It’s always great when someone provides a topic for me. So, what would be the five songs that I would put on a mix tape? First, let’s define what the mix tape is for. I’ll go with the classic “trying to impress a girl I barely know but would like to know much better” format. You know, the “you went out once or twice and have talked but have not yet become an official item” point where you feel that this tape will put you over the top and win her heart.
I’ll also go on the assumption that my packaging for this mix tape (actually CD) will simply be a CD case with the track listing (featuring artist, song title and original disc) nicely formatted as a cover page with a clever title to the entire package. On the advice of my good friend Renee I will not be including eight pages of liner notes as apparently that is just on this side of not paying for dinner on my list of bad ideas. Doing so has now been referred to as the mix tape equivalent of going to the girl’s house and holding a boom box over your head. And as opposed to the Battling the Current discs I will not be including a picture of Snoopy as I’ll leave that discussion to when the other party sees the fine art print that hangs in my apartment.
There are certain criteria for the songs that will be included. I will follow the advice of Henry Rollins that states that upon first meeting a woman every guy tries to immediately prove that he is straight, disease free and not a serial killer. That will rule out any Indigo Girls, Jane’s Addiction or Cannibal Corpse tracks. I also will avoid any song that is so popular that she should already own it. You are not allowed to include U2’s “With or Without You” from The Joshua Tree. If you have an incredibly rare live version of the song you might be able to get away with it. Finally, my main goal beyond using these songs to prove to her that I am in fact her soul mate is to show my superior taste in music. This should mean that I include obscure songs from well known artists and amazing songs from obscure artists. However, they should be accessible artists so I have to avoid the discs where I am one of ten people who own it.
Anyway, here are the five that I would choose with YouTube clips where I can find them. This isn’t a precise order but I’d be confident these would all make the cut.
Beth Orton “Conceived”: Let’s start with a pretty obvious one. When the first date conversation turns to music Beth is one of the first names that I mention, which might be one of my problems. She’s known but not that well known. I love her music and this will quickly show that I am a sensitive type. Also, it is a rare upbeat song from her catalog as “She Cries Your Name” probably wouldn’t fit here. Random Note 1: You could also use a rare track titled “The Next Day” here, which has the brilliant line “They got married and divorced on the same day” in it. Random Note 2: I have no idea why this video features puppets.
Josh Ritter “Lawrence, KS”: I’m not sure if I only have two months of using this song or if it will become better after I leave town. It has one of my absolute favorite lines of all time “I’ve been from here to Lawrence, Kansas trying to leave my state of mind.” First off, this would showcase my knowledge of an up and coming artist who is being compared to Dylan and Springsteen and I can talk about meeting him a few years back. Second, I can use this to explain away my time in Kansas. Great choice either way (and this was on Battling the Current Volume 1)
The Frames “Fitzcarraldo”: Specifically, I am including the ten minute live version from The Roads Outgrown. Now that might be too long of a track for a mix tape but it is a) just utter brilliance and b) ends with Glen Hansard saying “this is the best life a man could ever want.” There is a great plan to including this song. I get to mention that the lead singer is the guy from the movie Once and has been Oscar nominated for the music. If she has seen the film then we have an obvious point in common and she realizes my artistic, romantic side. If not, I recommend that we watch the movie and the two of us watch a romantic movie together. Win/win proposition. Random Note 3: This video is insanely old but it’s the only one that I can find.
The Postal Service “Such Great Heights”: Ok, grant me one cliché on the list. Maybe she’ll think that this is her chance to relive Garden State. If I intentionally dishevel my hair I look vaguely like Zach Braff. Plus, I doubt anyone would complain about acting as Natalie Portman. Plus, it’s a known song from commercials and you really do need to include one song that the other person already knows.
Ryan Adams “Monday Night”: This is it. This is my make or break song. I’ll either win her heart with this one or never talk to her again. It’s from an artist she at least should have heard of (if she hasn’t that is a major strike against her) but she will not have heard this song before. There is no video of it and I have only seen it on an old Bloodshot Records compilation disc but it is the best description of myself and what I am looking for in music form. Here is the chorus.
“All I want is to roll through your fingers baby. All I want is to make it alright. All I want is to be your connection, win your affection, be your reflection on a Monday night.”
Trusting my romantic life to Ryan Adams is probably not the wisest thing in the world. But I haven’t found anything that beats this song. That’s what I’m looking for, someone who will be my reflection on a Monday night. Can’t put it any simpler than that.
Super Blog IV on Sunday! I’m preparing my Tom Petty jokes as we speak.
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