How I Met...oh, not her again

I don’t quite understand why people celebrate Cinqo de Mayo. It is a completely made up holiday. Everyone knows that in the Jedi faith that yesterday marks the true holy day. Only Life Day holds nearly as much significance. People can be very strange.

One of the interesting things about my commute home is that I get to drive past churches with rather thought provoking signs. Today’s question was “If Jesus was coming tomorrow what would you do today?” To which my immediate response was “I don’t know, hide the porn?” Actually, if I ever become one of those guys wearing a sandwich board and maniacally ringing a bell I swear that my sign will read “Jesus is coming! Quick, everyone hide the porn!”

Yeah, I’m probably going to hell for that one.

The most important news to talk about is what we learned last night on How I Met Your Mother. I’ve been a little lax in my HIMYM updates this year as thanks to DVRs I always feel like I need to put spoiler alerts on everything. Plus, with both Lily and Robin pregnant in real life it has meant that this season has become a case of “let’s see what large objects we can place Lily and Robin behind this time.” At least they have had fun with it with Lily showing off her belly as part of a competitive eating montage and Robin last night having jokes involving pregnancy and giant purses.

But enough on that, let’s go through what each of the male characters encountered.

Marshall had the most enjoyable moments of the episode with his love of charts. Personally I will always enjoy anyone who makes a pie chart of his favorite bars and a bar chart of his favorite pies. And when knowing that people will complain of his never ending use of charts he goes ahead and creates a chart to track their discomfort. As someone who believes that every moment and event in life should be chronicled, quantified and graphed this just furthers my belief that Marshall is the coolest guy ever.

We learned much more about Barney this episode than most people would originally think. While it was always known that he took everything he heard as a kid literally (hence the Bob Barker is his dad story) it never quite factored in to how he became who he is today. In fact, it was never clear as to what set him on the path to being, well, a better dressed version of Mystery. Now we know it was to show up a bragging sixth grader who was lucky enough to have a pet Ewok (lucky bastard). That led him to his two hundred conquests, which is an awful lot when you consider the math and the fact that he always seems to be hanging out in the same bar night after night, and a sense of wondering what is next. Obviously that next step is Robin. The interesting question there is could anyone be in a serious relationship with Barney knowing that he is, you know, Barney. That would make for one hell of a plot point next year.

Finally, in the moments that had me going “Oh my God, oh my God” like I was a twelve year old girl we came all that much closer to finding out who the mother is. After four years we finally see Ted pick up the yellow umbrella, we hear that it is only through random events that he met his true love, we see Ted hug random strangers (including a psychotic looking weather clown who I believe gave a forecast of “there is a forty percent chance of rain today with an eighty percent chance that I will devour your soul”) and we find out that the woman who taps Ted on the shoulder is…

Becky from Roseanne.

Son of a…

See, we know that she can’t be the mom because we have already met her. And in the wedding episode Ted detailed what life would have been liked if they had gotten married and that included two blonde haired kids. Also, there is the side fact that Becky dumped Ted at the altar and I don’t know about you but that would probably be a strike on the whole restarting the relationship thing. So we have two more episodes this year before we find out who the mother is. Unless they decide to wait until next season at which point I will just be heard cursing the television set for a good hour.

Tomorrow I’ll discuss why I tend to find Penny in The Big Bang Theory more attractive when she wears her Cheesecake Factory waitress uniform. Or at least I would like to think there is a reason. It’s either that or discuss the parallels between myself and Sheldon and I would rather not go there.