I had money on Vera Cruise...

Like everything else in life, without a list one is completely lost…

1) I’d like to give a hearty welcome to Suri Cruise. Suri Cruise? Yes, Tom Cruise was so taken by Gerry Mcnamara’s performance in the Big East tournament that he named his daughter after the Orangmen. (Syracuse, get it?) Just a couple of comments here. It says something about our society that this is a major news event, complete with promised daily updates from Access Hollywood. Second, I haven’t heard if this was officially a silent birth or not, which I want to know about just because I didn’t even know if that was possible. Finally, can a celebrity ever give a kid a fairly normal name. Just once I’d like to see a movie star name his son Steve.

2) I need to inform everyone that tomorrow is the third Thursday of April and is thus one of the three official Battling the Current Holidays: National High Five Day. I am not making this up. This is completely and totally real. Tomorrow (or today if you are reading this on Thursday) it is are solemn duty to high five as many people as possible throughout the day. I’m not talking about for someone doing a good job, I’m talking about high fiving people instead of shaking hands. I want to see everyone high fiving random people in the hallway. Why? Because is there anything that would brighten your day more than just getting a random high five? It’s like saying, “You’re doing a great job in life by just being you. Keep it up.”

3) What are the other two official Battling the Current holidays? The first was Dyngus Day this past Monday in which we celebrate the fact that now that Easter is over and done with we get to gorge ourselves on all of the stuff we gave up for Lent. It’s kind of like a reverse Mardi Gras. Or at least that is my take on it, all I know is that it is a big deal in South Bend and anything that gave us an excuse to drink on a Monday (other than things like the sun going down or the day technically ending in a Y) was good in our book. Man, I remember Dyngus Day 2003 like it was yesterday. Actually, I’m pretty sure that what I remember couldn’t possibly have happened, which is even cooler.

4) Oh, and the third day is Talk Like a Pirate Day, which is in September. It’s the day when I really wished that I lived in Arrrr-Kansas. Because pirates are way cooler than ninjas.

5) Hey, the White Sox swept the Royals. And the Royals have the worst record in baseball. Guess this means I won’t have problems getting seats this year. But don’t worry, your sales tax dollars will go to good use improving the stadium for a team you really wouldn’t want to watch. Sigh.

6) Oh, and one last comment that I meant to write about like, a week ago, but always forgot. Remember that couple from Missouri that faked having sextuplets in order to get donations from people? Now, let’s ignore the fact that at some point someone would have asked to see the children, which is something that they should have planned for. When the father (poor choice of words but stay with me) talked to the press he was wearing a Goldberg t-shirt. For those not fluent in pro wrestling, Goldberg was a very popular figure in, oh, 1998. You know, when you are trying to explain why you came up with a very dumb mail fraud scheme you probably shouldn’t be wearing a Goldberg t-shirt.