Hey, it’s my two favorite things. And the Stanley Cup. Thank you, tip your bar staff, I’ll be here all week…
(Thanks as always to my friends at Deadspin for finding this picture. It’s like someone took a picture of one of my dreams, though admittedly in my dreams Lindsay is wearing a Blackhawks jersey.)
Attention Super Dave and anyone else who might be able to raise some capital quickly. There is a car auction going on right now in Dublin where we can bid on one of the four existing KITT’s. Yes, we can buy the car from freaking Knight Rider. It even has that blinking red LED on the hood working and all of the interior lights and buttons for things like oil slicks and turbo boost. While they claim that the car does not speak I feel that with some additional work I can remedy that, though I don’t know if I’ll be able to get the dude from St. Elsewhere to voice all of the tracks. We could probably settle for Howie Mandel so at least it would still be from the same show. (David Morse would be cheaper but much more disturbing). They also state that the car isn’t street legal but I don’t really see that as an issue. Who the hell is going to pull over Michael Knight? Not unless being awesome is now a crime. So who is with me to put up the $200K they’re asking for?
(Crickets (or possibly Cricket) chirp)
Bummer. What’s worse is that while driving to work on Monday I saw a car with a Missouri license plate that read “LT SABR” and I so wanted to use that one. Now I’m going to have to settle for “DRK SIDE” or “SITH RLZ”.
Staying on the geek front, and boy have we been spending a lot of time there in the past week, in what might be the most incredible programming decision ever ESPN Classic has obtained the rights to American Gladiators and are now showing the original episodes nightly. And they started by having a marathon on Saturday of pretty much the entire first season. What’s sad is that not only could I name all six of the original Gladiators (intense Nitro, tough guy Gemini, completely worthless Malibu, vaguely attractive Sunny, surprisingly non-athletic Lace and probably a dude Zap) but I even remembered the names of some of the contestants. Namely bad ass Billy Wirth, who was introduced as a writer from New York while completely ignoring the fact that he was an actor, stunt man and champion decathlete. I still remember Billy getting into a brawl with the gladiators during Powerball.
I guess I view this as proof of how good my memory is and how boring my life was in high school. I can’t really blame myself for my entertainment choices when I was sixteen but wow, when you watch the show again you realize just how horrible it was. Bad hair, horrible acting (even from someone who was brought up on pro wrestling) and competitions that always seemed to be bordering on silly (the battles with the giant Q-Tips are still some classic television moments). The show got better in later years as they got rid of the pro wrestling elements and brought in some awesome events like Swingshot and the Wall. Oh and Atlaspheres because there is nothing better than watching people run around in giant hamster balls.
Still, of all the things that ESPN has in its tape library this is what we feel is the best option for six in the evening? Really? Is this considered classic sports? If it was G4 or Spike or the Game Show Network I would understand but ESPN Classic? Talk about giving up on the channel. Might as well just call it the “Poker, Stump the Schwab and whatever tape is nearest to us” channel.
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