Reviewing The Fatchelor

As most people know I am a huge fan of reality shows. However, I have for the most part avoided the dating shows because, well, a) I’m a guy and b) they tend to be so contrived that I can’t stand them. Still, I have watched more than my fair share of episodes and this brings me to Fox’s latest contribution to the genre. Ladies and gentlemen, let me present to you my review of More to Love or as I prefer to refer to it, The Fatchelor.

(Before anyone gets on me for that title please note that this show actually was originally titled “The Fatchelor.” Apparently the producers felt that “Chubby Chaser” gave the wrong image. Plus, given that Wii Fit officially pronounced me as “Tubby” I am in no shape to make fat jokes. Literally.)

The show is literally a direct take on The Bachelor, which shouldn’t come as much of a surprise given that the same guy made both shows. So the setup is familiar: twenty women compete for the unending love of one man through a series of dates and rather cruel elimination ceremonies. Typically drama arises from the infighting and cattiness between the contestants and humor abounds as the women seem to forget that they are on a game show and act as if he is really their boyfriend. The only difference is that this show features contestants who are deemed to be plus sized. Not unattractive to be sure, but just on the larger end of the scale and that is what makes this show a bit of a struggle to watch. But not for the reason that you would suspect.

See, part of the joy of watching a show like The Bachelor and to an even greater extent Rock of Love is that you get to sit at home and completely ridicule the contestants. I believe I once described Rock of Love as “skanks on parade” because let’s face it that is what you get when you have a bunch of strippers competing for the love of Bret Michaels. Most of the show is schadenfreude as you laugh at the women losing out on a love that you know they never believed in with a guy they just met. Plus, it’s not like they couldn’t just walk into a bar and pick up a guy. Maybe not the perfect guy but odds are most of those ladies won’t have to worry about spending Friday night alone.

But on More to Love the contestants are totally real. These are women who have had to deal with the stigma of being overweight and having society view them as unattractive. For one, her first date was on the show (if you can call something with six other women and a camera crew present a date.) For many this is the first time in a long time that they feel the possibility for romance exists. This would be sweet except for the fact that the show is still completely contrived. We have Luke trying to kiss as many of the girls as possible within the first 24 hours and smiling as woman after woman tells him how he feels that she is his soulmate. They’ve been in each other’s presence for a matter of hours and some of these women are already ordering china patterns. On The Bachelor this is funny. On More to Love it is kind of sad.

It also doesn’t help that Luke seems to be a total douche. I mean, the guy has absolutely no personality at all and doesn’t seem to be that much fun to be with. I want to tell the contestants that they can all get a better guy than him. They really shouldn’t feel the need to settle at 23.

That is another one of the problems that I have with the show is that it just plays on how low the women’s collective self esteem is. Most of the contestants are in their early twenties and they seem almost resigned that love is not for them which is amazing given that they haven’t even lived yet. I am certain that some people found the love of their life at 22 and immediately got married and raised a family but that isn’t the be all and end all of life. I certainly didn’t follow that path and am more than happy that I made my own way as tough as it was at times. Instead of laughing or cheering you want to go “There, there” or “You really shouldn’t try to justify your self worth through an appearance on a game show.”

Notice that they did not do this from the other gender perspective. In fact, the only show that I can think of that does it in reverse is The Pick Up Artist and that is not exactly the same. First of all, having Matador on the show changes the entire paradigm. But the entire purpose of The Pick Up Artist isn’t for a group of geeks to meet the woman of their dreams and get married. The purpose is to get them to the point that they can talk to a woman in a bar without throwing up. The rejection is more general. Mystery tells you that you are not worthy of a medallion as opposed to Luke telling you that he doesn’t want to marry you. It is a rather big difference.

Love is a strange and mysterious beast. Relationships may be even stranger. Just remember that if you are ever on a reality show that nothing around you is real. And that if you are interesting enough to have a casting director select you for the show you are talented enough to get a date on your own.

Wednesday Night Music Club: Let’s relax with the Jayhawks. And Mary Louise Parker.