip Van Winkle night over the weekend? I mean, it is entirely possible that the rest of the world advanced thirty years and Kansas City didn’t. It sure as hell looks like 1976 around here to me. But am I really that old?
Question 2: Is “Play Bingo For the Fun Of It” the best tagline one could come up with for an email of this sort? I was thinking more along of the lines of “Play Bingo For The Heart Pounding Action”, “Play Bingo For The Strategic Challenge” or “Play Bingo Because Slots Require Too Much Physical Effort.” Or even, “You’re Already Dead Inside, Might As Well Start Playing Bingo.” I mean, there has to be some truth in advertising.
Question 3: This is what the internet was invented for, right? When they set up Arpanet and built one of the nodes in Urbana a few blocks from my dorm room it was all for the purpose of playing bingo over the internet. My God, how boring must that be. I understand that for most (actually all) people bingo is just an excuse to have social interaction. So what do you get out of it by playing behind a computer? Is there some weird counting strategy to maximize profits? I’m at a loss here.
Question 4: Does my forgetting the name of the lead singer for The Flaming Lips automatically qualify me for entry into the World Series of Bingo? Yes, it does worry me that I can’t remember that (though I did know who fronted Pavement as well as that not only did Bob Mould front Husker Du but that he is also a graduate of Macalester College) but I think that I have a reason for it. I simply don’t have as many late night conversations where this type of information comes up anymore. It’s not something that people discuss in the office corridors whereas back in school I could count on a discussion on music or pop culture or history every day. I don’t think that I’ve forgotten much, I just haven’t had much need to reach back to those portions of the database and now the files are zipped and encrypted and it takes a little time to decode them.
(Closing How I Met Your Mother Update: The good news is that it looks like my life is turning around. Or at least my life as represented in a sitcom has taken a very dramatic and positive turn. I will neither confirm nor deny how closely tonight’s events resembled my own life. Other than it didn’t take place at a wedding. But yeah, I’ve been there. Just one of those stories that I’ll finally tell one of these decades…)
Question 1: Am I now at the age where playing bingo becomes a serious option? Did I have a Rip Van Winkle night over the weekend? I mean, it is entirely possible that the rest of the world advanced thirty years and Kansas City didn’t. It sure as hell looks like 1976 around here to me. But am I really that old?
Question 2: Is “Play Bingo For the Fun Of It” the best tagline one could come up with for an email of this sort? I was thinking more along of the lines of “Play Bingo For The Heart Pounding Action”, “Play Bingo For The Strategic Challenge” or “Play Bingo Because Slots Require Too Much Physical Effort.” Or even, “You’re Already Dead Inside, Might As Well Start Playing Bingo.” I mean, there has to be some truth in advertising.
Question 3: This is what the internet was invented for, right? When they set up Arpanet and built one of the nodes in Urbana a few blocks from my dorm room it was all for the purpose of playing bingo over the internet. My God, how boring must that be. I understand that for most (actually all) people bingo is just an excuse to have social interaction. So what do you get out of it by playing behind a computer? Is there some weird counting strategy to maximize profits? I’m at a loss here.
Question 4: Does my forgetting the name of the lead singer for The Flaming Lips automatically qualify me for entry into the World Series of Bingo? Yes, it does worry me that I can’t remember that (though I did know who fronted Pavement as well as that not only did Bob Mould front Husker Du but that he is also a graduate of Macalester College) but I think that I have a reason for it. I simply don’t have as many late night conversations where this type of information comes up anymore. It’s not something that people discuss in the office corridors whereas back in school I could count on a discussion on music or pop culture or history every day. I don’t think that I’ve forgotten much, I just haven’t had much need to reach back to those portions of the database and now the files are zipped and encrypted and it takes a little time to decode them.
(Closing How I Met Your Mother Update: The good news is that it looks like my life is turning around. Or at least my life as represented in a sitcom has taken a very dramatic and positive turn. I will neither confirm nor deny how closely tonight’s events resembled my own life. Other than it didn’t take place at a wedding. But yeah, I’ve been there. Just one of those stories that I’ll finally tell one of these decades…)
Sunday, January 22, 2006
I can see clearly now...
Just a lot of random thoughts flowing through my head right now…
1) I don’t know when Battling the Current Volume 2 will be put together but I know one song that will definitely be on it. I’ve been listening to The Postal Service’s “The District Sleeps Alone Tonight” nonstop for the last 48 hours. Man is that an awesome song. If it referred to EC instead of DC then it might be an absolute masterpiece. Oh, and I know that it is really the guy from Death Cab for Cutie but to my ears The Postal Service sounds like Freedy Johnston doing an electronica album and that is a good thing.
2) Oh, and if you still don’t have Battling the Current Volume 1 let me know. I still have a few discs to get off my hands. Otherwise, these things will become birthday presents for the next couple of decades.
3) I’m not even going to talk about playing trivia on Friday night. My worst performance ever. I couldn’t get anything right. I couldn’t hit the floor if I fell off my barstool and I was tempted to try it as an experiment. I’m going to have to start studying for these things now except that while relearning my state capitals will be useful it is a lot less beneficial to remember that Tim DeLaughter used to front Tripping Daisy and not The Flaming Lips.
4) Anyone who knows me knows that I am a list type of guy, as shown by this posting. It goes beyond things like my top ten albums of the year or top five all time breakfast cereals (Fruity Pebbles, Frosted Flakes, Rice Krispies, Cookie Crisp, and Captain Crunch). It means that I start off every weekend by writing out a detailed to do list in which every task that I must accomplish is listed (including the first bullet point which is always “Write To Do List”). Well, maybe “Must Accomplish” is a little strong. Certain items have stayed on the list for months. But, several of the toughest ones have finally been accomplished. First of all, yes, I was finally able to buy new shoes. My ankles held out long enough for me to finish a shopping trip and I have to say, you can really tell good customer service when you see it. When you go “Can I see this in a 9 ½” and the guy comes back with a half dozen boxes of other ideas you might like that is style.
5) The other thing is one that will get people who have known me for a long time to stand and cheer. I’ve finally gotten a new pair of glasses and I have finally said good bye to frames. I know, it still isn’t the same as getting contacts or laser surgery but I no longer have those big clumpy ugly things that I’ve hidden behind for several decades. In fact, combine that with my graying hair and I am looking more and more like Gil Grissom in CSI. I don’t know if that is a good thing or not.
6) Blog Housekeeping Note: I started an experiment the past few weeks and it looks to be working. See, I’ve known for a long time that my Thursday night posts have been weak at best. Actually, they’ve just sucked. There are some reasons behind it but mainly it is a) I typically have stuff going on on Thursday nights so I don’t have as much time and b) my life doesn’t always provide me with five days of interesting material. So, in an effort to change things up a little, I am going to try to turn my Thursday night post into “Creative Writing/Recurring Bit” night. What that means is you’ll see things like Forgotten Television Shows, Questions No One Asks But Should, Instructions for My Clone and Songbooks (posts that are either a series or really should be) as well as some more off the wall creative stuff. The good news is that this lets me be creative and I get to work on it during the week. If something happens that requires a regular post I’ll do that but for the next few weeks I want to see how this work. Hopefully it will keep from having to read and write a lot of “Man nothing is happening” posts.
The Five Random CDs of the Week:
1) Billy Bragg and Wilco “Mermaid Avenue”
2) Waco Brothers “New Deal”
3) R.E.M. “New Adventures in Hi-Fi”
4) Matthew Sweet “Girlfriend”
5) Lucinda Williams “Car Wheels on a Gravel Road”
1) I don’t know when Battling the Current Volume 2 will be put together but I know one song that will definitely be on it. I’ve been listening to The Postal Service’s “The District Sleeps Alone Tonight” nonstop for the last 48 hours. Man is that an awesome song. If it referred to EC instead of DC then it might be an absolute masterpiece. Oh, and I know that it is really the guy from Death Cab for Cutie but to my ears The Postal Service sounds like Freedy Johnston doing an electronica album and that is a good thing.
2) Oh, and if you still don’t have Battling the Current Volume 1 let me know. I still have a few discs to get off my hands. Otherwise, these things will become birthday presents for the next couple of decades.
3) I’m not even going to talk about playing trivia on Friday night. My worst performance ever. I couldn’t get anything right. I couldn’t hit the floor if I fell off my barstool and I was tempted to try it as an experiment. I’m going to have to start studying for these things now except that while relearning my state capitals will be useful it is a lot less beneficial to remember that Tim DeLaughter used to front Tripping Daisy and not The Flaming Lips.
4) Anyone who knows me knows that I am a list type of guy, as shown by this posting. It goes beyond things like my top ten albums of the year or top five all time breakfast cereals (Fruity Pebbles, Frosted Flakes, Rice Krispies, Cookie Crisp, and Captain Crunch). It means that I start off every weekend by writing out a detailed to do list in which every task that I must accomplish is listed (including the first bullet point which is always “Write To Do List”). Well, maybe “Must Accomplish” is a little strong. Certain items have stayed on the list for months. But, several of the toughest ones have finally been accomplished. First of all, yes, I was finally able to buy new shoes. My ankles held out long enough for me to finish a shopping trip and I have to say, you can really tell good customer service when you see it. When you go “Can I see this in a 9 ½” and the guy comes back with a half dozen boxes of other ideas you might like that is style.
5) The other thing is one that will get people who have known me for a long time to stand and cheer. I’ve finally gotten a new pair of glasses and I have finally said good bye to frames. I know, it still isn’t the same as getting contacts or laser surgery but I no longer have those big clumpy ugly things that I’ve hidden behind for several decades. In fact, combine that with my graying hair and I am looking more and more like Gil Grissom in CSI. I don’t know if that is a good thing or not.
6) Blog Housekeeping Note: I started an experiment the past few weeks and it looks to be working. See, I’ve known for a long time that my Thursday night posts have been weak at best. Actually, they’ve just sucked. There are some reasons behind it but mainly it is a) I typically have stuff going on on Thursday nights so I don’t have as much time and b) my life doesn’t always provide me with five days of interesting material. So, in an effort to change things up a little, I am going to try to turn my Thursday night post into “Creative Writing/Recurring Bit” night. What that means is you’ll see things like Forgotten Television Shows, Questions No One Asks But Should, Instructions for My Clone and Songbooks (posts that are either a series or really should be) as well as some more off the wall creative stuff. The good news is that this lets me be creative and I get to work on it during the week. If something happens that requires a regular post I’ll do that but for the next few weeks I want to see how this work. Hopefully it will keep from having to read and write a lot of “Man nothing is happening” posts.
The Five Random CDs of the Week:
1) Billy Bragg and Wilco “Mermaid Avenue”
2) Waco Brothers “New Deal”
3) R.E.M. “New Adventures in Hi-Fi”
4) Matthew Sweet “Girlfriend”
5) Lucinda Williams “Car Wheels on a Gravel Road”
Thursday, January 19, 2006
Musical questions that no one is asking but should...
Was it really a second gunman on the grassy knoll who shot the deputy?
What would inspire someone to let the dogs out?
What’s up with Eileen anyway? I mean, what the hell is her problem.
When will the authorities find the arsonist who set our beds on afire?
Dude, we know that you actually did start the fire. Why can’t you just come forward and admit it?
What does it mean when Roxanne turns on the blue light? Discounts?
Once you’ve become one of the richest men on the planet is it still right to say that you haven’t found what you are looking for?
In the question of torch singer vs. hole in my head, can we better define torch singer? Are we talking Sinatra or Steve and Edie here?
As opposed to calling the whole thing off, would we both be better served by consulting a linguist on the proper pronunciation of tomato?
You know what would be even better than having a pony and a boat? Having a pony, a boat and a keg. And a monkey to ride the pony. That would be awesome.
Ok, so where was the last place that you put your religion? I bet you it is still there.
At what point would there be enough wild horses to drag you away?
Wouldn’t it just be easier to Mapquest Funkytown?
What would inspire someone to let the dogs out?
What’s up with Eileen anyway? I mean, what the hell is her problem.
When will the authorities find the arsonist who set our beds on afire?
Dude, we know that you actually did start the fire. Why can’t you just come forward and admit it?
What does it mean when Roxanne turns on the blue light? Discounts?
Once you’ve become one of the richest men on the planet is it still right to say that you haven’t found what you are looking for?
In the question of torch singer vs. hole in my head, can we better define torch singer? Are we talking Sinatra or Steve and Edie here?
As opposed to calling the whole thing off, would we both be better served by consulting a linguist on the proper pronunciation of tomato?
You know what would be even better than having a pony and a boat? Having a pony, a boat and a keg. And a monkey to ride the pony. That would be awesome.
Ok, so where was the last place that you put your religion? I bet you it is still there.
At what point would there be enough wild horses to drag you away?
Wouldn’t it just be easier to Mapquest Funkytown?
Wednesday, January 18, 2006
Bring me Foreigner and Survivor now!
One last comment on Love Monkey. Our hero the A&R rep was fired from his job (at Goliath Records) when in a meeting where the CEO goes “The Music Industry is in the toilet. We have to change things or people will get fired” he decides to go into the “We have to change things up. It can’t just be about the money anymore. It has to be about the music.” Ok, if you are working for Goliath Records I can tell you one thing, it is definitely not about the music. It is always about the money, that is what happens when you work for a major multinational corporation. I would have fired his ass as well.
(Oh, and in a sign that every good idea that I have ever come up with has already been taken I found out last week that someone in KC has already taken the name for my record label. Yes, someone has already started Anodyne Records. I’m telling you, my laziness has taken the better of me on more matters than I’d like to remember. Now I have to think of something else to call my fictional enterprises.)
Since I’m in a musical type of mood I thought that I’d talk up some bands that are coming to town in the coming months. This is after I skipped Big Head Todd last night mainly because I just couldn’t stand sitting through another Big Head Todd show. Did you know I still haven’t seen a concert this year? This might be my longest vacation ever. Anyway, we’ve got two shows coming to town that make me pay attention. Note: both of these have full ads in the local paper.
First we have Vertigo in USA, a U2 tribute band. Ok, let’s see if I can get this straight. U2 decides not to play Kansas City. Actually, they figure that it is better to play Omaha than KC. So it is decided that if we can’t get U2 we can at least see a lifelike simulation. This is at a pretty major venue. I can get tickets online. I don’t have problems with tribute bands or cover bands, I just don’t think they should be treated like a major show.
That’s because the next show is the absolute definition of a major show. Yes, I’m talking about Dennis DeYoung and the Music of Styx. I am being so serious here it is not even funny. Come on, it’s Dennis friggin DeYoung! Sure, we can’t get Styx back together but we can get Mr. Roboto himself. How cool is that? I know, as the post modern hipster I am supposed to rag on Styx and Come Sail Away and Rockin the Paradise at every opportunity but I’m from Chicago and until the Smashing Pumpkins came around Styx was the best band we ever produced. (Cheap Trick is from Rockford and REO Speedwagon is from Chambana) If you grew up where I did and when I did you listened to Styx. I might actually hit this show just to relive my youth.
Plus, there is always Air Supply. If we can get Loverboy back on tour (headbands and all) it will be 1982 all over again. Ok, that and Asia. And Toto. Come on, Toto plays Kansas! Who do I have to talk to to make this happen?
That’s enough silliness for tonight. I’ll be better tomorrow…
(Oh, and in a sign that every good idea that I have ever come up with has already been taken I found out last week that someone in KC has already taken the name for my record label. Yes, someone has already started Anodyne Records. I’m telling you, my laziness has taken the better of me on more matters than I’d like to remember. Now I have to think of something else to call my fictional enterprises.)
Since I’m in a musical type of mood I thought that I’d talk up some bands that are coming to town in the coming months. This is after I skipped Big Head Todd last night mainly because I just couldn’t stand sitting through another Big Head Todd show. Did you know I still haven’t seen a concert this year? This might be my longest vacation ever. Anyway, we’ve got two shows coming to town that make me pay attention. Note: both of these have full ads in the local paper.
First we have Vertigo in USA, a U2 tribute band. Ok, let’s see if I can get this straight. U2 decides not to play Kansas City. Actually, they figure that it is better to play Omaha than KC. So it is decided that if we can’t get U2 we can at least see a lifelike simulation. This is at a pretty major venue. I can get tickets online. I don’t have problems with tribute bands or cover bands, I just don’t think they should be treated like a major show.
That’s because the next show is the absolute definition of a major show. Yes, I’m talking about Dennis DeYoung and the Music of Styx. I am being so serious here it is not even funny. Come on, it’s Dennis friggin DeYoung! Sure, we can’t get Styx back together but we can get Mr. Roboto himself. How cool is that? I know, as the post modern hipster I am supposed to rag on Styx and Come Sail Away and Rockin the Paradise at every opportunity but I’m from Chicago and until the Smashing Pumpkins came around Styx was the best band we ever produced. (Cheap Trick is from Rockford and REO Speedwagon is from Chambana) If you grew up where I did and when I did you listened to Styx. I might actually hit this show just to relive my youth.
Plus, there is always Air Supply. If we can get Loverboy back on tour (headbands and all) it will be 1982 all over again. Ok, that and Asia. And Toto. Come on, Toto plays Kansas! Who do I have to talk to to make this happen?
That’s enough silliness for tonight. I’ll be better tomorrow…
Tuesday, January 17, 2006
Proudest monkey
As I’ve grown older I’ve realized a lot of things. I’ve realized that my dreams of becoming a professional basketball player are probably going to go unfilled. I’ve realized that following Jager with Tequila will leave you feeling a little worse for wear the following morning. And tonight I have realized the most sobering fact of all: all of the television shows that appeal to me are on CBS. Yes, the network that gave us Diagnosis: Murder is now appealing to my demographic. Please excuse me as I bang my head against my desk for the following ten minutes.
I’m going on this little rant because tonight we had the latest debut in the “Let’s see how much of EC’s novel we can place on television before he gets a chance to write it” canon with the pilot episode of “Love Monkey.” It’s yet another story of a guy in his early thirties unlucky in love in New York. (Great line to start off with, “I’ve played the field and the field won.”) That’s pretty normal. The interesting thing is that the guy is an A&R rep, which is basically one of my dream jobs. Hey, anything that would pay me to sit around in bars and listen to bands would be pretty much right up my alley.
So, since the show is about an A&R rep we have the requisite music references. Good mentions of Sting and Tori Amos and even though they had a Sex Pistols reference earlier you can’t really make a Hotel Chelsea comment without making the ultimate reference. (If you don’t follow, rent Sid and Nancy) They did the music tour of New York with a stop at CBGB’s (apparently before they were threatening to close the place down). It’s actually a pretty good rundown of my life with absolutely every aspect being related to music.
Of course we have to have the standard circle of friends who so appear to be out of central casting that I really wonder if I wrote the script. Seriously, no originality here at all. We have the female best friend who is obviously in love with the main character (and vice versa) but they don’t do anything. They have the guy friends offering advice and being at various points of their lives. Have to hit on one casting note as in this gaggle of friends is one Mr. Jason Priestly. Yes, he’s back on the air (and apparently back on his feet after a nearly fatal auto racing wreck a few years back). All I can say is that it is very odd seeing him on a show talking about marriage and pregnancy and not talking about high school.
(Oh, and another thing, the guy that the A&R rep discovers is this total John Mayer wannabe. I know that much of my readership will hate this next line but we already have a John Mayer, we sure as hell don’t need two. Especially one who writes lines like “Love is a Marathon”.)
I guess I need to come down with my final verdict here. I can’t say that this show has totally borrowed events from my real life, though it resembles my novel to a great degree. I definitely wouldn’t say it is a great show since so much of it seems to be formula. But I’ll be watching next week for one reason. One scene actually. Near the end our hero goes back to his apartment, fired from his job, dumped by his girlfriend, and no real next step. And what does he do? Sit on the edge of his couch, pick up his guitar and start playing. Now that is realism and it makes me think that maybe, just maybe, I should finally learn how to play guitar.
I’m going on this little rant because tonight we had the latest debut in the “Let’s see how much of EC’s novel we can place on television before he gets a chance to write it” canon with the pilot episode of “Love Monkey.” It’s yet another story of a guy in his early thirties unlucky in love in New York. (Great line to start off with, “I’ve played the field and the field won.”) That’s pretty normal. The interesting thing is that the guy is an A&R rep, which is basically one of my dream jobs. Hey, anything that would pay me to sit around in bars and listen to bands would be pretty much right up my alley.
So, since the show is about an A&R rep we have the requisite music references. Good mentions of Sting and Tori Amos and even though they had a Sex Pistols reference earlier you can’t really make a Hotel Chelsea comment without making the ultimate reference. (If you don’t follow, rent Sid and Nancy) They did the music tour of New York with a stop at CBGB’s (apparently before they were threatening to close the place down). It’s actually a pretty good rundown of my life with absolutely every aspect being related to music.
Of course we have to have the standard circle of friends who so appear to be out of central casting that I really wonder if I wrote the script. Seriously, no originality here at all. We have the female best friend who is obviously in love with the main character (and vice versa) but they don’t do anything. They have the guy friends offering advice and being at various points of their lives. Have to hit on one casting note as in this gaggle of friends is one Mr. Jason Priestly. Yes, he’s back on the air (and apparently back on his feet after a nearly fatal auto racing wreck a few years back). All I can say is that it is very odd seeing him on a show talking about marriage and pregnancy and not talking about high school.
(Oh, and another thing, the guy that the A&R rep discovers is this total John Mayer wannabe. I know that much of my readership will hate this next line but we already have a John Mayer, we sure as hell don’t need two. Especially one who writes lines like “Love is a Marathon”.)
I guess I need to come down with my final verdict here. I can’t say that this show has totally borrowed events from my real life, though it resembles my novel to a great degree. I definitely wouldn’t say it is a great show since so much of it seems to be formula. But I’ll be watching next week for one reason. One scene actually. Near the end our hero goes back to his apartment, fired from his job, dumped by his girlfriend, and no real next step. And what does he do? Sit on the edge of his couch, pick up his guitar and start playing. Now that is realism and it makes me think that maybe, just maybe, I should finally learn how to play guitar.
Monday, January 16, 2006
Simple tasks made difficult
For those of you who need a good description of what exactly it is like to live my life here is a great story from today. I have had on my list of things to do for the past several months to get new pairs of dress shoes. This was on the list for a lot of reasons including the fact that my current shoes look horrible, they are beat to hell and offer no support and apparently shoes are one of those things that women always notice so I need to have a good pair. So, as I make my way to my car to go shoe shopping I immediately roll my ankle and end up hobbling back up to my apartment. Yes, I was unable to buy new shoes because my old shoes are so bad they intentionally injured me to prevent being replaced. I swear, even inanimate objects are out to get me.
(Good news is it doesn’t look like I sprained my ankle too badly. Can still walk on it and stuff, it just looks like I’ll be wearing an ankle brace for the next few days. Given how many sprains I’ve had over the years I don’t even think I have ligaments in my ankles anymore. They are basically held together by scotch tape right now. I’ve had doctors say with all seriousness that I should just wear ankle braces at all times or at least keep my own set of crutches. I’ve settled on the latter.)
Since it is a Monday I need to comment on How I Met Your Mother. Yes, it was a rerun but it was new to me (or more like I had only seen the first few minutes before). Once again I need to ask just who was brilliant enough to have a camera crew tail me for the past several years. We have the detailed calculation of the number of women who would actually be a match for me (with their answer being eight versus my earlier calculation of seven). They have a full discussion of the creation of a computer program to determine your perfect match, which was the topic of a short story that I wrote a few years back. And let’s just say that there were other aspects that hit a little too close to home. Of course, I could turn this into a discussion of is there only one perfect person out there in the world for me or not but let’s face it, that’s not a topic I want to undertake while I am technically on painkillers.
Otherwise, this was just a quiet day capping off a rather productive weekend. You know, cleaned the apartment, bought groceries, did my laundry, all of those tasks that I would much rather outsource than do myself. Still, it was nice to see that I was able to check off most of the things on my To Do list. I’ll get new shoes someday, I promise. I just have to take my old pairs by surprise, that’s all.
(Good news is it doesn’t look like I sprained my ankle too badly. Can still walk on it and stuff, it just looks like I’ll be wearing an ankle brace for the next few days. Given how many sprains I’ve had over the years I don’t even think I have ligaments in my ankles anymore. They are basically held together by scotch tape right now. I’ve had doctors say with all seriousness that I should just wear ankle braces at all times or at least keep my own set of crutches. I’ve settled on the latter.)
Since it is a Monday I need to comment on How I Met Your Mother. Yes, it was a rerun but it was new to me (or more like I had only seen the first few minutes before). Once again I need to ask just who was brilliant enough to have a camera crew tail me for the past several years. We have the detailed calculation of the number of women who would actually be a match for me (with their answer being eight versus my earlier calculation of seven). They have a full discussion of the creation of a computer program to determine your perfect match, which was the topic of a short story that I wrote a few years back. And let’s just say that there were other aspects that hit a little too close to home. Of course, I could turn this into a discussion of is there only one perfect person out there in the world for me or not but let’s face it, that’s not a topic I want to undertake while I am technically on painkillers.
Otherwise, this was just a quiet day capping off a rather productive weekend. You know, cleaned the apartment, bought groceries, did my laundry, all of those tasks that I would much rather outsource than do myself. Still, it was nice to see that I was able to check off most of the things on my To Do list. I’ll get new shoes someday, I promise. I just have to take my old pairs by surprise, that’s all.
Sunday, January 15, 2006
Definining geekitude
I’m in a rather odd position tonight. I don’t have to go to work tomorrow. This probably puts me in the same position as most people but honestly, this is the first time that I’ve gotten Martin Luther King day off from work or school since I was in high school. I’m not kidding, it’s taken me numerous employers and universities to finally have this day off. The weird thing is, I have no idea how to handle a three day weekend in January. I mean, should I go out on a Sunday night? Take the time to relax and regroup? I’m at a loss here.
(Oh, it also doesn’t help that it is sixty degrees out here right now. For those of you who question the existence of global warming, it is not supposed to be sixty degrees in the middle of January. Heck, it was nice weather for the Bears game, which completely ruined the Bears chances. The entire point of having the Bears host a playoff game in January is that there should be a below zero wind chill and only the Chicago players and fans are tough enough to survive it for four hours. It was a balmy forty degrees out there. Damn you greenhouse gases, you’re costing me a playoff victory.)
I’m a little light on ideas right now so I’ll share something that I emailed out to a few people already. The new season of Beauty and the Geek has started and I am once again amazed that I missed the casting call. (Side note: the headline to the Pitch this week is “Fear this Geek” and I swear that my first reaction was, “Finally my blog is getting some publicity.”) But looking at the profiles of the geeks I really feel that I have some of them beat in the geek department.
I mean, one of them is a neurobiologist. That just means that he went through a lot of schooling, it doesn’t make him a geek. The guy who listed his occupation as “Dungeon Master” now that guy fully qualifies on the geek scale. Any guy in his mid-twenties who still runs and organizes weekly games of Dungeons and Dragons is frightening. Even I didn’t do that (we at least decided to just play once a month). And there is one contestant who I can’t figure out if he is the King Geek or actually really, really cool.
See, for his job he is working on creating a laser tracking system able to locate and track a moving human target. Since it is expensive to hire people to run around for hours a day he has found a lower cost alternative. He tracks monkeys. Yes, his job is to track monkeys with laser beams. I have to say that my first reaction to that is, “Man, that is so awesome.” Come on, you’re tracking monkeys with friggin laser beams. That’s not being a geek, that is basing your life on the plot of Real Genius. And anyone who follows in the steps of Val Kilmer just has to be cool.
The five random CDs of the week
1) Carbon Leaf “Indian Summer”
2) Liz Phair “Whip-Smart”
3) Wilco “AM”
4) Cathy Richardson “Moon, Not Banana”
5) Various Artists “Celtic Twilight 2”
(Oh, it also doesn’t help that it is sixty degrees out here right now. For those of you who question the existence of global warming, it is not supposed to be sixty degrees in the middle of January. Heck, it was nice weather for the Bears game, which completely ruined the Bears chances. The entire point of having the Bears host a playoff game in January is that there should be a below zero wind chill and only the Chicago players and fans are tough enough to survive it for four hours. It was a balmy forty degrees out there. Damn you greenhouse gases, you’re costing me a playoff victory.)
I’m a little light on ideas right now so I’ll share something that I emailed out to a few people already. The new season of Beauty and the Geek has started and I am once again amazed that I missed the casting call. (Side note: the headline to the Pitch this week is “Fear this Geek” and I swear that my first reaction was, “Finally my blog is getting some publicity.”) But looking at the profiles of the geeks I really feel that I have some of them beat in the geek department.
I mean, one of them is a neurobiologist. That just means that he went through a lot of schooling, it doesn’t make him a geek. The guy who listed his occupation as “Dungeon Master” now that guy fully qualifies on the geek scale. Any guy in his mid-twenties who still runs and organizes weekly games of Dungeons and Dragons is frightening. Even I didn’t do that (we at least decided to just play once a month). And there is one contestant who I can’t figure out if he is the King Geek or actually really, really cool.
See, for his job he is working on creating a laser tracking system able to locate and track a moving human target. Since it is expensive to hire people to run around for hours a day he has found a lower cost alternative. He tracks monkeys. Yes, his job is to track monkeys with laser beams. I have to say that my first reaction to that is, “Man, that is so awesome.” Come on, you’re tracking monkeys with friggin laser beams. That’s not being a geek, that is basing your life on the plot of Real Genius. And anyone who follows in the steps of Val Kilmer just has to be cool.
The five random CDs of the week
1) Carbon Leaf “Indian Summer”
2) Liz Phair “Whip-Smart”
3) Wilco “AM”
4) Cathy Richardson “Moon, Not Banana”
5) Various Artists “Celtic Twilight 2”
Thursday, January 12, 2006
Forgotten Television Shows: Volume Nine
The The / Dinosaur Jr. / Rollins Band / The Cure / Beastie Boys / XTC / 10,000 Maniacs / Iggy Pop / Catherine Wheel / Belly / Nine Inch Nails / Mudhoney / Sloan / Red Hot Chili Peppers / L7 / Sugar / Therapy? / R.E.M. / Soul Asylum / Wool
If those names make you go, “Oh my God, they were so awesome!” I don’t even have to name the show. The only thing in college that could make you look forward to Sunday nights. The greatest two hours in the history of MTV, simply titled “120 Minutes”
(For those wondering, those bands made up the playlist on 1/31/1993 so if you want to know what I was listening to ten years ago that was it. Belly was super cool (man did I have a crush on Tanya Donnelly))
It was a concept so simple that I am amazed that MTV was actually able to come up with it. Fill up two hours late on a Sunday night with “low rotation” videos. Translation: let’s show the videos for all of the songs on college radio. From a financial standpoint it really didn’t matter, no one really watches television late on Sunday nights. This is why the networks use that time for MASH reruns and George Michael’s Sports Machine (a topic in its own right). There’s no market out there on a Sunday night. Other than college kids…
And that was the beauty of it. It was like for two hours MTV wasn’t selling you the latest product. You had a host (in my time the vaguely British Dave Kendall segueing to the Uncle Fester-esque Matt Pinfield) who sat around an empty studio and basically went “You don’t know these guys but you should.” You wouldn’t always get the music but there was always some level of satisfaction that you actually saw a Shonen Knife video.
I think what really made the show memorable was the fact that it was the ultimate college show. It’s eleven o’clock on a Sunday night, you finally are tackling the assignment that you put off all weekend, you need something playing in the background and 120 Minutes is it. Or you just want to keep fighting off the end of the weekend and want just one moment, just one last chance to be young and energetic and full of life before you have to spend the next several days solving Maxwell’s equations over and over again. (Ok, maybe that last one was just me.) The thing is, never before or since have I known that at a certain time and place I could turn the channel and be assured of seeing the music I like and that is a powerful thing.
120 Minutes died a slow and painful death on MTV where they ended up showing Sum 41 videos for no apparent reason. They sent it over to MTV2 where they started showing real videos again but it met its end there, alone and forgotten. There are still some embers left (VH-1 Classic’s “The Alternative” is close at times) but those thrills from those Sunday nights are gone. If anything, the closest thing to a successor is Adult Swim on Cartoon Network, which is irreverent and hip but also has its own marketing plan.
I know that when I talk about something like 120 Minutes I am not always yearning for a television show. What I really want back is that ability to be hanging out in a dorm room or an apartment on Sunday night with a lot of people and just enjoying life until the last possible moment. But somehow I’ll always believe that if 120 Minutes was back on the air all the rest would just fall into place.
Have a good weekend everyone. Go Bears.
If those names make you go, “Oh my God, they were so awesome!” I don’t even have to name the show. The only thing in college that could make you look forward to Sunday nights. The greatest two hours in the history of MTV, simply titled “120 Minutes”
(For those wondering, those bands made up the playlist on 1/31/1993 so if you want to know what I was listening to ten years ago that was it. Belly was super cool (man did I have a crush on Tanya Donnelly))
It was a concept so simple that I am amazed that MTV was actually able to come up with it. Fill up two hours late on a Sunday night with “low rotation” videos. Translation: let’s show the videos for all of the songs on college radio. From a financial standpoint it really didn’t matter, no one really watches television late on Sunday nights. This is why the networks use that time for MASH reruns and George Michael’s Sports Machine (a topic in its own right). There’s no market out there on a Sunday night. Other than college kids…
And that was the beauty of it. It was like for two hours MTV wasn’t selling you the latest product. You had a host (in my time the vaguely British Dave Kendall segueing to the Uncle Fester-esque Matt Pinfield) who sat around an empty studio and basically went “You don’t know these guys but you should.” You wouldn’t always get the music but there was always some level of satisfaction that you actually saw a Shonen Knife video.
I think what really made the show memorable was the fact that it was the ultimate college show. It’s eleven o’clock on a Sunday night, you finally are tackling the assignment that you put off all weekend, you need something playing in the background and 120 Minutes is it. Or you just want to keep fighting off the end of the weekend and want just one moment, just one last chance to be young and energetic and full of life before you have to spend the next several days solving Maxwell’s equations over and over again. (Ok, maybe that last one was just me.) The thing is, never before or since have I known that at a certain time and place I could turn the channel and be assured of seeing the music I like and that is a powerful thing.
120 Minutes died a slow and painful death on MTV where they ended up showing Sum 41 videos for no apparent reason. They sent it over to MTV2 where they started showing real videos again but it met its end there, alone and forgotten. There are still some embers left (VH-1 Classic’s “The Alternative” is close at times) but those thrills from those Sunday nights are gone. If anything, the closest thing to a successor is Adult Swim on Cartoon Network, which is irreverent and hip but also has its own marketing plan.
I know that when I talk about something like 120 Minutes I am not always yearning for a television show. What I really want back is that ability to be hanging out in a dorm room or an apartment on Sunday night with a lot of people and just enjoying life until the last possible moment. But somehow I’ll always believe that if 120 Minutes was back on the air all the rest would just fall into place.
Have a good weekend everyone. Go Bears.
Wednesday, January 11, 2006
When you wake up feeling old...
Two stories to share tonight, both of which tend to do with my impending old age. The first is that I lost a button on my lucky shirt this evening. In my life, that reaches the level of tragedy. It would be one thing if it happened because I was involved in some high energy activity but I was just sitting down. So it leads me to believe that buttons are flying off of clothing because I am just continuing to gain weight.
Yeah, I’m not fat or anything but I am overweight. I’m not kidding that Jeff Conaway on Celebrity Fit Club actually has the same height and weight that I do, which really puts some fear in your heart when your body type would qualify for a weight loss show. Actually, for those watching the show, any comparisons to Jeff Conaway are scary. He appeared on the last episode drugged out of his mind and at one point yelling at everyone, “I was on Taxi, damnit.” That is probably one of the saddest statements of all time. Think about it. When you point to a sitcom from twenty five years ago to justify your existence something is wrong. Danny DeVito wouldn’t do that. Neither would Judd Hirsch or Marilu Henner. Christopher Lloyd would probably mutter something about Back to the Future. Hell, not even Tony Danza would reference Taxi and let’s face it, it’s not like he has much to hang his hat on. But it is an incredible example of self destruction and reaching the end of your rope on national television.
(More on point, I now have to deal with the fact that my lucky shirt is missing a button. I could sew another button on but that would require a) a button and b) the ability to sew. Or I could find the perfect girl who would fall in love with me and have the ability to sew. But that’s not going to happen without my lucky shirt. This is what they call in the literary world a Catch 22.)
Here is the other story. While watching the Duke-Maryland game (with Duke taking Maryland back behind the woodshed and making the world right again) they had a sideline interview with Brian Davis and Christian Laettner. The latter being one of maybe three people in my life who I would consider my idol. Of the top ten moments in my life Christian was in three of them (the shots to be Connecticut and Kentucky and the free throws over UNLV). I have vocally argued that he should be considered the greatest college basketball player of all time. When he was wearing the Duke uniform he was unstoppable. So they are showing him on the sideline and my first thought was, “Wow, Christian has a lot of gray hair.”
Yes, even my idols are getting old. The guys who were a few years older than me are no longer the best athletes in the world. They are now the grizzled veterans. It really makes me start to wonder if I can no longer be considered young. Am I now that slightly graying adult? Am I no longer supposed to spend my free time battling nineteen year olds for prime real estate in front of a stage? Am I the guy in the college bar that everyone looks at and wonders, “What is he doing here?” That said, the first thought that comes to mind when I think about this is, “Why the hell would I care?”
Yeah, I’m not fat or anything but I am overweight. I’m not kidding that Jeff Conaway on Celebrity Fit Club actually has the same height and weight that I do, which really puts some fear in your heart when your body type would qualify for a weight loss show. Actually, for those watching the show, any comparisons to Jeff Conaway are scary. He appeared on the last episode drugged out of his mind and at one point yelling at everyone, “I was on Taxi, damnit.” That is probably one of the saddest statements of all time. Think about it. When you point to a sitcom from twenty five years ago to justify your existence something is wrong. Danny DeVito wouldn’t do that. Neither would Judd Hirsch or Marilu Henner. Christopher Lloyd would probably mutter something about Back to the Future. Hell, not even Tony Danza would reference Taxi and let’s face it, it’s not like he has much to hang his hat on. But it is an incredible example of self destruction and reaching the end of your rope on national television.
(More on point, I now have to deal with the fact that my lucky shirt is missing a button. I could sew another button on but that would require a) a button and b) the ability to sew. Or I could find the perfect girl who would fall in love with me and have the ability to sew. But that’s not going to happen without my lucky shirt. This is what they call in the literary world a Catch 22.)
Here is the other story. While watching the Duke-Maryland game (with Duke taking Maryland back behind the woodshed and making the world right again) they had a sideline interview with Brian Davis and Christian Laettner. The latter being one of maybe three people in my life who I would consider my idol. Of the top ten moments in my life Christian was in three of them (the shots to be Connecticut and Kentucky and the free throws over UNLV). I have vocally argued that he should be considered the greatest college basketball player of all time. When he was wearing the Duke uniform he was unstoppable. So they are showing him on the sideline and my first thought was, “Wow, Christian has a lot of gray hair.”
Yes, even my idols are getting old. The guys who were a few years older than me are no longer the best athletes in the world. They are now the grizzled veterans. It really makes me start to wonder if I can no longer be considered young. Am I now that slightly graying adult? Am I no longer supposed to spend my free time battling nineteen year olds for prime real estate in front of a stage? Am I the guy in the college bar that everyone looks at and wonders, “What is he doing here?” That said, the first thought that comes to mind when I think about this is, “Why the hell would I care?”
Tuesday, January 10, 2006
Thinking it through...
A few weeks ago I had a really interesting conversation with a friend of mine. She was telling me how she has just been dissatisfied with her life. Not that things were going bad, just that she didn’t feel that her purpose on this planet was to make present value calculations. She was looking for a way to have what she does for a living really make an impact on the world. In other terms, she was going through her one-third life crisis.
I said that I am going through the same thing. Of course in my case it is more of a mid-life crisis, which is what happens when you even have the guys at The Modern Drunkard going, “Dude, you really need to take it easy every once in a while.” Still, this thought has been bouncing around my head all day and I really feel a need to write about it.
Back when I was in high school, you know, back when knowing how to use a slide rule was still a marketable skill, I read that the average person has five careers in their lifetime. I thought that five sounded like a pretty fair number to me so from then on I always stated that I was on the five career plan. The first one was electrical engineering because I figured I’d start with the fun stuff and move to the tougher subjects as I got older. Ok, not really. I’m still not entirely sure how I ended up as an electrical engineer. I really think it was because it was the toughest major at the best school for it and I wanted to see if I could be up to the challenge.
Whether I was up to the challenge or not is debatable but they did give me a degree and I ended up doing some good work over the years. At least I left knowing that I did my part in making sure that the lights stayed on in Chicago. Then I decided it was time to switch careers, go back to school, and enter the wonderful world of finance. This is where I am now and one day, when I have perspective, I’ll discuss it.
So those are my first two careers and I have no idea what three and four are going to be. Number five, on the other hand, has always been set in my mind. I am planning on ending up working for a non-profit organization or a school in any capacity that I can. I’ve always considered that I would need to complete my work career by giving back for all that the world has given me. Almost as a penance for my time spent working at money grubbing corporations.
The thing is, I’ve been wondering recently why I am waiting for the fifth career to do that. It really lessens the entire point of it. It’s like writing a check to a charity at the end of the year just so you can be sure you get your tax deduction. Sure it makes you feel better but it is really a hollow act. So now I’m wondering if maybe that will be my next step, whenever that next step might be. Maybe instead of spending my time writing about how awful the world is I should take some time to actually see if I can change something.
I don’t know of anyone who as a kid dreamt of doing present value calculations. (Ok, maybe Victor did…) But I know that there are a lot of us who have ended up in our early thirties doing exactly that and wondering why. There is still enough of an idealist in me who just wants to be sure that at the end of the day the world is a better place because I was here. It is, for all my talk about goals and five year plans, the only thing that I want to accomplish in life. I just hope that I can somehow figure out how to make it happen.
I said that I am going through the same thing. Of course in my case it is more of a mid-life crisis, which is what happens when you even have the guys at The Modern Drunkard going, “Dude, you really need to take it easy every once in a while.” Still, this thought has been bouncing around my head all day and I really feel a need to write about it.
Back when I was in high school, you know, back when knowing how to use a slide rule was still a marketable skill, I read that the average person has five careers in their lifetime. I thought that five sounded like a pretty fair number to me so from then on I always stated that I was on the five career plan. The first one was electrical engineering because I figured I’d start with the fun stuff and move to the tougher subjects as I got older. Ok, not really. I’m still not entirely sure how I ended up as an electrical engineer. I really think it was because it was the toughest major at the best school for it and I wanted to see if I could be up to the challenge.
Whether I was up to the challenge or not is debatable but they did give me a degree and I ended up doing some good work over the years. At least I left knowing that I did my part in making sure that the lights stayed on in Chicago. Then I decided it was time to switch careers, go back to school, and enter the wonderful world of finance. This is where I am now and one day, when I have perspective, I’ll discuss it.
So those are my first two careers and I have no idea what three and four are going to be. Number five, on the other hand, has always been set in my mind. I am planning on ending up working for a non-profit organization or a school in any capacity that I can. I’ve always considered that I would need to complete my work career by giving back for all that the world has given me. Almost as a penance for my time spent working at money grubbing corporations.
The thing is, I’ve been wondering recently why I am waiting for the fifth career to do that. It really lessens the entire point of it. It’s like writing a check to a charity at the end of the year just so you can be sure you get your tax deduction. Sure it makes you feel better but it is really a hollow act. So now I’m wondering if maybe that will be my next step, whenever that next step might be. Maybe instead of spending my time writing about how awful the world is I should take some time to actually see if I can change something.
I don’t know of anyone who as a kid dreamt of doing present value calculations. (Ok, maybe Victor did…) But I know that there are a lot of us who have ended up in our early thirties doing exactly that and wondering why. There is still enough of an idealist in me who just wants to be sure that at the end of the day the world is a better place because I was here. It is, for all my talk about goals and five year plans, the only thing that I want to accomplish in life. I just hope that I can somehow figure out how to make it happen.
Monday, January 09, 2006
The wonderful world of the modern drunkard...
Back to our regularly scheduled random programming…
1) I can’t believe that I wasn’t in Las Vegas last week. Not because it was the Consumer Electronics Show. Not because of the other event that coincides with CES that the news never bothers to mention (let’s just say that Silicon and Silicone Valley work on the same calendar). No, what I missed was the World Series of Beer Pong. This actually exists and I can’t believe that I forgot to pull my team together in time for this year’s event. Wait until next year, we’ll have a first round bye on reputation alone.
2) If there are any publishers out there reading my work here (and I know that you are out there), here is my book proposal. I want to travel the country and go to things like the World Series of Beer Pong and write about them for a year. Just drive around for a year and do things like visit Carhenge or see the World’s Largest Ball of Twine. Basically spend a year trying to see how silly one can be. I wouldn’t need much of an advance, just enough to pay for the trip. Any takers?
3) Had a brilliant idea come to me at the bar on Saturday night and it is one that would be greatly appreciated by my friends at The Modern Drunkard (www.moderndrunkardmagazine.com) who list things that you need to accomplish in life like watch the sun rise with your buddies and a bottle (done) and open and close a bar (effectively done). Well, I was sitting at the end of the bar and looked down its length and counted twelve taps and thought, “There’s a challenge for you. You’ve got to run the beer taps in order.” Especially since the Guinness tap is in the middle so you’ve got to take that into account. I’m not saying that I am going to try this because it might be more than I could manage but it sure would make for an interesting night.
4) Ok, I’ve got one of my huge pet peeves at work that I need to get off my chest here. Everyone knows that I am caffeine free but I am unable to quit my coffee habit. This means I drink a lot of decaf. Luckily, I work for a company that offers you free office copy presuming you make it yourself. We have a regular pot and the orange top pot that every person on the planet would recognize as being for decaf. Except for the geniuses in my office who have decided that it is for the seven packets super caffeine pot. Which they label with a post it note “Caffeine”. Which means that I now have to walk to another building and pay for coffee just so I can be sure to have decaf. So here is my question: am I within my rights to dump their pot, make a decaf pot and put a post it note labeled “Decaf” on it? Seriously, that’s all I am asking for, some common courtesy and having decaf in the decaf pot. Is that too great a challenge?
5) And don’t even get me started on people talking on their phones in the bathroom. That is wrong on just so many levels.
1) I can’t believe that I wasn’t in Las Vegas last week. Not because it was the Consumer Electronics Show. Not because of the other event that coincides with CES that the news never bothers to mention (let’s just say that Silicon and Silicone Valley work on the same calendar). No, what I missed was the World Series of Beer Pong. This actually exists and I can’t believe that I forgot to pull my team together in time for this year’s event. Wait until next year, we’ll have a first round bye on reputation alone.
2) If there are any publishers out there reading my work here (and I know that you are out there), here is my book proposal. I want to travel the country and go to things like the World Series of Beer Pong and write about them for a year. Just drive around for a year and do things like visit Carhenge or see the World’s Largest Ball of Twine. Basically spend a year trying to see how silly one can be. I wouldn’t need much of an advance, just enough to pay for the trip. Any takers?
3) Had a brilliant idea come to me at the bar on Saturday night and it is one that would be greatly appreciated by my friends at The Modern Drunkard (www.moderndrunkardmagazine.com) who list things that you need to accomplish in life like watch the sun rise with your buddies and a bottle (done) and open and close a bar (effectively done). Well, I was sitting at the end of the bar and looked down its length and counted twelve taps and thought, “There’s a challenge for you. You’ve got to run the beer taps in order.” Especially since the Guinness tap is in the middle so you’ve got to take that into account. I’m not saying that I am going to try this because it might be more than I could manage but it sure would make for an interesting night.
4) Ok, I’ve got one of my huge pet peeves at work that I need to get off my chest here. Everyone knows that I am caffeine free but I am unable to quit my coffee habit. This means I drink a lot of decaf. Luckily, I work for a company that offers you free office copy presuming you make it yourself. We have a regular pot and the orange top pot that every person on the planet would recognize as being for decaf. Except for the geniuses in my office who have decided that it is for the seven packets super caffeine pot. Which they label with a post it note “Caffeine”. Which means that I now have to walk to another building and pay for coffee just so I can be sure to have decaf. So here is my question: am I within my rights to dump their pot, make a decaf pot and put a post it note labeled “Decaf” on it? Seriously, that’s all I am asking for, some common courtesy and having decaf in the decaf pot. Is that too great a challenge?
5) And don’t even get me started on people talking on their phones in the bathroom. That is wrong on just so many levels.
Sunday, January 08, 2006
2005 Reading List
Ok, I figure that it is time to finish off my 2005 retrospective with an overview of some of the books that I read over the year. Admittedly, I still haven’t finished The Rule Of Four, which is like a low rent version of The Da Vinci Code set in Princeton. Thus explaining just why I can’t seem to bring myself to finish the book. Anyway, here is what made its way to my bookshelf in the past year.
“On the Road” by Jack Kerouac: This was my challenge reading for 2005. I am still amazed that just fifty years ago you could hitchhike your way around the country and no one considered it odd. Now if you even mention the concept most people would think that you are out of your mind. Not sure if I ever got the grand point of the book other than at some point in your life you just need to pick up stakes and go on a walkabout.
“Assassination Vacation”, “The Partly Cloudy Patriot”, “Take the Canoli” and “Radio On” all by Sarah Vowell: I’m including this to discuss a certain aspect of my personality. I picked up Assassination Vacation after catching Sarah due some publicity for it and I was intrigued by the concept (a writer travels to the sites of presidential assassinations as a type of tragedy tourist). Read it and really liked her style so I then went out and read everything that she has ever written. I have done this with a number of writers. Something catches my eye and next thing I know I have an entire shelf filled with their work. With someone like Sarah, it is well worth the effort.
“Feet on the Street” by Roy Blount Jr.: A walking tour of New Orleans that begins with a discussion of what will happen when the storm comes and destroys the city. That is what made New Orleans great, the reason everyone there lived for the moment is because they knew that the city was temporary. I just can’t believe that the time was so fleeting.
“Planet Simpson” by Chris Turner: A sociological examination of The Simpsons in which the author examines many of the themes being confronted by members of Generation X using examples from The Simpsons. Once again I am forced to realize that every great idea I might possibly have has already been done.
“The Goal” by Eliyahan Goldratt: It’s a novel discussing how to improve efficiency at a manufacturing plant. I read it for work. Don’t ask me why someone decides that a novel is the best way to discuss root cause analysis processes, I just work here.
“Eleanor Rigby” by Douglas Coupland: The inventor of Generation X presents his second good novel in a row (after several books that I didn’t like and in the case of “Polaroids from the Dead” one that I actively despised). The fun thing about Douglas is that even though you know that his plots could never happen in real life you still connect to the characters. This is a really good book to pick up.
“Dinner for Two” by Mike Gayle: For the first time, my reading a Mike Gayle book did not result in my social life spiraling out of control. That said, I have his latest book “Turning Thirty” sitting in my living room and I’m scared of opening it. For those wondering, Mike Gayle writes the guy version of Bridget Jones. I’m still not sure if that is a good thing or not.
“The Smartest Guys in the Room” by Bethany McLean and Peter Elkind: The best book written so far on just what happened at Enron. Goes probably a little too deep into some of the financial dealings for the average reader but if you already have some basic knowledge it really lets you see how a top company could be formed on the basis of a Ponzi scheme. Or, if you’re me, you get to find out just what the people on the other end of the phone were doing for much of my career in the energy industry.
“Songbook” by Nick Hornby: I love this concept from the writer of “High Fidelity”. Two or three page discussions on various songs but not written as a music critic. It is more of a discussion of how music fits into one’s life. I’ve stolen the concept once for this blog and I’ll be making more posts of that nature in the coming months.
“Killing Yourself to Live” by Chuck Klosterman: First thing to note is that Chuck looks like a young pre-rehab Corey Feldman in his book jacket picture. This memoir is based on a road trip Chuck took in which he traveled to various locations where famous rock stars died. Along the way he spends half the book talking about his relationships with women. It’s as odd of a combination as it sounds.
“Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince” by J.K. Rowling: Dude, I can’t believe that Harry died at the end. Oh wait, you haven’t read the book yet? You mean that you don’t know that Hermionie turns on him and joins the dark side of the force? Oops, my bad.
“Glass Soup” by Jonathan Carroll: I will always, always push for people to read Jonathan’s books. I think that he is one of the most brilliant writers out there today. Of course, this book featured a talking stick of butter, a character who was eight inches tall and focused on whether or not one could come back from the dead. Let’s just say that this isn’t your typical book.
“Fun is Good” by Mike Veeck: This is my book recommendation for all of those who work in offices. The entire idea is that you have to find where your passions lie and build a work environment that inspires people to find their passions. Typically I hate books on management but this one was extremely well done.
“A Man Without a Country” by Kurt Vonnegut: What can I say? At the end of the day, I’ve probably stolen three quarters of my writing style from Vonnegut and those he inspired. I think that we both share a view of the world that is often considered cynical when in reality it is not. We simply hold the universe to the same standards that we hold ourselves and are continually disappointed.
“The Merry Wives of Windsor” by William Shakespeare: Continuing my streak of one Shakespeare play a year. As with most Shakespeare comedies we have dumb guys, brilliant women, mistaken identities and random acts of extreme violence. I believe that I have now read every major comedy and will now have to embark on all of the Henry plays. I think that I’ll need a spotter for those.
The five random CDs of the week:
1) Zachary Richard “Women in the Room”
2) Son Volt “Wide Swing Tremolo”
3) Cat Power “You Are Free”
4) Anders Osborne “Living Room”
5) Beth Orton “Best Bit”
“On the Road” by Jack Kerouac: This was my challenge reading for 2005. I am still amazed that just fifty years ago you could hitchhike your way around the country and no one considered it odd. Now if you even mention the concept most people would think that you are out of your mind. Not sure if I ever got the grand point of the book other than at some point in your life you just need to pick up stakes and go on a walkabout.
“Assassination Vacation”, “The Partly Cloudy Patriot”, “Take the Canoli” and “Radio On” all by Sarah Vowell: I’m including this to discuss a certain aspect of my personality. I picked up Assassination Vacation after catching Sarah due some publicity for it and I was intrigued by the concept (a writer travels to the sites of presidential assassinations as a type of tragedy tourist). Read it and really liked her style so I then went out and read everything that she has ever written. I have done this with a number of writers. Something catches my eye and next thing I know I have an entire shelf filled with their work. With someone like Sarah, it is well worth the effort.
“Feet on the Street” by Roy Blount Jr.: A walking tour of New Orleans that begins with a discussion of what will happen when the storm comes and destroys the city. That is what made New Orleans great, the reason everyone there lived for the moment is because they knew that the city was temporary. I just can’t believe that the time was so fleeting.
“Planet Simpson” by Chris Turner: A sociological examination of The Simpsons in which the author examines many of the themes being confronted by members of Generation X using examples from The Simpsons. Once again I am forced to realize that every great idea I might possibly have has already been done.
“The Goal” by Eliyahan Goldratt: It’s a novel discussing how to improve efficiency at a manufacturing plant. I read it for work. Don’t ask me why someone decides that a novel is the best way to discuss root cause analysis processes, I just work here.
“Eleanor Rigby” by Douglas Coupland: The inventor of Generation X presents his second good novel in a row (after several books that I didn’t like and in the case of “Polaroids from the Dead” one that I actively despised). The fun thing about Douglas is that even though you know that his plots could never happen in real life you still connect to the characters. This is a really good book to pick up.
“Dinner for Two” by Mike Gayle: For the first time, my reading a Mike Gayle book did not result in my social life spiraling out of control. That said, I have his latest book “Turning Thirty” sitting in my living room and I’m scared of opening it. For those wondering, Mike Gayle writes the guy version of Bridget Jones. I’m still not sure if that is a good thing or not.
“The Smartest Guys in the Room” by Bethany McLean and Peter Elkind: The best book written so far on just what happened at Enron. Goes probably a little too deep into some of the financial dealings for the average reader but if you already have some basic knowledge it really lets you see how a top company could be formed on the basis of a Ponzi scheme. Or, if you’re me, you get to find out just what the people on the other end of the phone were doing for much of my career in the energy industry.
“Songbook” by Nick Hornby: I love this concept from the writer of “High Fidelity”. Two or three page discussions on various songs but not written as a music critic. It is more of a discussion of how music fits into one’s life. I’ve stolen the concept once for this blog and I’ll be making more posts of that nature in the coming months.
“Killing Yourself to Live” by Chuck Klosterman: First thing to note is that Chuck looks like a young pre-rehab Corey Feldman in his book jacket picture. This memoir is based on a road trip Chuck took in which he traveled to various locations where famous rock stars died. Along the way he spends half the book talking about his relationships with women. It’s as odd of a combination as it sounds.
“Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince” by J.K. Rowling: Dude, I can’t believe that Harry died at the end. Oh wait, you haven’t read the book yet? You mean that you don’t know that Hermionie turns on him and joins the dark side of the force? Oops, my bad.
“Glass Soup” by Jonathan Carroll: I will always, always push for people to read Jonathan’s books. I think that he is one of the most brilliant writers out there today. Of course, this book featured a talking stick of butter, a character who was eight inches tall and focused on whether or not one could come back from the dead. Let’s just say that this isn’t your typical book.
“Fun is Good” by Mike Veeck: This is my book recommendation for all of those who work in offices. The entire idea is that you have to find where your passions lie and build a work environment that inspires people to find their passions. Typically I hate books on management but this one was extremely well done.
“A Man Without a Country” by Kurt Vonnegut: What can I say? At the end of the day, I’ve probably stolen three quarters of my writing style from Vonnegut and those he inspired. I think that we both share a view of the world that is often considered cynical when in reality it is not. We simply hold the universe to the same standards that we hold ourselves and are continually disappointed.
“The Merry Wives of Windsor” by William Shakespeare: Continuing my streak of one Shakespeare play a year. As with most Shakespeare comedies we have dumb guys, brilliant women, mistaken identities and random acts of extreme violence. I believe that I have now read every major comedy and will now have to embark on all of the Henry plays. I think that I’ll need a spotter for those.
The five random CDs of the week:
1) Zachary Richard “Women in the Room”
2) Son Volt “Wide Swing Tremolo”
3) Cat Power “You Are Free”
4) Anders Osborne “Living Room”
5) Beth Orton “Best Bit”
Thursday, January 05, 2006
Sports talk
So I just finished watching Illinois beat up on Michigan State. I do have to say that seeing every single person in Assembly Hall wearing orange is a really impressive sight. It makes it really tough to watch the game given the orange background but it is really cool. Hell, when I went to school there you had a hard time persuading us not to wear the other team’s jerseys. As a friend of mine put it, “Who do you want to support: Michigan’s Fab Five or another .500 Illini squad?” I’m just amazed to see my school actually having school spirit.
I should probably comment on last night’s football game but I am really struggling to because I know all of my ND friends will hate me for this next statement. I was actually cheering for USC. I know you are all calling me traitor but hear me out. I do hate USC but they do rank behind North Carolina, Florida State, Northwestern and wherever Bruce Pearl has ended up coaching basketball as my least favorite schools in the country. But I also put the Big 12 in this category of “Teams I don’t want to see win” and Texas falls into that category. See, all I ever get to hear out here is Big 12 sports and I hate it. I can’t convince people that outside of a tri-state area no one gives a damn about the Big 12. That deciding that putting Texas A&M-Pitt on television over ND-Purdue is the dumbest thing I’ve ever heard. So all I ever do is wait for the Big 12 to choke in big games so I can gloat. And USC even screws that up for me. God how I hate that school.
On the other hand, Keith Jackson on commentary is always a wonder to behold. Keith doesn’t even bother researching anymore. He’s seen USC so many times he’ll just start talking about Marcus Allen at running back and figure that people will know what he means. Plus, there is no one better at reading ABC commercials. I think he cancelled a few shows last night by reading the commercial in a tone of “I bet that show sucks.”
Sticking with some football news, Lynn Swann is running for governor of Pennsylvania. Because if there is one thing this country needs, it is someone adept at running the post route. I’m sorry but I just can’t support this. He wasn’t even the best receiver on the team. Now if John Stallworth was running for governor I’d be sending in donations. Especially if he gave Jack Lambert a Secretary of State position. That would be awesome.
I’ll finish with a voicemail from Super Dave. We have apparently found a cool personalized license plate: PVNRT. If you’re a science geek you will know that immediately. I think that is up there with whenever anyone asks what my favorite number is I answer, “6.02 times 10 to the 23rd.” Honestly, I have a decade of training and experience as an engineer and that is one of the few things that I actually remember.
I should probably comment on last night’s football game but I am really struggling to because I know all of my ND friends will hate me for this next statement. I was actually cheering for USC. I know you are all calling me traitor but hear me out. I do hate USC but they do rank behind North Carolina, Florida State, Northwestern and wherever Bruce Pearl has ended up coaching basketball as my least favorite schools in the country. But I also put the Big 12 in this category of “Teams I don’t want to see win” and Texas falls into that category. See, all I ever get to hear out here is Big 12 sports and I hate it. I can’t convince people that outside of a tri-state area no one gives a damn about the Big 12. That deciding that putting Texas A&M-Pitt on television over ND-Purdue is the dumbest thing I’ve ever heard. So all I ever do is wait for the Big 12 to choke in big games so I can gloat. And USC even screws that up for me. God how I hate that school.
On the other hand, Keith Jackson on commentary is always a wonder to behold. Keith doesn’t even bother researching anymore. He’s seen USC so many times he’ll just start talking about Marcus Allen at running back and figure that people will know what he means. Plus, there is no one better at reading ABC commercials. I think he cancelled a few shows last night by reading the commercial in a tone of “I bet that show sucks.”
Sticking with some football news, Lynn Swann is running for governor of Pennsylvania. Because if there is one thing this country needs, it is someone adept at running the post route. I’m sorry but I just can’t support this. He wasn’t even the best receiver on the team. Now if John Stallworth was running for governor I’d be sending in donations. Especially if he gave Jack Lambert a Secretary of State position. That would be awesome.
I’ll finish with a voicemail from Super Dave. We have apparently found a cool personalized license plate: PVNRT. If you’re a science geek you will know that immediately. I think that is up there with whenever anyone asks what my favorite number is I answer, “6.02 times 10 to the 23rd.” Honestly, I have a decade of training and experience as an engineer and that is one of the few things that I actually remember.
Wednesday, January 04, 2006
Shaping up for winter
I’m going to break away from the year in review for a little bit here. I still need to do my books of the year but that can wait until next week, in part because I’m still finishing off something I’ve been reading for two weeks. Plus, I don’t know if those lists are interesting to read. However, they are just a blast to write and every once in a while what I write in this blog is purely for my own enjoyment.
That probably ties to a great comment from earlier this week: whether I’m more scared by the fact that I’ve written 300 pages or by the fact that people have actually read 300 pages that I wrote. Scared really isn’t the right word here. I’m impressed of myself that I have been this prolific but it isn’t that unusual. On Sunday I created my “journal2006” file in Word, marking my ninth year of keeping a writer’s journal. I never wrote as much as I am now but the goal was always to write every day and now I am finally achieving that goal. And that fact that people have read all of this doesn’t scare me, it absolutely floors me. I like to think that what I write is funny and interesting but knowing that there is an audience makes me think that maybe, just maybe, I might actually have some talent. Not much, but some.
Anyway, some more interesting notes from my life. I have apparently come down with my annual winter cold. This happens to me every year, usually around the holidays. I get the sinus cold from hell and can’t breathe for the next two weeks. I started coming down with it on Monday (immediately after I did three miles on the treadmill). If this teaches me one thing, it is that I should never, ever exercise.
Yes, I’m starting to exercise again. It’s not a resolution, it is simply something that I have to do. I am carrying more weight than I should and I’ve reached that age where I have to start eating healthy and exercise and worry about my cholesterol. Sigh. Also, Celebrity Fit Club 3 has just started on VH1 so I have something to compare myself to and some of the people on that show are my exact height and weight. I figure if Young MC can lose weight, so can I. It is great to see that show continue in its efforts to find the lowest level celebrities imaginable. Does Tempest Bledsoe even count as a celebrity? How does a guy who starred in Grease make the cut? And how has Ashton Kutcher filmed Beauty and the Geek 2 without my getting a casting call? Talk about a miscarriage of justice.
Ok, last thought based on something I saw on Ticketmaster today. We are talking the ultimate concert of the year here. Harrah’s Casino. Valentine’s Day. Air Supply. I am so there, assuming that I can get a date. I can’t see how anyone could turn me down. I’ll just be like, “Hey Baby. You. Me. Valentine’s Day. Air Supply.” That line is so money. Heck, I’ll even throw in dinner at Sizzler because I’m just that type of guy.
That probably ties to a great comment from earlier this week: whether I’m more scared by the fact that I’ve written 300 pages or by the fact that people have actually read 300 pages that I wrote. Scared really isn’t the right word here. I’m impressed of myself that I have been this prolific but it isn’t that unusual. On Sunday I created my “journal2006” file in Word, marking my ninth year of keeping a writer’s journal. I never wrote as much as I am now but the goal was always to write every day and now I am finally achieving that goal. And that fact that people have read all of this doesn’t scare me, it absolutely floors me. I like to think that what I write is funny and interesting but knowing that there is an audience makes me think that maybe, just maybe, I might actually have some talent. Not much, but some.
Anyway, some more interesting notes from my life. I have apparently come down with my annual winter cold. This happens to me every year, usually around the holidays. I get the sinus cold from hell and can’t breathe for the next two weeks. I started coming down with it on Monday (immediately after I did three miles on the treadmill). If this teaches me one thing, it is that I should never, ever exercise.
Yes, I’m starting to exercise again. It’s not a resolution, it is simply something that I have to do. I am carrying more weight than I should and I’ve reached that age where I have to start eating healthy and exercise and worry about my cholesterol. Sigh. Also, Celebrity Fit Club 3 has just started on VH1 so I have something to compare myself to and some of the people on that show are my exact height and weight. I figure if Young MC can lose weight, so can I. It is great to see that show continue in its efforts to find the lowest level celebrities imaginable. Does Tempest Bledsoe even count as a celebrity? How does a guy who starred in Grease make the cut? And how has Ashton Kutcher filmed Beauty and the Geek 2 without my getting a casting call? Talk about a miscarriage of justice.
Ok, last thought based on something I saw on Ticketmaster today. We are talking the ultimate concert of the year here. Harrah’s Casino. Valentine’s Day. Air Supply. I am so there, assuming that I can get a date. I can’t see how anyone could turn me down. I’ll just be like, “Hey Baby. You. Me. Valentine’s Day. Air Supply.” That line is so money. Heck, I’ll even throw in dinner at Sizzler because I’m just that type of guy.
Tuesday, January 03, 2006
2005 Concerts: Part Three
Time to finish off the 2005 concert extravaganza. Two things to note: 1) Top 10 concerts are in bold and 2) If anyone is interested, I will be putting together a CD set featuring songs from every band that I saw in 2005 that I actually have a recording of. Last year, this turned out to be a two disc set and I’m guessing that this year will be a three disc extravaganza. If you ever want to really get an idea as to how broad my musical tastes are, let me know and I’ll send you a copy once it is complete. Now, on to the list…
Beaumont Club (Kansas City, MO)
1) Gavin DeGraw (Opening Acts: Ingram Hill, Michael Tolcher): I went to this show? What in the world inspired me to go see Gavin DeGraw? Seriously, I don’t know what I was thinking here. All I remember is that Gavin played piano and that Ingram Hill took the stage to a Jump, Little Children song, which meant that everything that they did from that moment on was going to be disappointing. They should have just played the Jump, Little Children CD for forty-five minutes.
2) Big Head Todd and the Monsters (Opening Act: Carbon Leaf): This was the first time that I saw Carbon Leaf and the starting of my odd relationship to the band. They stepped on stage looking as if they had just stumbled out of an Urban Outfitters and I had a feeling that this was going to be a Suck Factor FiveTM performance. Instead, they played a thoughtful and enjoyable set. Still, every time I see them I keep waiting for them to suck. Big Head Todd played the exact same set that they have for the last ten years and I don’t understand why I think that will ever change. I even got an email today inviting me to buy VIP tickets to their upcoming show so I could meet the band. It is tempting, if only so I could grab them and yell, “Learn a new song, damnit.” (Also, this is the only show this year where I very nearly got into a fight. Long story but man, this was the worst crowd of the year just filled with “this is our one night out a year so we get to be idiots”)
3) Social Distortion (Opening Acts: Street Dogs, Backyard Babies): I saw this the day after Big Head Todd, in the weirdest double bill imaginable. I know that no one believes that I have a punk rock past but just because I never had a Mohawk doesn’t mean that I never listened to the music. It was just a packed show, I think that every punker in the KC metro was at this show and while I stood out I still had a good time. The 11 year olds who were crowd surfing were having a better time, though. Backyard Babies are the best Norwegian punk rock band that I’ve ever seen, mainly because they are the only Norwegian punk rock band in existence.
4) North Mississippi All Stars (Opening Act: Back Porch Mary): After a while, all of these shows start to run together. I know I ran into Steve the Bartender at this show but otherwise there isn’t much sticking in my head. The All Stars put on their usual show where they combine delta blues with a funk rhythm for a real compelling sound but that’s about it. I’ll take better notes next time.
Uptown Theater (Kansas City, MO)
1) Lyle Lovett, Joe Ely, Guy Clark, and John Hiatt: This wins the award for my most disappointing show of the year. Not that it was a bad show, just that it didn’t live up to its potential. I was expecting to have my life inalterably changed by seeing four of the best singer songwriters sharing the same stage. Instead it was a short two hour show with little interplay between the four of them. I think this is something that works really well when it happens organically in Austin but doesn’t translate to a cross country tour.
2) The Get Up Kids (Opening Acts: Veda, Lucero): This was the farewell show for The Get Up Kids, ending a decade of emo in their hometown. (Ok, they’re not really an emo band but that’s what everyone calls them). Lots of great things from this show. First, every single person in this crowd was into the band. I mean, people traveled from Sidney, Australia to be at this show and there is no place on this planet farther away from KC than Sidney. Second, while it was a farewell show it really turned out to be more of a celebration. The crowd didn’t chant “Please don’t go” it was more of a triumphant “The Get Up Kids”. Finally, the band ended on the right note, joking with each other and being emotional and showing that a band could break up without everyone hating each other. I’ll miss these guys.
3) Elvis Costello and the Imposters (Opening Act: Hem): Let’s see the first time I went to this concert I found out it was postponed due to Elvis having throat problems, which no one mentioned until I got to the venue. And then Ticketmaster called me an hour later to tell me that the show was postponed. At the rescheduled show Elvis had to have a cortisone shot to the throat (and constant throat sprays) just to make it through the show. It was an impressive display of courage to make it through the show but it also meant that he wasn’t at his best. Also, this was one of those shows where I actually had a seat, which meant that if I stood I had a lot of people behind me yelling at me and you really need to be standing and moving to enjoy Elvis.
4) Nickel Creek (Opening Act: The Ditty Bops): The winner of the most unexpected surprise award of the year. When I saw Nickel Creek last year I thought that they were good musicians but didn’t really see much in the way of passion. This year I was just blown away. They went wild on stage, feeding off the crowd energy and tiptoed the line between showing that they are virtuosos and playing to the crowd. Also, they were having a blast on stage and when you are watching people having the time of their life up there the show becomes that much more enjoyable. The Ditty Bops were hilarious and included a band member on stilts at one point. I don’t think I’ve ever laughed so much at a concert in my life.
Grand Emporium (Kansas City, MO)
1) Charlie Robison (Opening Acts: OK Jones, Brandon Jenkins): Favorite lyric of the year goes to OK Jones with “You’ve got to get the fuck out of Kansas, you’ve got to make your way to LA, because you might be the king of this old bar but here is where you’re going to stay.” Charlie is the more talented performer of the Robison brothers but Bruce is the much better songwriter and, in all honesty, I have more fun seeing Bruce play.
2) Hank Williams III (Opening Act: Hazard County Girls): So, in the good old days the Grand Emporium was this dirty, nasty dive of a bar with forty year old concert posters on the wall, a floor that you wouldn’t or more accurately couldn’t pick anything up from and bathrooms that were effectively nonexistent. Meaning it was an awesome place to see a show. Now, the new owners cleaned it up and turned it into a Sex and the City type martini bar, which would be fine except that they book the exact same acts. So, a Hank III crowd, which consists of people in overalls, Mohawks, and aging musical hipsters, all of whom really just want to stand around, drink Pabst, and break stuff, are forced into a really upscale establishment and get to pay six bucks for a beer. Hank III is great fun as he morphs from Hank III (his country show) to Assjack (his punk/thrash metal band) during his set but the venue was just wrong.
3) Jack Ingram: I don’t think that I’ve ever seen a bad set out of Jack Ingram. The guy just writes good songs and he is always amazed that people will come out and pay too see him play when he has admitted that he would do this for free. I really recommend finding any of his stuff and giving it a listen. Even if you will claim up and down that you don’t like country music listen to this and I’ll bet that you’ll be humming the songs for days afterwards.
4) Bettie Serveert (Opening Act: In the Fire): I’ve mentioned that I have a spreadsheet listing all of my CDs before (even though why I decide to post on the Internet “Yes I am a geek” always eludes me). Well, in that spreadsheet I also mark whether or not I’ve seen the band live. That fact is the only reason I was at this show. I had bought Dutch college rock darlings Bettie Serveert’s disc “Dust Bunnies” about a decade ago and saw them live just so I could check a box on a spreadsheet. Yes, I do have way too much free time.
5) Kathleen Edwards: When I put together my top 10 list I was surprised that this one stayed on the list. Not that it didn’t deserve it, just that it beat out a lot of good shows. The thing is, Kathleen took the stage and put on a simple and moving performance. With her guitar and band she went through her two CDs and for the entire length of the set I didn’t have a care in the world. All I wanted to do is listen to this Canadian girl sing songs and tell stories. At the end of the day, it’s moments like that I find enjoyable.
6) Freakwater (Opening Act: The Zincs): Techincally, The Zincs only consisted of one guy so it just should have been The Zinc. In what might be a sign, I knew probably half of the people in attendance since they were all either a) in bands that I have seen or b) spent way too much time at the front of the stage with me over the past two years. I’m a Freakwater fan though I will never try to convince anyone else to listen to them. They sing these Appalachian hill country murder ballads with very unique voices that sound almost, but not quite, like cats being tortured. Sometimes music is an acquired taste.
Davey’s Uptown Ramblers Club (Kansas City, MO)
1) Nora O’Connor: Went out to see her because she records on Bloodshot Records, one of my favorite record labels out of Chicago. It really doesn’t take much to get me to a show sometimes. Also, she did cover The Handsome Family’s “Drunk by Noon”, which allowed me to sing along with the chorus of “If my life lasted only one day I’d still be drunk by noon.”
2) Robbie Fulks: You know, I’ve probably seen Robbie in concert at least once a year for the past eight years. Whatever town I’m in, when he shows up I make my way to his show. The guy has a great ear for classic country music but also ties it to an immense pop knowledge. He’s covered ABBA’s “Dancing Queen” for crying out loud. The guy is funny as hell and always cool to watch. Check him out if you ever get the chance.
3 and 4) Alejandro Escovedo (Two night stand) (Opening Acts: John Dee Graham, Peckipah): This is my other choice for concert of the year. While The Frames were more exhilarating this show was much more moving. Two years ago (right when I moved to KC) I found out that Alejandro was very ill and that there were serious questions as to whether he was going to make it or not. Given how much his music has meant to me I did my part and contributed to his medical fund. Thankfully, Alejandro has returned healthy and reinvigorated and played what was essentially a two night thank you to all of his friends in KC. The guy is just incredible, he used to open for the Sex Pistols and now plays in a band with a cello and a violin. I am so glad that I got to witness both shows.
5) Stacey Earle and Mark Stuart: Stacey Earle is Steve Earle’s little sister, making this my sibling tandem of the year. This show had one of the coolest moments of the year. Stacey and Mark finish their encore by singing a gospel song. First they are playing their guitars and singing. Then they move to just singing a capella. Then they leave the stage, make their way through the crowd, singing all the while. Right when they hit the last note, they reach the back door of the club and walk out. The crowd cheers, which is funny since by this time they were in the parking lot and the door had locked behind them. So we all had to wait until they made their way back around to the front of the club so that we could cheer them again.
6) The Gaslights (Opening Act: Vago): The Gaslights feature one of my bartenders on lead guitar. So not only do I tip my bartenders well, I even help them out by attending their side projects. That is the sign of a good customer.
7) Rex Hobart and the Misery Boys (Opening Act: The Litigators): I ended 2005 the exact same way I ended 2004, seeing Rex and the Boys at Davey’s. The stage was decorated like the prom night from hell with streamers and flowers everywhere. Lots of flowers, which ended up being tossed at the band and at the crowd throughout the night. I took a carnation to the face at one point. This was less of a show and more of a well behaved riot. And honestly, I couldn’t think of another way to end the year.
Will I see this many shows in 2006? I have no idea but until something else enters my life to fill up my free time, if a good band is coming to town I’ll be there. If a mediocre band is coming to town, I’ll be there. If a bad band is coming to town, I’ll probably show up just to laugh at them.
Beaumont Club (Kansas City, MO)
1) Gavin DeGraw (Opening Acts: Ingram Hill, Michael Tolcher): I went to this show? What in the world inspired me to go see Gavin DeGraw? Seriously, I don’t know what I was thinking here. All I remember is that Gavin played piano and that Ingram Hill took the stage to a Jump, Little Children song, which meant that everything that they did from that moment on was going to be disappointing. They should have just played the Jump, Little Children CD for forty-five minutes.
2) Big Head Todd and the Monsters (Opening Act: Carbon Leaf): This was the first time that I saw Carbon Leaf and the starting of my odd relationship to the band. They stepped on stage looking as if they had just stumbled out of an Urban Outfitters and I had a feeling that this was going to be a Suck Factor FiveTM performance. Instead, they played a thoughtful and enjoyable set. Still, every time I see them I keep waiting for them to suck. Big Head Todd played the exact same set that they have for the last ten years and I don’t understand why I think that will ever change. I even got an email today inviting me to buy VIP tickets to their upcoming show so I could meet the band. It is tempting, if only so I could grab them and yell, “Learn a new song, damnit.” (Also, this is the only show this year where I very nearly got into a fight. Long story but man, this was the worst crowd of the year just filled with “this is our one night out a year so we get to be idiots”)
3) Social Distortion (Opening Acts: Street Dogs, Backyard Babies): I saw this the day after Big Head Todd, in the weirdest double bill imaginable. I know that no one believes that I have a punk rock past but just because I never had a Mohawk doesn’t mean that I never listened to the music. It was just a packed show, I think that every punker in the KC metro was at this show and while I stood out I still had a good time. The 11 year olds who were crowd surfing were having a better time, though. Backyard Babies are the best Norwegian punk rock band that I’ve ever seen, mainly because they are the only Norwegian punk rock band in existence.
4) North Mississippi All Stars (Opening Act: Back Porch Mary): After a while, all of these shows start to run together. I know I ran into Steve the Bartender at this show but otherwise there isn’t much sticking in my head. The All Stars put on their usual show where they combine delta blues with a funk rhythm for a real compelling sound but that’s about it. I’ll take better notes next time.
Uptown Theater (Kansas City, MO)
1) Lyle Lovett, Joe Ely, Guy Clark, and John Hiatt: This wins the award for my most disappointing show of the year. Not that it was a bad show, just that it didn’t live up to its potential. I was expecting to have my life inalterably changed by seeing four of the best singer songwriters sharing the same stage. Instead it was a short two hour show with little interplay between the four of them. I think this is something that works really well when it happens organically in Austin but doesn’t translate to a cross country tour.
2) The Get Up Kids (Opening Acts: Veda, Lucero): This was the farewell show for The Get Up Kids, ending a decade of emo in their hometown. (Ok, they’re not really an emo band but that’s what everyone calls them). Lots of great things from this show. First, every single person in this crowd was into the band. I mean, people traveled from Sidney, Australia to be at this show and there is no place on this planet farther away from KC than Sidney. Second, while it was a farewell show it really turned out to be more of a celebration. The crowd didn’t chant “Please don’t go” it was more of a triumphant “The Get Up Kids”. Finally, the band ended on the right note, joking with each other and being emotional and showing that a band could break up without everyone hating each other. I’ll miss these guys.
3) Elvis Costello and the Imposters (Opening Act: Hem): Let’s see the first time I went to this concert I found out it was postponed due to Elvis having throat problems, which no one mentioned until I got to the venue. And then Ticketmaster called me an hour later to tell me that the show was postponed. At the rescheduled show Elvis had to have a cortisone shot to the throat (and constant throat sprays) just to make it through the show. It was an impressive display of courage to make it through the show but it also meant that he wasn’t at his best. Also, this was one of those shows where I actually had a seat, which meant that if I stood I had a lot of people behind me yelling at me and you really need to be standing and moving to enjoy Elvis.
4) Nickel Creek (Opening Act: The Ditty Bops): The winner of the most unexpected surprise award of the year. When I saw Nickel Creek last year I thought that they were good musicians but didn’t really see much in the way of passion. This year I was just blown away. They went wild on stage, feeding off the crowd energy and tiptoed the line between showing that they are virtuosos and playing to the crowd. Also, they were having a blast on stage and when you are watching people having the time of their life up there the show becomes that much more enjoyable. The Ditty Bops were hilarious and included a band member on stilts at one point. I don’t think I’ve ever laughed so much at a concert in my life.
Grand Emporium (Kansas City, MO)
1) Charlie Robison (Opening Acts: OK Jones, Brandon Jenkins): Favorite lyric of the year goes to OK Jones with “You’ve got to get the fuck out of Kansas, you’ve got to make your way to LA, because you might be the king of this old bar but here is where you’re going to stay.” Charlie is the more talented performer of the Robison brothers but Bruce is the much better songwriter and, in all honesty, I have more fun seeing Bruce play.
2) Hank Williams III (Opening Act: Hazard County Girls): So, in the good old days the Grand Emporium was this dirty, nasty dive of a bar with forty year old concert posters on the wall, a floor that you wouldn’t or more accurately couldn’t pick anything up from and bathrooms that were effectively nonexistent. Meaning it was an awesome place to see a show. Now, the new owners cleaned it up and turned it into a Sex and the City type martini bar, which would be fine except that they book the exact same acts. So, a Hank III crowd, which consists of people in overalls, Mohawks, and aging musical hipsters, all of whom really just want to stand around, drink Pabst, and break stuff, are forced into a really upscale establishment and get to pay six bucks for a beer. Hank III is great fun as he morphs from Hank III (his country show) to Assjack (his punk/thrash metal band) during his set but the venue was just wrong.
3) Jack Ingram: I don’t think that I’ve ever seen a bad set out of Jack Ingram. The guy just writes good songs and he is always amazed that people will come out and pay too see him play when he has admitted that he would do this for free. I really recommend finding any of his stuff and giving it a listen. Even if you will claim up and down that you don’t like country music listen to this and I’ll bet that you’ll be humming the songs for days afterwards.
4) Bettie Serveert (Opening Act: In the Fire): I’ve mentioned that I have a spreadsheet listing all of my CDs before (even though why I decide to post on the Internet “Yes I am a geek” always eludes me). Well, in that spreadsheet I also mark whether or not I’ve seen the band live. That fact is the only reason I was at this show. I had bought Dutch college rock darlings Bettie Serveert’s disc “Dust Bunnies” about a decade ago and saw them live just so I could check a box on a spreadsheet. Yes, I do have way too much free time.
5) Kathleen Edwards: When I put together my top 10 list I was surprised that this one stayed on the list. Not that it didn’t deserve it, just that it beat out a lot of good shows. The thing is, Kathleen took the stage and put on a simple and moving performance. With her guitar and band she went through her two CDs and for the entire length of the set I didn’t have a care in the world. All I wanted to do is listen to this Canadian girl sing songs and tell stories. At the end of the day, it’s moments like that I find enjoyable.
6) Freakwater (Opening Act: The Zincs): Techincally, The Zincs only consisted of one guy so it just should have been The Zinc. In what might be a sign, I knew probably half of the people in attendance since they were all either a) in bands that I have seen or b) spent way too much time at the front of the stage with me over the past two years. I’m a Freakwater fan though I will never try to convince anyone else to listen to them. They sing these Appalachian hill country murder ballads with very unique voices that sound almost, but not quite, like cats being tortured. Sometimes music is an acquired taste.
Davey’s Uptown Ramblers Club (Kansas City, MO)
1) Nora O’Connor: Went out to see her because she records on Bloodshot Records, one of my favorite record labels out of Chicago. It really doesn’t take much to get me to a show sometimes. Also, she did cover The Handsome Family’s “Drunk by Noon”, which allowed me to sing along with the chorus of “If my life lasted only one day I’d still be drunk by noon.”
2) Robbie Fulks: You know, I’ve probably seen Robbie in concert at least once a year for the past eight years. Whatever town I’m in, when he shows up I make my way to his show. The guy has a great ear for classic country music but also ties it to an immense pop knowledge. He’s covered ABBA’s “Dancing Queen” for crying out loud. The guy is funny as hell and always cool to watch. Check him out if you ever get the chance.
3 and 4) Alejandro Escovedo (Two night stand) (Opening Acts: John Dee Graham, Peckipah): This is my other choice for concert of the year. While The Frames were more exhilarating this show was much more moving. Two years ago (right when I moved to KC) I found out that Alejandro was very ill and that there were serious questions as to whether he was going to make it or not. Given how much his music has meant to me I did my part and contributed to his medical fund. Thankfully, Alejandro has returned healthy and reinvigorated and played what was essentially a two night thank you to all of his friends in KC. The guy is just incredible, he used to open for the Sex Pistols and now plays in a band with a cello and a violin. I am so glad that I got to witness both shows.
5) Stacey Earle and Mark Stuart: Stacey Earle is Steve Earle’s little sister, making this my sibling tandem of the year. This show had one of the coolest moments of the year. Stacey and Mark finish their encore by singing a gospel song. First they are playing their guitars and singing. Then they move to just singing a capella. Then they leave the stage, make their way through the crowd, singing all the while. Right when they hit the last note, they reach the back door of the club and walk out. The crowd cheers, which is funny since by this time they were in the parking lot and the door had locked behind them. So we all had to wait until they made their way back around to the front of the club so that we could cheer them again.
6) The Gaslights (Opening Act: Vago): The Gaslights feature one of my bartenders on lead guitar. So not only do I tip my bartenders well, I even help them out by attending their side projects. That is the sign of a good customer.
7) Rex Hobart and the Misery Boys (Opening Act: The Litigators): I ended 2005 the exact same way I ended 2004, seeing Rex and the Boys at Davey’s. The stage was decorated like the prom night from hell with streamers and flowers everywhere. Lots of flowers, which ended up being tossed at the band and at the crowd throughout the night. I took a carnation to the face at one point. This was less of a show and more of a well behaved riot. And honestly, I couldn’t think of another way to end the year.
Will I see this many shows in 2006? I have no idea but until something else enters my life to fill up my free time, if a good band is coming to town I’ll be there. If a mediocre band is coming to town, I’ll be there. If a bad band is coming to town, I’ll probably show up just to laugh at them.
Monday, January 02, 2006
2005 Concerts: Part Two
(E: In my year-end Report I believe that I gave the concert count as of 12/30/05, thus the 48 vs. 49 show difference since I did make it to Rex Hobart that night. The "Different Acts" number is really debatable since I think I counted Lyle Lovett (solo acoustic in a songwriter circle) and Lyle Lovett and his Large Band as two separate acts. I still don't know if that's right or not.)
I’m not even going to talk about the Fiesta Bowl. I’m still too upset about the outcome. Instead, part two of my concert reviews, this time from Missouri and other places.
City Market (Kansas City, MO)
1) Ben Folds and Rufus Wainwright: Lots of memories of this show with almost none of them having to do with the show itself. See, this was an outdoor show and it rained the entire afternoon resulting in the stage not being set when the show was scheduled to start. Of course, no one mentioned this to the crowd as we all stood in a line five blocks long for an hour and a half for no apparent reason. A wait that gave me plenty of time to a) see a really pretty girl, b) start up a conversation with said girl, c) fail so miserably with the conversation that I suddenly felt like I was 16 again and d) got to spend the next 45 minutes standing next to her because there was absolutely nowhere to escape to. Man, it’s painful just thinking about it. Rufus had a much too short set but put on a good show. Still, he’s an excellent talent. Ben Folds broke a piano string in the first song and unlike a guitar, you can’t really restring a piano. It was just one of those shows. Plus, guys wearing K State football jerseys raising their beers and cheering when the song “Brick” is being played was as surreal as it sounds.
2) Robert Randolph Family Band (Opening Act: Martin Sexton): Actually, this was supposed to be Los Lonely Boys but a huge thunderstorm came through and I took off before they could even officially cancel the show. Martin Sexton jammed again and once again I was nonplussed. Robert Randolph was a lot of fun, he does things with a pedal steel that I don’t think it was ever made for, and I want to catch him at a show where I am not thinking about why I am standing in water in a parking lot next to a metal stage during a thunderstorm.
Starlight Theater (Kansas City, MO)
1) Jack Johnson (Opening Acts: Matt Costa, ALO): This show was much better than I expected. First of all, it was a really cool crowd when I expected to be surrounded by a mix of drunken college kids and thirtysomethings enjoying their one night out a year. Instead, I just got to sit out under the stars and relax and listen to Jack Johnson for two hours. I was surprised at how well his laid back persona and stage presence worked in a large venue. This just missed being a top ten show.
2) Lyle Lovett and his Large Band: Another show that featured a huge thunderstorm beforehand (I don’t have much luck with outdoor shows). This was a real thrill for me as I’ve missed opportunities to see Lyle in this format for a good decade now. Great sound, great style with band members appearing and disappearing at random intervals. I could have done without the ten minutes of having the crowd guess whether certain band members own a truck or not. I still don’t know what that was about. But it’s Lyle, he can do pretty much anything he wants.
Crown Center (Kansas City, MO)
1) Kansas City Irish Fest (Acts Seen: Cathie Ryan Band, Old Blind Dogs, Wolfstone): There are a lot of things I could mention about this night but I’ll keep things on the musical side of the ledger. While watching the Old Blind Dogs it occurred to me how amazing it is to see a guy play a fiddle and pull off what sounds like the most complicated piece of music imaginable and he doesn’t even look like he’s breathing hard. I know it is all muscle memory but it is just damn impressive, especially when you’ve seen more than enough guitar solos where it looks like the guitarist is in physical pain.
The Hurricane (Kansas City, MO)
1) Cracker: This was a Halloween show, which means that I a) saw the requisite woman dressed as Dorothy and b) spent the entire show standing in front of the show next to Gina, a big Cracker fan who just happened to be wearing bunny ears. That’s it, dressed perfectly normally with a pair of bunny ears. You have no idea how attractive that looks and how difficult it makes holding a conversation. This was one of those nights where I got to stand in front of the stage and watch someone that I listened to on 120 Minutes and enjoy every minute of it. And they played Camper Van Beethoven’s “Matchstick Man”, can’t beat that.
Record Bar (Kansas City, MO)
1) The Elders: Record Bar is the bar in which my beer tab is paid through my trivia winnings. I came in to this show as the second set was starting and as a general rule, don’t show up sober to the second half of a popular Irish rock band’s show. I was a good keg behind the crowd. The Elders are basically a KC version of The Frames so take that for what you will.
Knucklehead’s Saloon (Kansas City, MO)
1) The Iguanas: This is the show I was at on Thursday. To say that Knucklehead’s is in an industrial park is unfair to industrial parks. I honestly think that the train tracks run through the club itself. It would be a great roadhouse club if it was actually on a road. Anyway, The Iguanas are one of my favorite New Orleans bands and I hadn’t seen them in years. Twin saxophone assault (now with a trumpet player added in) combined with a Tex Mex flavor for a sound that you’ve probably never heard before. Lots of fun.
VooDoo Lounge At Harrah’s Casino (North Kansas City, MO)
1) Blues Traveler (Opening Act: Carbon Leaf): Note to the VooDoo Lounge: Hire some bartenders, please. If I end up having to watch Cowboy Mouth sober next month there is going to be some hell to pay. Note to Blues Traveler: A) I know it saved his life but John Popper was a lot more fun when he was fat, B) Does every song require a solo for each band member? And C) Play Run Around earlier so we can all go home. Sorry, I went to this show mainly for Carbon Leaf and forgot that Blues Traveler founded the Horde tour and is a jam band. My bad.
The Blue Note (Columbia, MO)
1) Son Volt (Opening Act: Black Diamond Heavies): This is the show where I drove two hours to see Son Volt who the next night were playing two blocks from my apartment. But it’s Son Volt, they are worth a two hour drive. While I still think that Jay Farrar is a genius I do prefer the earlier version of Son Volt. The fiddle and steel guitar is really missed in this incarnation. This show did allow me to hear Chickamauga played in concert, which was one of those “must experience in my lifetime” moments.
Fitzgerald’s (Berwyn, IL)
1) Anna Fermin’s Trigger Gospel (Opening Acts: The Habaleenas, The Yellow Hammers): Fitzgerald’s is my favorite club in the world located in my hometown of Berwyn. It is very possibly the only source of culture in that entire town. Anna Fermin sings just like Patsy Cline, which wouldn’t be that interesting except that she is Filipino and from Milwaukee. She really does make you wonder if your ears and eyes are experiencing the same moment. Lots of fun and this show gave me a chance to spend some time in one of my old haunts.
Preservation Hall (New Orleans, LA)
1) The Preservation Hall Jazz Band: Whenever you needed to have your soul saved (which in my experience was after about 48 hours in New Orleans), you always knew that you could sit on the floor of Preservation Hall and listen to the best Dixieland jazz that you ever did hear. This started off my night where I basically figured out what I was doing wrong in life. Preservation Hall did survive the flood though many of the musicians are still scattered about. I still wonder what I will now do when I need to get away from the world knowing that New Orleans just isn’t the same.
I’m not even going to talk about the Fiesta Bowl. I’m still too upset about the outcome. Instead, part two of my concert reviews, this time from Missouri and other places.
City Market (Kansas City, MO)
1) Ben Folds and Rufus Wainwright: Lots of memories of this show with almost none of them having to do with the show itself. See, this was an outdoor show and it rained the entire afternoon resulting in the stage not being set when the show was scheduled to start. Of course, no one mentioned this to the crowd as we all stood in a line five blocks long for an hour and a half for no apparent reason. A wait that gave me plenty of time to a) see a really pretty girl, b) start up a conversation with said girl, c) fail so miserably with the conversation that I suddenly felt like I was 16 again and d) got to spend the next 45 minutes standing next to her because there was absolutely nowhere to escape to. Man, it’s painful just thinking about it. Rufus had a much too short set but put on a good show. Still, he’s an excellent talent. Ben Folds broke a piano string in the first song and unlike a guitar, you can’t really restring a piano. It was just one of those shows. Plus, guys wearing K State football jerseys raising their beers and cheering when the song “Brick” is being played was as surreal as it sounds.
2) Robert Randolph Family Band (Opening Act: Martin Sexton): Actually, this was supposed to be Los Lonely Boys but a huge thunderstorm came through and I took off before they could even officially cancel the show. Martin Sexton jammed again and once again I was nonplussed. Robert Randolph was a lot of fun, he does things with a pedal steel that I don’t think it was ever made for, and I want to catch him at a show where I am not thinking about why I am standing in water in a parking lot next to a metal stage during a thunderstorm.
Starlight Theater (Kansas City, MO)
1) Jack Johnson (Opening Acts: Matt Costa, ALO): This show was much better than I expected. First of all, it was a really cool crowd when I expected to be surrounded by a mix of drunken college kids and thirtysomethings enjoying their one night out a year. Instead, I just got to sit out under the stars and relax and listen to Jack Johnson for two hours. I was surprised at how well his laid back persona and stage presence worked in a large venue. This just missed being a top ten show.
2) Lyle Lovett and his Large Band: Another show that featured a huge thunderstorm beforehand (I don’t have much luck with outdoor shows). This was a real thrill for me as I’ve missed opportunities to see Lyle in this format for a good decade now. Great sound, great style with band members appearing and disappearing at random intervals. I could have done without the ten minutes of having the crowd guess whether certain band members own a truck or not. I still don’t know what that was about. But it’s Lyle, he can do pretty much anything he wants.
Crown Center (Kansas City, MO)
1) Kansas City Irish Fest (Acts Seen: Cathie Ryan Band, Old Blind Dogs, Wolfstone): There are a lot of things I could mention about this night but I’ll keep things on the musical side of the ledger. While watching the Old Blind Dogs it occurred to me how amazing it is to see a guy play a fiddle and pull off what sounds like the most complicated piece of music imaginable and he doesn’t even look like he’s breathing hard. I know it is all muscle memory but it is just damn impressive, especially when you’ve seen more than enough guitar solos where it looks like the guitarist is in physical pain.
The Hurricane (Kansas City, MO)
1) Cracker: This was a Halloween show, which means that I a) saw the requisite woman dressed as Dorothy and b) spent the entire show standing in front of the show next to Gina, a big Cracker fan who just happened to be wearing bunny ears. That’s it, dressed perfectly normally with a pair of bunny ears. You have no idea how attractive that looks and how difficult it makes holding a conversation. This was one of those nights where I got to stand in front of the stage and watch someone that I listened to on 120 Minutes and enjoy every minute of it. And they played Camper Van Beethoven’s “Matchstick Man”, can’t beat that.
Record Bar (Kansas City, MO)
1) The Elders: Record Bar is the bar in which my beer tab is paid through my trivia winnings. I came in to this show as the second set was starting and as a general rule, don’t show up sober to the second half of a popular Irish rock band’s show. I was a good keg behind the crowd. The Elders are basically a KC version of The Frames so take that for what you will.
Knucklehead’s Saloon (Kansas City, MO)
1) The Iguanas: This is the show I was at on Thursday. To say that Knucklehead’s is in an industrial park is unfair to industrial parks. I honestly think that the train tracks run through the club itself. It would be a great roadhouse club if it was actually on a road. Anyway, The Iguanas are one of my favorite New Orleans bands and I hadn’t seen them in years. Twin saxophone assault (now with a trumpet player added in) combined with a Tex Mex flavor for a sound that you’ve probably never heard before. Lots of fun.
VooDoo Lounge At Harrah’s Casino (North Kansas City, MO)
1) Blues Traveler (Opening Act: Carbon Leaf): Note to the VooDoo Lounge: Hire some bartenders, please. If I end up having to watch Cowboy Mouth sober next month there is going to be some hell to pay. Note to Blues Traveler: A) I know it saved his life but John Popper was a lot more fun when he was fat, B) Does every song require a solo for each band member? And C) Play Run Around earlier so we can all go home. Sorry, I went to this show mainly for Carbon Leaf and forgot that Blues Traveler founded the Horde tour and is a jam band. My bad.
The Blue Note (Columbia, MO)
1) Son Volt (Opening Act: Black Diamond Heavies): This is the show where I drove two hours to see Son Volt who the next night were playing two blocks from my apartment. But it’s Son Volt, they are worth a two hour drive. While I still think that Jay Farrar is a genius I do prefer the earlier version of Son Volt. The fiddle and steel guitar is really missed in this incarnation. This show did allow me to hear Chickamauga played in concert, which was one of those “must experience in my lifetime” moments.
Fitzgerald’s (Berwyn, IL)
1) Anna Fermin’s Trigger Gospel (Opening Acts: The Habaleenas, The Yellow Hammers): Fitzgerald’s is my favorite club in the world located in my hometown of Berwyn. It is very possibly the only source of culture in that entire town. Anna Fermin sings just like Patsy Cline, which wouldn’t be that interesting except that she is Filipino and from Milwaukee. She really does make you wonder if your ears and eyes are experiencing the same moment. Lots of fun and this show gave me a chance to spend some time in one of my old haunts.
Preservation Hall (New Orleans, LA)
1) The Preservation Hall Jazz Band: Whenever you needed to have your soul saved (which in my experience was after about 48 hours in New Orleans), you always knew that you could sit on the floor of Preservation Hall and listen to the best Dixieland jazz that you ever did hear. This started off my night where I basically figured out what I was doing wrong in life. Preservation Hall did survive the flood though many of the musicians are still scattered about. I still wonder what I will now do when I need to get away from the world knowing that New Orleans just isn’t the same.
Sunday, January 01, 2006
2005 Concerts: Part One
It’s the start of the new year and as a result I get to do something that I have been looking forward to for months: my overview of every concert that I attended throughout 2005. Here is my final count: 49 different concerts featuring 91 different acts. Now, I need to do a bit of definition here. I am counting as a concert a show that I a) paid for and b) attended for a reasonable period of time. This eliminates those times when I was simply at a bar where a band was playing for free (mainly because in almost all of those situations the band is not the main reason that I went out) but retains the shows that I left early because either a) I was tired, b) the show sucked or c) I was surrounded by hippies and just couldn’t take it anymore.
Since there are a lot of shows to cover we will be splitting this into three parts. Also, shows that made my personal top 10 list for the year will be shown in bold. To start, let’s look at the shows on the Kansas side of the border.
The Granada (Lawrence, KS)
1) The Get Up Kids (Opening Acts: Veda, Murder by Death): This show was recorded for a live CD, which I now own thus making it the only CD that I am actually on. I’m going to hold off talking about The Get Up Kids for now since their farewell show that I attended was much better. Veda is probably the best local band that I’ve heard recently. Really good hooks for an indie rock band, it sounds like something out of 1994 and I mean that in the best way. Murder by Death had a girl playing an electric cello, which is all that I remember about the band. Mainly because the words cello and Murder by Death just don’t seem to go together.
2) The New Pornographers (Opening Acts: Immaculate Machine, Destroyer): I left this show with such a huge crush on the Immaculate Machine’s Kathryn Calder that it scares even me. But a keyboard playing, backup singing, art student from Canada is pretty much irresistible to me. Their music was pretty cool as well, especially for an opening act. Destroyer had the enigmatic and potentially drunk Dan Bejar leading it, often with a bottle of Heineken in one hand and the microphone in the other with one never knowing which will be going to his mouth at any time. The New Pornographers are one of the best bands out there, just great songs (that can almost be called pop at times) in an alternative package. The fact that Neko Case sings on most of the songs just makes things better.
3) The Frames (Opening Act: Josh Ritter): This show tied for my “Best of the Year” award. I’ll explain the tie on Tuesday when I talk about the other show. Josh Ritter had more fun onstage than anyone I saw this year. You couldn’t get the smile off of his face with a jackhammer, which was amazing given that he was the opening act on a Saturday night somewhere in the middle of Kansas. But it probably had to do with the fact that he got to sing his song “Lawrence, KS” in Lawrence, KS. Pick up his stuff, you won’t be disappointed. The Frames (who opened for my concert of the year last year) continue to show that they are the best live band out there today. These are songs that just dig into your soul; you can’t stand in front of the stage and just be. You have to start bouncing around and screaming along with every chorus. See these guys live and when you leave you want to just go out and climb the nearest mountain. Which is a serious problem when you live in Kansas.
Liberty Hall (Lawrence, KS)
1) The Finn Brothers: For those of you without a great recall of the 80’s pop scene, Neil and Tim Finn were members of bands like Crowded House and Split Enz. No one remembers these bands except for aging hipsters, which accounts for the entire makeup of the crowd. It wasn’t set up as a pure nostalgia show as both these guys still have their chops but there was a definite audience in mind. I was surprised by how much of a good time I had at this show.
2) Ani DiFranco (Opening Act: Andrew Bird): Wow, I am once again admitting that I go to Ani shows. I still don’t think that anyone believes me. Andrew Bird is a talented, if somewhat demented, musician out of Chicago. Anyone who plays violin, xylophone, and whistles in a way that makes you think that he has swallowed a bird makes for an interesting opener. And Ani is Ani, a fun show in which I represent the enemy to a good 80 percent of the audience.
3) Keller Williams: Hippies. Hippies everywhere. They were coming out of the walls man, they were coming out of the friggin walls. It was like game over man, game over. Sorry, just a little bit of a flashback there. Keller is a one man band in which he will loop a dozen of instruments to create his own band in a really cool effect… for the first hour or so. After which everything starts to sound the same and you realize that the guy next to you is wearing a shirt that reads “Jim Morrison: An American Poet” and you realize that your IQ is falling just by standing there.
4) Steve Earle (Opening Act: Allison Moorer): I so wanted to have this be on my top 10 list and it would have been if Steve hadn’t decided that “The Revolution Starts Now” (a song that when I heard him play it made me feel like I could go out and change our government) would be really good for a Chevy commercial. So I’m dinging the show for that. Allison was good and stylish and has since married Steve Earle. One more reason for me to learn how to play guitar.
5) The Shins (Opening Act: The Brunettes): I think the average age of this crowd was 16, which just shows what an appearance on The O.C. can do for your career. The Brunettes were a band out of New Zealand who were just out of this world. Between coming out on stage acting as if they had never seen their instruments before to an impromptu brass section to playing an entire song wearing Olsen Twin masks, they set the standard for enjoyable opening acts. The Shins put on a great set, playing every song that you wanted to hear and having a great time in the process. I’m really looking forward to their next album.
6) Robert Earl Keen (Opening Act: Split Lip Rayfield): For those who don’t know, Split Lip features a guy playing an upright bass made out of a gas tank from a Ford truck. Just thought that people should know that fact. Robert Earl Keen is one of those deans of Texas singer-songwriters. You can always count on hearing something interesting from one of his sets.
The Bottleneck (Lawrence, KS)
1) Crooked Fingers (Opening Acts: OK Jones, Devotchka): Devotchka always seemed to border on venturing into performance art. I mean, they had someone playing a sousaphone decorated with Christmas lights, it was that type of band. Crooked Fingers features the former leader of Archers of Loaf and is an underrated band in the alt-country universe. They are one of those bands you should keep an eye out for, it’s a good show that will come and go without any fanfare.
2) Richard Buckner (Opening Acts: Julia Stephenson, Anders Parker): Ah, my good friend Richard. Who I will always say is one of the nicest people that I’ve ever met off stage. On stage, he is in his own little world. This was the most inventive show that I saw all year. Richard took the stage with two acoustic guitars and from the moment he took the stage to when he completed the encore there was continually music. No breaks between songs, each song was linked or looped into the next as he would switch guitars or take a drink while a loop was running in the background. No stage banter, no song introductions, just music (even when he left the stage before the encore). I’ve never seen anything like it.
3) Old Crow Medicine Show: This is one of my absolute favorite bands right now. They are a bluegrass band crossed with a carnival sideshow and mixed with a punk rock band. Some excellent musicianship tied with really high energy songs and it just works. This is the type of band that five years ago I would never have expected to listen to but I’m glad that my tastes in music have changed over time.
4) Sleater-Kinney (Opening Act: The Gossip): The Gossip, yeah, they were pretty bad. One of those sets that should have a fast forward button attached to it. Sleater-Kinney is one of those critical darling bands that people point to as great underground music. It was an ok set but I just could never get into it. Maybe I’m just too old now, can’t really be a rebellious college kid when you are dealing with lower back pain.
Wakarusa Music Festival (Lawrence, KS)
1) Day One (Acts Seen: The Gourds, Son Volt, Martin Sexton, Calexico, Carbon Leaf): Also known as “The day when EC was too dumb to bring sunscreen to an outdoor festival when there wasn’t a cloud in the sky.” The Gourds were a great opener and did play their cover of Gin and Juice complete with mandolin solo. (I swear that happened, it was the first set so I couldn’t have been drunk that quickly). Son Volt was cool, Martin Sexton was jammy in an annoying sort of way and I only caught a portion of Calexico’s set. That leaves Carbon Leaf who played Uncle Tupelo covers and just had a great time. They play tuneful quality pop music, look like cool college kids and have real talent. All that and I still can’t say if I like them or not.
2) Day Two (Acts Seen: John Butler Trio, Split Lip Rayfield, Neko Case, Wilco): Where my sunburned self suffered through a day of really good music. As much as I love Neko, her set just didn’t work in this environment. She is best in a darkened bar and an afternoon set where her fans were fifty feet away behind a security fence just wasn’t working. She knew it, we knew it, and it made for an awkward time. Wilco was really on, playing a good mix of their newer material along with some of their Guthrie covers and songs from Being There. What can I say, in two days I got to see the heart and soul of Uncle Tupelo on the same stage. Thirty hours apart but it was the same stage.
That’s part one. I’ll try to be a little less wordy on the next one.
The five random CDs for the week:
1) Bruce Robison “Country Sunshine”
2) Alejandro Escovedo “A Man Under the Influence”
3) Kathleen Edwards “Back to Me”
4) Old Crow Medicine Show “O.C.M.S.”
5) U2 “Under a Blood Red Sky”
Since there are a lot of shows to cover we will be splitting this into three parts. Also, shows that made my personal top 10 list for the year will be shown in bold. To start, let’s look at the shows on the Kansas side of the border.
The Granada (Lawrence, KS)
1) The Get Up Kids (Opening Acts: Veda, Murder by Death): This show was recorded for a live CD, which I now own thus making it the only CD that I am actually on. I’m going to hold off talking about The Get Up Kids for now since their farewell show that I attended was much better. Veda is probably the best local band that I’ve heard recently. Really good hooks for an indie rock band, it sounds like something out of 1994 and I mean that in the best way. Murder by Death had a girl playing an electric cello, which is all that I remember about the band. Mainly because the words cello and Murder by Death just don’t seem to go together.
2) The New Pornographers (Opening Acts: Immaculate Machine, Destroyer): I left this show with such a huge crush on the Immaculate Machine’s Kathryn Calder that it scares even me. But a keyboard playing, backup singing, art student from Canada is pretty much irresistible to me. Their music was pretty cool as well, especially for an opening act. Destroyer had the enigmatic and potentially drunk Dan Bejar leading it, often with a bottle of Heineken in one hand and the microphone in the other with one never knowing which will be going to his mouth at any time. The New Pornographers are one of the best bands out there, just great songs (that can almost be called pop at times) in an alternative package. The fact that Neko Case sings on most of the songs just makes things better.
3) The Frames (Opening Act: Josh Ritter): This show tied for my “Best of the Year” award. I’ll explain the tie on Tuesday when I talk about the other show. Josh Ritter had more fun onstage than anyone I saw this year. You couldn’t get the smile off of his face with a jackhammer, which was amazing given that he was the opening act on a Saturday night somewhere in the middle of Kansas. But it probably had to do with the fact that he got to sing his song “Lawrence, KS” in Lawrence, KS. Pick up his stuff, you won’t be disappointed. The Frames (who opened for my concert of the year last year) continue to show that they are the best live band out there today. These are songs that just dig into your soul; you can’t stand in front of the stage and just be. You have to start bouncing around and screaming along with every chorus. See these guys live and when you leave you want to just go out and climb the nearest mountain. Which is a serious problem when you live in Kansas.
Liberty Hall (Lawrence, KS)
1) The Finn Brothers: For those of you without a great recall of the 80’s pop scene, Neil and Tim Finn were members of bands like Crowded House and Split Enz. No one remembers these bands except for aging hipsters, which accounts for the entire makeup of the crowd. It wasn’t set up as a pure nostalgia show as both these guys still have their chops but there was a definite audience in mind. I was surprised by how much of a good time I had at this show.
2) Ani DiFranco (Opening Act: Andrew Bird): Wow, I am once again admitting that I go to Ani shows. I still don’t think that anyone believes me. Andrew Bird is a talented, if somewhat demented, musician out of Chicago. Anyone who plays violin, xylophone, and whistles in a way that makes you think that he has swallowed a bird makes for an interesting opener. And Ani is Ani, a fun show in which I represent the enemy to a good 80 percent of the audience.
3) Keller Williams: Hippies. Hippies everywhere. They were coming out of the walls man, they were coming out of the friggin walls. It was like game over man, game over. Sorry, just a little bit of a flashback there. Keller is a one man band in which he will loop a dozen of instruments to create his own band in a really cool effect… for the first hour or so. After which everything starts to sound the same and you realize that the guy next to you is wearing a shirt that reads “Jim Morrison: An American Poet” and you realize that your IQ is falling just by standing there.
4) Steve Earle (Opening Act: Allison Moorer): I so wanted to have this be on my top 10 list and it would have been if Steve hadn’t decided that “The Revolution Starts Now” (a song that when I heard him play it made me feel like I could go out and change our government) would be really good for a Chevy commercial. So I’m dinging the show for that. Allison was good and stylish and has since married Steve Earle. One more reason for me to learn how to play guitar.
5) The Shins (Opening Act: The Brunettes): I think the average age of this crowd was 16, which just shows what an appearance on The O.C. can do for your career. The Brunettes were a band out of New Zealand who were just out of this world. Between coming out on stage acting as if they had never seen their instruments before to an impromptu brass section to playing an entire song wearing Olsen Twin masks, they set the standard for enjoyable opening acts. The Shins put on a great set, playing every song that you wanted to hear and having a great time in the process. I’m really looking forward to their next album.
6) Robert Earl Keen (Opening Act: Split Lip Rayfield): For those who don’t know, Split Lip features a guy playing an upright bass made out of a gas tank from a Ford truck. Just thought that people should know that fact. Robert Earl Keen is one of those deans of Texas singer-songwriters. You can always count on hearing something interesting from one of his sets.
The Bottleneck (Lawrence, KS)
1) Crooked Fingers (Opening Acts: OK Jones, Devotchka): Devotchka always seemed to border on venturing into performance art. I mean, they had someone playing a sousaphone decorated with Christmas lights, it was that type of band. Crooked Fingers features the former leader of Archers of Loaf and is an underrated band in the alt-country universe. They are one of those bands you should keep an eye out for, it’s a good show that will come and go without any fanfare.
2) Richard Buckner (Opening Acts: Julia Stephenson, Anders Parker): Ah, my good friend Richard. Who I will always say is one of the nicest people that I’ve ever met off stage. On stage, he is in his own little world. This was the most inventive show that I saw all year. Richard took the stage with two acoustic guitars and from the moment he took the stage to when he completed the encore there was continually music. No breaks between songs, each song was linked or looped into the next as he would switch guitars or take a drink while a loop was running in the background. No stage banter, no song introductions, just music (even when he left the stage before the encore). I’ve never seen anything like it.
3) Old Crow Medicine Show: This is one of my absolute favorite bands right now. They are a bluegrass band crossed with a carnival sideshow and mixed with a punk rock band. Some excellent musicianship tied with really high energy songs and it just works. This is the type of band that five years ago I would never have expected to listen to but I’m glad that my tastes in music have changed over time.
4) Sleater-Kinney (Opening Act: The Gossip): The Gossip, yeah, they were pretty bad. One of those sets that should have a fast forward button attached to it. Sleater-Kinney is one of those critical darling bands that people point to as great underground music. It was an ok set but I just could never get into it. Maybe I’m just too old now, can’t really be a rebellious college kid when you are dealing with lower back pain.
Wakarusa Music Festival (Lawrence, KS)
1) Day One (Acts Seen: The Gourds, Son Volt, Martin Sexton, Calexico, Carbon Leaf): Also known as “The day when EC was too dumb to bring sunscreen to an outdoor festival when there wasn’t a cloud in the sky.” The Gourds were a great opener and did play their cover of Gin and Juice complete with mandolin solo. (I swear that happened, it was the first set so I couldn’t have been drunk that quickly). Son Volt was cool, Martin Sexton was jammy in an annoying sort of way and I only caught a portion of Calexico’s set. That leaves Carbon Leaf who played Uncle Tupelo covers and just had a great time. They play tuneful quality pop music, look like cool college kids and have real talent. All that and I still can’t say if I like them or not.
2) Day Two (Acts Seen: John Butler Trio, Split Lip Rayfield, Neko Case, Wilco): Where my sunburned self suffered through a day of really good music. As much as I love Neko, her set just didn’t work in this environment. She is best in a darkened bar and an afternoon set where her fans were fifty feet away behind a security fence just wasn’t working. She knew it, we knew it, and it made for an awkward time. Wilco was really on, playing a good mix of their newer material along with some of their Guthrie covers and songs from Being There. What can I say, in two days I got to see the heart and soul of Uncle Tupelo on the same stage. Thirty hours apart but it was the same stage.
That’s part one. I’ll try to be a little less wordy on the next one.
The five random CDs for the week:
1) Bruce Robison “Country Sunshine”
2) Alejandro Escovedo “A Man Under the Influence”
3) Kathleen Edwards “Back to Me”
4) Old Crow Medicine Show “O.C.M.S.”
5) U2 “Under a Blood Red Sky”
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