Lisa was right in her comment earlier this week, my comparison between Paris Hilton and Yoda is flawed. It was an attempt at making a Star Wars reference that didn’t go over everyone’s head and therefore wasn’t the proper analogy. Here is a better one.
In the fabled Brittney paparazzi pictures you have Paris looking on with the exact same look on her face that Emperor Palpatine has when Anakin surrenders to the dark side. That makes Brittney Anakin and my beloved Lindsay a much more believable Mace Windu (who had the dark lord defeated until Anakin joined the fight). I guess that makes K-Fed equivalent to Padme, which makes sense as neither of them have a line of believable dialogue. Yoda would be Madonna, Obi-Wan would be Christina Aguilera, that Jedi with the pointy head would be Tara Reid and Jar-Jar would be Ashlee Simpson. Wow, Star Wars really does explain the world.
(Don’t know who Jessica Simpson would be, maybe Count Dooku or someone like that. I’m more confused by her complete butchering of 9 to 5 at the Kennedy Center honors for Dolly Parton. Her explanation was that she was having wardrobe issues while singing off of cue cards. I find this completely unbelievable as it implies that Jessica knows how to read.)
Oh, and if you haven’t checked out Brit’s website yet (what do you mean you don’t have it bookmarked?) she gives her Christmas greeting and explanation for the past couple of weeks. Her public thanking of Victoria’s Secret just seems to be the most oft-kilter reference to a publicity nightmare that I’ve ever seen. Parody is good but when you become a parody of yourself that means you’re in trouble. The other thing is that she explains this as being the first time in two years that she has had the opportunity to go out. She hadn’t even had a chance to celebrate her birthday. Yeah, I mean, having two kids can really put a cramp into your nightlife. As Fitzgerald said, “The rich are different than you and I”, this being a prime example of it.
(Though Lindsay would also make a fine Zelda. I’m just saying…)
This is going to be an interesting little weekend for me. No college football at all. There is Duke-George Mason in basketball but that is not a matchup that has me setting the Tivo. Bears play on Monday night so my television schedule is wide open this weekend. Which means I really won’t have an excuse to hang out in my apartment and will thus need to go out, do some Christmas shopping, and see what its like out in the real world. It’s a frightening thought now that I consider it, moving from the digital world back to the analog realm. We’ll see what stories I have to tell at the end of it…
1 comment:
Tara Reid as Ki-Adi-Mundi is a bit generous. Ki-Adi-Mundi was trained by Yoda himself, and was one of the wisest and most powerful Jedi Masters, and has proven himself time and again in battle (he even survived a fight against General Grievous).
Post a Comment