Just a matter of time...

Back to more trivial matters…

1) I am very upset by the media coverage of my beloved Lindsay’s latest Blackberry missive in which she, well, discusses the bruises she received while practicing pole dancing. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again, what happens between Lindsay and me in a seedy motel room off of the interstate is a personal matter and does not need to be discussed in the gossip pages. Sigh. Incredibly, I did not make up this story at all (well, besides the whole motel room bit). She really does write about her upper and lower thigh bruises. I’m hoping that this is due to her method acting technique for an upcoming role as opposed to job training.

Another Lindsay story

2) I know that most people think that I’ve beaten this Lindsay Lohan joke into the ground but I see a great deal of potential here. Three years ago I was probably the last guy on earth that Lindsay would have gone out with. Now after all of these stories I’m probably one of two dozen guys who would be willing to date her and I like those odds. Hell, I’m probably the front runner. One more lead story on Entertainment Tonight and I’ll be dating her by default.

3) I would like to congratulate myself for winning Time’s Man of the Year. It’s been a life long dream of mine to follow in the footsteps of the computer and planet earth as a marketing ploy disguised as a year end award. For those who haven’t checked out a newsstand “You” has won Time’s Man/Woman/Thing of the Year. The idea behind it is that bloggers and YouTube are changing the way that media operates. Now, while some blogs do have an impact I have a hard time believing that I’ve changed the world just yet here. And while YouTube has greatly contributed to my ability to spend time at work searching for old Asia videos I can’t say it has done much to society other than turning copyright into a joke. It just seems that in a year where we’re still at war, gas prices are going mad, and both houses of congress switched hands that the person of the year could have gone to, you know, a person. Or at least Barbaro.

4) The Chia advertising empire continues to astound me. I understand the Chia pet and the Chia Garfield and even the Chia Scooby Doo. It’s the Chia Tree that bothers me. So, buy a pot in the shape of a tree and spread some seeds on it and watch it grow. As opposed to, I don’t know, buying a plant. You end up with exactly the same thing except in the Chia universe you spend more and end up looking tacky as a result. It bothers me that right now someone is at a Walgreen’s and going, “You know what, that would make a great present.” And they’re probably sober as well.

5) I have a winner for strange lyric of the year. Courtesy of one of my favorite bands, Carbon Leaf. “Some things are best left between a girl and her horse.” There are a few ways to interpret that line and none of them are good. Hell, most of them end with a Catherine the Great reference.