Something a little different tonight. I’ve been playing around with writing this for Tawdry Amusements and figured that tonight is as good as any. So, here is my list of what I will buy when I become Mark Cuban rich, which will hopefully happen by next Tuesday.
1) The aircraft carrier from G.I. Joe (assuming that they even exist)
2) The complete set of Atlaspheres from American Gladiators (seriously, who wouldn’t want those in their backyard)
3) A first edition of The Great Gatsby
4) The original Millennium Falcon (the toy I most wanted at a kid but could never own)
5) Hire Howard Finkel to record the following for my answering machine, ringer and doorbell “The winner of the match and new world’s heavyweight champion, “The American Dream” EC”
6) Resod the lawn with Bermuda grass so that I’ll have my own putting green in the backyard
7) Tickets to any show that The Frames or The Arcade Fire play at any venue around the world
8) An arcade version of the Outrun game. And not the standup version, the one where you sat in a red convertible and drove. Oh, and one of those tabletop hockey games where it was the US vs. the USSR and you could make the crowd boo the Russians. Pretty much I just want to own everything that was in the arcade at the Haunted Trails miniature golf course when I was ten years old.
9) An original Shakespeare folio
10) A desk from Everett Lab room 242. The room that taunted me throughout all of college. If I ever would feel a need for time to slow down all I would need to do is sit in that desk because I swear time stopped when I was in that room being lectured to about how to dope silicon to a nanometer thickness to create the proper electrical connection.
11) Same vein, I’d endow a chair at the ND business school. Specifically, front row, right side, nearest to the center aisle. After having that seat for two years of business school it should be officially noted that that is my seat. There should be plaques or something.
12) A bar trivia machine. Actually a Backer replica wouldn’t be bad. And a plane to fly Donna back and forth when required.
13) Hire Gary Coleman to spend a night out at the bar with me. No real reason why I want to do this other than to be able to drop into everyday conversation, “So I was doing shots with Gary Coleman last week and…”
14) An Uncle Tupelo reunion. Even for only a half dozen songs. Don’t really care how much that would cost.
15) My own action figure. Complete with “Ultra-powerful glasses”, “Cynical gaze” and “Laptop of Doom” (I actually know someone who has his own bobblehead but an action figure would be cooler)
16) The condo two doors down from William Faulkner’s home in Pirate’s Alley. This would be the very first thing I did. That’s my favorite piece of real estate on the entire planet.
17) Can’t believe it took me this long to think of this one, Mace Windu’s lightsaber. Sure, I already have one but you can always use a spare lightsaber.
18) Dinner with Natalie Portman. I’d probably just sit there and stare for two hours but honestly, it would probably be worth it.
19) My very own Mach V. Along with a Trixie.
20) Finally, the one thing we all agree on as a must own. A duck. And a wagon for the duck to sit in. And a monkey to pull the wagon. And a cowboy hat for the monkey. Because everything in life is better with a monkey.
Have a good weekend everyone.
1) The aircraft carrier from G.I. Joe (assuming that they even exist)
2) The complete set of Atlaspheres from American Gladiators (seriously, who wouldn’t want those in their backyard)
3) A first edition of The Great Gatsby
4) The original Millennium Falcon (the toy I most wanted at a kid but could never own)
5) Hire Howard Finkel to record the following for my answering machine, ringer and doorbell “The winner of the match and new world’s heavyweight champion, “The American Dream” EC”
6) Resod the lawn with Bermuda grass so that I’ll have my own putting green in the backyard
7) Tickets to any show that The Frames or The Arcade Fire play at any venue around the world
8) An arcade version of the Outrun game. And not the standup version, the one where you sat in a red convertible and drove. Oh, and one of those tabletop hockey games where it was the US vs. the USSR and you could make the crowd boo the Russians. Pretty much I just want to own everything that was in the arcade at the Haunted Trails miniature golf course when I was ten years old.
9) An original Shakespeare folio
10) A desk from Everett Lab room 242. The room that taunted me throughout all of college. If I ever would feel a need for time to slow down all I would need to do is sit in that desk because I swear time stopped when I was in that room being lectured to about how to dope silicon to a nanometer thickness to create the proper electrical connection.
11) Same vein, I’d endow a chair at the ND business school. Specifically, front row, right side, nearest to the center aisle. After having that seat for two years of business school it should be officially noted that that is my seat. There should be plaques or something.
12) A bar trivia machine. Actually a Backer replica wouldn’t be bad. And a plane to fly Donna back and forth when required.
13) Hire Gary Coleman to spend a night out at the bar with me. No real reason why I want to do this other than to be able to drop into everyday conversation, “So I was doing shots with Gary Coleman last week and…”
14) An Uncle Tupelo reunion. Even for only a half dozen songs. Don’t really care how much that would cost.
15) My own action figure. Complete with “Ultra-powerful glasses”, “Cynical gaze” and “Laptop of Doom” (I actually know someone who has his own bobblehead but an action figure would be cooler)
16) The condo two doors down from William Faulkner’s home in Pirate’s Alley. This would be the very first thing I did. That’s my favorite piece of real estate on the entire planet.
17) Can’t believe it took me this long to think of this one, Mace Windu’s lightsaber. Sure, I already have one but you can always use a spare lightsaber.
18) Dinner with Natalie Portman. I’d probably just sit there and stare for two hours but honestly, it would probably be worth it.
19) My very own Mach V. Along with a Trixie.
20) Finally, the one thing we all agree on as a must own. A duck. And a wagon for the duck to sit in. And a monkey to pull the wagon. And a cowboy hat for the monkey. Because everything in life is better with a monkey.
Have a good weekend everyone.
1 comment:
Celeb gossip: Britney and Howie Day are now an item. They met in rehab. Awwwwwwwww.
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