Pick a topic, any topic

I have to start off with a sentence I never imagined typing: “Bret Michaels nearly decapitated onstage at the Tony Awards.” Personally, I feel that this should become an added feature of every awards show. One aging hair band front man is invited to perform with a measurable, though unlikely, chance that his head will end up in the fourth row. I can guarantee you that this will turn into a major ratings success.

And while I did not watch the Tony Awards (even Doogie Howser as the host wasn’t enough for me) it is interesting to see that Billy Elliot came away with all of the awards. A musical about the dancing son of a British coal miner doesn’t seem to be quite the typical Broadway hit but it appears to work. Maybe it was the Elton John score. Though if that is the case then the Spider Man musical with a score by U2 might be a favorite next year. I’m not making that up. It is the most ludicrous thing I have read in a year and I spend much of my free time reading pro wrestling websites.

Another topic that I must discuss is that while there are numerous ways to die in this world David Carradine’s method is last on my list of how I want to be found. Even if the rumor is true and ninjas were involved it still would be the most embarrassing way to go. I mean, can anyone ever listen to an INXS song the same way after Michael Hutchenhence died? It was worse when the story was breaking and CNN had the headline “David Carradine dead, hanging in closet”, which seemed to imply that the morgue in Thailand operates a little differently than the one I see on CSI. It just shows the importance of verb tense.

I’ll end with one last piece of Kansas City news because, honestly, Delaware actually is more boring than Kansas City. It appears that over the weekend the performance by DJ Jazzy Jeff was ended early at the Power and Light District due to either a) he was playing the music too loud and damaging the sound system or b) he was playing music that was, ahem, not in keeping with the community standards. To which my responses are, a) who designs a soundsystem to be used by major acts as long as they are quiet and b) I know that KC is conservative but come on it’s DJ Jazzy Jeff. His biggest hit is “Parents just don’t understand.” It’s stuff like this that explains why I never went to the Power and Light District when I lived there.