Given that I seem to have lost the plot in my own life, it shouldn’t be a surprise that I’m reduced to talking in bullet points. Has anyone seen a protagonist around here? There used to be one. The female lead has been missing for a while as well but I think she made her way to a better story. Hell, could I at least borrow some Cliff Notes so I could figure out what I should have known by now?
Topic # 1: Thanks to the wonders of Tivo, I now just record 120 Minutes on VH-1 Classic every week and watch it whenever there is no good reality television on. It’s a much nicer way of doing it as I don’t have to stay up until one in the morning on Sundays anymore and I get to fast forward past the really bad, early era Depeche Mode videos. They really did not age well. I do wonder who is programming this show as the same videos seem to be shown week after week. Either they are literally just showing the same videos every week or the guy who programs it is a really, really big fan of Fishbone. I’ve seen more Fishbone videos in the past month than I saw in my entire MTV viewing life.
(Oh, and could I apply for the job of 120 Minutes programmer for VH-1 Classic? That has to be up there with my old dream of getting paid to sit around and watch ESPN Classic all day, which sadly now features poker, rodeo and bowling and not even American Gladiators can make up for that. Sure, I’ll be forced to play U2 and R.E.M. videos for popularity’s sake and The Smiths for people who wear black all the time but imagine what my playlist would be like. Hell, I just want to see Jawbox, Ned’s Atomic Dustbin and Poster Children back on the air.)
Topic # 2: After looking in the mirror recently and deciding “Wow, I am seriously, seriously out of shape” I’ve restarted my exercise program. What that means is that after day one of a really tame workout every single part of my body aches. That’s how out of shape I am, just doing simple squats and lunges makes moving the next day a challenge. The good news is that my bad arm isn’t hurting from lifting. The bad news is that my good arm is, which makes life slightly more challenging. The good news is that it is all good pain, in that my muscles are sore, and since I start from such a low point I get to see progress quickly. Like just finishing a workout as a victory.
(Yeah, I should just buy a Wii and consider that to be exercise. Not playing it, mind you, just going to the store to purchase it will be enough challenge for me. Eh, I’ll just buy it on Amazon…)
Topic # 3: I’ve finally started watching Big Brother, which is my usual summer guilty pleasure. I skipped the first week, when there tends to be a lot of people who I don’t know talking, and moved straight to the point where we have alliances and heroes and villains. On the latter, dear God is Jen the most annoying reality contestant in recent memory. She’s dumb, cruel and thinks that she is hot stuff when she really isn’t that attractive. She won’t last unless she lands in an alliance that keeps control. At least I hope they get rid of her, she makes me want to throw things at my tv.
My other initial thought is that we have another potential showmance starting between Danielle and that bulky dude with the bad tattoo. This is one of those interesting storylines that always seem to arise on reality shows. Put people in a house for two weeks and inevitably you have one guy professing his undying love to someone he had never met before. This says something about the male psyche, mainly that it just doesn’t work properly. It’s always nice to watch the girl nod politely while slowly backing away, signaling to the camera crew to get ready to tackle the guy. As always, one must employ the Tao in relationships. It’s really the only proven way to success.
(Or, as I once answered the question on when do you call the girl back: wait until you feel that if you don’t call her now your head will explode and then give it another twenty four hours. It is a surprisingly successful, and much less embarrassing, tactic.)
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