Cooking tips

(Cheating tonight due to a lack of creativity. Courtesy of The Onion (please don't sue me))

• To ensure that you always use the freshest ingredients, keep a live pig on hand.
• There is an elusive yet distinctive quality that separates the great cooks from the merely average ones. That quality is "Wessonality"
• Do not thaw frozen fish in milk or do anything else the Julia Child says. She high.
• If you are a man, you deserved to be gushed over just for reading these cooking tips. That's so great!
• Cooking can be very dangerous, due to the use of fire, knives and electrical appliances. Only cook under the careful supervision of your Living Skills coach
• Remember this oft-overlooked cooking secret: The toaster lever can be pushed down again if your bread is not sufficiently brown.
• McDonald's is the world's most popular restaurant chain, so it's food must be the best. Study McDonald's food as a template for your own.
• Remember: With passion and the right attitude, anyone can cook. Wait, that's "play punk rock". Never mind.

Have a good weekend everybody.