I very seldom give ESPN any respect nowadays. Mainly because every story I read about the backstage atmosphere makes the Bristol campus seem like a modern day Caligula. I swear in about two weeks we are going to be reading about Chris Berman hosting key parties. Debauchery aside though, I must give them credit for their 30 on 30 series. Twice in the past week I have had to drop everything in order to watch one of the films.
The first was on the USFL. Now I am in the wonderful age group that just loved the USFL. I was eight or nine when it debuted so with no true allegiances formed yet I was free to become a huge fan of the Chicago Blitz with Tim Spencer in the backfield and Trumaine Johnson the kick ass wide receiver. I can still name most, if not all, of the franchises and it may be one of my favorite leagues of all time. Which made the story of the history of the league all the more interesting.
See, if you ask people today about the USFL most would shove it in the same category as the XFL in terms of it being an absolute flop. Except that was is no way true. The league had Heisman Trophy winners, strong ratings and pretty solid television coverage. A lot of Hall of Famers played in the league and the games were always fun and exciting. Add in the fact that it gave us instant replay, the two point conversion and Burt Reynolds as a team owner and you have a great league.
Plus, spring football was a wonderful idea especially in the early cable era. People forget that college basketball didn’t really take over as a huge sport until the late 80’s. March Madness didn’t even have 64 teams when the USFL started. February and March were horrible times for sports because football was over, baseball hadn’t started and basketball and hockey were still making their way towards the playoffs. There is a reason why Sports Illustrated always published the Swimsuit Issue in February. There are simply no sports to talk about during that month. Having football in the spring was awesome. I still wish someone would give it a chance with a developmental league.
But the USFL is a story of failure featuring Donald Trump. He really did help to demolish the league with the foolish notion of taking on the NFL, moving to a fall schedule and suing the league in a case they would win and lose at the same time. The NFL wouldn’t be where it is today in terms of popularity, player’s salaries and expansion if it wasn’t for the USFL. Great to see a film that memorializes that fact.
The second film touches on a little known aspect of my personality. Some people know (and the rest will once I finish this sentence) that if there is one sport that I have a natural understanding of it is boxing. That will make no sense if you know the way I am as I look like someone who has never been in a fight in his entire life. That is true but I grew up watching boxing, I come from a family with a history of champion boxers, and it is the one sport that I gravitate towards naturally. As a result watching a film on the Holmes – Ali fight is just mesmerizing.
The fight took place in 1980 and while I don’t remember it I do remember the aftermath and the even more ill-fated Ali – Trevor Berbick fight that followed. Watching training footage of Ali in 1980 can only be described as sad, to the point where you are stunned that they allowed him to fight. Physically he looked great and in no way had the body of a 38 year old. But listening to him talk you can hear the words begin to slur and his vocal rhythm being just a little bit off. In the ring it wasn’t that he had lost a step but seemed to be just a little more confused. Even working the speed bag it just didn’t look right.
Much of this is viewed through the lens of history. We know the story of Ali and what he has become so we are trained to look for those signs in his later fights. But even with that anyone who understands boxing could see it in his movements that he was not in any condition to fight the champ. And the fight itself where Holmes, who was Ali’s sparring partner years earlier, just pummeled him round after round while Howard Cosell discusses how horrible it is to see a great fighter’s legacy destroyed in such a fashion is truly heartbreaking. Which raises the question, why did the fight take place and why did people bet on Ali?
More than anything, more than being one of the best heavyweights of all time, Ali was a showman. There is something to be said that his growing up a fan of Gorgeous George and pro wrestling contributed to his success. He was the first athlete to take the theatrical aspects of pro wrestling and apply it to his sport. He made you believe that anything could happen, that miracles were in the script. Given his career and his fights against Foreman and Liston and Frasier he even had the resume to back up the most amazing claims. He fought because in a movie he would have won. But as history has shown, life is not like a movie.
Again, great series for those who are interested in the stories behind sports.
Tuesday, October 27, 2009
Monday, October 26, 2009
I may also go off on a cosine
Instead of starting my post with a set topic and then going off on a random tangent I have decided that my post tonight will consist entirely of random tangents. It makes writing that much easier.
Tangent # 1: How can How I Met Your Mother and The Big Bang Theory be in reruns already? Didn’t the Fall season start like last week or something? Plus, how can The Big Bang Theory skip out on a Halloween episode. If I know my geeks, and good lord do I have a fine understanding of the mental makeup of the people who hang out at comic book stores, if there is one thing I know for certain is that they will never pass up a socially acceptable situation to be in costume.
Tangent # 2: I finally saw the commercial for the fashion forward Snuggie. For those who haven’t seen it the commercial features a woman who mentions that everyone loves the Snuggie but wouldn’t it be better if it came in more stylish designs? Like zebra or leopard print? Well now your prayers have been answered as now you can wear your Snuggie on an African safari and blend in with the animals. This raises the question though that if you have already reached the point at which you will purchase a Snuggie doesn’t that mean that you have lost all respect for yourself that any sense of fashion is now irrelevant? I mean, would you even wear it out in public to begin with?
Tangent # 3: Saw online that Sublime is reuniting. Personally I think we should create a new word for bands that reform after the death of the lead singer especially when he is the only person from the band that you can ever remember. The same thing happened with Blind Melon and Alice in Chains. Maybe we should now just call it “The best tribute band ever.” Just as accurate.
Tangent # 4: On a sad note they are closing all the McDonald’s in Iceland. Guess Kim and I went to the country just in time. That said, I don’t recall ever seeing a McDonald’s, which is extremely odd given that the entire island is like five miles across so you would expect that they wouldn’t be hard to find. Found the Quiznos and the Domino’s Pizza (which was awesome) but never the McDonald’s. Speaking of Quiznos…
Tangent # 5: I am in a bit of a quandary at work. I tend to try to go out to grab lunch because after spending four hours staring at three computer monitors filled with spreadsheets my brain is screaming to look at something, anything, that might be interesting. So one of the places I hit is the Quiznos, which on the whole makes a good sandwich. Except that the one by my office seems to turnover the entire staff every two weeks and thus no one knows how to do anything. I’m stunned that in a country with like twenty percent unemployment I can’t even find someone to make me a sandwich correctly. So do I keep trying and hope that one day the service will improve or give my business to the better run, if slightly less tasty, Subway down the street?
Tangent # 1: How can How I Met Your Mother and The Big Bang Theory be in reruns already? Didn’t the Fall season start like last week or something? Plus, how can The Big Bang Theory skip out on a Halloween episode. If I know my geeks, and good lord do I have a fine understanding of the mental makeup of the people who hang out at comic book stores, if there is one thing I know for certain is that they will never pass up a socially acceptable situation to be in costume.
Tangent # 2: I finally saw the commercial for the fashion forward Snuggie. For those who haven’t seen it the commercial features a woman who mentions that everyone loves the Snuggie but wouldn’t it be better if it came in more stylish designs? Like zebra or leopard print? Well now your prayers have been answered as now you can wear your Snuggie on an African safari and blend in with the animals. This raises the question though that if you have already reached the point at which you will purchase a Snuggie doesn’t that mean that you have lost all respect for yourself that any sense of fashion is now irrelevant? I mean, would you even wear it out in public to begin with?
Tangent # 3: Saw online that Sublime is reuniting. Personally I think we should create a new word for bands that reform after the death of the lead singer especially when he is the only person from the band that you can ever remember. The same thing happened with Blind Melon and Alice in Chains. Maybe we should now just call it “The best tribute band ever.” Just as accurate.
Tangent # 4: On a sad note they are closing all the McDonald’s in Iceland. Guess Kim and I went to the country just in time. That said, I don’t recall ever seeing a McDonald’s, which is extremely odd given that the entire island is like five miles across so you would expect that they wouldn’t be hard to find. Found the Quiznos and the Domino’s Pizza (which was awesome) but never the McDonald’s. Speaking of Quiznos…
Tangent # 5: I am in a bit of a quandary at work. I tend to try to go out to grab lunch because after spending four hours staring at three computer monitors filled with spreadsheets my brain is screaming to look at something, anything, that might be interesting. So one of the places I hit is the Quiznos, which on the whole makes a good sandwich. Except that the one by my office seems to turnover the entire staff every two weeks and thus no one knows how to do anything. I’m stunned that in a country with like twenty percent unemployment I can’t even find someone to make me a sandwich correctly. So do I keep trying and hope that one day the service will improve or give my business to the better run, if slightly less tasty, Subway down the street?
Sunday, October 25, 2009
It is like they are twins or something
Now I want to state up front that I really don’t care what anyone does with their body. If you have to go through immense surgery just to feel comfortable in your own skin than by all means go ahead as long as I don’t have to end up paying for it with my tax dollars. But I really wish someone would have told Chastity Bono that the Charlie Weis look is not the one to choose. No one: man, woman, Charlie Weis, or member of the Hutt clan should aspire to looking like Charlie Weis. Still, if this makes Chastity happy then by all means congratulations.
(Props to Kim to pointing me to E Online for the photo and the absolutely uncanny resemblance.)
Oh, and Charlie Weis didn’t cost us the Boston College game this year! For the first time since before I was actually a Notre Dame student. Well, he tried really hard to screw it up and I agree with DJ why the BC defenders didn’t jump on the eight yard out route at least once is beyond me but we did finally beat Boston College. It does look like my prediction that Notre Dame should go 9 – 3 will come true. Again, no reason why we shouldn’t go 11 – 1 as USC is the only team we play with more talent but Charlie will typically lead us to two losses that we shouldn’t have (Michigan and Pitt as my prediction.)
The other big news from the weekend is that Obama has declared a national emergency due to a rash of zombie outbreaks. Oh wait, that press release wasn’t meant for the public. I mean swine flu. Just ordinary, everyday swine flu. Ignore any rumors you hear about the living dead feasting on human flesh. No, I don’t know why Congress has decided to all go to the Canadian wilderness. I assume it is for the health care debate. Just carry on, all is well…(checks supplies, rereads the Zombie Survival Manual.)
Actually swine flu is a national emergency right now and you would think that I would be more nervous about it. I mean, I am someone who did at least make some preparations for Y2K (made sure my car was filled with gas, hit the cash station, checked the computer code on my robot butler) and I travel all the time. Yet on this one I am not overly concerned. I did get my regular flu shot and am taking every precaution that I can, which is mainly washing my hands a lot, but otherwise I am not too up in arms about it. That is not to say that it isn’t a serious manner and those most at risk should be vaccinated. However, it is not as though we are living through a retelling of The Stand. Though if you start having dreams about an old woman in a farmhouse in Nebraska you might take it as a bit of a sign.
Best of 120 Minutes: I am going to try to bring back my regular music video postings. 120 Minutes of Sunday, the Wednesday Night Music Club on Wednesdays and your 80’s weekend rewind on the weekends. Mainly because I enjoy searching for music videos online but hopefully others will enjoy them as well. We’ll start off by going Dutch with Bettie Serveert’s Ray Ray Rain.
The five random CDs for the week:
1) Liz Phair “Somebody’s Miracle”
2) Damien Rice “O”
3) Howie Day “The Madrigals EP”
4) Neko Case “Live from Austin Texas”
5) Cowboy Junkies “Open Road”
(Props to Kim to pointing me to E Online for the photo and the absolutely uncanny resemblance.)
Oh, and Charlie Weis didn’t cost us the Boston College game this year! For the first time since before I was actually a Notre Dame student. Well, he tried really hard to screw it up and I agree with DJ why the BC defenders didn’t jump on the eight yard out route at least once is beyond me but we did finally beat Boston College. It does look like my prediction that Notre Dame should go 9 – 3 will come true. Again, no reason why we shouldn’t go 11 – 1 as USC is the only team we play with more talent but Charlie will typically lead us to two losses that we shouldn’t have (Michigan and Pitt as my prediction.)
The other big news from the weekend is that Obama has declared a national emergency due to a rash of zombie outbreaks. Oh wait, that press release wasn’t meant for the public. I mean swine flu. Just ordinary, everyday swine flu. Ignore any rumors you hear about the living dead feasting on human flesh. No, I don’t know why Congress has decided to all go to the Canadian wilderness. I assume it is for the health care debate. Just carry on, all is well…(checks supplies, rereads the Zombie Survival Manual.)
Actually swine flu is a national emergency right now and you would think that I would be more nervous about it. I mean, I am someone who did at least make some preparations for Y2K (made sure my car was filled with gas, hit the cash station, checked the computer code on my robot butler) and I travel all the time. Yet on this one I am not overly concerned. I did get my regular flu shot and am taking every precaution that I can, which is mainly washing my hands a lot, but otherwise I am not too up in arms about it. That is not to say that it isn’t a serious manner and those most at risk should be vaccinated. However, it is not as though we are living through a retelling of The Stand. Though if you start having dreams about an old woman in a farmhouse in Nebraska you might take it as a bit of a sign.
Best of 120 Minutes: I am going to try to bring back my regular music video postings. 120 Minutes of Sunday, the Wednesday Night Music Club on Wednesdays and your 80’s weekend rewind on the weekends. Mainly because I enjoy searching for music videos online but hopefully others will enjoy them as well. We’ll start off by going Dutch with Bettie Serveert’s Ray Ray Rain.
The five random CDs for the week:
1) Liz Phair “Somebody’s Miracle”
2) Damien Rice “O”
3) Howie Day “The Madrigals EP”
4) Neko Case “Live from Austin Texas”
5) Cowboy Junkies “Open Road”
Thursday, October 22, 2009
I shall do exactly 6.02 shots
I want to start off by wishing everyone a happy Mole Day on Friday. 10/23 get it? Damnit, Sheldon would have found that funny.
So I am now being confronted with all types of political advertising as I drive to work in the morning. As this is an off election year we are dealing with all of those local races that no one cares about and you are completely surprised that the candidates can even afford yard signs. Especially for the candidate who is running for Coroner. I’m not making this up. Not only is there an election for the job of coroner but people are also openly campaigning for it.
I am at a loss to think of what a debate between coroner candidates would look like. Would they be quizzed on their favorite Quincy episodes? Would imply that the other will, on occasion, wear a patient’s brains as a coonskin cap? Or state that their opponent simply “Really likes dead bodies if you know what I mean?” What should my criteria be in this election anyway?
On another note, it looks like Lil Wayne will be getting a year’s worth of jail time for a gun charge. Let’s study how this will impact his musical career, shall we? Tupac averages a new record every year despite the slight problem of being, for all technical purposes, dead. And we’re not talking “spending a year deceased for tax purposes like Hotblack Desiato” I’m talking when he rolls over in his grave the Earth has to shift type of deceased. So I’m thinking that a year in prison should equate to a five disc box set for Lil Wayne. Ah hip hop, the musical genre where neither death nor imprisonment nor talent get in the way of new record releases.
Since we are going into the last weekend before Halloween (and since I am obviously grasping for topics tonight) I think it is time to start discussing costumes. Especially with Halloween being on a Saturday this year even if you just want to have a normal Saturday night at the bar, sitting on your stool in the corner, talking to no one, and drinking until you can no longer remember your own name, you will now be forced to deal with people in fancy outfits. My question is: at what age is dressing up in a costume to go to a bar no longer appropriate?
I am not questioning wearing a costume to a costume party. There it is a social norm and often there are prizes involved. Or at least that is what I assume happens at those parties. Certainly I will never question wearing a costume to either a science fiction or comic book convention. I mean, do you know what people would say to me if I went to a Star Wars convention in anything other than my Wedge Antilles costume? I would never be able to show my face in public again. But to a bar? That just seems a different matter.
I think at some point you reach an age where doing something because it is fun and stupid no longer becomes acceptable. Dressing up as a human sperm when you are 23? Perfectly understandable. Wearing face paint when you are 35? Kind of depressing. Any thoughts on this matter? Or should I just break out the penguin costume one last time?
So I am now being confronted with all types of political advertising as I drive to work in the morning. As this is an off election year we are dealing with all of those local races that no one cares about and you are completely surprised that the candidates can even afford yard signs. Especially for the candidate who is running for Coroner. I’m not making this up. Not only is there an election for the job of coroner but people are also openly campaigning for it.
I am at a loss to think of what a debate between coroner candidates would look like. Would they be quizzed on their favorite Quincy episodes? Would imply that the other will, on occasion, wear a patient’s brains as a coonskin cap? Or state that their opponent simply “Really likes dead bodies if you know what I mean?” What should my criteria be in this election anyway?
On another note, it looks like Lil Wayne will be getting a year’s worth of jail time for a gun charge. Let’s study how this will impact his musical career, shall we? Tupac averages a new record every year despite the slight problem of being, for all technical purposes, dead. And we’re not talking “spending a year deceased for tax purposes like Hotblack Desiato” I’m talking when he rolls over in his grave the Earth has to shift type of deceased. So I’m thinking that a year in prison should equate to a five disc box set for Lil Wayne. Ah hip hop, the musical genre where neither death nor imprisonment nor talent get in the way of new record releases.
Since we are going into the last weekend before Halloween (and since I am obviously grasping for topics tonight) I think it is time to start discussing costumes. Especially with Halloween being on a Saturday this year even if you just want to have a normal Saturday night at the bar, sitting on your stool in the corner, talking to no one, and drinking until you can no longer remember your own name, you will now be forced to deal with people in fancy outfits. My question is: at what age is dressing up in a costume to go to a bar no longer appropriate?
I am not questioning wearing a costume to a costume party. There it is a social norm and often there are prizes involved. Or at least that is what I assume happens at those parties. Certainly I will never question wearing a costume to either a science fiction or comic book convention. I mean, do you know what people would say to me if I went to a Star Wars convention in anything other than my Wedge Antilles costume? I would never be able to show my face in public again. But to a bar? That just seems a different matter.
I think at some point you reach an age where doing something because it is fun and stupid no longer becomes acceptable. Dressing up as a human sperm when you are 23? Perfectly understandable. Wearing face paint when you are 35? Kind of depressing. Any thoughts on this matter? Or should I just break out the penguin costume one last time?
Wednesday, October 21, 2009
40 Years of Python
This year marks the fortieth anniversary of the debut of Monty Python and as someone who goes well beyond being defined as a fan I figured that I would take up a post to describe just how momentous their work is to me. At this moment I have the scripts to all of the episodes sitting on my desk and that was before I decided on this topic. Over the past week I needed to remember a) the details of the Montgoflier Brothers sketch and b) the list of candidates from the Silly Party. Compare that to the fact that there isn’t a single detail from a Friends episode that I can recall (wasn’t one of the characters some guy named Rod?)As most people can gather much of my sense of humor and my writing style is taken from Monty Python. It was the comedy style that caught my eye and fit with my overall personality. The humor was witty and could vary from being extremely dry (most of the John Cleese bits) to being broad slapstick (such as the fact that every episode seemed to feature Terry Jones in a dress.) Plus, in the entire series there is only one episode with a linear plot. Everything else is randomness with sketches ending midway through and bizarre segues. As anyone who has ever had a conversation with me knows that is pretty much how I live my life.
The interesting point to look at is exactly why myself and a lot of others my age gravitated towards Monty Python. I mean, by the time I started watching they had broken up and I had to search out reruns or old episodes. It was much easier for me to find highlights of the original Saturday Night Live cast but I much more associate myself with Michael Palin than John Belushi. For that we have to dig a little deeper into the nature of the cult classic and fandom.
On some level a degree of popularity is driven by the fact that something is not popular. As the music business clearly shows talent and popularity are not directly related. Something can be the best in its field and not gain mainstream acceptance. That was the way with Python. You had to work to watch it: stay up late to watch PBS, understand jokes about British currency, try to realize why everyone is in a dress. Being a fan took effort and became a mark of honor. It showed that you were dedicated to the cause. And if you are not going to be one of the popular kids at school you try to get your revenge in other ways; mainly by finding something cool that they don’t know about and becoming an expert in it. Music, books, television it all works the same way. A cult classic is something that attracts the smart outcasts who can use it to bond and annoy the popular kids.
Python was perfect for that. Most of the cast went to Oxford and Cambridge and the episodes are written from that perspective. Yes, at times they can be extremely silly but the amount of history and literature on display is incredible. You have the philosopher’s song and the summarize Proust competition along with the Spanish Inquisition. No episode was the same, no plots carried over, it was just smart comedy time after time.
Plus, sometimes there were boobies. Again, can never question the importance of unexpected nudity in the creation of a cult classic.
I still watch episodes from time to time. This blog is littered with references to long forgotten sketches. There is something about the humor that is groundbreaking and timeless. Think of it this way: forty years from now do you think that anyone is going to remember a joke from a Dane Cook set?
Tuesday, October 20, 2009
We now care about Jersey?
I hate to say this but I kind of wish that we had a small boy floating away in a balloon right about now. At least that way I would have a ready made topic to write about. I mean, what am I supposed to write about? The runoff election in Afghanastan? The continuing debate on health care? The fact that one of the candidates for New Jersey governor is so fat that it may prevent him from getting elected?
Actually, I’ll at least touch on that last one. First off, while Christie is rather large he is not what we would describe as “Orca Fat” in the wonderful language of Kayser Soze. True, he could definitely spend some time on Wii Fit but I don’t see it as a reason why he cannot hold public office. What I do have an issue with is the fact that I have to watch commercials for New Jersey political races. I thought it was bad in KC where I had to deal with both Kansas and Missouri debates: mainly Kansas residents voting on how much corn to plant and Missouri residents trying to approve casinos and brothels for Branson. Now I have to watch commercials for Pennsylvania, New Jersey and Delaware. And I’m not even sure if Delaware technically has a government. For all I know governor is chosen by a game of musical chairs.
(Ages and ages ago I wrote a story about an international musical chairs tournament. Given that the Rock, Paper, Scissors championship has been broadcast on ESPN I think I might need to advance this topic a little more.)
I’ll close up with a My Beloved Lindsay update. One of the gossip websites I read (and yes, there are several) did a before and after picture of Miss Lohan from just three years ago. She goes from looking kind of drunk but still attractive to looking like that forty eight year old woman at the end of the bar smoking unfiltered cigarettes and looking at you way too closely. I mean, the combination of hard partying and botox has taken someone who was naturally very pretty and turned her into something that can’t even be described as a shell of her former self. At least shells are clean and pure. She’s more like the empty hamburger wrapper of her former self. Personally, I like the story that people want her to go to rehab but she won’t because she wouldn’t be allowed to drink there. If you are going to go out you might as well do it in style.
Actually, I’ll at least touch on that last one. First off, while Christie is rather large he is not what we would describe as “Orca Fat” in the wonderful language of Kayser Soze. True, he could definitely spend some time on Wii Fit but I don’t see it as a reason why he cannot hold public office. What I do have an issue with is the fact that I have to watch commercials for New Jersey political races. I thought it was bad in KC where I had to deal with both Kansas and Missouri debates: mainly Kansas residents voting on how much corn to plant and Missouri residents trying to approve casinos and brothels for Branson. Now I have to watch commercials for Pennsylvania, New Jersey and Delaware. And I’m not even sure if Delaware technically has a government. For all I know governor is chosen by a game of musical chairs.
(Ages and ages ago I wrote a story about an international musical chairs tournament. Given that the Rock, Paper, Scissors championship has been broadcast on ESPN I think I might need to advance this topic a little more.)
I’ll close up with a My Beloved Lindsay update. One of the gossip websites I read (and yes, there are several) did a before and after picture of Miss Lohan from just three years ago. She goes from looking kind of drunk but still attractive to looking like that forty eight year old woman at the end of the bar smoking unfiltered cigarettes and looking at you way too closely. I mean, the combination of hard partying and botox has taken someone who was naturally very pretty and turned her into something that can’t even be described as a shell of her former self. At least shells are clean and pure. She’s more like the empty hamburger wrapper of her former self. Personally, I like the story that people want her to go to rehab but she won’t because she wouldn’t be allowed to drink there. If you are going to go out you might as well do it in style.
Monday, October 19, 2009
Ten questions
Just some random questions that have been on my mind recently. If anyone has any answers please post them in the comments:
1) If you swung a lightsaber at Superman what would the end result be? Presuming that he doesn’t fly away of course.
2) Why can Superman fly anyway? I understand the whole super strength aspect due to coming from a planet with different gravity but why would that enable flight? At best he should just be able to jump really, really high.
3) Plus, wouldn’t life be an absolute pain in the ass with super strength? I mean, how would you pick up a newspaper without just demolishing the table? Or lean on a wall without collapsing the building?
4) On a non-super hero note do you think that anyone in the major leagues was that kid in little league who they stuck out in right field who could never hit the ball or were they star athletes their entire lives? I’m really curious about this. I cannot recall a single story about someone who went from a complete nothing to a top athlete.
5) Why do baseball managers wear uniforms? Basketball coaches aren’t in shorts, hockey coaches are in suits even though hockey jerseys are the coolest things ever. Did we ever anticipate Tommy Lasorda to come out and pitch a few innings?
6) On my flight yesterday there was a teenage girl wearing a snuggie. Should I take this as a sign that the planet is doomed and I might as well just empty my 401K now?
7) Should I be depressed by the fact that they are publishing new Winnie the Pooh stories? I don’t have a problem with the new Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy book, which is actually pretty decent, but the fact that they are introducing new characters into the Hundred Acre Wood just seems to be rather crass. Like adding another character to Hamlet to make it a little hipper.
8) Green Lantern weakness is the color Yellow. Is that the dumbest thing you have ever heard? “I’m the most powerful being in the universe. Oh no, a classic Morton Salt umbrella!”
9) What should my Halloween costume be this year? I’m thinking my usual Where’s Waldo costume might be a little too overdone and apparently my Illegal Alien get up has been dubbed offensive.
10) God I hate Wil Wheaton. That is less of a question than a fact but…Wheaton!!!!
1) If you swung a lightsaber at Superman what would the end result be? Presuming that he doesn’t fly away of course.
2) Why can Superman fly anyway? I understand the whole super strength aspect due to coming from a planet with different gravity but why would that enable flight? At best he should just be able to jump really, really high.
3) Plus, wouldn’t life be an absolute pain in the ass with super strength? I mean, how would you pick up a newspaper without just demolishing the table? Or lean on a wall without collapsing the building?
4) On a non-super hero note do you think that anyone in the major leagues was that kid in little league who they stuck out in right field who could never hit the ball or were they star athletes their entire lives? I’m really curious about this. I cannot recall a single story about someone who went from a complete nothing to a top athlete.
5) Why do baseball managers wear uniforms? Basketball coaches aren’t in shorts, hockey coaches are in suits even though hockey jerseys are the coolest things ever. Did we ever anticipate Tommy Lasorda to come out and pitch a few innings?
6) On my flight yesterday there was a teenage girl wearing a snuggie. Should I take this as a sign that the planet is doomed and I might as well just empty my 401K now?
7) Should I be depressed by the fact that they are publishing new Winnie the Pooh stories? I don’t have a problem with the new Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy book, which is actually pretty decent, but the fact that they are introducing new characters into the Hundred Acre Wood just seems to be rather crass. Like adding another character to Hamlet to make it a little hipper.
8) Green Lantern weakness is the color Yellow. Is that the dumbest thing you have ever heard? “I’m the most powerful being in the universe. Oh no, a classic Morton Salt umbrella!”
9) What should my Halloween costume be this year? I’m thinking my usual Where’s Waldo costume might be a little too overdone and apparently my Illegal Alien get up has been dubbed offensive.
10) God I hate Wil Wheaton. That is less of a question than a fact but…Wheaton!!!!
Sunday, October 18, 2009
Up was apparently not scientifically accurate
Well, it looks like for all intensive purposes that the entire balloon boy incident was a hoax and not a very well thought out one at that. Let me put on both my scientist and con artist hats to explain just where they went wrong.
First off, from a basic science perspective there is no way that balloon would have ever gotten off the ground (much less to 7,000 feet) with a six year old inside. As anyone who watches Mythbusters knows the amount of helium balloons required to lift a small child into the air roughly fills up an airplane hanger. There just isn’t enough displacement to lift that much weight. Now, while watching the highlights on Thursday I did not have a sense of scale until they showed it landing. Given that it was the size of a backyard trampoline and flimsily constructed at that it made even the concept of it being real very doubtful.
I will say the kid being scared and hiding to be a pretty decent story. It makes sense as to what a six year old would do. He’d accidentally untie the balloon, get nervous and hide. Except that they filmed it taking off, which doesn’t tie into an “accident”. Or the fact that the attic in the garage had no apparent ladder in which a kid could reach it. Whatever happened to hiding under the bed or in the closet? That would have worked at least for a few hours.
Then there is the mistake of trying a cry wolf defense when you were already on Wife Swap as well as some viral videos. That immediately calls your motives into question. You can’t try to pull off a con when everyone already assumes that you are an attention whore. There were questions regarding the reality of this from the beginning just because they were on reality tv.
Finally, and the biggest mistake of them all, is that you do not hinge the entire con on a six year old named Falcon. (Seriously, if you are going with that name spell it Falken in honor of War Games.) Do you trust a six year old to stick to a story with hundreds of cameras in front of his face? Or when the morning shows have him talking at four or five in the morning because you are in Denver? Of course the kid forgot what he was supposed to say. That is what kids do. Have you ever seen a grade school play? Plus, isn’t there something ethically wrong about dragging your kids in front of the camera crews less than 12 hours after all this drama unfolded? Wouldn’t you as a parent want to keep them off camera for at least a little while and wait a week to be on Dateline?
Oh well, the parents are looking at jail time and no hope for their reality show. See, this is what happens when you try desperately for your own show. They should have just gone for the tried and true method: attempt to date Flavor Flav and be interesting enough to warrant your own show.
The five random CDs for the week:
1) Richard Thompson “Live from Austin, TX”
2) Fionn Regan “The End of History”
3) Beausoleil “La Danse de la Vie”
4) Tori Amos “To Venus and Back”
5) Cowboy Junkies “At the End of Paths Taken”
First off, from a basic science perspective there is no way that balloon would have ever gotten off the ground (much less to 7,000 feet) with a six year old inside. As anyone who watches Mythbusters knows the amount of helium balloons required to lift a small child into the air roughly fills up an airplane hanger. There just isn’t enough displacement to lift that much weight. Now, while watching the highlights on Thursday I did not have a sense of scale until they showed it landing. Given that it was the size of a backyard trampoline and flimsily constructed at that it made even the concept of it being real very doubtful.
I will say the kid being scared and hiding to be a pretty decent story. It makes sense as to what a six year old would do. He’d accidentally untie the balloon, get nervous and hide. Except that they filmed it taking off, which doesn’t tie into an “accident”. Or the fact that the attic in the garage had no apparent ladder in which a kid could reach it. Whatever happened to hiding under the bed or in the closet? That would have worked at least for a few hours.
Then there is the mistake of trying a cry wolf defense when you were already on Wife Swap as well as some viral videos. That immediately calls your motives into question. You can’t try to pull off a con when everyone already assumes that you are an attention whore. There were questions regarding the reality of this from the beginning just because they were on reality tv.
Finally, and the biggest mistake of them all, is that you do not hinge the entire con on a six year old named Falcon. (Seriously, if you are going with that name spell it Falken in honor of War Games.) Do you trust a six year old to stick to a story with hundreds of cameras in front of his face? Or when the morning shows have him talking at four or five in the morning because you are in Denver? Of course the kid forgot what he was supposed to say. That is what kids do. Have you ever seen a grade school play? Plus, isn’t there something ethically wrong about dragging your kids in front of the camera crews less than 12 hours after all this drama unfolded? Wouldn’t you as a parent want to keep them off camera for at least a little while and wait a week to be on Dateline?
Oh well, the parents are looking at jail time and no hope for their reality show. See, this is what happens when you try desperately for your own show. They should have just gone for the tried and true method: attempt to date Flavor Flav and be interesting enough to warrant your own show.
The five random CDs for the week:
1) Richard Thompson “Live from Austin, TX”
2) Fionn Regan “The End of History”
3) Beausoleil “La Danse de la Vie”
4) Tori Amos “To Venus and Back”
5) Cowboy Junkies “At the End of Paths Taken”
Thursday, October 15, 2009
Up, up and away
I have reached the point in my career where I am sent on business trips. Not overnight trips mind you, I yet have reached hotel room status, but still a trip there and back is now part of my job criteria. Outside of allowing me to see things that I might otherwise not see (mainly Sbarros at various airports) it does create a very strange disconnect from what is going on in the rest of the world.
I’ll explain with today’s big news story. When I made it to the airport for my flight home this afternoon I saw a television turned to CNN with a Breaking News logo and something that looked very similar to a UFO. I was thrilled that a UFO invasion would be considered breaking news but rather surprised that CNN didn’t already have graphics premade with “Aliens Attack!” I look at it and quickly find out the a six year old has floated away in a helium balloon and am a combination of surprised, amused and concerned about the little guy’s well being.
So I fly out and as I make my way out of the terminal after landing I make sure to try to find a television. The image of something falling from the balloon took most of the humor out of the situation. The story was now somber and dire. It is not the way you wanted that story to end.
I drove home dealing with crappy traffic due to the rain and when I get to my apartment I flip on CNN to get the update only to find that the kid was never in the balloon. He had been hiding in the garage because he was scared that he would get in trouble for releasing the balloon from the parents’ backyard. This was a great relief because no one wants to see a six year old hurt and it raises fun questions like what did this cost law enforcement and who builds a flying saucer balloon and keeps in the backyard in plain reach of small children anyway?
Thanks to the internet I was able to find out just who. Apparently the family had appeared on Wife Swap: the reality show that isn’t nearly as dirty as it sounds. It also mainly exists to highlight the most unstable families in America as we get to see the worst parenting techniques imaginable. So the next time you see a madcap character on a reality show remember that they might be building their own spaceship in their backyard.
For the record though, I still feel sorry for the little guy who is going to get yelled at for starting all of this. I remember when I was his age and my robot got loose in the neighborhood and destroyed several garages and scared more than a few dogs before it was stopped. Sure, it probably wasn’t wise to allow a six year old to equip flamethrowers to a machine that had a high probability of becoming sentinent but how is a kid every supposed to learn unless he makes mistakes? It wasn’t my fault that I got the sign backwards in the source code.
Enjoy the weekend everybody. Keep your feet on the ground and keep reaching for the stars.
I’ll explain with today’s big news story. When I made it to the airport for my flight home this afternoon I saw a television turned to CNN with a Breaking News logo and something that looked very similar to a UFO. I was thrilled that a UFO invasion would be considered breaking news but rather surprised that CNN didn’t already have graphics premade with “Aliens Attack!” I look at it and quickly find out the a six year old has floated away in a helium balloon and am a combination of surprised, amused and concerned about the little guy’s well being.
So I fly out and as I make my way out of the terminal after landing I make sure to try to find a television. The image of something falling from the balloon took most of the humor out of the situation. The story was now somber and dire. It is not the way you wanted that story to end.
I drove home dealing with crappy traffic due to the rain and when I get to my apartment I flip on CNN to get the update only to find that the kid was never in the balloon. He had been hiding in the garage because he was scared that he would get in trouble for releasing the balloon from the parents’ backyard. This was a great relief because no one wants to see a six year old hurt and it raises fun questions like what did this cost law enforcement and who builds a flying saucer balloon and keeps in the backyard in plain reach of small children anyway?
Thanks to the internet I was able to find out just who. Apparently the family had appeared on Wife Swap: the reality show that isn’t nearly as dirty as it sounds. It also mainly exists to highlight the most unstable families in America as we get to see the worst parenting techniques imaginable. So the next time you see a madcap character on a reality show remember that they might be building their own spaceship in their backyard.
For the record though, I still feel sorry for the little guy who is going to get yelled at for starting all of this. I remember when I was his age and my robot got loose in the neighborhood and destroyed several garages and scared more than a few dogs before it was stopped. Sure, it probably wasn’t wise to allow a six year old to equip flamethrowers to a machine that had a high probability of becoming sentinent but how is a kid every supposed to learn unless he makes mistakes? It wasn’t my fault that I got the sign backwards in the source code.
Enjoy the weekend everybody. Keep your feet on the ground and keep reaching for the stars.
Wednesday, October 14, 2009
Cohesive topics are not my specialty
First off, I have to say that I quite disagree with the argument that Leonard dating Penny is even more unlikely than Raj not being able to talk to women based on one simple point: I am dating the woman of my dreams. How can we consider that to be an unlikely occurrence that a science obsessed guy could be with a pretty girl? I got the girl so why can’t others?
(Clarifications: In the previous sentence “got” in no way implies a sense of ownership in the way guys in Ed Hardy t-shirts will talk about “my girl” in roughly the same tone of voice as they refer to “my car” or “my Ed Hardy t-shirt.” Also, “girl” is used as a colloquialism here as Kim is an intelligent and sophisticated woman, which in many ways makes the Penny analogy slightly suspect. “The” is rather self-explanatory and “I” refers to me. Hope that helps.)
(Also, just for those wondering, Kim and I are celebrating our eight month anniversary; yes, our first date was on Valentine’s Day. As Kim eloquently put it, this marks my longest relationship by, oh, roughly seven months. And you know what, for eight months I have been completely unable to get the smile off of my face.)
Switching gears so fast that I probably just blew out a transmission I must officially offer my condolences to the wrestling world on the passing of the legendary Captain Lou Albano. Best known for his penchant for rubber bands (around his beard, pierced through his cheek), presence in Cyndi Lauper videos and starring role as Mario on the Super Mario Brothers cartoon show the Captain passed away today at the age of 76. The manager of champions will be well remembered for all of the tag teams that he led to glory; the majority of which were Samoans as for some reason the WWF tag champs in the seventies were always Samoan. The mystery as to who officially anointed him with the title “Captain” has never been answered. I always assumed that it was nautical in nature.
Other news of the day was the Dow breaking 10,000. This was met with cheers by those of us on the Trade Floor. I’m not making that up; you actually heard a round of applause when we saw five digits for the first time in a year. Now as most people know financially speaking the fact that the Dow broke 10K is meaningless but from a psychological perspective it is very important. Given that at time psychology is more important than economics in understanding the stock market it is something to pay attention to. Basically, it is a sign that the market believes that it has some strength and that there is hope for the future.
The problem is I really have an issue with it. This just does not feel like a 10,000 Dow market to me. We have no job growth and while they say tech and banking is leading the way back I’m just not entirely sold on the fact that the growth is really there. With a jobless recovery I’d feel more confident in the 9,000 range. What I really think is happening is that the dollar is so weak (1.49 to the Euro) that the markets are higher due to the devalued currency. That worries me even more. Still, I was on the record for saying that we wouldn’t see 10,000 until next year at the earliest so take it as a good sign. I hope.
(Clarifications: In the previous sentence “got” in no way implies a sense of ownership in the way guys in Ed Hardy t-shirts will talk about “my girl” in roughly the same tone of voice as they refer to “my car” or “my Ed Hardy t-shirt.” Also, “girl” is used as a colloquialism here as Kim is an intelligent and sophisticated woman, which in many ways makes the Penny analogy slightly suspect. “The” is rather self-explanatory and “I” refers to me. Hope that helps.)
(Also, just for those wondering, Kim and I are celebrating our eight month anniversary; yes, our first date was on Valentine’s Day. As Kim eloquently put it, this marks my longest relationship by, oh, roughly seven months. And you know what, for eight months I have been completely unable to get the smile off of my face.)
Switching gears so fast that I probably just blew out a transmission I must officially offer my condolences to the wrestling world on the passing of the legendary Captain Lou Albano. Best known for his penchant for rubber bands (around his beard, pierced through his cheek), presence in Cyndi Lauper videos and starring role as Mario on the Super Mario Brothers cartoon show the Captain passed away today at the age of 76. The manager of champions will be well remembered for all of the tag teams that he led to glory; the majority of which were Samoans as for some reason the WWF tag champs in the seventies were always Samoan. The mystery as to who officially anointed him with the title “Captain” has never been answered. I always assumed that it was nautical in nature.
Other news of the day was the Dow breaking 10,000. This was met with cheers by those of us on the Trade Floor. I’m not making that up; you actually heard a round of applause when we saw five digits for the first time in a year. Now as most people know financially speaking the fact that the Dow broke 10K is meaningless but from a psychological perspective it is very important. Given that at time psychology is more important than economics in understanding the stock market it is something to pay attention to. Basically, it is a sign that the market believes that it has some strength and that there is hope for the future.
The problem is I really have an issue with it. This just does not feel like a 10,000 Dow market to me. We have no job growth and while they say tech and banking is leading the way back I’m just not entirely sold on the fact that the growth is really there. With a jobless recovery I’d feel more confident in the 9,000 range. What I really think is happening is that the dollar is so weak (1.49 to the Euro) that the markets are higher due to the devalued currency. That worries me even more. Still, I was on the record for saying that we wouldn’t see 10,000 until next year at the earliest so take it as a good sign. I hope.
Tuesday, October 13, 2009
The curse of being good at math
I saw some interesting comments online about last night’s Big Bang Theory episode. They were on the topic of Raj and how unrealistic it is that he is unable to speak around women. Given that he has a doctorate and works at a university they tried to argue that there is no way that he could function without speaking to women. To which I (and a few others) replied: you obviously haven’t spent much time in a science department. Now I never reached that high level astrophysics section of the world that Raj is in but even on the lower levels of science and engineering two things are guaranteed. First off, we do everything possible not to actually speak to another human being. Second, while it would be wrong to describe a woman in a science department as a unicorn given that they do exist let’s use the analogy of a giant panda: you know they exist even if you have never seen one in the wild and while they look cute and cuddly they are most likely going to tear your head off.
And people wonder why I spent a little time in marketing as a change of pace.
Now the interesting thing is the chicken and egg question regarding the first point. (And yes, women are more than able to be scientists and engineers and typically make up the best that I have met in my life. Why there aren’t more of them in the field is a question for another night.) Are engineers anti-social because we are engineers or do we become engineers because we are anti-social? What type of person chooses a life of numbers and equations and discussions of appropriate gauge wire for use in a circuit?
There is something to say that there is a connection between the two. There are a group of people (myself included at times) who simply like dealing with numbers more than people. Mainly because numbers follow very specific rules and there is no ambiguity to them. Well, except when you are dealing with infinity where everything is ambiguous but for the most part there are laws that must be followed. People don’t work that way. There is no equation to predict human action the way you can predict the flight of a cannonball. To a certain group of people that makes for a very attractive career path.
What makes it worse is that the work itself promotes that type of bunker mentality. Even in my current job, which is way more social than some of my previous roles, I still find myself spending days mired in data crunching. On those days it is just spreadsheets and headphones and literally millions of data points being sifted until I come out with an equation on the other side. This isn’t work that you do by discussing topics at a Starbucks. It is just brute analysis. To do it well you really need to know how to put up blinders to the outside world.
I guess that is one of the reasons that I like the Big Bang Theory so much. Sheldon is someone who is so antisocial by nature that there is no other field that he could possibly be in than theoretical physics. He is happiest when he is alone with his equations in a structured environment. Leonard, on the other hand, loves his work and numbers but wants more out of life. He wants that social aspect but his career path has given him none of the skills to make it work. I’m more of a Leonard. I’d like to think that I have more skills but I’m still a work in progress. Maybe there is hope for me yet.
And people wonder why I spent a little time in marketing as a change of pace.
Now the interesting thing is the chicken and egg question regarding the first point. (And yes, women are more than able to be scientists and engineers and typically make up the best that I have met in my life. Why there aren’t more of them in the field is a question for another night.) Are engineers anti-social because we are engineers or do we become engineers because we are anti-social? What type of person chooses a life of numbers and equations and discussions of appropriate gauge wire for use in a circuit?
There is something to say that there is a connection between the two. There are a group of people (myself included at times) who simply like dealing with numbers more than people. Mainly because numbers follow very specific rules and there is no ambiguity to them. Well, except when you are dealing with infinity where everything is ambiguous but for the most part there are laws that must be followed. People don’t work that way. There is no equation to predict human action the way you can predict the flight of a cannonball. To a certain group of people that makes for a very attractive career path.
What makes it worse is that the work itself promotes that type of bunker mentality. Even in my current job, which is way more social than some of my previous roles, I still find myself spending days mired in data crunching. On those days it is just spreadsheets and headphones and literally millions of data points being sifted until I come out with an equation on the other side. This isn’t work that you do by discussing topics at a Starbucks. It is just brute analysis. To do it well you really need to know how to put up blinders to the outside world.
I guess that is one of the reasons that I like the Big Bang Theory so much. Sheldon is someone who is so antisocial by nature that there is no other field that he could possibly be in than theoretical physics. He is happiest when he is alone with his equations in a structured environment. Leonard, on the other hand, loves his work and numbers but wants more out of life. He wants that social aspect but his career path has given him none of the skills to make it work. I’m more of a Leonard. I’d like to think that I have more skills but I’m still a work in progress. Maybe there is hope for me yet.
Monday, October 12, 2009
Man on the Moon (if you believe)
When I was a little kid and just starting to understand football I would watch The Neil Armstrong show every Sunday morning on channel 2 in Chicago. I recall being extremely confused as to why the first man on the moon would go on to be the head coach of the Chicago Bears. As a seven year old I could not quite understand how one went from astronaut to football coach but I found it to be rather cool. As an adult I realize that they were two different people but having lived through both the Dave Wandstadt and the Dick Jauron eras sometimes I feel that I would prefer an astronaut.
My point, and I do have one, is that Neil Armstrong may be the most forgotten historical figure in history and he is still alive. Think about it; he is the first man to walk on the moon and I have no image of him in my mind other than a few pictures of him from the Apollo project. That might just be because I am a NASA geek. Most people probably cannot pull up a mental image of him at all.
Isn’t that bizarre? Today is Columbus Day when a portion of the country gets a three day weekend to commemorate the discovery of the New World, which came as a great surprise to the people who had been living there for thousands of years. But every single person knows who Columbus is and can recall the pictures from the textbooks and name his three ships. Even the pioneers of flight are well remembered. The Wright Brothers, Lindbergh, Earhart, all of them comprise our historic landscape and are still held up as excellent, barrier breaking figures. Heck, I can even discuss the Montgolfier Brothers who were the first to fly in a hot air balloon (partly because they are the answer to a trivia question but mainly because they appear in a Monty Python sketch (Episode 40: The Golden Age of Ballooning)).
Neil Armstrong may be one of the greatest enigmas of history. Here is someone who did something that no one else in human history had ever done. He stood on the moon and looked down at the Earth. It is an accomplishment that will be mentioned in history books for as long as there are history books. But with all of that fame, all of that acclaim, what does he do? He goes on to become a college professor and spends some time working on his farm. He has remained the perfect, clean cut Eagle Scout that led him to be chosen by the space program. No ego, no desire for fame, just a humble worker. It seems stunning in a world where being on a season of the Real World can provide you with a media career.
Fame is a strange thing. What most people don’t acknowledge is that it is so fleeting that it is rather meaningless. In three years you will mention Jon and Kate and go “who” in the same way that we mention that girl who was stuck in the well. You can be the center of attention and still be forgotten. But some fame, even unwanted fame, will last forever. You’ll always hear about Lindbergh and Armstrong. I just find it fascinating that the one person among us who will be known for the rest of time could walk past me and I wouldn’t recognize him whereas Paris Hilton would be mobbed by onlookers. Kind of sad, I think.
My point, and I do have one, is that Neil Armstrong may be the most forgotten historical figure in history and he is still alive. Think about it; he is the first man to walk on the moon and I have no image of him in my mind other than a few pictures of him from the Apollo project. That might just be because I am a NASA geek. Most people probably cannot pull up a mental image of him at all.
Isn’t that bizarre? Today is Columbus Day when a portion of the country gets a three day weekend to commemorate the discovery of the New World, which came as a great surprise to the people who had been living there for thousands of years. But every single person knows who Columbus is and can recall the pictures from the textbooks and name his three ships. Even the pioneers of flight are well remembered. The Wright Brothers, Lindbergh, Earhart, all of them comprise our historic landscape and are still held up as excellent, barrier breaking figures. Heck, I can even discuss the Montgolfier Brothers who were the first to fly in a hot air balloon (partly because they are the answer to a trivia question but mainly because they appear in a Monty Python sketch (Episode 40: The Golden Age of Ballooning)).
Neil Armstrong may be one of the greatest enigmas of history. Here is someone who did something that no one else in human history had ever done. He stood on the moon and looked down at the Earth. It is an accomplishment that will be mentioned in history books for as long as there are history books. But with all of that fame, all of that acclaim, what does he do? He goes on to become a college professor and spends some time working on his farm. He has remained the perfect, clean cut Eagle Scout that led him to be chosen by the space program. No ego, no desire for fame, just a humble worker. It seems stunning in a world where being on a season of the Real World can provide you with a media career.
Fame is a strange thing. What most people don’t acknowledge is that it is so fleeting that it is rather meaningless. In three years you will mention Jon and Kate and go “who” in the same way that we mention that girl who was stuck in the well. You can be the center of attention and still be forgotten. But some fame, even unwanted fame, will last forever. You’ll always hear about Lindbergh and Armstrong. I just find it fascinating that the one person among us who will be known for the rest of time could walk past me and I wouldn’t recognize him whereas Paris Hilton would be mobbed by onlookers. Kind of sad, I think.
Sunday, October 11, 2009
The peace prize should not be a participant ribbon
Since I received two comments on it I felt that I should talk about the Nobel Prizes that were awarded last week. I can’t believe that Bell Labs picked up yet another win in physics. Talk about one of the most underrated places for scientific advancement in the world. Most of your day to day life is influenced by the work of Bell Labs. And, I was completely screwed out of the prize in literature. I was in complete understanding that my reviews of The Pick Up Artist 2 was the epoch of the English language.
Oh, wait, the comments were about the other award. My mistake.
You know it is not a good sign when the announcement of the peace prize is met with gasps of astonishment from journalists. This is not an award that is well known for its shocks. It’s not like the Best Supporting Actress Oscar though in this case it is very similar to a win by Marisa Tomei. I’ve spent all weekend thinking about how in the world Obama winning the Peace Prize makes sense and I have made zero progress.
Let’s start with the technicalities. Nominations were made on Feb. 1 at which point Obama’s accomplishments were a) being elected president and b) making some nice speeches. The five man panel who chose the award in Norway did so this month during which Obama accomplished a) being president, b) giving some nice speeches and c) uh, not allowing an asteroid to slam into the earth? Really tough to think of a third accomplishment of his first year in office. Certainly nothing worthy of a peace prize. The journalists captured in North Korea were freed by Bill Clinton, we aren’t any closer to peace in the Mideast and he is leading a nation involved in two wars one of which we are looking at escalating.
So clearly this award wasn’t about what he had accomplished and even Obama admitted as such. I know that much of the talk has been that he was given the award because of the promise of his presidency. That hope of change and a step forward and just a vague sense of progress. Except that all of those platitudes are really, really intangible. The better way of saying this is that he is given the Peace Prize because he isn’t George Bush. This isn’t an indication of how positively the rest of the world views Obama; it is a sign of just how negatively they viewed Bush.
It was interesting that on Friday I saw a lot of pundits recommending that he politely decline the award and to be honest, I was kind of hoping that he would. It is a great honor to be sure and I can feel pride in that it was given to an American in much of the same way that I feel pride when the US wins a bronze medal in Team Handball but it was a truly undeserved award at this time. It was given for future promise, for the possibility of what might happen, for a beautiful future that for all purposes might be imaginary. Given the people who are doing concrete work to make the planet a better place and to help the oppressed I wish that they would get the attention. In past years Doctors without Borders and the Society Against Landmines were given well-deserved focus for the amazing work that they do and this time I think that the committee missed the point. That said, they also have given one to Kissinger and many people consider him to be a war criminal so who knows what the committee is actually thinking.
(Also, has Obama said what he is going to do with the prize money? Please, please give it to charity.)
As always, this is just an award decided by five Norwegians so it shouldn’t be considered to be the be all and end all of the world. And I certainly don’t want it to seem like I am blaming Obama for receiving the award: he didn’t nominate himself or campaign for the award and seemed to be legitimately shocked at receiving it. And it is a major honor so I congratulate him on it. I just wished that it was awarded on results instead of promises. Because right now I have seen a lot of promises out of Washington and very little in the way of results.
Best of 120 Minutes: Frente! I’m not excited about that but they do use the exclamation point as part of their name. It would be like my officially changing my name to Chris is Super Awesome! Actually, I should get started on the paperwork for that…
Your five random CDs for the week:
1) The New Pornographers “Mass Romantic”
2) Various Artists “Down to the Promised Land”
3) Pearl Jam “No Code”
4) Mindy Smith “Long Island Shores”
5) Mary Chapin Carpenter “Come On Come On”
Oh, wait, the comments were about the other award. My mistake.
You know it is not a good sign when the announcement of the peace prize is met with gasps of astonishment from journalists. This is not an award that is well known for its shocks. It’s not like the Best Supporting Actress Oscar though in this case it is very similar to a win by Marisa Tomei. I’ve spent all weekend thinking about how in the world Obama winning the Peace Prize makes sense and I have made zero progress.
Let’s start with the technicalities. Nominations were made on Feb. 1 at which point Obama’s accomplishments were a) being elected president and b) making some nice speeches. The five man panel who chose the award in Norway did so this month during which Obama accomplished a) being president, b) giving some nice speeches and c) uh, not allowing an asteroid to slam into the earth? Really tough to think of a third accomplishment of his first year in office. Certainly nothing worthy of a peace prize. The journalists captured in North Korea were freed by Bill Clinton, we aren’t any closer to peace in the Mideast and he is leading a nation involved in two wars one of which we are looking at escalating.
So clearly this award wasn’t about what he had accomplished and even Obama admitted as such. I know that much of the talk has been that he was given the award because of the promise of his presidency. That hope of change and a step forward and just a vague sense of progress. Except that all of those platitudes are really, really intangible. The better way of saying this is that he is given the Peace Prize because he isn’t George Bush. This isn’t an indication of how positively the rest of the world views Obama; it is a sign of just how negatively they viewed Bush.
It was interesting that on Friday I saw a lot of pundits recommending that he politely decline the award and to be honest, I was kind of hoping that he would. It is a great honor to be sure and I can feel pride in that it was given to an American in much of the same way that I feel pride when the US wins a bronze medal in Team Handball but it was a truly undeserved award at this time. It was given for future promise, for the possibility of what might happen, for a beautiful future that for all purposes might be imaginary. Given the people who are doing concrete work to make the planet a better place and to help the oppressed I wish that they would get the attention. In past years Doctors without Borders and the Society Against Landmines were given well-deserved focus for the amazing work that they do and this time I think that the committee missed the point. That said, they also have given one to Kissinger and many people consider him to be a war criminal so who knows what the committee is actually thinking.
(Also, has Obama said what he is going to do with the prize money? Please, please give it to charity.)
As always, this is just an award decided by five Norwegians so it shouldn’t be considered to be the be all and end all of the world. And I certainly don’t want it to seem like I am blaming Obama for receiving the award: he didn’t nominate himself or campaign for the award and seemed to be legitimately shocked at receiving it. And it is a major honor so I congratulate him on it. I just wished that it was awarded on results instead of promises. Because right now I have seen a lot of promises out of Washington and very little in the way of results.
Best of 120 Minutes: Frente! I’m not excited about that but they do use the exclamation point as part of their name. It would be like my officially changing my name to Chris is Super Awesome! Actually, I should get started on the paperwork for that…
Your five random CDs for the week:
1) The New Pornographers “Mass Romantic”
2) Various Artists “Down to the Promised Land”
3) Pearl Jam “No Code”
4) Mindy Smith “Long Island Shores”
5) Mary Chapin Carpenter “Come On Come On”
Thursday, October 08, 2009
Get fit and have "fun" doing it
Time for part two in my epic quest to get fit and make a fool out of myself in the process. Here are the remaining Wii Fit Plus games that will continued to be scored on exercise time, calories burned and what someone would say to you if they walked into the room while you were working out.
Obstacle Course: This is probably the most disappointing of all of the mini-games. It promises to be a real life, first person Super Mario Brothers. Run! Dodge swinging medicine balls like in the original American Gladiators! Jump! Well, try to jump because you can’t actually jump on the balance board without breaking it and the squat to jump action doesn’t work for me at all. I might jump, I might not, there is no rhyme or reason to it. Makes for a horrible experience and leaves me hoping for an American Gladiators video game. And the one with Nitro not that damn Wolf version. Exercise Time: 2 minutes, Calories Burned: 10, “Ooh, watch out for Bowser!”
Tilt City: Probably my favorite game of the whole bunch even though it really has no exercise component to it. Well, maybe that is the reason but hear me out. You hold the Wiimote in your hands while on the balance board and have to shift your hands and your balance to help guide colored balls into the correct buckets. Think of it as a giant game of Plinko with you controlling the plinks. For someone like me who has no coordination this is actually a fun, challenging exercise that helps me get my upper body, lower body and brain all working in sync. It probably looks silly but it is beneficial. Exercise Time: 2 minutes, Calories Burned: 5, “Shake that moneymaker.”
Rhythm Parade: Finally, an activity for those of us who feel that Advanced Step is not embarrassing enough. Now you get to be your very own drum major leading a parade. My fist problem is that I have to march in time with the rhythm, which requires that I, well, have rhythm. Also, the outfit your character is wearing is less than appealing. As you march you have to lift your arms in the air at the proper times to build a larger band. So all you do is march and fling your hands around wildly for a few minutes. You don’t even get to do that cool Penn State standing flip at the end. Well, I try to pull it off but it isn’t really recommended. Exercise Time: 3 minutes, Calories Burned: 17, “So how was that time at Band Camp?”
Big Top Juggling: I have made it clear in the past that one of my goals in life is to learn how to juggle. Well now I can learn how to juggle without having to actually juggle and I get to do it while standing on top of a ball! Or at least that is what my Mii is doing in this game that works on balance and hand eye coordination. This is another one that is more entertaining than it should be as I am really striving to improve my technique. That is what the Wii is best at, every once in a while you come across a game that you just want to conquer. Exercise Time: 2 minutes, Calories Burned: 7, “This would be so much cooler if it involved chainsaws.”
Skateboard Arena: Thankfully the typical synthetic pop is replaced in this game by Avril Lavigne’s “Sk8ter Boi”. Pretty basic as your goal is to skate around an arena, hitting objects for points and performing tricks. Steering is by leaning forward and back or, in my case, running into walls and hoping it points you in the right direction. Not too bad but nothing too memorable. Put this one in the category of “at least you aren’t embarrassed by it.” Still can’t touch the best skating game ever: “Skate or Die” on the Commodore 64. Exercise Time: 2 minutes, Calories Burned: 7 calories, “Where’s Poochie?”
Table Tilt Plus: A remake of a game from the original Wii Fit, which was a remake of Marble Madness to begin with. Using the balance board you move your marbles (and no, that is not meant to be a sexual innuendo) from one side of the board to the other avoiding the obstacles in the way. Another good game and one that teaches fine body control. Again, you aren’t going to become an athlete by doing this game but you might get a better sense of balance and given the challenges that I have staying upright that is a good thing. Exercise Time: 2 minutes, Calories Burned: 5, “This would be much cooler as pinball.”
Balance Bubble Plus: Another remake of a game with this one being the boy in the bubble without the whole John Travolta movie connections. In a game that never quite made much sense from a plot perspective you are in a bubble that must go through this winding river without touching the sides causing the bubble to burst. No, I do not understand how a bubble could withstand my weight but brushing up against a twig would break it. Enjoyable up to the point where you finish the course and then you never feel like playing it again. Exercise Time: 2 minutes, Calories Burned: 5, “I am concerned about any video games where bees are your mortal enemy.”
Basic Run Plus: The last game is yet another remake from the original version, which shows that they are completely lying about having new material. Here you run in place while your Mii runs outside on a path following a cat. I am not making this up; your guide is a kitty cat. Now I have known a few cats in my time and the last thing I would consider any of them to be is good jogging partners. Also, I was chided at for running too fast to start and then told I did not work hard enough when I finished. Seriously, if you want me to work out let me work out. Exercise Time: 2 minutes, Calories Burned: 10, “I still don’t understand why you don’t go outside and run.”
Final Tally: 17 minutes and 66 calories. Nothing close to a workout but more enjoyable than the first batch of games. The basic way to look at the Wii Fit franchise is that it will not make you an athlete but can probably help you keep your shape. Things like the yoga and strength training exercises are very good and will get you working. It is a really fun game though and I’ve been using it for two months now and anything that can hold my interest for that long has to be entertaining.
Obstacle Course: This is probably the most disappointing of all of the mini-games. It promises to be a real life, first person Super Mario Brothers. Run! Dodge swinging medicine balls like in the original American Gladiators! Jump! Well, try to jump because you can’t actually jump on the balance board without breaking it and the squat to jump action doesn’t work for me at all. I might jump, I might not, there is no rhyme or reason to it. Makes for a horrible experience and leaves me hoping for an American Gladiators video game. And the one with Nitro not that damn Wolf version. Exercise Time: 2 minutes, Calories Burned: 10, “Ooh, watch out for Bowser!”
Tilt City: Probably my favorite game of the whole bunch even though it really has no exercise component to it. Well, maybe that is the reason but hear me out. You hold the Wiimote in your hands while on the balance board and have to shift your hands and your balance to help guide colored balls into the correct buckets. Think of it as a giant game of Plinko with you controlling the plinks. For someone like me who has no coordination this is actually a fun, challenging exercise that helps me get my upper body, lower body and brain all working in sync. It probably looks silly but it is beneficial. Exercise Time: 2 minutes, Calories Burned: 5, “Shake that moneymaker.”
Rhythm Parade: Finally, an activity for those of us who feel that Advanced Step is not embarrassing enough. Now you get to be your very own drum major leading a parade. My fist problem is that I have to march in time with the rhythm, which requires that I, well, have rhythm. Also, the outfit your character is wearing is less than appealing. As you march you have to lift your arms in the air at the proper times to build a larger band. So all you do is march and fling your hands around wildly for a few minutes. You don’t even get to do that cool Penn State standing flip at the end. Well, I try to pull it off but it isn’t really recommended. Exercise Time: 3 minutes, Calories Burned: 17, “So how was that time at Band Camp?”
Big Top Juggling: I have made it clear in the past that one of my goals in life is to learn how to juggle. Well now I can learn how to juggle without having to actually juggle and I get to do it while standing on top of a ball! Or at least that is what my Mii is doing in this game that works on balance and hand eye coordination. This is another one that is more entertaining than it should be as I am really striving to improve my technique. That is what the Wii is best at, every once in a while you come across a game that you just want to conquer. Exercise Time: 2 minutes, Calories Burned: 7, “This would be so much cooler if it involved chainsaws.”
Skateboard Arena: Thankfully the typical synthetic pop is replaced in this game by Avril Lavigne’s “Sk8ter Boi”. Pretty basic as your goal is to skate around an arena, hitting objects for points and performing tricks. Steering is by leaning forward and back or, in my case, running into walls and hoping it points you in the right direction. Not too bad but nothing too memorable. Put this one in the category of “at least you aren’t embarrassed by it.” Still can’t touch the best skating game ever: “Skate or Die” on the Commodore 64. Exercise Time: 2 minutes, Calories Burned: 7 calories, “Where’s Poochie?”
Table Tilt Plus: A remake of a game from the original Wii Fit, which was a remake of Marble Madness to begin with. Using the balance board you move your marbles (and no, that is not meant to be a sexual innuendo) from one side of the board to the other avoiding the obstacles in the way. Another good game and one that teaches fine body control. Again, you aren’t going to become an athlete by doing this game but you might get a better sense of balance and given the challenges that I have staying upright that is a good thing. Exercise Time: 2 minutes, Calories Burned: 5, “This would be much cooler as pinball.”
Balance Bubble Plus: Another remake of a game with this one being the boy in the bubble without the whole John Travolta movie connections. In a game that never quite made much sense from a plot perspective you are in a bubble that must go through this winding river without touching the sides causing the bubble to burst. No, I do not understand how a bubble could withstand my weight but brushing up against a twig would break it. Enjoyable up to the point where you finish the course and then you never feel like playing it again. Exercise Time: 2 minutes, Calories Burned: 5, “I am concerned about any video games where bees are your mortal enemy.”
Basic Run Plus: The last game is yet another remake from the original version, which shows that they are completely lying about having new material. Here you run in place while your Mii runs outside on a path following a cat. I am not making this up; your guide is a kitty cat. Now I have known a few cats in my time and the last thing I would consider any of them to be is good jogging partners. Also, I was chided at for running too fast to start and then told I did not work hard enough when I finished. Seriously, if you want me to work out let me work out. Exercise Time: 2 minutes, Calories Burned: 10, “I still don’t understand why you don’t go outside and run.”
Final Tally: 17 minutes and 66 calories. Nothing close to a workout but more enjoyable than the first batch of games. The basic way to look at the Wii Fit franchise is that it will not make you an athlete but can probably help you keep your shape. Things like the yoga and strength training exercises are very good and will get you working. It is a really fun game though and I’ve been using it for two months now and anything that can hold my interest for that long has to be entertaining.
Wednesday, October 07, 2009
Exercise for the virtual age
As many people know I am in the process of trying to lose some weight and get down to a more healthy level of chubbiness. In my attempt to try any and all paths to reach this goal I have enlisted my Nintendo Wii in my battle against the bulge. Specifically, I am a “proud” user of Wii Fit. Well, on Sunday I picked up Wii Fit Plus and I thought that it would be good to review the new mini-games that are included in the package. Each game will be scored based on number of minutes per exercise, calories my fat ass burns doing the exercise and what a random person would say if they walked into the room while you were doing it.
Advanced Step: This isn’t a new exercise but I start off all of my workouts with it so I thought that I would include it. This is essentially step aerobics using a rather small step. Hence, it is mainly step up, step down, step to the side, kick your leg in the air, clap and generally look like an idiot. This is all done to the most annoying computerized song that will haunt you for the rest of your life. Honestly, I will be in the middle of a meeting at work and the song will enter my brain. Despite all of this (and the fact that I have no rhythm and trip constantly under normal circumstances) I have worked my butt off to be an expert at this one. Exercise Time: 5 minutes, Calories Burned: 28, “Dude, how is Richard Simmons doing nowadays?”
Perfect 10: Finally, a video game that combines my two favorite things: basic math and thrusting my hips in various directions. Here is the point of the game: your avatar is surrounded by numbers and you must thrust your hips in the appropriate directions to light up the numbers so that they add up to ten. Given that I have blogged my life for five years I obviously have no shame but even being alone and doing this is embarrassing as hell. Plus, it would be cooler if it involved calculus. Exercise Time: 1 minute, Calories Burned: 4, “Oh yeah! Duffman thrusting in the general direction!”
Island Cycling: This one wasn’t actually that bad. To bike you walk in place on the balance board and steer using the Wiimote. You ride around the island (same one from Wii Sports Resort) and go through checkpoints. Not entirely the most exciting game in existence but it does actually get your heart rate up. Plus, for part of the ride you are joined by your Virtual Dog and I am just a sucker for virtual pets. Exercise Time: 4 minutes, Calories Burned: 14, “So let me get this straight. You are pretending to bicycle in paradise by walking in place in your apartment?”
Rhythm Kung Fu: I had such high hopes for this one. Rhythm Boxing was my favorite part of the original Wii Fit and the only one that made me feel like I was actually working out. This one just sucks big time. Technically you are supposed to punch and kick in time with your character. Problem is exactly what you are supposed to do isn’t clear, the timing is even less obvious and throwing one punch every twenty seconds isn’t much of a workout. When the first words that come to your mind in describing an exercise are “boring and confusing” something is horribly wrong. Plus, the whole thing has this David Carradine vibe and I just don’t need to be thinking about embarrassing bondage deaths while I work out. Exercise Time: 2 minutes, Calories Burned: 12, “At what point do you get to beat up ninjas?”
Driving Range: I am still working on my opinion on this one. Here, the Wiimote and Balance Board allow you to take some swings on a virtual driving range. This could actually prove quite useful as it tracks your center of balance and your swing and could conceivably help your golf game. There are some problems though. One is that I’ve been chastised for swinging the Wiimote to hard, which makes it tough to accurately replicate my normal swing. More importantly is that it is impossible to hold the Wiimote with two hands like a golf club. I finally went back to the way my dad first taught me to swing a club and that was by just using my left hand. That seemed to work out much better. It might not be perfect but it is an interesting way to spend your time. Exercise Time: 5 minutes, Calories Burned: 25, “Wow, even the computer version of you slices every single shot.”
Segway Circuit: So, in this instance you exercise by imagining that you are on a machine that requires you to use no muscle groups whatsoever. The fact that I do this instead of working out on the treadmill that is in my own building or, you know, run outside is beyond me. Anyway, you lean forward and back to drive, steer with the Wiimote and try to hit beach balls before they are destroyed by a giant mechanical gopher. Yeah, I don’t get it either. Exercise Time: 3 minutes, Calories Burned: 8, “At what point did leaning forward officially become labeled as exercise?”
Bird’s Eye Bulls Eye: This game is fun, challenging and horribly embarrassing starting from the moment you see that your Mii is in a bird costume. The idea here is that you flap your arms up and down to fly (on the screen, not in real life, though I probably didn’t need to explain that), lean to steer and try to land on targets as opposed to, I don’t know, doing other bird associated activities. Like fly into windows or congregate on statues. You will feel this in your arms but there is no way that flapping your arms in the middle of a room does not make you look like an idiot. Exercise Time: 2 minutes, Calories Burned: 7, “You really laid an egg with that score. Get it? Laid an egg?”
Snowball Fight: So one of the things about the Wii is that each person creates a Mii to represent themselves. This is cool that these other Miis appear in the game with you. Thus, in this game I get to hit Virtual Kim with a snowball. This is the only time I expect to ever experience that event as a) she wisely lives in Florida and b) I would much prefer it if Real Kim remained my Real Girlfriend. The entirety of this game consists of leaning to the side and pointing the remote at the screen. Seriously, it has the same level of difficulty as standing up to change the channel. Exercise Time: 2 minutes, Calories Burned: 5, “You probably didn’t need to put on all your workout gear if you were just going to stand up.”
Total: 24 minutes and 103 calories. That said, I can in no way call that a real workout. On a treadmill in that same time I would be well over 200 calories and even running to nowhere is more fulfilling than some of these. Still, they are kind of fun at times and part of the point is that they are stupid.
Tomorrrow, the remaining eight games. Including the wonder that is Rhythm Parade.
Advanced Step: This isn’t a new exercise but I start off all of my workouts with it so I thought that I would include it. This is essentially step aerobics using a rather small step. Hence, it is mainly step up, step down, step to the side, kick your leg in the air, clap and generally look like an idiot. This is all done to the most annoying computerized song that will haunt you for the rest of your life. Honestly, I will be in the middle of a meeting at work and the song will enter my brain. Despite all of this (and the fact that I have no rhythm and trip constantly under normal circumstances) I have worked my butt off to be an expert at this one. Exercise Time: 5 minutes, Calories Burned: 28, “Dude, how is Richard Simmons doing nowadays?”
Perfect 10: Finally, a video game that combines my two favorite things: basic math and thrusting my hips in various directions. Here is the point of the game: your avatar is surrounded by numbers and you must thrust your hips in the appropriate directions to light up the numbers so that they add up to ten. Given that I have blogged my life for five years I obviously have no shame but even being alone and doing this is embarrassing as hell. Plus, it would be cooler if it involved calculus. Exercise Time: 1 minute, Calories Burned: 4, “Oh yeah! Duffman thrusting in the general direction!”
Island Cycling: This one wasn’t actually that bad. To bike you walk in place on the balance board and steer using the Wiimote. You ride around the island (same one from Wii Sports Resort) and go through checkpoints. Not entirely the most exciting game in existence but it does actually get your heart rate up. Plus, for part of the ride you are joined by your Virtual Dog and I am just a sucker for virtual pets. Exercise Time: 4 minutes, Calories Burned: 14, “So let me get this straight. You are pretending to bicycle in paradise by walking in place in your apartment?”
Rhythm Kung Fu: I had such high hopes for this one. Rhythm Boxing was my favorite part of the original Wii Fit and the only one that made me feel like I was actually working out. This one just sucks big time. Technically you are supposed to punch and kick in time with your character. Problem is exactly what you are supposed to do isn’t clear, the timing is even less obvious and throwing one punch every twenty seconds isn’t much of a workout. When the first words that come to your mind in describing an exercise are “boring and confusing” something is horribly wrong. Plus, the whole thing has this David Carradine vibe and I just don’t need to be thinking about embarrassing bondage deaths while I work out. Exercise Time: 2 minutes, Calories Burned: 12, “At what point do you get to beat up ninjas?”
Driving Range: I am still working on my opinion on this one. Here, the Wiimote and Balance Board allow you to take some swings on a virtual driving range. This could actually prove quite useful as it tracks your center of balance and your swing and could conceivably help your golf game. There are some problems though. One is that I’ve been chastised for swinging the Wiimote to hard, which makes it tough to accurately replicate my normal swing. More importantly is that it is impossible to hold the Wiimote with two hands like a golf club. I finally went back to the way my dad first taught me to swing a club and that was by just using my left hand. That seemed to work out much better. It might not be perfect but it is an interesting way to spend your time. Exercise Time: 5 minutes, Calories Burned: 25, “Wow, even the computer version of you slices every single shot.”
Segway Circuit: So, in this instance you exercise by imagining that you are on a machine that requires you to use no muscle groups whatsoever. The fact that I do this instead of working out on the treadmill that is in my own building or, you know, run outside is beyond me. Anyway, you lean forward and back to drive, steer with the Wiimote and try to hit beach balls before they are destroyed by a giant mechanical gopher. Yeah, I don’t get it either. Exercise Time: 3 minutes, Calories Burned: 8, “At what point did leaning forward officially become labeled as exercise?”
Bird’s Eye Bulls Eye: This game is fun, challenging and horribly embarrassing starting from the moment you see that your Mii is in a bird costume. The idea here is that you flap your arms up and down to fly (on the screen, not in real life, though I probably didn’t need to explain that), lean to steer and try to land on targets as opposed to, I don’t know, doing other bird associated activities. Like fly into windows or congregate on statues. You will feel this in your arms but there is no way that flapping your arms in the middle of a room does not make you look like an idiot. Exercise Time: 2 minutes, Calories Burned: 7, “You really laid an egg with that score. Get it? Laid an egg?”
Snowball Fight: So one of the things about the Wii is that each person creates a Mii to represent themselves. This is cool that these other Miis appear in the game with you. Thus, in this game I get to hit Virtual Kim with a snowball. This is the only time I expect to ever experience that event as a) she wisely lives in Florida and b) I would much prefer it if Real Kim remained my Real Girlfriend. The entirety of this game consists of leaning to the side and pointing the remote at the screen. Seriously, it has the same level of difficulty as standing up to change the channel. Exercise Time: 2 minutes, Calories Burned: 5, “You probably didn’t need to put on all your workout gear if you were just going to stand up.”
Total: 24 minutes and 103 calories. That said, I can in no way call that a real workout. On a treadmill in that same time I would be well over 200 calories and even running to nowhere is more fulfilling than some of these. Still, they are kind of fun at times and part of the point is that they are stupid.
Tomorrrow, the remaining eight games. Including the wonder that is Rhythm Parade.
Tuesday, October 06, 2009
Return to the Blue Lagoon
Thought I would share some stories about my visit with Kim to the Blue Lagoon.
Iceland’s primary tourist attraction is the Blue Lagoon, which is rather interesting given that thirty years ago the place didn’t even exist. This obviously requires some explanation and not surprisingly power plants are involved. Iceland gets most of its electricity through geothermal plants and typically they use the water involved for hot water for houses. Well, the water from this one plant was too salty for domestic use so they just made a lagoon out of this volcanic region and just pumped the water in there. In doing so they created this wonderful, one hundred degree lake filled with blue mineral water. After a few people started swimming in it they realized what they had done and built a spa around it. So now it is the one place in Iceland that everyone visits.
There are a few interesting experiences before you even get to the lagoon. When you check in you get a wristband that acts as the key to your locker and a virtual wallet for when you are inside the spa. Very useful and much appreciated. Then you are asked if you need to rent a towel (which I did as I neglected to take the words of Douglas Adams to heart.) Also, if necessary you can rent a swimsuit. Now, on the list of things that I wish to rent in my life a swimsuit has to be at the absolute bottom of the list. I don’t care what type of laundry service you provide that just seems rather nasty. Plus, given the number of speedos I saw on display I really don’t want to know what you would get.
Once you go inside the locker room to change you are informed that you must shower before entering the pool. This doesn’t sound too interesting until you see the signs that highlight in great detail what particular body parts must specifically be washed. I mean, you see a picture of a body and arrows and everything. Add to that you are in a communal shower with a significant number of large Germans with various bits flopping around and it makes for a rather interesting experience. (For the record, they may not have been German but I have decided that every foreign language is German for the sake of convenience.)
It is now time to enter the lagoon itself. For this you go outside into the 45 degree air with a good 20 mile per hour breeze whipping across this barren volcanic landscape. It is like you are on the surface of the moon except that the rocks are darker. The cold just sucks the air right out of you as you drop off your towel and flip flops and walk stiff-legged as the cold has frozen your joints solid. You somehow make it to the pool itself and step in and….
Release the biggest sigh of your life. Nothing has ever felt as good as getting out of the cold air and into what is just the nicest, warmest bath of your life. The water is so salty that you just naturally float in it. You don’t even swim; you just kind of hover around in a search for a spot that is just the right level of warmth for you (they move about so it is a thrill when you stumble upon one.) There are waterfalls to experience and mud masks to wear but just the joy of being in the water was amazing. Plus, since we were at the end of tourist season it wasn’t too crowded so at times Kim and I seemed to have the entire place to ourselves, which made it seem ultra-romantic.
Making things even better was the fact that they served beer. There were two small problems with this though. 1) You had to go inside for the beer, which meant getting out of the pool and walking into the cold. It was one of the most painful experiences of my life. You know how you feel so heavy when you get out of a normal pool? Double that and give yourself hypothermia in the process. If anyplace needed a floating bar it is this one. 2) They impose a three drink maximum per person. This seemed tragically small as we probably would have stayed there drinking until we were forced out. I assume that they have a good reason for it (you do dehydrate like mad and it does keep people from, uh, puking) but it cost us a bit of enjoyment.
This was easily one of the highlights of the trip. We stayed in the water for hours, just floating around and laughing and enjoying the fact that it was windy and rainy and just horrible outside to the point that the lifeguards were wearing heavy winter jackets. We didn’t care about anything else in the world. We just enjoyed the moment. If there is anything more you can ask of from a vacation I don’t know what it is.
Iceland’s primary tourist attraction is the Blue Lagoon, which is rather interesting given that thirty years ago the place didn’t even exist. This obviously requires some explanation and not surprisingly power plants are involved. Iceland gets most of its electricity through geothermal plants and typically they use the water involved for hot water for houses. Well, the water from this one plant was too salty for domestic use so they just made a lagoon out of this volcanic region and just pumped the water in there. In doing so they created this wonderful, one hundred degree lake filled with blue mineral water. After a few people started swimming in it they realized what they had done and built a spa around it. So now it is the one place in Iceland that everyone visits.
There are a few interesting experiences before you even get to the lagoon. When you check in you get a wristband that acts as the key to your locker and a virtual wallet for when you are inside the spa. Very useful and much appreciated. Then you are asked if you need to rent a towel (which I did as I neglected to take the words of Douglas Adams to heart.) Also, if necessary you can rent a swimsuit. Now, on the list of things that I wish to rent in my life a swimsuit has to be at the absolute bottom of the list. I don’t care what type of laundry service you provide that just seems rather nasty. Plus, given the number of speedos I saw on display I really don’t want to know what you would get.
Once you go inside the locker room to change you are informed that you must shower before entering the pool. This doesn’t sound too interesting until you see the signs that highlight in great detail what particular body parts must specifically be washed. I mean, you see a picture of a body and arrows and everything. Add to that you are in a communal shower with a significant number of large Germans with various bits flopping around and it makes for a rather interesting experience. (For the record, they may not have been German but I have decided that every foreign language is German for the sake of convenience.)
It is now time to enter the lagoon itself. For this you go outside into the 45 degree air with a good 20 mile per hour breeze whipping across this barren volcanic landscape. It is like you are on the surface of the moon except that the rocks are darker. The cold just sucks the air right out of you as you drop off your towel and flip flops and walk stiff-legged as the cold has frozen your joints solid. You somehow make it to the pool itself and step in and….
Release the biggest sigh of your life. Nothing has ever felt as good as getting out of the cold air and into what is just the nicest, warmest bath of your life. The water is so salty that you just naturally float in it. You don’t even swim; you just kind of hover around in a search for a spot that is just the right level of warmth for you (they move about so it is a thrill when you stumble upon one.) There are waterfalls to experience and mud masks to wear but just the joy of being in the water was amazing. Plus, since we were at the end of tourist season it wasn’t too crowded so at times Kim and I seemed to have the entire place to ourselves, which made it seem ultra-romantic.
Making things even better was the fact that they served beer. There were two small problems with this though. 1) You had to go inside for the beer, which meant getting out of the pool and walking into the cold. It was one of the most painful experiences of my life. You know how you feel so heavy when you get out of a normal pool? Double that and give yourself hypothermia in the process. If anyplace needed a floating bar it is this one. 2) They impose a three drink maximum per person. This seemed tragically small as we probably would have stayed there drinking until we were forced out. I assume that they have a good reason for it (you do dehydrate like mad and it does keep people from, uh, puking) but it cost us a bit of enjoyment.
This was easily one of the highlights of the trip. We stayed in the water for hours, just floating around and laughing and enjoying the fact that it was windy and rainy and just horrible outside to the point that the lifeguards were wearing heavy winter jackets. We didn’t care about anything else in the world. We just enjoyed the moment. If there is anything more you can ask of from a vacation I don’t know what it is.
Monday, October 05, 2009
I'm sure they meant well
From the category “Well meaning endeavors that can really be misinterpreted” I would like to give props to the NFL for honoring Breast Cancer Awareness Month. Or, as Chris Berman said on ESPN on Sunday “Breast Awareness Month.” Also, while it is in some ways touching that the players are wearing pink sweatbands and gloves along with baseball caps tinged with pink it should be noted that no NFL team uniform colors were chosen under the idea that they would go very well with pink. Finally, while I again support the Vikings cheerleaders in their choice to wear hot pink tops the fact that we are raising breast cancer awareness by focusing on body parts that are ninety percent plastic is a little concerning.
(Basically what I am saying here is I am very happy that the NFL is raising money for cancer research but this seems a little heavy handed and misplaced.)
Saw a commercial for what has to be one of the most disturbing products ever over the weekend. It was a cupcake mold. We’re not talking your typical cupcake mold here. We are talking one that appeared to be the size of my Castle Greyskull playset that I had as a kid. For all I know the cupcake mold comes with a drawbridge, elevator and trap door. This thing is massive. The announcer talked about how sweet it would be to make cupcakes for all of your friends without mentioning that besides giving them a delectable treat you would probably be giving them diabetes as well. It is one of those times where you turn away from the TV and go “and I wonder why half the country is obese.”
Also, is it strange for me to think that the coolest aspect of the new Wii Fit Plus is that you can weigh your dog and thus have your dog as a character in the game? I don’t even have a dog but I am going to make one up just so that I can have a virtual pet. I mean, it is not like I would ever be trusted with an actual living creature. I wouldn’t even trust me with a plant.
Not much else to write about tonight. I seem to be spending much of my life in airports and it only appears to be getting worse over the next month or so. Not that I don’t mind getting out of Delaware; it is a treat to get out especially to see the woman of my dreams. Just that airports and planes always seem to suck the life out of me and I always end up feeling like I have some sort of cold. Hopefully a good night’s sleep will do the trick.
(Basically what I am saying here is I am very happy that the NFL is raising money for cancer research but this seems a little heavy handed and misplaced.)
Saw a commercial for what has to be one of the most disturbing products ever over the weekend. It was a cupcake mold. We’re not talking your typical cupcake mold here. We are talking one that appeared to be the size of my Castle Greyskull playset that I had as a kid. For all I know the cupcake mold comes with a drawbridge, elevator and trap door. This thing is massive. The announcer talked about how sweet it would be to make cupcakes for all of your friends without mentioning that besides giving them a delectable treat you would probably be giving them diabetes as well. It is one of those times where you turn away from the TV and go “and I wonder why half the country is obese.”
Also, is it strange for me to think that the coolest aspect of the new Wii Fit Plus is that you can weigh your dog and thus have your dog as a character in the game? I don’t even have a dog but I am going to make one up just so that I can have a virtual pet. I mean, it is not like I would ever be trusted with an actual living creature. I wouldn’t even trust me with a plant.
Not much else to write about tonight. I seem to be spending much of my life in airports and it only appears to be getting worse over the next month or so. Not that I don’t mind getting out of Delaware; it is a treat to get out especially to see the woman of my dreams. Just that airports and planes always seem to suck the life out of me and I always end up feeling like I have some sort of cold. Hopefully a good night’s sleep will do the trick.
Sunday, October 04, 2009
Corruption with a spicy twist
As I predicted, Rio won the rights to the 2016 Olympics. The people of Rio celebrated like it was…well…a typical Friday in Rio. I just assume that city is just like Disney World where there are parades every evening except that the magical light parade is replaced by one with half naked people. Oh, and there is just slightly more rampant crime and poverty than there is in Orlando. Not by much, though.
There are a lot of people looking to point blame in the fact that Chicago lost and lost big in their bid. They were eliminated in the first round after most people viewed them as the favorites. In essence, I’ll say that the Chicago bid showed a lack of cohesion with events being held in Wisconsin, a need for too many sites to be constructed and the fact that half of the city wasn’t behind the games probably killed the bid. Interestingly though, I think there was a bigger reason why Rio got the games.
I think that the Olympic committee really wanted to have a latin flavored games. Madrid and Rio were the top vote getters in every round. There hasn’t been an Olympics in a Spanish speaking country since Barcelona in 1992 and Mexico City in 1968 before that. Given the huge portion of the world that is Spanish speaking and how they have not been a focus of the Olympic marketing effort in the past I think that is one of the reasons that they were selected. Add in the fact that Rio is the same time zone as New York and you understand some other benefits.
Or maybe it was just the way that she dances on the sand.
Anyway, it is late as my flight got in early but traffic killed me in trying to get home. I’ll have some comments on football tomorrow as we all have to endure Favre-a-palooza.
The five random CDs for the week:
1) Ryan Adams “Demolition”
2) Cowboy Mouth “Are You With Me?”
3) Aimee Mann “The Forgotten Arm”
4) Liz Phair “Whitechocolatespaceegg”
5) The Freddy Jones Band “Waiting for the Night”
There are a lot of people looking to point blame in the fact that Chicago lost and lost big in their bid. They were eliminated in the first round after most people viewed them as the favorites. In essence, I’ll say that the Chicago bid showed a lack of cohesion with events being held in Wisconsin, a need for too many sites to be constructed and the fact that half of the city wasn’t behind the games probably killed the bid. Interestingly though, I think there was a bigger reason why Rio got the games.
I think that the Olympic committee really wanted to have a latin flavored games. Madrid and Rio were the top vote getters in every round. There hasn’t been an Olympics in a Spanish speaking country since Barcelona in 1992 and Mexico City in 1968 before that. Given the huge portion of the world that is Spanish speaking and how they have not been a focus of the Olympic marketing effort in the past I think that is one of the reasons that they were selected. Add in the fact that Rio is the same time zone as New York and you understand some other benefits.
Or maybe it was just the way that she dances on the sand.
Anyway, it is late as my flight got in early but traffic killed me in trying to get home. I’ll have some comments on football tomorrow as we all have to endure Favre-a-palooza.
The five random CDs for the week:
1) Ryan Adams “Demolition”
2) Cowboy Mouth “Are You With Me?”
3) Aimee Mann “The Forgotten Arm”
4) Liz Phair “Whitechocolatespaceegg”
5) The Freddy Jones Band “Waiting for the Night”
Thursday, October 01, 2009
Judging the olympic bids
They announce the host of the 2016 Olympics tomorrow and that is obviously a subject of interest given the strong possibility that Chicago might win the rights. I’m kind of torn as to how I feel about it so I might as well write up my thoughts and then tomorrow we can figure out if I am right or wrong.
(For those wondering, the 2010 games are in Vancouver, 2012 is in London and 2014 is in some two bit Russian town whose name I can’t recall offhand.)
As a sports fan and Olympics buff I would of course be thrilled to have the Olympics in my hometown. It would truly be a once in a lifetime moment and something absolutely spectacular. To have the eyes of the world on our skyline would be absolutely amazing. I know that I would make my way back to the city for at least part of the games and just soak up the amazing atmosphere. It would give the city some additional prestige and maybe cement the city as one of the greatest places in the world.
However, I have a hard time buying the idea just based on the fact that it would be really cool to have them. For one thing, the Olympics don’t mean nearly as much as they used to. Given infinite cable channels and year round sports seasons and the end of the cold war the Olympics just don’t carry as much weight as they used to. Before they were the only time every four years you would even be able to watch something like gymnastics. Now the meets are shown every other week. Plus, the thrill of the US versus the Soviets are gone and now the focus is on pro athletes who may or may not be on drugs. That innocent thrill of the Jim McKay era is gone.
I also don’t know if the Olympics really bring that much in terms of long term benefit to a city. True, tourism spikes during the games and maybe a little afterwards but are you planning a trip to Beijing or Torino at the moment? Yes, Barcelona made a name for itself but Atlanta pretty much ruined its rep. The best Olympics in recent memory was the Sydney games, which made me want to visit a city that I already wanted to visit. So there is that to consider.
Finally, there is the financial aspect. Basically, cities always lose money on the Olympics. You have to build aquatic centers and cycling tracks and a place for fencing competitions that will never be used again. It is really the curse of the games. Remember that awesome stadium in Beijing that was used for the ceremonies and track and field? It is sitting empty right now and costing the country a ton of money in the process. No matter what they say the games will go over budget and lose money, especially factoring in the typical Chicago corruption. I’m no longer a taxpayer there so I guess this shouldn’t worry me as much but on the whole it is still a big issue.
In the end that is what we are weighing. It would be super cool to have them but it really wouldn’t mean that much and we’d lose money on the deal. If Chicago doesn’t get them Rio will. I don’t know why but I really have a feeling that Rio will get the games just so they can finally be held in South America. Maybe it would be a blessing in disguise for the city if that happened.
(For those wondering, the 2010 games are in Vancouver, 2012 is in London and 2014 is in some two bit Russian town whose name I can’t recall offhand.)
As a sports fan and Olympics buff I would of course be thrilled to have the Olympics in my hometown. It would truly be a once in a lifetime moment and something absolutely spectacular. To have the eyes of the world on our skyline would be absolutely amazing. I know that I would make my way back to the city for at least part of the games and just soak up the amazing atmosphere. It would give the city some additional prestige and maybe cement the city as one of the greatest places in the world.
However, I have a hard time buying the idea just based on the fact that it would be really cool to have them. For one thing, the Olympics don’t mean nearly as much as they used to. Given infinite cable channels and year round sports seasons and the end of the cold war the Olympics just don’t carry as much weight as they used to. Before they were the only time every four years you would even be able to watch something like gymnastics. Now the meets are shown every other week. Plus, the thrill of the US versus the Soviets are gone and now the focus is on pro athletes who may or may not be on drugs. That innocent thrill of the Jim McKay era is gone.
I also don’t know if the Olympics really bring that much in terms of long term benefit to a city. True, tourism spikes during the games and maybe a little afterwards but are you planning a trip to Beijing or Torino at the moment? Yes, Barcelona made a name for itself but Atlanta pretty much ruined its rep. The best Olympics in recent memory was the Sydney games, which made me want to visit a city that I already wanted to visit. So there is that to consider.
Finally, there is the financial aspect. Basically, cities always lose money on the Olympics. You have to build aquatic centers and cycling tracks and a place for fencing competitions that will never be used again. It is really the curse of the games. Remember that awesome stadium in Beijing that was used for the ceremonies and track and field? It is sitting empty right now and costing the country a ton of money in the process. No matter what they say the games will go over budget and lose money, especially factoring in the typical Chicago corruption. I’m no longer a taxpayer there so I guess this shouldn’t worry me as much but on the whole it is still a big issue.
In the end that is what we are weighing. It would be super cool to have them but it really wouldn’t mean that much and we’d lose money on the deal. If Chicago doesn’t get them Rio will. I don’t know why but I really have a feeling that Rio will get the games just so they can finally be held in South America. Maybe it would be a blessing in disguise for the city if that happened.
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