Yep, I've gotten old

I have realized that now that I have reached a certain age (specifically somewhere in my mid-thirties) a number of activities that I had enjoyed for the majority of my life are no longer available to me. Not in the sense that it is physically impossible for me to perform them. More along the lines that it is not befitting a person of my stature in society to be seen in any of the following situations that I will conveniently list in bullet point form.

· Bring a baseball mitt to a pro game as well as dressing in full replica uniform on the off chance that the team will need a pinch runner and choose the drunk guy in the right field bleachers.
· Similarly, I am no longer allowed to keep score at a baseball game. Mainly because I have to explain why I am doing it when there is a scoreboard right in front of me.
· Wear a t-shirt that announces my occupation as a Female Body Inspector or employs a clever pun using the name Johnson.
· Showing up to a movie wearing any type of costume (can’t believe I was thrown out of the premiere of Hitchhiker’s Guide for wearing a bathrobe).
· Order a drink solely because I think its name sounds funny. Exceptions granted for Red Headed Sluts and Harvey Wallbangers.
· Sit in the front row of a WWE event with a sign that reads “We want the Macho Man!”
· Use the words “romantic dinner date” and “Outback Steakhouse” in the same sentence.
· Participate in a mosh pit and / or crowd surf.
· Shout “woo hoo” at any moment in time.
· Spend three hours arguing the logic behind the time travel paradoxes in Quantum Leap, Star Trek or the entire Terminator franchise (which breaks more laws of temporal space than actually exist.)
· Dye my hair any color that does not naturally occur in nature.
· Go “I could totally jump that”

I know that I am missing a lot. What else do you think I am no longer allowed to do as a result of age?