Gonk: One of my favorite characters from the original trilogy. Essentially just a walking power generator (because if I have learned anything through my study of electrical engineering it is that batteries would be much more efficient if they had legs and a moderate level of artificial intelligence) that has become a bit of a cult hero in the online world as there are a group of people, myself included, who are convinced that Gonk represents God in the original trilogy. He is everprescent yet never takes center stage. I’m certain that he is the one behind every major event in the entire series.
Wedge Antilles: My all time favorite character. Not even Boba Fett can match the level of awesome that is Wedge. Wedge is famous for being the only pilot to survive the assaults on both Death Stars and he is really the one responsible for the destruction of the second Death Star (Lando mainly provided cover in the Falcon). This is made even more amazing by the fact that he is not a central character to the story and is therefore not protected by the character shield that seems to cause every laser blast to curve around Han Solo as oppose to hit him. For crying out loud, he thinks a vest is adequate protection! How can he not be shot within five seconds? Why be Luke with all the force baggage. Be Wedge, the best damn pilot in the galaxy.
The Mouse Bots: Technically the MSE-6 series repair droids (thanks to my good friends at Wookiepedia for all of the info for this post) who are best known for…ok, they are known for nothing at all. In fact, there appearance is never explained in the least as to why in this giant space station there are these small, shoeshine boxes with wheels that happen to scurry around underfoot most likely causing numerous accidents as squads of stormtroopers trip over them. For something that was onscreen for probably a grand total of fifteen seconds I can bet that every single person on the planet knows what they are.
Ponda Baba: Yes, he has a name that isn’t Walrus Man. That is one of the amazing things about what has happened with Star Wars. In the movie and the subsequent action figures this character was only known as Walrus Man or possibly lefty after Obi-Wan’s rather unnecessary attack on him. He could have just force pushed the blaster out of his hand but no, he had to cut his freaking arm off. Anyway, now instead of just being known as the walrus guy who is now short an arm he now has a name and a full back story. There is no need for a back story or a name. As a huge fan of the films I never once wondered about the working relationship between Walrus Man and Pig Nose. However, it helps me to sleep better at night to know that if I ever need to know such information it is readily available.
Salacious Crumb: This is the answer to my favorite Star Wars trivia question. Name Jabba the Hutt’s court jester monkey-lizard thing. A great character for a number of reasons. He provided much needed comic relief and was much better at entertainment than Jabba’s band (you’d think he could hire a better group). He also had the absolute best view of Princess Leia in her metal bikini and you cannot question how important that is. Finally, he got to at least momentarily attack C-3PO and gouge out one of his eyes, which was something that many of us always wanted to do to stop his whining.
Best of 120 Minutes: Ok, this has nothing to do with 120 Minutes but it is the only video that is fitting for Star Wars day.
The five random CDs for the week:
1) Keb’ Mo’ “Slow Down”
2) Old Crow Medicine Show “O.C.M.S.”
3) David Ford “I Sincerely Apologize for All of the Trouble I’ve Caused”
4) Michael McDermott “Bourbon Blue”
5) Anders Parker “Tell it to the Dust”
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