I am going to take a break from the whole Michael Jackson saga tonight. Though I could write a page on the rumor that his kids are not actually his kids (and that he didn’t legally adopt them, which is required if the mom is a surrogate) or how the family really should ask for their money back on that whole “sleeping in a hyperbaric chamber will allow me to live to 150” thing I have another topic on my mind at the moment that I would like to share.
Moving from Kansas to Delaware has resulted in my leaving the Bible Belt. As a result I do not see nearly as many interesting bumper stickers on cars as I drive to and from the office and in a way I kind of miss them. They made the drive interesting just in the myriad ways that they could infuriate me. Tonight I want to examine the one that drove me the most batty: “In case of rapture this car will be unoccupied.”
Now for those of you less inclined to these sorts of topics the rapture is what will happen sometime around Armageddon (whether it is before, during or after is actually a subject of debate but most people bet on before because well, otherwise what is the point.) The idea is that right before the world goes to hell and the End Times arise all of the faithful will be whisked up to heaven so that they can avoid the pain and torment. Consider it getting early admission to college from a more theological standpoint. Most discussions of the rapture tend to focus on things like “Will peoples’ clothes be taken with them or will all of their belongings be lying in piles on the ground” and “How many planes will crash due to the pilots vanishing?” The people who are left behind are always assumed to be stunned and confused by the events as though none of them had ever read up on the subject beforehand.
On the surface most people wouldn’t find such a bumper sticker to be reprehensible. Yes, summarizing your faith on a bumper sticker is tacky but I wouldn’t consider that to be inherently bad. I just have a huge problem though with what this statement means and what it implies. While it may be applied as a statement of faith in my eyes it does not come across that way at all. Instead of saying “I believe” it says “I am guaranteed to go to heaven and you are not.”
First off, most people would say that this statement does contain the sin of pride. One can profess one’s faith but boasting of it is another story. But what really bothers me is something that is more theological in nature. When I read those bumper stickers it makes me think that this person believes that they know the will of God so well that they are certain that they are one of the chosen because wouldn’t it be awkward if the rapture happened and they were still behind the wheel? In my view (and again, take this for what it is worth) God’s will is by nature unknowable and while you can hope you are on the right track you can never be certain. There is always doubt. I try to live a life where I help others and try to make sure that I leave this world in better shape than when I found it. I hope that when my time comes that I can look back at pride with what I have done and hope that wherever I go next that I will be on the right path. But I expect no guarantees and would hate to live a life where I ever felt like I had a free pass to paradise.
So if you feel the need to express yourself via a bumper sticker please choose wisely. You can even discuss your faith if you want, just be certain that what you are saying matches what you truly believe. And try not to set me up for easy jokes like my bumper sticker of “In case of rapture I will be breaking into your house.”
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