Thursday, October 26, 2006

The darker side of Elmo

Woke up this morning and saw that it was going to be another gray, drab rainy day. Just like it’s been for the past week. Then I drove to work while listening to a Nick Drake CD. How I did end up lying curled up in a ball under my desk due to uncontrollable existential melancholy is beyond me. Instead, I did what I do every morning. Get to my computer, half asleep in frog pajamas, and check my emails and the news headlines. And I was greeted with this one.

“Elmo used to smuggle meth”

In my groggy state I couldn’t figure out if this meant that a) someone used an Elmo doll to hide drugs (which is just slightly better than using your AT-AT), b) back before Elmo made his way to Sesame Street he spent some time working as a drug mule or c) Elmo is very accustomed to the drug trade and is rather blasé about his involvement in it. To be honest, I’m still not sure. This does make headline of the week, barely beating out “Keg explodes at party, killing one”, which immediately made me think that this is just another reason why I should switch to scotch.

(Yes, I know I shouldn’t make jokes about fatalities and I’ll probably go to hell for it. To be honest, it’s just getting added to the list of reasons. At a minimum, I’ll be dealing with some more negative karma.)

Today was weird news story day apparently. We also had the “By being fat, Americans are wasting gasoline.” That statement is true, in that if you weigh more you will be using more gas but there is a bit of a scale issue. They used the comparison of if you weighed 100 pounds more and I don’t think that most people have “lose 100 pounds” as one of their 43 goals. What’s more, if this is such a big issue why don’t we just tell people to clean out their cars. Get rid of the golf clubs in the trunk, remove the McDonald’s bags, and throw the fuzzy dice out the window. Actually, keep the fuzzy dice. There’s no point in having a car if you can’t be cool at the same time.

Don’t really have much to say. Not much going on this weekend outside of the usual bar hopping and music. Since it is a weekend close to Halloween I can anticipate seeing the people in costume while drinking. Well, besides the Batman cast, who decided that Halloween would be better served to be in August this year. For those wondering, I don’t throw on a costume to go to a bar. It just seems like such a sad thing to do. I can understand if you were at a party but it’s a bar. Unless it is an event all you are doing is making a fool out of yourself before you’ve even started drinking. Sure, the entire point of drinking is to make a fool out of yourself but it is the process that matters. A night next to the taps is much like Buddhism, the journey is much more important than the destination.

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