What does it mean that all I can ever think about when I watch the news coverage of Iran is that what I most want to hear at this moment is the cogent insights of The Iron Sheik? I really need to know what the master of the Camel Clutch and the possessor of not one but two loaded boots has to say on the possible onslaught of democracy in his homeland. Someone get a microphone in front of him, stat.
On a related note, I just found another reason to enjoy living in Delaware. I live about fifteen minutes away from the minor league ballpark here and in August they are going to have G. I. Joe night. Now that alone is reason enough to get me to go to the ballpark, possibly in a Destro costume. (Destro: teaching children that arms dealing is a noble profession since 1983.) But on top of that there will also be an appearance by Sergeant Slaughter. I might as well start camping out in front of the stadium now. I mean he is both a former WWF champion and the living incarnation of a cartoon character. Those are pretty much my only two goals in life.
I have heard however that the G.I. Joe movie is going to suck big time. On the lines of “worst screening scores in the history of the movie studio.” I’m still not sure how one can screw up writing a G. I. Joe movie but they apparently have done it. I could write the movie to be either a thriller, action, espionage or satire in an evening given enough junk food and the ability to allow Dr. Mindbender to be in at least two scenes. Heck, I could spend twenty minutes discussing Cobra’s training methods, which mainly consist of instructing new recruits on how to properly yell “Cobra” and how to stand perfectly exposed on poorly designed military vehicles.
In a way I wish that they would stop pimping out all of my childhood memories for what often turns into a sub-par Will Ferrell vehicle (did he really need to destroy Bewitched and Land of the Lost for me?) I know that the idea is that the movies have a built in audience so they don’t have to spend as much time working on things like plot and characterization but I think they really miss the point. I have no desire to see a Transformers movie because I prefer my memories of the cartoon. Nostalgia works because we don’t have to take the time to realize just how threadbare the storylines were. Sometimes memories should just remain as memories.
Wednesday Night Music Club: I listened to this Richard Thompson song today and felt compelled to share it. Still the best cover song I have ever heard.
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