The view from seat 8B

While flying Southwest over the weekend I heard the person sitting directly behind me ask for a seatbelt extension. He was incredibly polite about it and asked the attendant well before takeoff and even though we were on a full flight no one seemed to bother. I didn’t even turn around to look at the guy, which was a little odd just because I can’t recall hearing anyone ask for an extension before.

I mention this only because later in the weekend the director Kevin Smith was taken off a Southwest flight because he was too fat for the seat and made a great deal of online outrage in the aftermath. Ignoring the more important questions of when is Kevin Smith going to start making films that are actually funny again or why in the world is a Hollywood director flying Southwest this raises the point of obesity in America, air travel and where the two intersect.

I fly a lot. By my count I have been on fourteen flights so far this year and we are only seven weeks into the year. Life and work just have me on the road all of the time. I am also, as of this evening, six foot one and 208 pounds. Officially, I am not obese though I am medically defined as “a fat slob.” I could probably stand to lose twenty pounds especially since most of my weight is fat and not muscle. I don’t need a seat belt extender but there isn’t much slack especially if I am wearing a coat. So this is a pretty significant issue to me.

Here is my first point; no one is comfortable in a plane seat. It doesn’t matter who is seated next to me or if the seat is empty; it is just impossible for someone of my size to feel at ease. The best I can do is get a window seat and use the little bit of the window to give me some space. Stretching in the aisle typically results in my getting beaned by the beverage cart. It has gotten to the point where I will regularly take the middle seat because I know I will be uncomfortable no matter where I sit so I might as well take a middle seat at the front of the plane and least get out of there a little quicker.

Still, I have sat next to some rather large people and while I suffer through it it certainly isn’t very pleasant. I’m not entirely behind the forcing them to purchase a second ticket that some airlines make them do if only because I know of no way to enforce it. Who is too fat? Where is the cutoff and do we need to be weighed before we fly? That is what got Southwest in trouble. I’m betting the guy behind me was larger than Kevin Smith but he stayed while Kevin didn’t. The easiest solution would be for all of us to lose weight but until then the airlines will need to work on some solution.

In reality, my pet peeve is not large seatmates or those who bring smelly food on the plane or even the screaming infant flights (though those can be pure torture.) It is the war for overhead bin space especially since they started charging for checked bags. Just once I would like to see the airlines enforce the size of the bag rule. I have a regulation overhead bag that I place in the bin precisely to use the minimum space. Others seem to bring steamer trunks with them and will take up a whole bin on their own and don’t even get me started on the people who put coats and purses up there and get all upset when you move their stuff out of the way. It is a war on US Air to get your bag in the bin and it is the least enjoyable part of flying for me. Charging for bags is asinine to begin with but to have near fights over bin space is just annoying.