Mustard: Always the Best Choice

At some point I am going to have to determine whether it is really worth winning twenty bucks at trivia by knowing that the sequel to the game Maniac Mansion was called Day of the Tentacle. It doesn’t show a bar full of people that I am the smartest person around. It just convinces them that I never got out much as a child. Now I’ve embraced my inner geekdom to the point that the casting agents at Beauty and the Geek have decided that I wouldn’t work on the show because I already get the joke. Still, I wonder what pride one can take for remembering every game that was ever produced for the Commodore 64.

(That said, the best news that I heard today was that they have given the go-ahead to make a Thundercats movie. Finally. If they are going to bring back every franchise, hell if they are going to make a Ghost Rider movie, how can you not make a Thundercats movie. I’ll already place The Rock in the role of Panthro though I’m not sure who should play Cheetara. The entire movie will rest on that casting. That and making sure that Mumm-Ra kicks all kinds of ass.)

Ok, so I was out on Sunday night and I saw something that I’ll just have to try to explain. Two women were walking towards me and one had ketchup on her shirt. Not the condiment but the actual word “Ketchup” printed across her chest in red letters. Those of you who are familiar with Kansas City will know that this is a t-shirt given out at select Royals games in honor of the hot dog race, where you cheer the hot dog with the condiment of your choice. The hot dog race is typically the highlight of a Royals game and also goes to prove that only morons pick relish.

That said, while it is cool in a post-modern ironic way to get a shirt that says “Ketchup” on it, I’m not sure if it falls into the category of funny on a Sunday afternoon. At that point you are showing the world just how proud you are of tomato paste. It also didn’t help that this woman was, how can I put it lightly, well she wasn’t putting it lightly. It made it seem much less of an ironic statement and more of a firmly held belief.

(Though I can’t talk as I put on a shirt I wore in b-school this evening and my first reaction was “I don’t remember this being so tight in the waist before.” Time for yet another diet.)

Anyway, what is your reaction supposed to be in a situation like this? Should you be an asshole and go “Hey look, you’ve got ketchup on your shirt.” Do you nod knowingly? Do you avoid eye contact as if they have the plague? I mean when I wear my Speed Racer t-shirt I expect people to bow to me in awe of my awesomeness. But what respect do you show someone who really, really appreciates the Heinz family of products?

(Yes, I own a Speed Racer t-shirt. And a Cobra Kai shirt. And one with the Cobra logo from G.I. Joe. And another that simply states “Nobody Reads My Blog”. Irony is essentially my main emotion. That might not be a good thing.)