Maybe we could bring back the stockcades...

There is just no justice in this world. Not even within the criminal justice system. How the hell did they let Paris Hilton out of jail? Don’t they understand the threat that she poses to society? All of this work, all of this effort to put her behind bars so that we can film the best women in prison movie ever all goes away in a matter of days. It is just sad.

Personally, I like the fact that the official explanation is “medical reasons”, which is rumored to be that she was refusing to eat the prison food. I should remember that, it may prove useful in the future. It’s great logic, “Welcome to jail” “I don’t like the food here, can I go home?” “Sure.” The other thought was that she had broken out in a huge rash though that could possibly be the shock of her seeing her actual skin without three inches of makeup on it. She’s someone I wouldn’t touch without wearing a hazmat suit.

(Now my beloved Lindsay, on the other hand, is someone I would welcome with open arms. Especially since she has occasionally left rehab to workout. That’s the type of devotion that I like to see in someone, screw the group session I need to do pilates. Also, there is no truth to the rumor that I am forming a rescue party in which we will all be equipped with bolt cutters and bottles of peppermint schnapps. But as a proud member of the Lindsay Liberation Front I just have to ask for her to stay strong. We’ll still make sure her 21st birthday will be off the hook.)

Hey, did anyone notice that the Mighty Ducks won the Stanley Cup? Anyone? Ok, anyone other than Emilio Estevez, who is probably sleeping on his dad’s couch right now. I don’t know what is worse, a) the fact that no one paid attention to the Stanley Cup, b) that I didn’t even bother watching hockey due to it being on Vs. or c) that freaking Anaheim gets a Stanley Cup before the Blackhawks. They don’t even have ice in Anaheim. I think they practice in the same place they keep Walt Disney. The only good thing about the hockey playoffs is that it led Vs. to show Youngblood three thousand times and there is nothing better than the second best hockey movie ever made. Well, I guess that would technically make Slapshot better but still, Rob Lowe and Patrick Swayze running the power play is a sight to behold.

Vs. is a rather strange network. Right now they are showing all of the America’s Cup qualifying races. The Americans (mainly that prick who runs Oracle) have all been eliminated and therefore we will not be able to reclaim the cup from the evil Swiss. Yes, the America’s Cup is currently held by Switzerland, a nation that has no access to water to speak of. We have two oceans and we can’t even beat the freaking Swiss. That’s just sad.

That’s it for this week. Have a fun weekend everyone.