Tuesday, September 02, 2008

Stress levels declining

This will most likely be a quick post tonight but it just seems kind of fitting.

I think most people understand that I have been incredibly stressed recently. From finding a new job to moving to just facing the fact that I turn 35 on Thursday it seems that I am hitting all of those highly stressful moments in one's life all at the same time. It has been one hell of a challenge just to keep myself moving at all, much less in the direction I need to go. As a result, sometimes the version of myself that I have presented these past few weeks hasn't been the one I like and I only hope that people realize why that is the case.

What is interesting is that yesterday I had a few hours of downtime and just sat down and listened to my MP3 player on shuffle. No real focus on what I was supposed to be doing. I just sat down, read and listened to whatever music popped up. An hour into it I found myself smiling and laughing and singing along with the music, something that I have not done since this whole mess of anxieties rose up.

I really think it was the music that helped me. My MP3 player has all of my favorite tunes on it and just having random songs appear made my day. As if they were chosen for exactly this moment in my life. A Gomez song here, a Jay Farrar song there, all of them seemed to lighten my mood and get me back on track. It was a rather amazing sight. When I finally got up I felt like a completely different person than I did when I sat down.

Everytime I talk about my stress with someone I always say that everything is going to be fine and that I will make it through it. I truly believe that mainly because I have made it through tough times before and this is nothing compared to some of the stuff I had to work through before. But it takes me a while to go from saying that to really understanding and beleiving it. I think it finally hit me yesterday that everything is going to be fine. As long as I stay true to myself and understand what I am capable of there is no challenge that is too daunting for me. Sometimes it takes stepping back and listening to a few songs to prove that point to me.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

I'm glad. LB